Partners and Reagans
by ncistennis
Summary: This is the third installment of the Partners series. It starts off with the end of their honeymoon and will follow Eddie and Jamie as they navigate their personal and professional lives as a married couple. Will involve all the Reagans, and knowing the Reagans if something good happens, something bad is right around the corner.
1. Chapter 1

Here is the continuation of the partners series! This is the third installment for Partners and Friends and Partners and Weddings.

Just for a frame of reference I have decided to set it during season six, so all ages would be related to the fall of season 6. Nicky and the boys have been aged a year from partners and weddings, I figured that if they can keep changing who is the oldest Reagan, I just play with the ages a little.

* * *

"Hey everyone" Jamie said walking into the family house

"Oh look whose back!" Henry said as Jamie and Eddie walked into the living room

"So how was Hawaii?" Nicky gushed

"Beautiful, we had a great time" Eddie said

"It was a lot of fun. We had a good time" Jamie said grinning at Eddie

"So how did you two wind up delivering a baby on your honeymoon?" Linda asked

"Seriously, what is it with you two. You can't just have a normal honeymoon? You have to go and play superhero?" Erin said

"What would the fun in that be?" Jamie asked laughing

"You two going to med school next?" Danny asked

"Oh God no, no more school" Jamie said

"Yea I second that" Eddie said laughing

"Well dinner isn't quite done yet. Welcome back you two" Frank said walking into the room

"You made dinner?" Jamie asked looking worried

"I know how to" Frank said

"What happened to Erin, Linda and Pop?" Jamie asked

"Everyone had a busy week, I can cook you know" Frank said

"Sure dad" Danny said

"Like you can do any better mr. spray cheese mac and cheese" Erin said laughing

"God that was disgusting" Jamie said

"I liked it" Sean said

"Of course you did" Jack said

"I don't think I would even eat that" Eddie said making a face

"I wouldn't recommend it" Nicky said laughing

"Well he tried" Linda said

"And failed" Jack said laughing

"Let's keep it civil, I want to hear more about Hawaii"

"Kid I'm glad you finally grew up enough to grow some scruff. You no longer look 16" Danny said putting his hand on Jamie's face

"Get off me" Jamie said laughing

"Yea better be gone by next tour" Frank said

"Don't worry Commissioner it will be" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"You also learn you're supposed to take your pants off in bed when you're posing" Danny said cracking up

"Oh God not this again" Jamie said

"Are we missing something?" Frank asked

"No" Jamie and Eddie said

"Kids why don't we go check on diner, let the siblings work this out" Frank said

Nicky, Jack and Sean left the room with Frank.

"Pop you too" Frank said

"Why me?"

"Please Pop, I don't need witnesses when I kick Danny's ass" Jamie said

"Alright" Henry said grumbling as he walked out.

"So you creating some kind of NYPD beefcake calendar?" Danny asked

"So you admit I'm the better looking brother?" Jamie said smirking

"Not at all" Danny

"It was my fault, it was only supposed to go to Hayley, as a joke. Instead, you all got it along with Sarge, Spence, Kara and Hayley" Eddie said blushing

"You two didn't say anything after but the comments were great"

"Yea so great" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"It was after he crashed into a reef surfing, I had to put antibacterial gel on his side and before I wrapped it I told him to pose and that's what he did. The comments just made it get a little out of hand"

"Yea I told him sex works better when he takes his boxers off" Danny said laughing

"Still not funny" Jamie said

"So can we drop it. It was more of a joke to Hayley cause she had sent one to us of Spencer curled up, cuddling a water bottle when he was drunk"

"It was more like he was posing for a catalog then anything else, he was grinning like the Cheshire Cat" Erin said laughing

"Yea sure make all the jokes you want, just remember I'm the youngest and will get to plan where you spend your retirements" Jamie said

"I'm shaking kid I'm so scared" Danny said

"Jamie is your side ok?" Linda asked

"Yes, it's fine now. Barrel crashed down on me and my board went one way and I went another way" Jamie said

"See it wasn't anything weird Danny" Jamie said

"It was just funny how Eddie sent it to all off us with the sweating emoji and the heart eyes" Erin said

"So can we end this discussion and never bring it up again?" Jamie asked

"I second that" Eddie said

"Of course" Erin and Linda said

"Fine" Danny agreed

"Great cause I'm hungry" Eddie said

"Of course you are" Jamie said laughing

"I wanna hear this whole story about you delivering a baby" Erin said

"Yea kid, even I never delivered one" Danny said

"No you passed out when Jack was born" Jamie said smirking

"He hadn't eaten all day you know" Linda said sarcastically

"Oh such pain Danny was in that day" Erin said rolling her eyes

"What? How did this turn into making fun of me?" Danny asked

"It's better that way" Jamie said smirking and ducking Danny as they walked into the dining room

Once they all sat down for dinner they started passing everything around.

"How were the flights?" Nicky asked

"Long, but not to bad" Eddie said

"Yea until Eddie almost went at it with the girl behind us" Jamie said laughing

"She was something" Eddie said rolling her eyes

 _"So would you rather have to live inside of a whale or have the body of a 110 year old tortoise, shell and all?" Eddie asked with a smirk._

 _"At least those aren't as sick as licking the Lincoln tunnel" Jamie said laughing_

 _Eddie didn't say anything, but shot him a look from her airplane seat._

 _"Where do you come up with these things. I mean Danny tells me that I was dropped on my head as a baby and even I'm not that twisted" Jamie said still laughing_

 _"Hey we haven't played the would you rather game in quite some time. Seriously some of my fondest memories of 12-David" Eddie said_

 _"I know we haven't seen much of each other leading up the wedding. We definitely don't spend eight to ten hours in a car trying to pass time"_

 _"That's why this plane ride is the perfect place to play. We still have two hours till Califrornia and then another what five-ish hours to Hawaii?" Eddie said_

 _"Seems right, I just know that surfing and laying on the beach with you and a beer will be worth this long ass plane ride" Jamie said_

 _"I've never been but a friend in highschool would go every year" Eddie said_

 _"Every year?" Jamie asked_

 _"Yea, country club school remember?"_

 _"True, true" Jamie said nodding_

 _"I really didn't think I would ever fly first class again after my dad was arrested"_

 _"Yea Spence really outdid himself with giving us his miles. Spencer is great and I love him don't get me wrong, but sometimes I think that he thinks he needs to provide me with everything he thinks I'm missing out on" Jamie said_

 _"Hayley and I have had long conversations about this. She said that he doesn't want to make you feel different or bad about giving up this lifestyle so he wants to be able to still give it to you"_

 _"And I'm forever grateful but he grew up in the Boston suburb, country club scene. I mean year we had a nice house and my mom was great at managing a family of six on a small budget but at the same time we all had jobs at 16, I was actually only 15 when I started coaching pee-wee basketball. He's never made me feel inferior in anyway, but I don't think he fully understands me wanting to give up that kind of lifestyle" Jamie said_

 _"I love that they still include us in this kind of stuff. I mean I never got the impression that he was trying to flaunt it or make you feel bad about it. I think he guinenly just wants the same thing for his best friend" Eddie said_

 _"He's a good friend, definitely takes me out of my comfort zone. He did make me go sky diving" Jamie said_

 _"How did you never tell me that?!" Eddie asked shocked_

 _"Probably cause I was about to pee myself I was so nervous. Like I had to pee so bad that it hurt" Jamie said shaking his head_

 _"You poor thing" Eddie said laughing_

 _"I'm serious Janko, I like an adrenaline rush just as much as the next person. Joe used to tell me I was an adrenaline junky but skydiving was a little too far out of my comfort zone. Spencer was about to throw up. We were up in the plane and he's yelling at me about why I would agree to do this. We're literally holding onto each other. We did it right after law school graduation, we figured if we survived that we could survive anything. So you have two 25 year old grown ass men clutching onto each other"_

 _"Please tell me there's a video" Eddie said smirking_

 _"Thank God it was before GoPros. I think there's at least pictures some where" Jamie said_

 _"Well we need to find them" Eddie said_

 _Jamie just shook his head and put his arm around Eddie._

 _"So ever think that our first UC looking at engagement rings would turn into actually being married?" Jamie asked_

 _"You big idiot, thinking I would just leave you there with him" Eddie said_

 _"I knew Grady wouldn't hurt me, I had a plan before I told you all to leave" Jamie said smiling_

 _Eddie just rolled her eyes "I will say that you in that suit being all lawyery and copy at the same time was really hot"_

 _"Yea that a turn on for you?" Jamie asked smirking._

 _"Oh yea" Eddie said cuddling closer to Jamie._

 _They talked a little more before Eddie fell asleep._

 _"Eddie" Jamie said poking her_

 _"Babe wake up, we're landing soon"_

 _"Mmph" Eddie said not waking up_

 _"Janko wake up" Jamie said kissing her_

 _Eddie eventually woke up but was still slouched against Jamie._

 _"Reagan don't wake me up" Eddie said turning her head into his shoulder_

 _"What you want the flight attendant to come and wake you up? I at least did it nicely" Jamie said laughing_

 _"Fine"_

 _"You can't give me attitude yet Janko we're not even in Hawaii" Jamie said laughing_

 _All of a sudden they heard the couple behind them start talking about them._

 _"I swear if you ever all me by my last name we will be divorced" A voice behind them said_

 _Jamie looked down at Eddie and protectively put an arm around her._

 _"Like it's just so disrespectful, I guess her first name isn't much better. Seriously who would even marry that?"_

 _Jamie was about to turn around when leaned into him._

 _"Jamie don't" Eddie warned_

 _"He definitely is out of her league, just like me, totally out of your league" The women said behind them_

 _"Where was he when I was looking for a husband? She really should be dressed better for a first class flight, now he looks like he has money" The woman said to her own husband. "They really just let anyone in first class these days"_

 _"Hey Jamie, we don't need black eyes for our honeymoon ok" Eddie eased_

 _"I know you can hear me" The women said_

 _"Unfortunately" Eddie said to Jamie and he started laughing_

 _"He could clearly do much better"_

 _"Look lady, why don't you just keep your opinions to yourself so your own husband doesn't have to hear you complain. And I know I married the best man around" Eddie seethed before she turned around_

 _Jamie didn't say anything he just smirked at her and kissed her._

 _"I love you" Jamie said_

 _"I love you too" Eddie said kissing him back_

"So it's time then to get off the plane and we get off and are waiting to see which gate we have to go to for the connecting flight and she walks up to Eddie and stands in front of her, and tells her 'oh you're not as ugly as I thought'. She was a wrinkly, oompha loompa colored orange and she couldn't have even been 50 yet, I thought Eddie was going to go after her but surprisingly she just turned around and walked away" Jamie said

"I really didn't want to start anything and plus her face scared me" Eddie said laughing

"What all because you called her Janko?" Danny asked

"Pretty much" Jamie said

"Then he was worried about calling me Janko the entire week. But at this point it's just as much my name as Eddie is. I told him calling me Edit would be grounds for divorce" Eddie said

"Yea only her mom or her dad calls her that" Jamie said

"So tell us the story of the baby" Erin said happily

"Well thank God for Linda" Jamie said

 _It had been raining pretty hard so Eddie and Jamie decided to just eat breakfast at the café next to their hotel, parts of the Island were flooding and they didn't want to get caught anywhere._

 _"Hey can I have some?" Jamie asked pointing to Eddie's omlet_

 _"Sure" Eddie said cutting off a piece_

 _They were almost done their breakfast when they heard screaming._

 _Jamie and Eddie just looked at each other and nodded and got up._

 _"Mam? Are you ok?" Eddie asked_

 _"Baby" the women answered_

 _"Are you going to have a baby?" Eddie asked looking back at Jamie_

 _The women didn't say anything but pushed her chair away from the table and Jamie and Eddie saw her round belly._

 _"I would take that as a yes" Jamie said "Someone call a bus" Jamie said taking the women's' pulse_

 _"He means ambulance" Eddie said clarifying_

 _"Mam were officers with the NYPD can we help you? Can we call anyone for you?" Eddie asked_

 _"No time, not in this weather"_

 _"Ok I'm Jamie and this is my wife Eddie"_

 _"Marissa"_

 _"Ok Marissa, is your doctor around here or a hospital we can take you to? We have a rental car"_

 _"Hospital is on the other side of the island, in this weather it will take about an hour for the ambulance to arrive._

 _"And how long to get her to the hospital?" Jamie asked_

 _"Longer than an hour" the waiter said_

 _"Is this your first?" Eddie asked_

 _"No second"_

 _"Ok, did your water break yet?" Jamie asked_

 _They knew judging that they were most likely going to be delivering this baby in a café._

 _"Yes, right as I was trying to get up to leave because the first contraction hit"_

 _"Do you mind if we take a look to see how far you are?" Eddie asked_

 _"No go ahead" Marissa said slightly calming down_

 _"Ok Marissa I don't think this baby is willing to wait for a hospital or ambulance but Eddie and I have delivered a baby before if you want us to help"_

 _"Yes, please, God do something"_

 _"Ok, ok" Eddie said laughing lightly_

 _"Kid what's your name?" Eddie asked the waiter_

 _"Tyler"_

 _"Ok Tyler I need you to get me some gloves, boil hot water and do you send any linens or towels out to a company?"_

 _"Yes, packs just came in yesterday"_

 _"Ok bring me a bunch of them, we're going to lay bigger ones on the ground and lay her on them. Do you have any clean aprons?"_

 _"Some should have been brought back yesterday"_

 _"Ok Marissa, Eddie and I will be right back, we're gonna go wash our hands. OK just sit tight" Jamie said calmly_

 _"Not like I can go anywhere"_

 _"That's the spirit" Eddie said_

 _"Ok we need to clear out this back area too" Jamie said as him and Eddie washed their hands_

 _"Tyler you was too ok? We might need some extra hands"_

 _"ME?"_

 _"Yea you, unless there's any doctors or nurses out there" Jamie said_

 _"I don't do good with blood and stuff. I'm in college, I don't have class on these mornings I just make coffee and eggs"_

 _"Tyler look me" Jamie said_

 _"We're gonna need some help here ok"_

 _"You can do it" Eddie said nodding_

 _"Ok you go back to Marissa, I'll clear out the side and Tyler you go ask if anyone has any medical training. Jamie and I have some but we don't have our RMP filled with supplies"_

 _Jamie went back to Marissa and got her down to the ground, they used some extra towels to prop her up._

 _"Sir a women is about to give birth over here, can you please kindly move to the other side?" Eddie asked an older man sitting by himself_

 _"I was here before her"_

 _"You really wanna look up a women's vagina while she gives birth during your morning bowel of oatmeal?" Eddie asked agitated_

 _"Yea, move it then" Eddie said ushering him away_

 _"Ok" Everyone is moved_

 _"Good cause this little guy is not waiting for anyone" Jamie said_

 _"Ok Marissa should we try your husband one more time?" Eddie asked_

 _They finally got her husband on the phone and they had Tyler hold the phone._

 _"You ready?" Eddie asked Jamie_

 _"Yea, you wanna deliver this one?" Jamie asked her_

 _"No you did it the last time, I'll happily be back here" Eddie said_

 _"Ok, here we go officer"_

 _"Yes Sargent" Eddie said laughing_

 _"Ok Marissa I'm gonna see how far along you are again" Jamie said as he pushed her dress up_

 _"I can feel the head, do you think you're ready to push?" Jamie asked_

 _Marissa started to push and then stopped to wait for the next contraction._

 _"So what are two NYPD officers doing in a café helping me give birth?"_

 _"Honeymoon" Eddie said smiling_

 _"You meet at work?" She asked breathing through the pain_

 _"Yea, he was my training officer and after a few years we both had gotten hurt and decided that maybe we were meant to be together"_

 _"She's pretty bossy" Jamie said smiling_

 _"Keep talking, I did this with drugs last time" Marissa said_

 _"Ok, Marissa you're doing great" Eddie said rubbing her back_

 _"I have to push"_

 _"Ok, go for it, I'm here to catch" Jamie said_

 _After a few seconds Jamie caught Eddie's eye to let her know that something was wrong._

 _"Tyler can you get me some more towels" Jamie asked tying to keep the concern out of his voice_

 _"Ed come here" Jamie whispered_

 _Jamie stood up and met Eddie._

 _"She's bleeding, like a lot. I don't know what to do" Jamie said_

 _"Ok, well, I think were in a little far to just leave her here. Does she bleed more when she pushes?" Eddie asked_

 _"Yea it seemed to be"_

 _"Tearing can be normal Jamie"_

 _"But it was a lot of blood" Jamie said_

 _"Ok Marissa I'm just gonna take a look ok?" Eddie said crouching down in front of her_

 _"You're doing great" Jamie said_

 _"Keep talking, about anything"_

 _"I kissed her in the middle of the sidewalk after only eight months of her being my partner and then we hid our feelings for awhile until we just couldn't do it any more"_

 _"How did you propose?" She breathed out_

 _"Upstate New York, we went away for a long weekend with my best friend and her best friend. They are dating now too"_

 _"Ok Marissa, you are starting to tear a little, and there's some blood. Did that happen the first time?" Eddie asked_

 _"Just a little, my first was smaller than this little guy"_

 _"Ok, shouldn't be much longer" Jamie said encouragingly_

 _"Jamie I think the baby is stuck" Eddie said quietly to Jamie_

 _"What?"_

 _"I'm calling Linda" Jamie said_

 _"Jamie, Eddie, what's wrong?" Marissa asked_

 _"It's gonna be ok Marissa" Eddie said_

 _"I was in the Navy for ten years, you don't need to sugarcoat anything"_

 _"Ok we think he is stuck" Eddie said_

 _"My sister in law is a nurse, we're going to put her on video chat, is that ok?"_

 _"Do what ever you have to, to get my baby out. It hurts"_

 _"I know sweetie, just take my hand ok?" Eddie said rubbing her back again_

 _"Tyler I need you to come hold my phone ok? You're doing good"_

 _"Linda hey it's Jamie"_

 _"Jamie how's Hawaii"_

 _"No time for that Eddie and I are delivering a baby and we think the head is stuck" Jamie said_

 _"You're what!"_

 _"Long story, mountains, rain. Just tell us what to do" Jamie said_

 _"Ok where do you think the baby is stuck at"_

 _"I think most of the baby is still in the uterus but the head it out" Jamie said_

 _"I figured, I meant head, shoulder"_

 _"He's heads mostly out"_

 _"Is the cord out yet?"_

 _"No"_

 _"Ok good, do not cut that cord till a bus gets there" Linda said_

 _"Ok" Jamie said nodding_

 _"Jamie how far out is that bus?" Linda asked_

 _"A good half hour at least and the hospital is on the other side of the island" Jamie said_

 _"Jamie this could get worse before it gets better"_

 _"Yea not trying to make that happen"_

 _"How much of the head it out?" Linda asked_

 _"All of it was out and then like sucked back in and then came out on the next contraction. Now the head is out and part of the top shoulder but the bottom shoulder is stuck. She's bleeding too" Jamie said_

 _"Ok, that's common, is Eddie with you?"_

 _"Yea she's been keeping Marissa pretty calm"_

 _"Ok walk back over to them"_

 _"I Marissa, I'm Linda. Your baby currently has shoulder dystocia I believe. They are going to have to widen your hips as much as they will go to get the baby out ok?" Linda said_

 _"Ok" Marissa said_

 _"Eddie lay her flat on her back and switch places with Jamie"_

 _Eddie went to Marissa's feet and Jamie went and kneeled next to her._

 _"OK Jamie you are going to bring her legs back as close as you can to her body, it's not going to feel great but you need to widen her pelvis, and Eddie you are going to reach in and try and twist the baby's shoulder on the next contraction ok"_

 _"Got it" Eddie said_

 _"Marissa, I'm sorry" Jamie said as he pulled both her legs back_

 _"You feel a contraction yet?" Eddie asked_

 _They waited another second and she nodded, Jamie held her legs and Eddie tried to twist the shoulder._

 _"At the end of the contraction stop Eddie" Linda said though the phone_

 _"Ok wait for the next one and do it again"_

 _"Linda there's blood" Eddie said getting worried they were making it worse instead of better_

 _"Ok, that's fine. You gotta get that baby out though. Jamie, next contraction in addition to pulling and turning her legs, you need to push down on her lower abdomen"_

 _"Ok, how far down?" Jamie asked_

 _"Where bikini bottoms would sit" Linda said_

 _"Here" Eddie said pointing and Jamie nodded_

 _"Ok here we go Marissa just keep breathing, ok. You're doing great" Eddie said as another contraction came and Eddie turned the baby_

 _"I have to keep going" Marissa said out of breath_

 _"Ok where are you at" Linda asked_

 _"It's a boy" Eddie said as Marissa pushed one more time_

 _Before Eddie even had to ask Jamie was handing her towels to wrap him in._

 _Eddie was still patting him on the back, getting him to cry. As she took one of the towels the baby started to cry._

 _"Here you go Marissa" Eddie said as Jamie sat her up and propped her with towels_

 _"Thank you, all of you" Marissa said crying_

 _"You did the hard part" Jamie said_

 _Jamie leaned over and kissed Eddie as she wrapped a towel around Marissa's shoulders._

 _A little while later the ambulance showed up and the paramedics were there for the rest of it. After they put Marissa on the stretcher and wrapped the baby in a heat blanket she stopped them._

 _"I can't thank you both enough, thank God you were here"_

 _"It was no trouble, really" Jamie said_

 _"We were happy to help" Eddie said_

 _Afterwards Jamie and Eddie walked back to their hotel to clean up._

 _"We still got it" Jamie said as he walked out of the shower_

 _"God how the hell did we do that?" Eddie asked laughing_

 _"It was beautiful, you did amazing" Jamie said walking over to her._

 _"You gonna be that calm if we ever have a kid?" Eddie asked_

 _"I would like to say yes, but I'm gonna go with no" Jamie said_

 _"How many do you want?" Eddie asked_

 _"I liked having a big family as annoying as they can be sometimes, I wouldn't have traded it for the world" Jamie said_

 _"I like the idea of three or four" Eddie said "But then we could have one and that could be more than enough"_

 _"I like that idea but I want them to have a sibling" Jamie said "You know we could always practice" Jamie said, his voice growing husky._

 _"We could" Eddie said pulling his towel off his waist._

"I couldn't believe it when you called and said you were delivering a baby"

"Only you two" Danny said

"Yea this one was more complicated thought" Jamie said

"Yea the movie theater one I just held her hand and Jamie checked to see how far she was and then kinda just caught the baby"

"We definitely didn't have enough training for this one" Jamie said

"Totally didn't miss my calling as on OBGYN" Eddie said

"Me either"

"But everything turned out fine, mom and baby are both doing well" Eddie said

"So when are you two going to have one?" Erin asked

"And here I thought we could get through one dinner without that question" Jamie said

"Kid I mean it wasn't like you two were trying to prevent it, I walked in on your bare, pale naked ass twice before the wedding"

"Danny" Jamie yelled

"That key was for emergencies"

"You told me to come over to help with the house and I let myself in"

"You should've learned to knock after the first time" Jamie said as Eddie turned bright red

"I'm just saying that you two didn't seem like you were trying to not get pregnant"

"Anyone want dessert? I'll even hand wash all the dishes" Jamie said getting up

"I'll help" Eddie said grabbing plates and taking them into the kitchen

"I'm sorry" Jamie said as they were in the kitchen alone

"It's ok" Eddie said laughing "Danny walking in was our fault, we knew he was coming over to help"

"He doesn't have to bring it up at dinner" Jamie said laughing and as he kissed Eddie

"Oh I remember this stage" Erin said walking into the kitchen

"Er" Jamie groaned

"You two are cute" Erin said smiling

They cleaned up from dinner and set out dessert

"So you looing forward to going back to work?" Linda asked

"Yea, we both have day tours tomorrow so hopefully we can get a normal sleep schedule back from the time difference" Eddie said

"You do know going into another room won't stop us from asking questions" Linda said as they walked back in with dessert

"Ugh" Jamie said

"We'll get there eventually. I promise" Eddie said laughing

"I thought you guys would have at least given us a month to be married" Jamie said sitting back down

"When have we ever backed down from anything, I'm not getting any younger here" Henry said

"Ok, ok. We just want to enjoy being married for a little. We're not opposed to it but we're just taking it as it comes" Eddie said

"So in other words back off" Jamie said putting his arm around Eddie.

"You heard them" Frank said

"Thank you" Jamie said

"I had fun at the wedding" Sean said

"Yea you liked the dessert table" Danny said laughing

"We had fun too" Eddie said

"I thought it was great that Vinny's mom come after moving away" Frank said

"Yea I stayed in contact with her. I told her she was under no obligation to feel the need to come but she said she wouldn't miss it. It meant a lot that she came. Vin was always really protective of her so I make sure she's doing well" Jamie said

"I would have loved to meet Vinny, his mom seems really great" Eddie said

"Yea, he and I got off to a rough start but it all worked out" Jamie said

"I was glad to meet Jackie too" Eddie said

"Yea it was really nice that she came" Jamie said

"It was fun hanging out with her for a few days too" Danny said

"I miss Jackie, she was a little better at preventing him from doing stupid stuff" Linda said laughing

"So did Jamie really have a crush on her when he was a rookie?" Eddie asked smirking

"Oh yea, Jac could do no wrong. No matter how mad at me he was it all went away after he saw her" Danny said

"I did not" Jamie said blushing

"Oh come on you can admit it Jamie" Eddie said laughing

"I respected her as a cop, I was engaged when I met her"

"Saw how well that went" Danny said

"Yea she was hot she was also a lot older than me" Jamie said

"She would've eaten you alive kid"

"I'm sure of that"

After dinner they finished up and went back to their own house.

"I can't wait for the house to be done" Eddie said

"I know me too" Jamie said

"You tired? Cause I know I should be but I don't think I am" Jamie said

"Not overly tired" Eddie said

"Sorry about dinner. I didn't think they would ambush us with baby fever just yet" Jamie said

"I really didn't expect anything less" Eddie said laughing

"They can be pushy" Jamie said

"It's ok, I know we agreed to wait a little but if you want to we can start trying" Eddie said

"Let's just see how it goes. I liked the practicing part" Jamie said smirking

"I'm sure you did. I'm gonna go get ready for bed" Eddie said

"I'm gonna go through the mail and I'll be right up" Jamie said

A little while later Jamie went up to bed and saw Eddie wasn't there.

"Ed?" Jamie asked walking in

"Took you long enough" Eddie said opening the bathroom door

As soon as the door opened Jamie looked over and was shocked when he saw Eddie wearing a familiar pink shirt.

"Wait you still have that?" Jamie asked laughing as he walked over to her

"I was saving it for a special occasion" Eddie said

"I thought you said you would never wear it. Where has it been hiding, we've lived together for a little now?" Jamie asked

"A secret spot" Eddie said

"Well it looks pretty damn good on you" Jamie said running his hand up her back under the shirt

"It pairs really well with nothing" Eddie said looking Jamie directly in the eyes

Jamie didn't say anything, he just leaned down and kissed her.

"I'll say" Jamie said into her mouth

"I told you it was a turn on for some guys, or at least me" Jamie said pulling her over to the bed.

* * *

A few weeks later they were adjusting to married when and their shifts had been split, Jamie had desk sergeant duty for a while and Eddie was on night tours. Jamie was going over the paperwork from the pervious night when he saw Edit Janko's name come up on a rip.

J: You want to tell me why I have a rip with your name on it?

E: Oh that. Eddie answered

Jamie just laughed when he saw her response

J: Yea that

E: I forgot to follow orders

J: Shocker

E: Wonder where I learned that

Jamie was about to call her when her name flashed on his phone, he opened her facetime and got up to close his office door

"Hey babe" Jamie said

"Hey. How did you get my rip?" Eddie asked

"Casey banged in sick so I'm paperwork duty" Jamie said

"Oh that sucks"

"Yea so I get to do all of the paper work from last night" Jamie said

"Lucky you" Eddie said laughing

"So you wanna tell me what you did?" Jamie asked smirking

"Well it was a domestic, McKenna and I responded. Husband was beating the wife and kid and the other responding officers were all men and you know sometimes kids are more comfortable with female officers if their father had been abusing them and the little boy asked if I would go to the hospital with them and an officer had to go anyway but Captain Crankypants told me that just because I married the PC's kid doesn't mean his name will get me out of anything. I told him that it had nothing to do with that, that the kid bonded himself to me as the first responding officer and it was important to gain his trust and he said it was an order than I stay at the scene and I said it was better to go with the kid and then he started yelling about how I can't do anything I want"

"Captain Cranken, you mean?" Jamie asked laughing

"Yea"

"Someone once told me that you should do what you think is right even if you get yourself in trouble. I thought it was more important for this kid to open up and tell us everything than freak him out even more"

"No it sounds like you made the right call. I probably would've done the same thing" Jamie said

"I mean it's how I was trained. My TO got suspended my first month on the job, what do you want from me?" Eddie asked laughing

"Yea, yea, yea Eddie" Jamie said laughing

"At least I can use this time to get some of the stuff done at the house we have been forgetting to do" Eddie said

"Ok, I have to go. They need the patrol supervisor to go out. So I have to go. Love you" Jamie said

"Love you too"

* * *

Eddie and Jamie had been married for a little over a month and they were nearing Thanksgiving. The house was almost finished and they both had been working long tours but it all had been going well. It was mid-November and Jamie and gotten into a good groove with his partner, Casey Dugan. Him and Eddie had both been working day shifts lately.

Jamie and Casey had been on patrol when they heard a 10-84 go over the air.

"Light it up" Jamie said as he started driving faster

Once they were at the apartment complex they went in and he thought he had seen Eddie's blonde hair run out after a the suspect. Officer Miller had been knocked over by the perp and was just getting up.

"Miller what do we got?" Jamie asked

"Domestic, guy knocked me down. Janko, McKenna and Dunleevey went after him" Miller said as they took off running after the suspect

"Police stop" Eddie sad a few steps behind Dunleevey. McKenna had collided with a resident with a bike but Eddie and Andrew continued their chase.

Dunleevey ran up the stairs and all of a sudden the suspect turned and fired and hit him. Eddie fired back, hitting the suspect who kept moving and he fired back hitting Eddie. Dunleevey was already falling back and Eddie tried to catch him as they fell down the stairs. McKenna called in a 10-13 as he ran up and Jamie, Casey and Miller were right behind them.

"Miller go with McKenna try and get him"

"Eddie!" Jamie yelled sliding next to her.

Eddie didn't immediately answer and saw her laying in blood holding Dunleevey.

* * *

I hope you all like the start of the continuation of the Partner's series. I had a really hard time with this chapter, I rewrote it a few times. I have a lot of stories lines that I am excited to write about so I'm sorry if the honeymoon felt rushed, but I am more excited to write about their life together as Reagans. Don't forget to review! And if there are any storylines you would like to see let me know!


	2. Chapter 2

"Eddie" Jamie yelled as he slid over to Eddie

"Miller, McKenna go get him"

"Dugan check on Dunleevy"

Jamie could hear his partner trying to get Dunleevy to respond. He knew that this wasn't the time for emotions and feelings and worry. It wasn't just his wife that was done, Andrew was someone's husband, a fellow cop, a brother in blue and Jamie knew he needed to keep his head on to make sure he saved both him and Eddie.

"Ed?" Jamie asked.

He was frantically unzipping her jacket and ripping open her shirt until he got to her vest. He didn't remember the Velcro being this hard to work before and he went around pulling off the straps.

"Hold on Eddie" Jamie said as Eddie was trying to sit up, dazed.

Jamie finally got under of her vest undone and snaked his hand underneath, he had his left hand under her vest and his right one on the top where the bullet entered. He felt all around her left side under the vest and on her stomach and rib cage and couldn't find an exit hole for the bullet.

"You're vest caught it" Jamie said relieved and out of breath.

"Central 12-Sargent we have to officers down, need two buses forthwith. Possibly a third for the perp, there's blood going up the stairs. Officers Miller and McKenna are giving chase. Put a rush on the bus" Jamie said

"Stay put" Jamie said to Eddie and he moved her to Andrew lying next to Eddie. He knew they were good friends, he had been in the Marines and when he retired he joined the NYPD. He was in Eddie's academy class and she said he was the first person to sit with out after it had been outed that her father was in prison.

"Andrew, come on stay with" Jamie said as Casey had already been applying pressure to the bullet wound.

"Come on Dunleevy, stay with me, open you eyes" Jamie begged and he lightly slapped his face to try and wake him up.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Eddie trying to sit up.

"Ed stay down" Jamie said

"No, Andrew"

"Casey and I have him. You fell down the stairs Janko. Lay down now, you could have hurt your neck or shoulders"

Eddie did as she was told and laid back down trying to process everything that was happening.

"Look what we got" McKenna said walking down the stairs as Eddie's eyes rolled back and she passed out.

"Thank God she listened to me" Jamie said

"Janko" McKenna said giving the perp to Miller and running down the stairs to his partner.

"Where the hell is the ambulance. Come on Dunleevy" Miller yelled to his own partner

"Central where's that bus?" Casey asked into his radio

"Officers what do we have?" One of the paramedics asked running up.

"Officer Dunleevy, bullet to the stomach, caught it right under his vest. We've been trying to stop the bleeding and doing chest compressions since he hit the ground" Jamie said not being able to tell the paramedics that his friend was dead.

"Casey let the paramedics work" Jamie said pulling him off from holding pressure on the wound.

"Officer Janko took a bullet to the vest, it didn't go through. She fell down the stairs then holding Officer Dunleevy. She tried to sit up but then passed out" Jamie said as another paramedic strapped a neck brace to Eddie.

Eddie had come to already as McKenna was talking to her.

"I'm, I'm fine" Eddie said pushing the paramedics hands away.

"Officer are you refusing medical treatment?" The paramedic asked

"Yea, Dunleevy needs help" Eddie said totally out of breath and dazed.

"We're working on him too. Let us help you" The paramedic said

"No she's not. Officer Janko, go to the hospital. It's a direct order from a superior officer" Jamie said not having the energy to argue with her about it.

He then walked over and crouched down next to her.

"I'm right behind you ok" Jamie said gently putting a hand on her head.

"She's my wife" Jamie said quietly to the paramedic.

He didn't say anything back but he gave Jamie a reassuring nod. The paramedics had already taken Dunleevy out and were moving Eddie and getting ready to move the perp when their patrol supervisor came up.

"Good work you four, it could have been much worse"

"I need Reagan and Dugan to stick around, Miller and McKenna go with your partners"

"We should get to the hospital"

"You will Reagan but you guys have to talk to the detectives first. Anyone else fire their weapon?"

"Just officer Janko. She had got him in the leg as she was falling backwards and he tried to run up the stairs but we caught up with him and he gave it up" McKenna said

"Hell of a partner you got there McKenna, you too Reagan"

Jamie and Mike McKenna just nodded at each other.

They started to walk back down the stairs, the adrenaline starting to rush out of them.

"Dugan?" Jamie asked his younger partner

"I've never seen a dead cop before" He said looking at his blood stained hands

Jamie didn't say anything. He knew Dunleevy wasn't going to make it, he had blood coming out of his mouth when Casey first got to him. He knew that was the end all to well from Vinny. There wasn't anything he could say that would make this better or change or Dugan was feeling so he just put his hand on his shoulder. Dugan had only been on patrol for about a year. His patrol car had been T-boned by a drunk driver on the passenger side where he was sitting several months into his rookie year so technically he was still a rookie since he had missed so much time with a broken leg. Jamie had known him since they were kids, he too came from a large Irish Catholic cop family but he knew no matter how many cop funerals he had been to that this would change him for ever.

Once they all talked to the detectives, he and Casey headed over to St. Vics.

* * *

"What do we have?" Linda said meeting the paramedics

"2 officers and one perp all with one GSW"

"What precinct?" Linda asked

"12th"

"Oh God" Linda said as they started to open the rig doors. She prayed to God that it wasn't Jamie or Eddie laying in the back of the ambulance.

"Officer Janko, GSW to the vest, possible broken ribs, concussion, spinal bruise and dislocated shoulder" The paramedic said

They already had Dunleevy in the trauma room and had pronounced him DOA.

"Eddie" Linda said gently

"Come on get her inside now" Linda yelled snapped out of seeing Eddie being wheeled into her ER.

"It's ok, we got you now"

"Jam, Jamie" Eddie said breathing heavily

"I'll get him here, let us take care of you" Linda said

* * *

"Boss" Baker said solomly walking into Frank's office with Sid and Garrett right behind her.

"What it is Baker?" Frank asked looking up and knowing it was good news.

"We have two officers shot during a domestic call"

"Where"

"12th Precinct Sir" Sid said speaking up

"I want all tours extended until we find this son of a bitch"

"We have him"

"Then who?" Frank asked

"Wires are crossed, they heard Officer Janko, Miller and McKenna's voice go over the air and Sargent Reagans"

Frank closed his eyes, prayed that it wasn't his two and continued.

"Who was shot"

"Unclear right now but possible Officer Janko, Miller or Dunleevy"

"That's three" Frank said

"We have two confirmed officers, but three buses and Officer Miller had asked for a distressed 10-85 before the shots fired came in. Chatter is also that the perp was shot by one of the officers that was hit"

"Get my car" Frank said standing up

"St. Vics, I'm trying to get more info" Sid said

* * *

"Eddie relax, ok? Let us do our job. You're safe now" Linda said meeting the younger woman's eyes as she was trying to fight the nurses off of her.

Eddie laid back down and listened to her sister in law. They sent her for x-rays and a head CT and them moved her to a room.

"Eddie are you comfortable?" Linda asked walking back into her room.

"Yea, Jamie?" Eddie said wincing in pain

"Officer Miller said he had to stay at the scene. You have a visitor though" Linda said "I have to get back to the ER but if you need anything have them page me"

"Thanks"

"Hey partner" McKenna said walking in

"Hey Mike" Eddie said wincing again

"Mind if I keep you company until Reagan get's here. I know I'm easier on the eyes but you still like him better" He said trying to lighten the mood

"Thanks"

"Good shot Eddie"

"How?"

"You hit him in the leg and slowed him down"

"I didn't realize I got him. I only heard the window break"

"No you got him good" McKenna said patting her leg as he sat down.

"Dunleevy?"

"I'm not sure, I came up here as soon as they said I could see you"

"Thanks"

"You look tired Janko, close your eyes. I'll stay still Jamie gets here or I'll wake you if the doc comes in with your results"

"Thank you" Eddie said

McKenna got up to dim the lights in her room and sat back down in the chair thanking God that he was sitting with his partner.

A short while later he heard a knock on the door.

"Sir" McKenna said immediately standing at attention as he saw Frank at the door.

"At ease Officer McKenna"

"How's Officer Dunleevy?"

Frank didn't say anything but he didn't have to as McKenna could read his face.

"I just came from sitting with his wife and kids. Officer Miller is with them now. She asked me for an update of Officer Janko"

"They were good friends with Eddie. She told me that Melissa, his wife would have her over for dinner at least twice a week when they were in the academy together"

"Does Eddie know?" Frank asked

"I don't think so. I didn't have an update to give her before she fell asleep"

"How long has she been asleep?"

"Half hour maybe. It doesn't seem overly restful though"

"Probably not" Frank said

"Sir do you want to sit with her and I'll go check on Miller and Melissa. Andrew was a good friend of mine too" McKenna said

"Yes thank you" Frank said

McKenna walked out and Frank walked over to Eddie's bed and lightly kissed the top of her head. She was his daughter now just as much as Erin and he hated to see any of his officers shot, let alone his own family.

He sat down in the chair quietly when she woke up shortly thereafter.

"Officer Janko" Frank said smiling

"Commissioner" she said sleeping trying to figure out how to salute half asleep.

"At ease Eddie, I'm here as your father-in-law" Frank said

"I don't think you need to be here, I'm fine" Eddie said sitting herself up

"I got shot in the vest on patrol, it hurts. But I'm sure you figured that out already"

"Jamie did everything he was supposed to Sir, he kept his head and did it all by the book"

"I'm happy to hear that" Frank said

"You know you can have your pick of assignments" Frank said

"I'm happy where I am" Eddie said

"Officer Janko" The doctor said knocking on the door

Frank was about to get up when Eddie told him to stay so he sat back down.

"We got the results of your x-rays, you have two broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder and a grade 1 concussion. We are going to keep you over night for observation and you should be released tomorrow"

"I can go home tonight" Eddie said "I'm fine"

"Eddie" Frank said giving the look he uses on all of his kids

"Guess I'll stay then. Thank you" Eddie said to the doc

"You know you are already a Reagan you didn't have to get hurt to prove it" Frank said

"What fun would that have been?" Eddie asked

"Good work today Officer Janko" Frank said

"How's Andrew?" Eddie asked

Frank didn't know what to do but he also knew he couldn't lie to her.

"Eddie" Frank said

"Oh no" Eddie said putting her hand to her mouth

"I'm so sorry Eddie, he was pronounced dead in the trauma room. They tried but he lost too much blood" Frank said

"I should've done something more" Eddie said starting to cry

Frank walked over and sat on the edge of her bed.

"You did everything you could Eddie while also being shot" Frank said hugging her

"It's ok Eddie" Frank said still hugging his daughter in law.

A few nurses rushed in and got Frank off the bed.

"Her heart rate is too high, we need to give her something to calm her down, Commissioner"

"Will she wake up later today. Her husband is on his way" Frank said

"Yes, within the hour. We just needed to calm her down"

Frank just thanked them and sat back down in the chair. He thanked God that it wasn't Eddie or Jamie that were killed today, he knew they both would need the family as they worked through this. Not only was Eddie shot for the first time but they both lost a friend. In any marriage that wasn't easy but especially being back from your honeymoon for a month.

"Dad" Jamie said quietly as he walked into Eddie's room.

"Jamie, son how are you?"

"I'm ok. How's Eddie?" Jamie asked never taking his eyes off Eddie's bed.

"Two broken ribs, grade one concussion and a dislocated shoulder"

"Damn" Jamie said swallowing

"Dunleevy?" Jamie asked

Frank didn't say anything, he just shook his head.

Jamie ran a hand though his hair and crouched down.

"Son?" Frank said helping him back up

"I'm ok, just damn" Jamie said

"I'm gonna go check on Melissa. I think the rest of the cavalry will be here soon"

"I'm not sure she's gonna wanna be swamped with everyone. Can you also check on Casey, as soon as we parked I sprinted up here and he had never seen another officer get shot, never had another officer's blood on his hands. Can you have Danny check on him?"

"Sure Jamie, just take care of Eddie. They gave her something to calm her down but she should wake up soon"

"Thanks dad" Jamie said walking over to Eddie's bed. He lightly kissed her on the lips and sat down in the chair.

"Eds" Jamie said quietly as he took Eddie's hand in his, as he got choked up. He silently thanked God and Joe that it wasn't Eddie laying under a white sheet over her face.

Jamie said back in his chair and played with his hat in his hands. He was getting impatient for her to wake up.

He then heard a soft groan and looked to see Eddie moving around.

"Eddie, you're ok" Jamie said quietly.

"Jamie?" Eddie asked

"Yea, lambchop I'm here" Jamie said giving her a smile

"Good" Eddie said reaching for the cup of water on the table

He could see her hands were a little shaky so he held it for her and put the straw to her mouth.

"Easy there hotshot" Jamie said as she was chugging it

Eddie didn't say anything just pushed his hand away when she was done.

Once she fully had woken up Jamie spoke up again.

"What's wrong you look like you got shot or something" Jamie said with a half-smirk. He needed a joke to diffuse what ever it was that was still in him that thought he would so up to this hospital and be told that Eddie had died.

"I'll go with or something" Eddie said sitting up again.

"How are you, really?" Jamie asked

"Sore" Eddie said groaning

"Can I see it?" Jamie asked

"Go for it" Eddie said moving the covers.

"Jamie went over to the left side and undid the snaps on the side when he saw the angry, purple bruise.

"Jesus Eddie" Jamie said inhaling

"Point blank range will do that" Eddie said

Jamie lightly swiped his thumb over it and up to one of the secret things they did in Hawaii.

"Right under the 12" Jamie said and he moved his thumb back and forth over the 12 that was on the side of her ribcage under her boob.

"Oh God Linda probably saw it. Everything got cut off. I think they let me keep my underwear on but they cut my turtleneck and bra off and were sticking heart leads all over me faster than I could think" Eddie said

"She was doing her job, probably didn't even notice"

"You jealous the hot ER doc saw my boobs today?"

"Oh yea" Jamie said smiling

"You're gonna be sore for awhile Eds"

"I know, it beats the alternative" Eddie said

"Don't even go there, I can't" Jamie said taking her hand.

"Lay with me?" Eddie asked

"You sure I won't hurt you?" Jamie asked

"Just lay on the right" Eddie said

Jamie walked over to the chair and took off his shoes, duty belt, coat and button-up shirt and laid next to Eddie in his NYPD turtleneck and pants.

"I'm glad you're ok" Jamie said kissing her as he laid on his side.

He propped himself with his left arm and his right hand had her hands resting on her stomach.

"How's the head?" Jamie asked

"Not too bad, the dimmed lights helped" Eddie said

"Shoulder?" Jamie asked

"I get this sexy sling for a little apparently" Eddie said

"So hot" Jamie said laughing

It got a small smile out of Eddie and she turned her head to face him.

"I really thought you rocked that neck brace" Jamie said

"I'm sorry I fought you earlier about the hospital" Eddie said

"It's ok, that's why I pulled rank and made them take you" Jamie said

"I guess that was for the best"

"Is that the closest to Jamie you were right that I'm ever going to get?" Jamie asked

"Yes" Eddie deadpanned

Jamie didn't say anything, he just kissed her again.

"I was trying to make sure Dunleevy got help"

"He did, first paramedics went to him" Jamie said

"Jamie, he, he didn't" Eddie said as her face crumpled

"I know, I'm so sorry Eddie" Jamie said as he unlatched their hands and hugged her.

"Shh it's ok" Jamie said kissing her head as turned her head to cry into his shoulder.

"No it's not ok Jamie" Eddie said still crying

"I know it's not" Jamie said feeling his own eyes water.

He gently rolled Eddie so her could get his left arm under her and he pulled her in for a better hug as she cried. This was the closest friend she had ever lost to the job and Jamie knew it wasn't going to be easy. He still felt guilty that he was so happy it was Eddie, but her friend. He didn't know what to do for her other than just lay there. She still had her head on his shoulder and had her fingers peaking out of the sling holding onto his turtleneck.

"Let it all out babe" Jamie said resting his chin on the top of her head.

Jamie didn't know what else to say, there wasn't anything that made him feel better other than time when Joe and Vinny were killed. He just laid next to Eddie and tried to absorb as much pain as he could. When their from Tom died, it was different, they weren't there and Eddie wasn't as close to him as she was Dunleevy. Jamie had one hand playing with her hair and his right hand lightly ran up and down her left arm, not wanting to her injured left side.

"Shh, Ed. You need to slow down a little, your BP is getting a little high" He said kissing the top of her hair

As soon as Jamie said it her door opened and a nurse walked in.

"I'm Nurse Judy, Officer Janko we're going to give you some medicine to calm you down"

"NO" Eddie said

The nurse didn't say anything but looked at Jamie hoping he would take her side.

"You heard her. She's of sound mind" Jamie said

"Well if her BP doesn't come down then I will before to give it to her" The nurse said

"Now isn't the best time, how about you come back later. She's ok" Jamie said

"Officer you should probably leave" The nurse said

Eddie immediately clutched onto Jamie tighter.

"Sargent actually" Jamie said getting annoyed with this nurse.

"Well this is still highly inappropriate, I am going to need you to leave"

"I'm her husband, not her partner" Jamie said not moving

"Well clearly you need to leave since you are upsetting her more" Judy said

Jamie could feel Eddie shaking next to her, he really didn't know what this lady's problem was but he was about two seconds away from blowing a gasket.

"Janko I'm not going anywhere don't worry" Jamie said trying to reassure her.

"I think we need a new nurse" Jamie said

Judy didn't move. And Jamie shifted so he could get his phone out of his pocket and Judy just walked out of the room.

"Jamie, you can't leave. I don't want to be sedated. I just want to go home" Eddie said crying even harder.

"If it's not essential to your health I won't let her give it to you. I'm here, if you can't consent they still need my permission. It's ok. I'm gonna call Linda. I'll get the PC to get you a new nurse if you need it" Jamie said as he was trying to get up.

"Don't leave" Eddie said in a weak voice

"I'll be right outside the door" Jamie said kissing her

Jamie walked out and sighed and pulled out his phone.

"Hey Linda" Jamie said

"Is Eddie alright, I'm on my way to see her. There was a car accident I haven't been able to get away"

"Oh ok, I'll wait until you get up here then"

"Ok, I'll be there soon"

No sooner Jamie saw Linda walking up.

"Hey Lin" Jamie said giving her a hug

"You doing ok? I'm sorry about your friend"

"I'm ok" Jamie scrubbing a hand over his face.

"How's Eddie?"

"Well now she's pissed off" Jamie said

"She'll probably cycle through the stages of grief Jamie, I shouldn't have to tell you that"

"No her nurse is a real bitch. I get you guys have a busy, stressful job but Danny has a better bed-side manner than this woman" Jamie said

"Who?" Linda asked

"Judy"

"Oh no" Linda said

"She's been reprimanded before, she hates cops. Like actually hates them, she's not allowed to work with them" Linda said

"Then how the hell did she get Eddie's case?" Jamie said

"I'm not sure. I'll talk to her doc"

"I don't want you getting jammed up but she threatened to sedate Eddie and commit her so she could give her some kind of medicine. She's really freaked out" Jamie said

"Yea that goes against our ethics" Linda said "Go back to Eddie, I'll take care of it"

"Thanks Linda"

"The natives are getting restless out there too. They want to see her"

"Great" Jamie said sarcastically "I see if she's up for it" Jamie said walking back into Eddie's room.

"Eddie, Linda said that she's gonna talk to the doc. Apparently she doesn't like cops and isn't supposed to treat them, seems like she's one rip away from getting fired. But you will get a new nurse"

"Thank you" Eddie said

"You think you're up for the family. They want to see you" Jamie said sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Everyone?" Eddie asked apprehensively

"I think the kids are in school, but then again maybe they pulled them so they didn't find out from social media"

"Ok, I guess"

"I'll tell them to be gentle since it's your first" Jamie said smirking

"Who knew that would have so many connotations from our first night as partners" Eddie said offering him an actual smile

"So you ready for them?" Jamie asked getting his phone out again

"As I'll ever be" Jamie said

"I'll go get them and tell them not to smother you but I make no promises" Jamie said

"I wouldn't expect anything else" Eddie said

Jamie walked out to the waiting room and saw everyone including the kids sitting with worried faces.

"Jamie how is she?" Erin asked jumping up.

"She's ok, taking Andrew's death hard but she's ok. Her nurse was a real bitch that wanted to sedate her for no reason so I talked to Linda and she's gonna talk to the doc about getting a new one. Apparently she doesn't like cops"

"Who does anymore" Danny deadpanned

"Yea cop get's killed another one get's shot and somehow we still screwed up. Luckily she hasn't had the energy to go on social media. I looked when I was waiting for her to wake up and people really grow a big pair when they are behind the safety of their screens"

"I definitely don't miss patrol anymore" Danny said "Couldn't pay me enough to go back on the beat"

"Yea and somehow I still think I'd miss it" Jamie said

"Come on, let's go see her. You two can bitch about people hating cops later when Pops get's here" Erin said

"Where is he?" Jamie asked

"Friend of his had heart surgery so he went to check up on him since we couldn't see Eddie yet" Danny said

"Nicky can you go get him. Room 304" Erin said

"Sure"

"Dad?" Jamie asked looking around

"With Dunleevys wife" Danny said

"Good" Jamie said

Jamie, Erin and Danny were walking towards Eddie's room with Jack and Sean in tow when they heard muffled yelling coming from Eddie's room.

"Eddie" Jamie said running, thanking God he had put his belt back on before he went to get the family. Something told him not to leave his gun unattended with an injured Eddie.

Jamie said Danny put his hand on his gun and they motioned to Erin to get security and take the boys away

"NO, STOP, GET AWAY" They heard Eddie yell

Danny took one side of her door and Jamie took the other.

Danny turned the knob and Jamie kicked in open running into her room with his weapon drawn with Danny right next to him.

"Police don't move" Jamie yelled

"Step away right now" Danny yelled

* * *

So this took a turn at the end that I wasn't expecting, it sort of just happened and I decided to leave it. I hope you all like it, don't forget to leave reviews! I am thinking about taking requests for this story so let me know if you want to see anything!


	3. Chapter 3

Jamie could tell Eddie had been fighting her off and she was panting and sweaty and looked exhausted. Her covers were strewn about and her hospital gown and been unsnapped and had fallen down her shoulder.

"Don't even think about it" Jamie said walking closer to Judy gun still drawn

"On your knees" Danny yelled

"Get away from the bed" Jamie yelled after she didn't listen to Danny

"Kid" Danny said looking at him

"You're under arrest for assault on a police officer and attempted murder of Officer Janko. You have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you" Jamie started before shoving the cuffed nurse to Danny.

"Eddie" Jamie said quickly walking over to her bed.

He looked her over and check her monitors and everything seemed to be fine but Jamie was still scared to go near her.

Eddie's shaking right hand was trying to close the snaps on her left shoulder that the nurse had pulled down.

"I got it" Jamie said gently, he placed a light kiss on her shoulder before he closed the snaps.

"I tried, I couldn't, I didn't" Eddie said panting

"You did give her a good hook to the face" Jamie said

"Yea, she had her hands around my throat and my left arm wouldn't move so I had to fight her with just my right" Eddie said

"I told you that you kick ass" Jamie said giving her a hug, Eddie just tightly wrapped her right arm around Jamie's waist

Jamie pulled back and looked over Eddie again.

"Are you ok? She hurt anything?" Jamie asked lightly rubbing the pad of his thumb over the red marks on Eddie's neck

"No, I'm ok" Eddie said quietly

"Can I sit?" Jamie asked, not want to startle her

"Yea" Eddie said

He took his duty belt off again and climbed on the bed.

"Damn" Jamie said as he pulled Eddie closer to him, careful of her injuries

"What a day" Jamie added

"Yea" Eddie said eyes tearing up

"I love you Eddie" Jamie said kissing the top of her head

"I love you too" Eddie said leaning further into Jamie

"Since they won't let me out of here tonight, do you think you could stay?" Eddie asked

"I'm not going anywhere babe" Jamie said giving her a small smile

"I'm all yours" he added, kissing her

Jamie was laying in Eddie's hospital bed and she had dozed off when there was a knock on her hospital room door

"Yea" Jamie said loud enough that they could hear but hopefully not to wake Eddie

"It's us Jamie" Danny said

"Hey guys" Jamie said as the whole family walked in

"How is she?" Danny asked

"Exhausted" Jamie said looking down at her sleeping form

"Is she alright?" Erin asked

"Yea I think so, she had some hand prints around her neck from being chocked but Eddie fought her off and then we came in" Jamie said

"God" Danny said

"Yea it's been a rough day for her" Jamie said

"You talk about Dunleevy yet?" Danny asked quietly

"Not really, just that she knew he didn't make it. I think she's still in shock"

"It hit you yet kid?" Danny asked

"I'm fine" Jamie said

"Not what I asked" Danny

"Ok let's not start a pissing contest now you two" Erin said "Is she able to go home tonight?"

"No she has to stay and she asked me to stay so obviously I'm not going anywhere" Jamie said

"Do you need me to go to your place and get some stuff?" Erin asked

"Yea thanks Er, that would be great" Jamie said

"Ok, I'll go in a little and then bring you guys an early dinner"

"Danny did you see Casey?" Jamie asked

"No I didn't have the chance"

"God Danny do I have to do everything" Jamie said louder than a whisper, he felt Eddie stir next to him and calmed himself down

"Jamie" Erin said

"I'm only one person Danny, how do I take care of my wife and my partner. I asked you to do one thing. You've known Casey since he was born Danny, you couldn't do that for me"

"Jamie you're gonna wake her" Erin said

"Well then tell Danny to just help me out for once, now I have to leave Eddie and go check on him" Jamie said getting up

"Can you stay here or is that too much trouble?" Jamie asked his siblings

"We will stay until you come back ok?" Erin asked

"Kid you sure you're ok?" Danny asked

"Sure Danny my wife got shot in front of my own two eyes and we lost a friend, everything's totally fine, especially when you can't do one simple task" Jamie said walking out of Eddie's room.

"I don't think he's ok" Danny said

"Really?" Erin said sarcastically "Why didn't you go check on Casey like he asked?"

"He asked me right before we heard Eddie screaming and then I had to wait for Baiez to come get her, and then I was just waiting to see them"

"Cut him some slack Danny, they had never been shot together as partners. Now they have to figure out where to go from here as a couple, not as partners"

"Sure Erin. It's not like one of us gets shot everyday" Danny said

"I know you now feel the need to be macho and protect Eddie too, but right now you just need to be their brother" Erin said

* * *

"Hey Case" Jamie said walking over to his younger partner

"How's Eddie? I didn't want to come up and then I heard about the nurse and I didn't want to intrude"

"You could've come up, she would've been glad to see you"

"I wasn't sure I could see her"

"Why?" Jamie asked sitting down next to him

"Cause Dunleevy died"

"Casey that's not your fault" Jamie said turning to face his partner

"I couldn't save him"

"it's the worst part of this job" Jamie said

"I couldn't stop the bleeding, if I had done something different" Casey said

"Casey he took a bullet at point blank range to the stomach, below the vest. You did everything you could to save him"

"It wasn't enough" Casey said looking down at his hands

"Sometimes we do everything we can and it's not enough. You remember Vinny right?"

"Yea you let me hangout with you guys a few times"

"I couldn't save him, why did the bullet hit my vest but hit him in the neck? I carried a lot of guilt around for a long time, I questioned why I became a cop, questioned my judgment, my faith" Jamie said "But then I got a brank new partner right out of the academy that needed someone to train them, to teach them, to guide them and God knows Vinny would have asked her out before she could have introduced herself" Jamie said giving a small smile

"Eddie?"

"Yea it was Eddie that pulled me out of it. She saw her first cop die her first night on the job, it ended with her throwing up in the park trashcan. You handled it better than her" Jamie said

"So you lost your partner and got a wife"

"Well yes, you're gonna be angry for a while, it's not an easy thing to process" Jamie said "I'm sorry I didn't check on you earlier"

"It's ok, Eddie got shot. I understand"

"Yea but your my partner. I should've had your back when we got here"

"I understand, if it was a choice between a hypothetical wife I had and you I'd pick my hypothetical wife" Casey said smiling

"I am sorry. You wanna come hang out with Eddie and I. They are keeping her tonight so my sister is going to get us some stuff from the house and dinner if you want some"

"Maybe, I'll come see her though" Casey said

They both got up and before they started to walk Jamie turned to Casey.

"You did good today Case, even if I didn't tell you earlier. You kept a level head and did what needed to be done. It's ok to be upset with the outcome" Jamie said

"Thanks Jamie" Casey said

* * *

"No stop, you can't die, get off me, stop" Eddie yelled and thrashed in her sleep. Danny and Erin quickly walked over to her bed and tired to wake her up.

"Eddie, it's Erin. You're safe" Erin said putting a hand on her shoulder

"Eddie" Danny said

"NO, STOP" Eddie yelled louder

"Eddie, wake up. It's Erin, you're in the hospital" Erin said as she and Danny were shaking her

"Eddie" Danny yelled, Erin shot him a look, but Eddie woke up

"No they killed him" Eddie said looking around and started crying

"Andrew?" Danny asked which earned him another look from Erin telling him to check his bedside manner

"Jamie, he's dead. He was shot. I saw it" She said crying

"No, no, Eddie. Jamie's fine" Erin said gently

"Where is he?" Eddie asked

"He went to check on Casey while you were sleeping. He should be back soon. Do you want me to call him?" Erin asked

"I'll go find him" Danny said

Erin said on the edge of Eddie's bed and gave her a hug. Eddie was obviously younger than her, but being upset and in the hospital bed Erin realize that Eddie was barely 30.

"Jamie's fine, ok" Erin said

* * *

"Jamie" Danny yelled down the hall which earned him looks from the nurse and doctors.

"What Danny?" Jamie asked jogging to Danny

"Eddie was having nightmares, she thought you were dead" Danny said

Jamie took off running to Eddie's room and Casey and Danny were right behind him.

"Eddie" Jamie said running in

He went over to the side Erin was sitting on gently rubbing Eddie's back. He took a moment to acknowledge the fact that his siblings were taking care of Eddie just like they would if it were him.

"Hey babe, what happened?" Jamie asked

"You're not dead" Eddie said tearing up and reaching her good arm out to him. Erin got up so Jamie could sit next to her.

"No, I'm not. I'm right here" Jamie said hugging her tightly

"I had a dream and you, they, you were shot and then died"

"I'm right here Eds, I'm not going anywhere" Jamie said kissing her head "I just went to see Casey. I hadn't checked on him since we got here and he was pretty shaken up" Jamie said

"That's ok" Eddie said

"He came up with me. He wanted to see you" Jamie said

"Ok" Eddie said nodding

"Hey Eddie" Casey said walking over and giving her a hug

"Hey Casey"

"I'm sorry about Andrew" Casey said looking away from her

Eddie didn't say anything, she couldn't even mention his name let alone talk about the fact that he was dead.

"How ya feeling?" Casey asked sitting in the chair

"Sore, they really need to pad these vests too" Eddie said, attempting a lame joke

"You guys need anything?" Casey asked

"No I think were good, thanks Casey" Eddie said

"If you do just let me know, anything, anytime" Casey said

"Case you ok?" Eddie asked

"Yea I think so" He said

"Cause I don't think any of us are"

"Maybe not as much as I'm letting on"

"Could you do something for me?" Eddie asked

"Sure of course"

"Andrew and Melissa's oldest has a basketball game tonight and I think a bunch of the guys are gonna go and support her, Mel thinks she should play so Miller is trying to get everyone there and since they won't let me out could you go?"

"Of course, I was gonna go anyway. Most of the 12th is going"

"See, we should be there" Eddie said to Jamie

"You need to be in a hospital bed" Jamie said

"I'm fine, it's not like I'm dead" Eddie said

Casey just looked and Jamie and he nodded and Casey knew it was time for him to go.

"Eddie" Jamie said slightly chastising her

"I'm gonna head out, I have to go back to the precinct and get rid of the car and stuff before the game. But like I said if you guys need anything just let me know" Casey said giving Eddie another hug

"Thanks Casey" Eddie said

Once Casey had left Jamie turned to look at her.

"You can't feel guilty that you lived and he didn't"

"I don't wanna talk about it" Eddie said

"Eddie you"

"No, I don't want to talk about it Jamie. Please" Eddie said tightly

"Ok, ok" Jamie said holding his hands up in defense

* * *

Later that night Erin had already brought them dinner and clothes and Jamie changed and was sitting in the chair next to Eddie's bed.

"If you're in pain, take the damn medicine Eddie" Jamie said exasperatedly

"No I'm fine" Eddie said

"You've said the word fine so many time today that it has lost all meaning"

"Fucking dandy" Eddie said shooting him a look

It took all of his willpower to not laugh but he lost out and started laughing

"I love you" Jamie said

"I love you too" Eddie said back

"You getting tired? Cause I'm exhausted" Jamie said yawning

"Yea, it's been a long day. I just want to sleep in my own bed" Eddie said

"Tomorrow you will. You'll be spending enough time there soon enough"

"I'm"

"Fine?" Jamie asked finishing for her

"Whatever" Eddie said

"Ed come on don't fight this. You were shot, you got hurt, please accept that and take the time to rest"

Eddie just shot him a look.

"Do you want me to cuff you to the bed? I will" Jamie said

"Huh didn't know you were into that Reagan" Eddie said, her mood lightening

Jamie just rolled his eyes and got up from the chair.

"Come on let's go to bed" Jamie said walking over to her sling slid of the bed and fixing the covers around her.

"Sleep in the bed with me?" Eddie asked

"I can do that" Jamie said

He pulled the blanket up to her shoulder and fixed the pillow that had it propped up and went back to the other side and slipped his sneakers off and laid on his side so Eddie would have more room.

"Thank you" Eddie said cuddling into his chest and trying to roll onto her right side, but it still caused too much pain.

"Anytime. I'm glad you're ok. When I saw you go down" Jamie said before stopping

"What?" Eddie asked gently

"Never mind" Jamie said

"No Jamie what?" Eddie said

"Don't worry about it" Jamie said kissing her

"You sure?" Eddie asked

"Yea, just go to sleep" Jamie said wrapping his arm around her. She linked her fingers with his and tried to fall asleep.

Jamie felt like he's been asleep for hours but when he looked at his watch it hadn't even been an hour. He looked over at Eddie and it seemed like she was sleeping which was a good thing. He laid there wondering what he was supposed to do to help her, he knew she was in shock the whole day, her anger started to take over later in the day. He didn't know how he could have any type of conversation of Eddie getting shot without getting emotional. He was level headed on and off the job but somehow the Eddie getting shot had shaken everything up.

"No, no. Stop" Eddie yelled thrashing around

"Eddie" Jamie said shaking her sleeping from

Eddie was still moving around so Jamie did the only thing he could think of to get her to wake up, he kissed her right on the lips and was shaking her uninjured shoulder.

"Jamie?" Eddie asked groggily

"Yea, you were having a nightmare. I'm sorry to wake you"

"Thanks" Eddie said moving closer to Jamie

"You wanna talk about it?" Jamie asked

"Not really" Eddie said

"Did I get shot again ?" Jamie asked

"And Dunleevy" Eddie said

"I'm sorry babe" Jamie said

"Do you need more space or anything?" Jamie asked her

"I need you" Eddie said

Jamie didn't say anything he just tightened his arm around her without being too tight that it would hurt her.

"What were you doing up?" Eddie asked

"I just woke up, unfamiliar setting I guess" Jamie said

"You look tired too" Eddie said

"It was a stressful day" Jamie said

"I just can't believe it" Eddie said

"I know" Jamie said

"Try and go back to sleep ok" Jamie said running his fingers through Eddie's hair

"Feels nice"

"It's not making your headache worse?" Jamie asked not wanting to hurt her

"No, better" Eddie said, eyes fluttering shut

Eddie fell back asleep and Jamie eventually fell asleep but woke up a few hours later. He needed to move off his shoulder but he couldn't roll without waking Eddie so he got himself out of the bed and carried the chair over to the bed and put his feet up on it and took Eddie's hand so she would know that he was there.

* * *

It was finally morning after what Jamie and Eddie thought was the worst night sleep either one of them have had but they were woken up by the doctors doing rounds. The doc told them that they would be back after rounds to discharge Eddie so she should get herself ready.

She was trying to get out of bed on her own but winced the whole time.

"Will you wait two seconds for me to come help you" Jamie said groaning

"I can do it" Eddie said

Jamie just gave her a look and she sat back down.

"Happy?" Eddie asked

"Thrilled" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"You doing ok?" Jamie asked walking over to her. She had a few more nightmares through the night and Jamie knew she didn't sleep much and looked like hell.

"I don't want to talk about it" Eddie said

"Ok, let's get you changed and home" Jamie said

"Ok" Eddie said trying to pick up the bag Erin had dropped off but winced and stopped mid bend.

"Come on Eddie, just let me help you" Jamie said helping her stand up and then picking up the bag and putting in on the bed.

"I'm not gorked Jamie, I can still do stuff for myself" Eddie said

"I know that" Jamie said

"Would you like any help getting dressed?" Jamie asked her

"No" Eddie said agitated

"Want me to wait outside?" Jamie asked

"No"

"Ok" Jamie said smirking

He was watching Eddie closely to make sure she didn't need any help. He was tying his sneakers when Eddie moaned.

"Ed?"

"I, I can't get my other sleeve" Eddie said

She had on a comfy pair of leggings and a cami and was trying to get into her flannel button up.

"Don't you dare say anything" Eddie said as Jamie walked over to her

"I'm your husband Eddie, you're supposed to let me help you" Jamie said helping her with the shirt. He figured it would be easier to leave her slinged arm out of it so he just buttoned it enough so it wouldn't fall off.

"That ok?" Jamie asked

"Yea, thanks"

"Shoes?" Jamie asked

"Yea" Eddie said nodding

Jamie slid the Uggs onto her feet and helped her stand up.

"Anything else?" Jamie asked

"Hair"

"Don't shoot me for how it looks" Jamie said picking up her brush

"I don't think you can do much worse than it coming out of its messy bun. Just put it in a ponytail"

Jamie brushed it and put it up. Even though they had been married a month this still seemed like a big step to him, he had played with her hair before because he knew she loved it but actually fixing her hair made the fact that she got hurt and they were married all the more real. He paused midway as he was the wrapping the hair tie around it.

"Jamie?" Eddie asked noticing he stopped

"What, yea sorry? It's not too tight is it?" Jamie asked not wanting to make her headache worse

"No its good" Eddie said

I think it's cold out and Erin didn't bring up jackets so I'm just zip you into my duty jacket, I don't want you getting cold.

"I'm not sick Jamie"

"Please, Janko, for me?" Jamie asked

"Fine" Eddie said

"But now you're gonna be cold" Eddie said sarcastically

"I'll be fine" Jamie said pulling his sweatshirt on over his head.

"Come on Officer Janko, let's get out of here" Eddie said

"Wait how are we getting home?" Eddie asked

"Danny. Then we'll drop you off and go get my car. We can get yours another day. You can't drive right now anyway" Jamie said

"Ok" Eddie said

"Alright get your butt into the wheelchair" Jamie said

"I can walk"

"You really want to listen to Linda lecture you on protocol?" Jamie said

"Fine" Eddie said sitting down

Jamie got their bag and shoved their uniforms in it and gently placed their belts on Eddie's lap. He moved to the chair in front of Eddie to pick up their vests. He hooked his on his arm and reached for Eddie's when he saw the bullet hole. Eddie saw why he stopped and gasped.

"Eddie" Jamie whispered so quietly that Eddie barely heard him as he swiped his thumb over the hole.

"Jamie?" Eddie asked realizing what he was looking at

"Sorry Eddie. Ready?" Jamie asked composing himself

"Thanks for staying last night" Eddie said quietly

"Of course babe" Jamie said leaning down to kiss her "Let's get you home"

Jamie wheeled Eddie down to the lobby where Danny was waiting for them.

"Hey Danny" Jamie said

"Hey you two, Eddie how are you feeling?" Danny asked standing in the lobby

"I'm ok" Eddie said wincing

"Oh wait, I forgot the doc gave you these" Jamie said pulling out oversized plastic, black sunglasses.

"Oh gross" Eddie said

"Come on just put them on, you'll still be hot" Jamie said handing them to Eddie

Eddie just looked at them in her hand.

"It's just for the concussion when you go outside for the next few days" Jamie said

"The could have at least gotten something out of vogue" Eddie said putting them on

"You look beautiful" Jamie said kissing her

"I'm gonna puke" Danny said taking the bag from Jamie

They walked out to Danny's car and Jamie locked the wheel chair and put out a hand to help Eddie up.

"I can get up" Eddie said waiving her hand

"Uh-huh" Jamie said laughing and he watched her try and get up.

Eddie got up halfway and looked at Jamie. He hooked one arm around her waist and got her upright.

"Why does moving hurt?"

"Cause you took a bullet to the vest and fell down some stairs" Danny said

Jamie just shot Danny a look.

"Come on, in the car Ed" Jamie said walking her to the front seat.

Once Jamie got her in the car and buckled he got into the back and Danny took the chair back in.

"You ok up there?" Jamie asked

"Yea I think so" Eddie said

"Alright we all set?" Danny asked getting in

"Danny you think I should drive she'd be less likely to break another rib" Jamie said

"My driving is fine" Danny said

"Yea" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"I remember a time when you begged me to drive you around" Danny said pulling away

"I was 14, what the hell did I know?" Jamie said laughing

"You doing ok Eddie?" Danny asked looking over at her

"Yea, the sun and movement is making me a little queasy"

"You need me to pull over?" Danny asked

"No, it's ok" Eddie said

"Maybe unzip the jacket Danny, or make it colder" Jamie said

"Maybe not hover as much" Danny said, but did as Jamie told him since they were at a red light

"Better?" Danny asked her

"Yea thanks" Eddie said leaning back

"If you're gonna puke at least give me enough warning to pull over" Danny said

"I'll try" Eddie said closing her eyes

"Is there anyway we can get the car later? I don't want to leave her by herself" Jamie said

"I have tour tonight, I have to sleep before" Danny said

"Alight I can take the train or call Spence" Jamie said

"I can get her medicine though" Danny said

"Thanks" Jamie said as Danny pulled into their driveway

Jamie unbuckled and leaned forward "Hey, Eddie wake up we're home" Jamie said

"Home" Eddie said

"Yea, we're home" Jamie said getting out and opening Eddie's door.

Eddie slid out of the car and leaned on Jamie as they walked into the house, he kept all the lights off and plopped her onto the couch.

"You still feel nauseous?" Jamie asked

"A little" Eddie said

Jamie went and got her a trashcan, blanket and water and set everything down on the coffee table.

"You gonna go get your car now?" Eddie asked

"No I'll get Spence or someone to take me later, I don't want to leave you alone. Danny's gonna get your meds" Jamie said

"Alright here's your stuff, I'll be right back with her meds" Danny said walking in

"No just take him to get his car. I'll be fine" Eddie said

"Are you sure?" Jamie asked

"I don't plan on moving off this couch other than for a shower" Eddie said

"Wait till I come back" Jamie said

"I can shower on my own, I've been doing it for years" Eddie said

"Yea but not with a concussion. You already said you felt nauseous, you've been lightheaded off and on, You also can't move so good"

"Fine I'll wait till my babysitter comes home" Eddie said rolling her eyes

"Thank you" Jamie said

"I won't move off this couch without permission" Eddie said "But if I pee my pants that's on you"

"You wanna go before I leave?" Jamie asked

"Sure" Eddie said

"Alright sit up, get your balance and then I'll help you stand" Jamie said helping her sit up

"You gonna pee for me too?" Eddie asked

"I'm just trying to help you" Jamie said

"I can do things for myself"

"I've had a concussion and broken ribs before" Jamie said

"I know that and I didn't smother you" Eddie said

"You weren't my wife"

"I'm also not annoying" Eddie said

"Alight, alright" Jamie said "Let's get you to the bathroom and back to the couch"

"You always flatter girls like that?" Eddie said as they walked to the bathroom

"Oh yea" Jamie said laughing

"You gonna pull my pants down and place me on the toilet too?" Eddie said

"If you needed me too I would" Jamie said as Eddie closed the door

"Of course you would" Eddie said

A few minutes later the door opened and Eddie walked out.

"See still potty trained all on my own" Eddie said

"Let's just get you back to the couch" Jamie said

"Alright you need anything before I go?" Jamie asked

"No I'm fine" Eddie said taking the giant sunglasses off

"Alright no reading and no TV" Jamie said

"I know. Just go" Eddie said

"Ok, I be back soon. If you need me just call ok"

"Got it, go" Eddie said

* * *

"Kid you trying to piss your wife off?" Danny asked as they were driving to the precinct

"What do you mean?"

"You're treating her like an infant not an NYPD cop"

"Well she got hurt" Jamie said

"Yes, and you are acting like she's made of glass"

"I think she's still in shock, her friend was killed in front of her" Jamie said getting annoyed

"Kid this is first time one of you has gotten seriously hurt since you've been together, especially married. It's different"

"It's not different" Jamie said

"You really would have walked her to the bathroom and waited outside the door if you guys were just partners?" Danny asked

"If she needed me to, yea. But we're married. I'm supposed to protect her Danny"

"No that's her partner's job on duty"

"Whatever" Jamie said

"Are you doing ok Jamie?" Danny asked

"I'm not the one that took a bullet" Jamie said

"No, but your wife did. You saw your wife take a bullet Jamie, you're allowed to be shaken up"

"No one would be having this conversation with you" Jamie said

"That's not true" Danny said

"Whatever Danny"

"I'm just saying that it's ok for you to be shaken up too" Danny said

"I'm fine" Jamie said grateful that they were close to the precinct

Danny pulled into the driveway on the 12th where Jamie had parked.

"Thanks for the ride" Jamie said

"Jamie, just think about what I said. Reach out if you need it, ok? That's all I'm trying to tell you" Danny said

"Thanks" Jamie said

* * *

"Hey I'm back" Jamie called as he walked into the door

"Hey"

"How you feeling?" Jamie asked

"I'm ok. My stomach settled while you were gone"

"That's good" He said leaning down to kiss her

"I see you put the glasses back on" Jamie said

"They helped" Eddie said

"Of course they did" Jamie said smirking

"Can I shower now?" Eddie asked

"You wanna talk first?" Jamie asked

"No"

"Eddie come on, you have barely said anything about everything that happened" Jamie said

"I don't want to talk about it" Eddie said

"Eddie you can't keep it all in" Jamie said

"Stop, Jamie. Please. I just want to get a shower"

"Alright" Jamie said

"And let me guess, you're gonna sit in the bathroom while I shower" Eddie asked getting up

"I, uh, well"

"Typical" Eddie said

"I just want to make sure you're ok" Jamie said gently

Eddie got to the stairs and Jamie was behind her with one hand on her back.

Eddie made it only a few before she was wheezing.

"Damn it"

"Eddie?"

"Just let me catch my breath. I have a bruised lung you know" Eddie said still wheezing

"Ok. You want me to carry you?" Jamie asked

"Fine" Eddie said

Jamie picked her up careful of her shoulder and ribs and carried her up the stairs to their bathroom.

"Alright is everything in the bathroom you need?" Jamie asked

"It should be" Eddie said unbuttoning her shirt

"Do you really not want me to stay in here?" Jamie asked

"No it's fine" Eddie said

"You need help getting your clothes off?" Jamie asked

"You wish"

"Eddie, I didn't mean it like that"

"I know"

Jamie helped her and she stepped into the shower.

She was trying to wash her hair but wasn't used to doing it with one had.

"Jamie" Eddie said

He set his phone on the floor and was at the shower curtain within a second.

"Eddie, what's wrong?" Jamie asked

"Can you wash my hair?" Eddie asked

"Of course"

"Jamie" Eddie said wobbling

"Whoa Ed" Jamie said grabbing her so she didn't fall.

"Ow"

"I'm sorry. Sit down ok?"

"Yea" Eddie said trying to sit down

"I got you all wet" Eddie said

"It's ok" Jamie said looking down at his t-shirt "I'd do anything for you. Shampoo"

Eddie handed him the shampoo and was washing it into her hair when she leaned back against him.

"You trying to soak me?" Jamie asked laughing

"No, sorry"

"You ok?" Jamie asked

"Little lightheaded" Eddie said

"Ok, hold on" Jamie said he opened the window and turned the light off

"Hopefully that will help. Let me help you shower so you can lay down again ok?" Jamie asked

"kay" Eddie said closing her eyes

Jamie grabbed the overhead and rinsed her hair and then put the conditioner in and finished washing where she couldn't reach.

"Babe, I'm gonna stand you up and rise you off ok?" Jamie said

"Yea" Eddie said

Jamie tried standing her up and Eddie wobbled a little into Jamie.

"Easy, easy" Jamie said steadying her

"I hate this" Eddie said

"I know" He said kissing her shoulder

"Let's get you rinsed off" Jamie said

He finished rinsing her hair and turned the water off without ever letting go of Eddie, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her.

"Better?" Jamie asked as she got out of the shower

"Maybe I did need help" Eddie said leaning into him as they walked to the bedroom

"Ok sit down, let me get you some clothes" Jamie said

He took his shirt and Jeans off and placed them back in the bathroom so he didn't get the carpet wet.

"Alright I just got you a tanktop, sweats and a zip-up. I didn't know what would be easiest"

"Just get me some underwear, I'll skip a bra, I 'm not going anywhere" Eddie said

"I think the pain meds you brought home are hitting me" Eddie said yawning as Jamie helped her dress.

"That's a good thing" Jamie said as he zipped the jacket

He towel dried her hair and started brushing it

"You just want it down? I mean I think a ponytail is all I'm capable of" Jamie said

"Can you try a loose braid?" Eddie asked

Jamie just shot her a look and but tried anyway.

"That's good enough" Eddie said laughing and she felt it with her right hand.

"Alright, I'm gonna go shower and then I'll make us some lunch. Do you want me to wake you or do you want to just sleep"

"Sleep" Eddie said as Jamie helped her lay down

"Ok. I placed a trashcan next to you too, just in case" Jamie said

"Will you lay with me? Please?" Eddie asked

"I gotta shower first ok. You soaked my clothes"

"Yea" Eddie said starting to fall asleep.

Jamie pulled the blanket up around her and kissed her head and when he went to pull back he felt Eddie grab onto his bare skin.

"Ed?" Jamie asked

"Please don't leave me" Eddie said, feeling like she was about to cry.

"5 minutes Eddie, that's all. I promise I'll be right back ok. Don't cry babe, it won't make your head any better" Jamie said

"Ok"

Jamie went and got into the shower and started thinking about how close he was to losing Eddie, and about what Danny said might have some truth to it.

"Eddie I'm back" Jamie said laying down next to her.

"Jamie" Eddie said

"Yea, I'm here" Jamie said

"Jamie, Andrews dead" Eddie said starting to cry

Jamie just sat up and moved so she was laying in between his legs with her head leaning on his chest.

"I, I lied when I said I didn't want to, to talk about it. I don't think, think that I can" Eddie said starting to cry

"It's ok, take all the time you need sweetheart" Jamie said kissing her head

* * *

Don't forget to leave reviews! Don't worry, I'll bring some action back in it shortly!


	4. Chapter 4

I hope everyone is enjoying it so far!

I was surprised they didn't go more in depth into how Eddie felt after getting shot. I find it hard to believe that anyone would just be totally ok, and I was surprised that she kept blowing off Jamie, so I wanted to incorporate some of that into my story. Don't forget if you haven't read Partners and Friends and Partners and Weddings to check them out as well. Partners and Flashbacks chapter 2 will be helpful for this chapter.

Full disclosure, I good cops in my family and I understand that there are bad ones, but I don't think every single one should all be lumped together. I am probably slightly biased in favor of the blue. I understand that there are problems but cops do not get enough credit for putting their lives on the line everyday. If you do not agree I am open to hearing all opinions, but hate and anger are not welcomed as it is not a productive use of any of our time.

* * *

"Hey come on, talk to me, Eddie" Jamie said

"It just hurts" Eddie said still laying in between in legs

"Do you want more medicine?"

"No just everything hurts" Eddie said still crying

Jamie knew it was more about Andrew than anything else.

"Jamie, I didn't even see the gun, we went up the stairs the next thing I knew he opened fire"

"There was never any indication he had one, Eddie. It's not your fault"

"But it is" Eddie said crying

"God, Eddie it's not"

"Why him and not me?" Eddie asked

Jamie felt the weight of this question, it was one he had asked himself a million times after Vinny was killed.

"I don't know" Jamie said thanking God it wasn't his Eddie "I don't know" he said quieter

"I was with him, if I had done something differently or been a head of him, or..."

"Ed you know the what-ifs will eat you alive. You did everything you were trained to do, when you guys were running you had your guns out. You weren't planning on shooting him, he clearly was planning on shooting someone. The detectives told me that ballistics popped and they tied the gun to two other homicides"

"I've been replaying it over and over and over and I can't think of what else I could have done to prevent Dunleevy and I from getting shot" Eddie said

"There wasn't, aside from just shooting him first and asking questions late. Which is highly frowned upon" Jamie said

"It's not fair" Eddie said

"It's not" Jamie said holding her tight

He could tell Eddie was uncomfortable so he let go so she could shift herself around until she was sitting up next to him with her good shoulder leaning on him.

"He didn't deserve it"

"And neither did you" Jamie said

"He was genuinely one of the good ones, just an overall good person and then this happens. I don't understand it" Eddie said

"There's not really a way to rationalize it, to make it make sense. It doesn't exist"

"I know it's not what you want to hear but it does get easier with time" Jamie said "Trust me on that"

"I feel like I don't know who I am" Eddie said

"You went through a traumatic experience, that's to be expected. I'm sure you got some PTSD going on"

"I just want to go back and change it, you know. Do something differently"

"I know" Jamie said nodding

"I miss him already. I mean a month ago he was dancing with Melissa at our wedding, totally loving the fact he was embarrassing his kids" Eddie said sadly

"I think all we can do is hold onto that" Jamie said

He still had both arms protectively wrapped around her.

"Did you see her yesterday?" Eddie asked

"No I stayed mostly with you and only left to check on Casey. I couldn't leave you Ed" Jamie said, his voice betraying him

"Jamie I could've died yesterday" Eddie said tearing up again

"I know" Jamie said feeling his emotions take over

"Promise me two things Jamie?" Eddie asked

"Anything"

"Come home unhurt every day" Eddie said crying again

"You know I'll do everything I can" Jamie said kissing her

"And if, if something were to happen to me, don't let it eat at you. I want you to be happy, always. As happy as you were in Hawaii"

"Ed, don't"

"Jamie please" Eddie said

Jamie could tell she was desperately trying to make sure everything was in order.

"I promise you that I would try, but God Janko, you ruined me for life" He said kissing her again

"Jamie, I love you" Eddie said crying into his shoulder

"I love you too, Eddie" Jamie said feeling a few tears slip out.

Jamie had originally thought that Eddie getting shot freaked him out more but she was just as scared as him. Jamie sat against the headboard with Eddie securely at his side with his chin resting on the top of her head.

"We're ok babe, we're ok" Jamie said trying to comfort her as she kept crying. The doctor had told him that drastic mood changed could be expected based on the trauma but Jamie knew he needed to get her to calm down or her headache would come back with a vengeance.

"I got you Ed, just let it all out and then you can rest" Jamie said

"Jamie, I, I, don't know if I will get through this" Eddie said

"You will, you have me and the rest of the family and our friends. You helped me get through Vinny's death without even knowing it, I promise I'm here for you every step of the way" Jamie said

"How did you?" Eddie asked

"It took some time, but you're gonna be angry and that's the hardest part to overcome. Linda said we all needed a vacation so we went to her sister's place on the beach and just spending time with the family helped"

"Jamie" Eddie said nervously looking up at him

"Yea"

"I don't know if I want to be a cop any more" Eddie said looking away from him "Will you still love me?" Eddie asked

"Of course Eddie, you should know that" Jamie said, shocked at what Eddie just told him "I don't think you need to make any rash decisions right now. You know get through the day and then the night and then the week. Don't make big life changes 24 hours after you were shot. You're not thinking in clearly right now, it's to be expected. But if with time, you decide you want to turn in your papers I'll support you 100%, but I think it would be a shame. You're a great cop Eddie. The department is lucky to have you" Jamie said

"It's something that I thought of in the middle of the night when I woke up after I was shot in front of you"

"Oh Eddie" Jamie said hugging her again "Just promise me no big decisions, and you'll at least talk to me first"

"I can do that" Eddie said nodding, hugging him back

"You feel a little better?" Jamie asked her

"A little" Eddie said hugging

"Hey Ed"

"Yea"

"Don't ever do that to me again, ok lambchop?"

"I promise"

"God help me but when I realized it wasn't your blood I don't think I've ever been more relieved in my entire life, as terrible as that sounds" Jamie said

"I'm glad I came home to you too. Jamie you mean the world to me"

"I love you Eds" Jamie said helping her lay back down

"You rest, I think you need it. I'll bring the ice pack up for your ribs although I'm not sure it will do much good"

He climbed out of bed and went downstairs and heard his cell phone ringing.

"Reagan" He said not even bothering to look before swiping

"Where the hell have you two been? I've been calling you for hours" Erin yelled in to the phone

"Erin?" Jamie asked

"You have another worried sister I don't know about?" Erin said

"Sorry Er, Danny dropped us off and then took me to get my car and Eddie's meds and then I helped her shower and got her into bed, then I just laid with her and we walked about some of what happened"

"Well one of you was shot yesterday it would be nice to update us everyone once in a while" Erin said

"I'm sorry Erin" Jamie said laughing

"It's not funny"

"Ok, ok. I didn't even think about our phones until I came down to get Eddie some food and an ice pack"

"How is she?"

"She's ok, she's got some survivors guilt but she's hanging in there" Jamie said getting the packs out of the freezer and making them some sandwiches

"Do you guys need anything?" Erin asked

"No I think we're good. Eddie had gone food shopping the day before she got shot so we have a full kitchen. I appreciate it though" Jamie said

"You guys gonna come to church and dinner tomorrow?" Jamie asked

"I don't think she would be able to do both, church might be a little much with the singing and the lights. I had to turn the lights off when she was showering cause they were too bright on the concussion. Maybe a little for dinner. There couldn't be any fighting though" Jamie said

"But it will be so boring then" Erin teased

"Alright let me get this food to Eddie, she needs to eat something" Jamie said

"Jamie before you hang up, are you doing ok?" Erin asked

"I'm ok. Thankful but ok" Jamie said

"Ok, if you two need anything call me"

"You sound like mom. Bye Erin" Jamie said hanging up

He grabbed Eddie's phone out of the bag and took their food and ice up stairs to Eddie.

"Hey sorry, Erin called me freaking out cause she hadn't heard from us"

"Oh yea, I guess we probably should have updated everyone" Eddie said

"You're phone blew up, I didn't know you knew that many people" Jamie said "I also think you need to call your mom"

"I already have a headache"

"She's your mom Eddie"

"I can try and reach out to the prison see if they will let you talk to your dad" Jamie said

"I'd rather talk to him"

"I meant talk to both of them" Jamie said "I texted our friends, Hal and Kara obviously want to come see you. Spence said if you get tired of being with me if he'll come over and hang out in case you need to move around, and 'tell Officer Eddie she's pretty badass'" Jamie said reading from his phone

"Tell Spencer I may just take him up on that" Eddie said offering him a small smile

"Hold on Sarge is calling me" Jamie said walking out of their room

"Hey Sarge what's up" Jamie asked

"How's Janko?"

"She's as good as you would except"

"And you"

"I'm ok, Sarge what's wrong?"

"Have you seen the news?"

"Um, no. Why?" Jamie asked

"Well I wouldn't recommend watching it. Public Advocate Dutton is calling for a full investigation into if Dunleevy and Janko had made him feel threatened" Renzulli scoffed

"You've got to be fucking kidding me Sarge" Jamie said "Sorry"

"My exact words Reagan"

"How could she possibly think that, he drew first, fired first. Call had no mention of a gun. Literally shot Andrew and Eddie in point blank range for no reason Sarge" Jamie yelled into the phone

"I know Reagan, I know. I think you need to tell Eddie. You know she's gonna see it eventually"

"Sarge I'm trying to convince her to call her mother, that job is hard enough"

"You two need anything?"

"No we're good, thanks though" Jamie said

"Alright kid let me know if Eddie's gonna go tell of Dutton, cause I'd like a crack at her too"

"I will, bye Sarge" Jamie said hanging up

"I also had texts from Jack Boyle checking on you, it apparently was an ADT hit to shoot a uniformed cop. He had to recuse himself. Joe's ex-girlfriend texted me too to see how you're doing. She really liked meeting you at the wedding" Jamie said

"You're phone's ringing" Jamie said handing it to her

"Janko" Eddie said

"Hey Eddie"

"Who is this?" Eddie asked

"It's me, Barry. I'm sorry about letting you go, but Eddie I saw you got shot on TV"

"Bar, Barry?" Eddie asked coughing

"Yea, so what do you say. Put that and your partner behind us and say we start over?" Barry asked

"Um actually I married Jamie"

"I knew you were cheating on me" Barry said

"No, never cheated on. Didn't start dating him till long after you were gone" Eddie said

"Oh"

"Lose my number Barry" Eddie said hanging up

"You still talk to your ex's" Jamie asked laughing

"No, I mean obviously he missed me though. Who wouldn't?" Eddie said

"I would" Jamie said "You know I think I like Josh the best"

"Here we go"

"See when I had to go on that double date that lasted 10 seconds we had the car to talk about but then he shriveled up when you whipped out your gun" Jamie said laughing

"Yea and some guys are so turned on by girls that can use a gun"

"I for one was glad you didn't have a penis" Jamie said kissing her

Jamie was still leaning over her kissing her when Eddie moaned in pain.

"Oh God, Ed I'm so sorry" Jamie said

"No, no. It was nice to forget about all of this for a little" Eddie said

"Here put these on" Jamie said putting the ice packs on her

"Here's some food" Jamie said putting the plate on here lap

"Thanks. What did Sarge want?" Eddie asked

"Oh, um. I don't think you need to worry about it now" Jamie said trying to stall

"Jamie come on, things can't get much worse than losing an officer" Eddie said sadly

"Alright, promise me to not get upset"

"Alright..." Eddie said worriedly

"Public Advocate Dutton is calling for a full investigation into if you and Dunleevy made him feel threatened and that's why he shot first"

"I'm sorry I don't think I heard you correctly" Eddie said stunned

"I'm sorry Eddie, she thinks that making you guys public enemy number one is the way to go"

"Let me get this straight he beat up his girlfriend, assaulted a police officer, ran and then shot first but he felt his life was threatened?!" Eddie said practically yelling

"You can't get worked up. I'm sorry Eds. We'll just keep the TV off and stay off social media"

"Yea because that's the answer" Eddie scoffed

"You know my dad will protect you both on this"

"Yea well tell Garrett I want to make a statement"

"They would need a half hour delay not a thirty second delay"

"This isn't funny Jamie" Eddie said

"I'm sorry" Jamie said

"It's not you, it's this whole shitty situation" Eddie said

"Why don't you try and get some rest?" Jamie suggested

"My head is killing me now"

"I'll get you a cold washcloth to put over your eyes and then hopefully it will help you sleep. I'll wake you in two hours to check your name and stuff"

"Please let me sleep" Eddie begged

"I have to, I'm sorry babe" Jamie said sadly

"Fine" Eddie said

Jamie made sure she was comfortable before he went downstairs to try and answer their friends that had been calling and texting them nonstop.

Jamie saw his dad's number pop up and knew that this wasn't going to be an easy conversation.

"Hey dad" Jamie said

"Hey how's Eddie?"

"As well as can be expected"

"Good. How are you?"

"Hanging in. Dad come on I know about Dutton"

"You do?" Frank asked surprised

"Renzulli called me, didn't want Eddie or I seeing it on TV"

"What all did he tell you?"

"Just that they are going to investigate since it's Eddie and Andrew's fault" Jamie said sarcastically

"I told her she should never have said that" Frank said

"Yea, well where are you and the Mayor on this?"

"Garrett is ironing out what I wrote, he said a few things were aggressive" Frank said

"Better be, it's your daughter-in-law"

"Why do you think Dutton is going after Eddie?" Frank asked

"Another great day to be a Reagan" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"IA already closed the investigation, there was surprisingly security videos all around. He clearly pushed Miller and then ran and then drew on them first and fired first"

"Eddie wants to make a statement"

"What did you tell her?"

"That a thirty second delay wouldn't be enough. She didn't find it funny"

"Let her cool off, if she still wants a statement I will let Garrett handle it"

"Do you guys want to come for dinner or want Pop and I to bring it?" Frank asked

"No it think we're good. Andrew's wife wants to come see Eddie, I didn't tell her yet"

"Is it anything bad?" Frank asked

"Oh no not at all. She wants to come see Eddie for herself since she didn't get to see her yesterday. Eddie was a little mad I wouldn't take her to see her but she was too worked up. Spence and Hayley want to come so does Kara so I don't know how much Eddie will be up for"

"I hope you guys come to church and dinner tomorrow"

"I think we might need to pass on church. The lights and singing I think would be too much with her concussion"

"At least join us for dinner. You don't miss family dinner"

"Well then we're probably gonna be eating in the dark" Jamie said

"That's fine. Pop and I just want you guys around. I know you tend to play it aloof when things like this happen"

"Dad I'm ok, just trying to take care of Eddie"

"This is the first test for you guys within your marriage"

"Dad we're fine. We talked earlier when we got home. We're ok, this isn't the first time one of us has been injured" Jamie said

"I know, I'm just making sure" Frank said

"Do you want to see what I wrote before Garrett schedules the press conference?"

"That's above my pay grade Commissioner" Jamie said smirking

"Alight. Bye son"

"Bye dad" Jamie said hanging up

* * *

Jamie had cleaned up a little and did some of the laundry they had been putting off when his phone alarm went off telling him to wake Eddie. He took the stairs two at a time and walked into their room.

"Hey Ed wake up" Jamie said climbing onto his side of the bed "Come on babe, just wake up for me" Jamie said kissing her

"I'm sleeping" Eddie mumbled

"I know, that's the problem" Jamie said smirking

Eddie took the washcloth off her face and opened one eye to look at Jamie.

"Eddie what's wrong with your eyes? Can you not open the other one?" Jamie asked, starting to panic

"My eyes are fine. You turned the light on you dummy"

"My bad Janko" Jamie said quickly going to turn it off

"Alright what's my name?" Jamie asked

"Pain in the ass" Eddie mumbled

"Ok" Jamie said laughing "Date?"

"I never know the date Reagan you know that. It's Saturday and we were married on October 12th and you worry too much" Eddie said

"Ok, ok. One more thing before you go back to sleep" Jamie said

"What" Eddie said

"You got a list of visitors waiting to see you" Jamie said

"Who?"

"Hayls and Spence, Kara and Melissa"

"Dunleevy?"

"Yea, she wants to come check on you for herself"

"Her husbands killed and she's worried about a few ribs" Eddie said getting agitated

"Hey babe, that's the survivors guilt talking"

"I know" Eddie said closing her eyes

"Spencer and Hayley wouldn't take no for an answer. They will be here shortly"

"Hayley worries too much too" Eddie said

"The people that love you and care about you are allowed to worry about you" Jamie said

"Yea well don't. I'm fine" Just then their door bell rang and Jamie went down to answer it.

"Hey Spence, Hayls" He said hugging Hayley "Aww Spence how sweet, you didn't need to bring me flowers" He said laughing

"You wish, they are for Officer Eddie not Sargent Jamie" Spencer said

"How are you two?" Hayley asked

"Hanging in. Eddie's a little agitated that people would ever consider worrying about her so don't take it personally" Jamie said

"We wanted to give you space yesterday but I had to see her today" She said

"I know she'll be glad once your here"

Jamie led them up to their room and warned them that Eddie was still in a decent about of pain but wouldn't admit it.

"Babe you awake?" Jamie asked

"Yea you work me" Eddie said

"Eddie" Hayley said running over to the bed

"Hey Hayl" Eddie said hugging her

"I'm glad you're ok" She said, voice shaking

"Officer Eddie, these are for you" Spencer said placing the flowers on the dresser and giving her a hug

"Thank you"

"Glad your ok. I'm not ready for Jamie to be living on my couch"

"I'm glad you guys came" Eddie said smiling

"Ed what's up with your hair?" Hayley asked

"Jamie tried. I can't make fun of him for trying"

"It's cause she already did" Jamie said

"I'll fix it. I figured I could paint your nails for you. Give you the full treatment" Hayley

"I would love that" Eddie said

"We'll leave you two alone" Jamie said

He and Spencer clearly knew they weren't wanted.

"I was worried she wouldn't be happy you guys were here" Jamie said

"We wouldn't have taken it personally, it's understandable. I mean she put me in my place the very first time I met her"

"That was funny" Jamie said laughing

"How you doing with it?" Spencer asked as they sat on the couch

"I think she's handling her getting shot better than me, I could've lost her yesterday. I mean the whole time we were partners neither of us got shot yet the second she's my wife, she does. God Spence when I heard the shots and saw her fall down the steps and then I saw blood, I couldn't think straight. I couldn't get her clothes off fast enough to get to her vest"

"In this situation would you rather have not been there or do you think it was better you were there?" Spencer asked

"Rather my wife not get shot" Jamie said

"Well yea" Spencer said

"I guess since she's ok, it was better I was there. Could see for myself. Anything else, I don't know what I would have done" Jamie said shaking his head

"So help me God Spence I can't tell you how relieved I was when I knew it wasn't her blood" Jamie said

"You can't beat yourself up over that, that's natural"

"Dunleevy was a friend, good cop. He's got his own distraught family. I know what that's like too" Jamie said

"You can't carry the guilt of the world on your shoulders"

"Pretty big guilt"

"Alright so if it had gone the other way you would be telling me that you wished it was this way. It doesn't make you a bad person Jamie. It makes you human" Spencer said

"Makes me a bad cop"

"It makes you a good husband Jamie" "This conversation isn't gonna go anywhere good"

"Yea well neither is any of this. I mean the public advocate is blaming Eddie and Andrew for getting shot, my dad hasn't said anything yet and the mayor is leaning more towards Dutton's opinion. I mean there's a lot of anger in this too" Jamie said

"I was hoping you guys hadn't seen that" Spencer said

"Renzulli called me, he didn't want us to see the comments and stuff" Jamie said

"Some days I don't know how we got here. I mean when I first came to New York with you I was scared to death of your dad and grandfather. Like they couldn't arrest me for anything I did in Boston and yet just because they were cops I was worried walking in your house. Where did that respect go?" Spencer asked

"We ask ourselves that everyday. I understand that there are bad and corrupt cops and trust me no one wants to see those cops punished more than I do but at the same time why are we all getting lumped together? Why crucify all of us? Cops do a lot of good too it just doesn't get put out there like it should and that's because most cops just consider it part of the job" Jamie said getting heated

"You talk to Eddie about all of this?" Spencer asked

"No not all of it. I can't unload on her right now. I gotta be the strong one, the one to hold her up"

"Yea and what happens to you when you can't hold it all up"

"I'm fine"

"If you say so" Spencer said

"It's not the easiest thing in the world to see the woman you love get shot" Jamie said

"I hope to God I never go through that I hope you never do again" Spencer said

"Me too" Jamie said

"You feel a little better?" Spencer asked

"A little" Jamie said

"Come on I want to go hang out with Officer Eddie" Spencer said getting up

They went up the stairs and saw that Hayley was sitting next to Eddie on the bed and they both were crying.

"Hey Ed are you ok?" Jamie said concerned

"Yea we were talking about yesterday and I just can't stop crying" Eddie said

"That's normal" Jamie said as his cell phone started to ring

"Um Ed it's your mom" Jamie said worriedly

"I don't want to talk, I'm not up for it" Eddie said

"Ok, I handle her" Jamie said

He said on the end of the bed and gave Eddie's leg a reassuring squeeze

"Hey Nancy" Jamie said answering

"Why have you two not called me" Nancy barked into the phone

"Um, it's been a rough 24 hours" Jamie said

"Exactly so why do I have to find out that my daughter was shot and then released from the hospital from the news!"

"I wanted to call you but Eddie wanted to wait, she didn't want to upset you" Jamie said hoping to diffuse the situation "She needed to calm down and process everything before she called"

"When are you going to make her leave that stupid job"

"I don't make Eddie do anything, her career is her choice" Jamie said

"So if she wanted to be a stripper you would allow that?" Nancy asked

"If that's what she truly wanted to do and it would make her happy, yes" Jamie said

"Put her on the phone"

"She's asleep" Jamie said getting up from the bed, Hayley and Spencer were trying to calm her down so Jamie went back into the hallway

"Well when she realizes how stupid she is being tell her to call me"

"Nancy, that's your daughter who almost lost her life yesterday and that's the way you want to talk to her?" Jamie asked getting protective

"I've told her for years this was a bad idea"

"I thought you too buried the hatchet, what happened?" Jamie asked having no patience for this conversation

"You should leave the police as well, provide my daughter with a better life"

"I'll tell Eddie to call you when she's feeling up to it" Jamie said hanging up

"I'm sorry I wanted you to call your mom" Jamie said walking into the room

"oh no" Eddie said starting to cry again "What did she say?"

"Don't worry about it ok babe" Jamie said

"I think we better go" Hayley said

"You guys want dinner or anything?" Spencer asked

"I think we're good, thanks guys" Jamie said

"Hey you need anything you call me, day or night" Hayley said

"I love you Hayls" Eddie said hugging her

"I love you too" Hayley said hugging her back, careful not to hurt her

"Jammo starts annoying you call me Officer Eddie" Spencer said hugging her

"Thanks Spencer. I even love you too"

"I'm glad you're home, I love you too" Spencer said

"We'll let our selves out" Spencer said patting Jamie on the back

"Bye Hayley. Thanks for coming over guys" Jamie said hugging her

* * *

After Spencer and Hayley left Jamie made them some scrambled eggs and toast, not wanting to give Eddie anything too heavy. He brought it upstairs and were eating it in bed.

"Ed you doing ok?" Jamie asked

Eddie didn't say anything, she just closed her eyes.

Jamie took the tray from her and set it on the dresser and went back to sit next to her.

"I don't think I can see Melissa" Eddie said

"I think she just wants to make sure you're ok" Jamie said

"How do I sit her ok when her husband is dead?"

"Eddie you got hurt, it's ok to admit it. And I don't think she's gonna blame you. Dad said she was really upset when she found out it was you that got hurt"

"Jamie if it was you that was killed and there was someone else that was ok, I don't know how nice I'd be to them" Eddie admitted

"You fly off the handle that's to be expected" Jamie said kissing her

Eddie just glared at him.

"You know you must've freaked Spence out he didn't even make fun of your sunglasses" Jamie said

"Jamie this is all just too much" Eddie said

"It's been a day, give yourself some time. You just have to give yourself time to process" Jamie said

A little while later Jamie shook Eddie awake.

"No more questions"

"No Melissa will be here soon" Jamie said

"I'll bring her up here, ok?" Jamie asked

"I guess" Eddie said

"You can do this Eddie. I know you're not feeling too strong, but you are" Jamie said

"That must be her" Jamie said as he heard the door bell ring

He took the tray to the kitchen and went to open the door.

"Hey Melissa" Jamie said hugging her

"Oh Jamie" She said hugging him tightly

"How ya holding up?"

"The kids, I have to be strong for them"

"Where are they now?" Jamie asked

"Home with my parents. My brothers in the car"

"He can come in too" Jamie said

"I need to do this on my own" Melissa said "I just needed to see Eddie"

"I get that"

"Thank you for doing what you could for him" She said as they walked to the stairs

"I wish I could've done more" Jamie said looking at the floor "She's upstairs in bed"

"It's ok" she said

"Hey Ed, Mel's here" Jamie said as they walked in

"Oh Eddie" Melissa said as she walked over to the bed

Jamie said in one of the chairs and pulled the other out for Melissa

"Mel I am so sorry" Eddie said instantly crying

"It's not your fault" Melissa said crying as well

"It is, I was right there and I ... and I couldn't do anything to stop the bullet" Eddie said

"Eddie" Jamie said

"No, I know it's not. The kid's know that. Eddie it was that guy that shot my husband and you, not you. I would do anything to have Andrew back but I'm glad I didn't lose both of you" Melissa said hugging Eddie

"I'm so sorry" Eddie said crying

"Me too. I wish this hadn't happened to you two"

Jamie sat there and knew that Melissa wasn't mad, she was just truly sad about her husband. He felt his own emotions rising at all of this.

"I wish I could've done more to stop it, to help him" Eddie said

"He died with a friend Eddie, he wasn't alone. For that I am grateful to you"

"How can you be so nice to me, I was with him I should have stopped him from getting shot. How? I don't think I would be as clam as you"

"God Eddie I would never be mad at you. I'm sorry you felt that way since I didn't come see you yesterday"

"Oh no I never felt that way! You had much bigger things to take care of. I just hopped you wouldn't be made at me for him getting shot" Eddie said

"No never" Melissa said "I just have one question for you"

"Of course, anything" Eddie said

"Will you speak at his funeral Eddie? I can't, I just can't. My oldest is going to and his partner and I know Frank but I was hoping you would too. You're family Eddie"

"It would be an honor to tell everyone how great he is, was" Eddie said

* * *

A little while later after Melissa had left Jamie was sitting next to Eddie who had been mostly quiet.

"You wanna talk about it?" Jamie asked, breaking the silence

"For someone that has a concussion, I've had to do a lot of talking when I really didn't want to" Eddie said

"I'm sorry so many people care about you babe" Jamie said

"I have to do it, don't I?" Eddie asked

"That's your decision" Jamie said

"What would you do?" Eddie asked him

"No matter how hard it would be I was speak at the funeral. I did it for Joe and Vinny and I still don't know where I got the strength for that" Jamie said

"Will you help me with it, I can't exactly type right now, I think the light would hurt"

"Of course Eddie. I would do anything to make this easier on you" Jamie said

Eddie took Jamie's hand and just closed her eyes and held it. The lights were off but her head was still spinning even with the sunglasses on.

"Do you think you could carry my downstairs, I need a change of scenery" Eddie said

"You sure, I don't want to hurt you" Jamie said

"Yea, I mean if I could breath I'd walk it slow but I just don't really wanna give the stairs a try" Eddie said

"Ok" Jamie said getting off the bed "You probably should take another pain pill too"

* * *

Jamie carried her down and got her settled on the couch and gave her some medicine before he sat on the other couch with a book.

"Concussions are boring" Eddie said

They had all the lights off and there was barely enough light for Jamie to read his book by the window.

"Just think of all the electricity we're saving" Jamie said not looking up

"I don't like sitting, I can't even watch TV"

"Nope" Jamie said

"What if you put it on so I can listen to it" Eddie said

"You said noise was bothering you" Jamie said

"Well I have done enough talking today" Eddie said

"Just try and relax Eddie" Jamie said

All of a sudden Jamie heard a key in their front door.

"Who is it?" Jamie asked getting up

"Kid it's me and Pop" Danny yelled as he walked in

"What are you guys doing here?" Jamie asked

"Checking up on you"

"Where's Linda and the boys?"

"Mother, son event at school" Danny said

"Doesn't explain why you broke into my house"

"I had a key" Danny said "Thought you guys could use some company" Henry said

"Well keep it down Eddie's had a long day and now she's bored because she can't do anything" Jamie said

"We brought pizza and beer" Danny said holding them up

"What's going on?" Jamie asked

"We can't check up on you?" Danny asked

"Nah, you usually have an agenda" Jamie said

"Jamie, we need to tell you something" Henry said

"Ok..." Jamie said not liking where it's going

"You father is speaking with Poole and Dutton in a press conference shortly"

"Great" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"We thought you could use the moral support" Henry said

"So why's Danny here?" Jamie asked

"I'm so glad I was worried about you two" Danny said "Wanted to make sure you were taking good care of Eddie"

"Not because I'm the fragile one that needs every one to save them?" Jamie asked sarcastically

"No, because you're family and times like this is when we stick together the most Jameson" Henry said

"Alright but Eddie can't watch TV" Jamie said

"We'll go in another room" Danny said

"Ha and leave her out. Good luck" Jamie said

"Can I at least see her?" Henry said

"Yea she's on the couch" Jamie said

"Eddie, how are you" Henry said walking over to her

"Hey what are you doing here?" Eddie asked

"Needed to come make sure you were doing ok" Henry said

Eddie just looked at him.

"Put an old man's mind at east" He said

"Jamie walked in with Danny behind and Jamie said on the coffee table in front of Eddie.

"Um, Ed. Dad's having a press conference with Poole and Dutton to talk about the shooting; that's why they came. To make sure we're ok"

"Why do you always have the Reagan boy's club meetings without me?" Erin asked walking in the door

"Everyone?" Eddie asked, not sure how much more company she could handle

"It's always like this" Jamie said

"Eddie how are you?" Erin asked

"I guess ok" Eddie said

"I brought this for you. Everything you need to relax. There's some magazines in there as well for when you feel up to reading a little once you head feels better. There's also a lavender/peppermint eye mask that I swear by. Throw it in the freezer and it will calm you eyes and some candy to keep you entertained"

"Thanks Erin. I really appreciate it" Eddie said genuinely touched

"Alright it's about to start. Eddie you want us to go elsewhere?"

"I'll deal with watching it, I need to know what's being said about me" Eddie said

"If you need us to turn it off let us know" Henry said

"Keep the sunglasses on" Jamie said

"Pizza anyone I'm starving" Erin said walking into the kitchen

"I take a slice" Jamie said as Danny handed him a beer

Jamie sat down next to Eddie on the couch.

"I don't get one?" Eddie asked

"Not with pain meds" Jamie said

"Ugh"

"One sip" Jamie said handing her his bottle

She took a longer sip than Jamie was expecting but he just laughed as she handed it back to him.

"You have a rough day or something?" Jamie asked her

"Nah not at all" Eddie said sarcastically

"Alright it's starting" Henry said unmuting it and Erin handed Jamie his pizza

"You sure you don't want a slice?" Jamie asked Eddie

"I think it might be too much, can I just have a bite?" Eddie said

"Somehow I think I'm losing my beer and slice" Jamie said handing her the plate

Henry, Danny and Erin all sat around the TV and waited to see what was going to happen.

Garrett started talking first. "I would like to thank everyone for coming out to hear Commissioner Reagan, Mayor Poole and Advocate Dutton. Mr. Mayor"

"Good evening. I would first and foremost like to express my deepest condolences to the family of Officer Dunleevy, he paid the ultimate sacrifice to our great city. I would also like to offer my well wishes to Officer Janko as she recovers. Both officers showed an extemporary duty to this city. Commissioner Reagan"

"Good evening. Officer Janko is at home resting with her husband. Both of my officers did what they were trained to do as did Officers Miller, Dugan and McKenna as well as Sargent Reagan. Domestic situations are never easy and rarely does one follow another. There was no indication that there was a gun, Internal Affairs has cleared both officers of any wrong doing"

"My office is still conducting an investigation as to whether Officer Dunleevy and Officer Janko provoked the incident" Dutton said

"Excuse me?" Frank asked

"I'm sorry what?" Jamie asked looking at Eddie

"Dad better fix this, Eddie's one of us" Danny said

"Yea, why do you think Dutton is going after her"

"Officer Janko, by the defendant's account, shot first. It seemed as if she escalated the situation"

"WHAT?" Eddie yelled

"Public Advocate Dutton I am not sure who is giving you your information but we have on security tapes that the defendant shot first at Officer Dunleevy and Officer Janko returned fire"

"Commissioner isn't it true that Officer Janko is married to your son?" Dutton asked

"Yes, my youngest, they have been married for a month"

"And he was her training officer?"

"Yes, they both went out of injured leave and started a relationship at that time. Which has nothing to do with this incident other than Officer Janko being injured in the line of duty"

"You and your department are clearly biased"

"Public Advocate Dutton you are out of line" Poole said

"Officer Dunleevy lost his life because the defendant wanted in a gang and the initiation was shooting a uniformed officer. Officer Dunleevy and Officer Janko were only shot because they were wearing the uniform and doing their job. They did nothing wrong and this uncalled for" Frank said

"Character assassination. I give that bitch another second before she brings up my father" Eddie said as Jamie put his arm around her

"Maybe we should turn this off" Jamie said as his phone rang

"Hey partner where are you?" Casey asked Jamie on the phone

"My living room" Jamie said

"Did"

"Casey it's already on, we're watching it"

"Oh"

"It's ok, Janko wanted to see it to"

"Alright"

"Thanks Case" Jamie said hanging up

"No leave it" Eddie said

"Officer Janko's father is in federal prison, I think that the city deserves to know who their "police" are" Dutton said "Are you aware of that Commissioner?"

"As her boss and father-in-law I am and I can tell you that she is an exemplary cop. She disclosed her fathers history on her application and it was never an issue within the department or my family. This assassination on my officers is to stop. If you shoot at a cop you better damn well expect to be shot. The use of force was never in question, it was a crowded apartment complex and my officers ensured the safety of those residents. That will be all. I have no appitite for you railroading my officers" Frank said

"The DA's office is reviewing whether or not to release the security footage as it is graphic and out of respect to the officers and their families the DA has not made a final decision. I would also like to echo what Commissioner Reagan has said, the use of force in this instance was necessary and no further action will be taken. The next thing is supporting Officer Dunleevy's family and Officer Janko and her family. Thank you" Poole said cutting Dutton out of the view of the camera.

"Jamie, Jamie" Eddie said in a panicked voice trying to get up

Jamie took one look at her and knew she was about to be sick.

"She's gonna be sick" Jamie yelled said getting her onto her side

Danny sprinted to the kitchen and tossed Erin the dishpan that was in the sink and luckily empty. Jamie had his hand under her mouth as she started to get sick Erin quickly put the pan under Eddie. Danny got Eddie a glass of water and some paper towels. Erin started cleaning the floor and Henry went to the linen closet to get some towels.

Eddie finished throwing up and groaned in pain and started crying.

"Ed" Jamie said gently as he tried to sit her up with his one hand as he took the towel from Henry.

Erin sat down next to Eddie and Jamie got up to clean himself up.

"Thanks Danny" Erin said as he took the glass from Danny

"Small sips" Erin said putting a hand on her back

"Eddie are you alright?" Henry asked her

"I think so, can we turn off the TV and all the lights?" Eddie asked

"Of course" Henry said

"We got the son of a bitch Eddie, he's not going anywhere" Danny said "I will personally see to it"

"Really cause apparently it's all my fault. Never knew that I was asking to be shot just because I wanted to be a cop. Who new meaning to she was asking for it and what was she wearing" Eddie said

"You feeling ok? How's the head?" Jamie asked sitting on the arm of the sofa next to her.

"I think I need to lay down" Eddie said as she felt her emotions starting to take over

"I told you dad would back her" Erin said to Danny

"Let me take her up" Jamie said

Jamie picked her up and carried her upstairs and carried her to the bathroom so she could get ready for bed. Once Jamie had laid her under the covers he made sure it was as dark as possible.

"Can you stay?" Eddie asked as tears started to run down her face

"Of course" Jamie said laying next to her

"I told you it was all my fault" Eddie said crying

Jamie carefully lifted her into his arms and just held her as she cried.

"What does ... does my dad have to do with this, how could she say I provoked it?!" Eddie asked

"Don't listen to her Eddie, I mean who even knows who the hell she is. My dad and the mayor backed you. You got all of us. You gotta calm down for me ok, I don't want you making yourself sick again"

"It's not fair Jamie"

"I know" Jamie said holding her tighter

* * *

Don't forget to review!


	5. Chapter 5

Don't forget to check out Partners and Flashbacks Chapter 3 for a funny flashback story briefly mentioned here!

* * *

Once Jamie knew Eddie was sound asleep he got up and went back downstairs so kick his family out for the night.

"Is she ok?" Erin asked

"Yea I just want to call the doc, vomiting and head injuries aren't exactly a good thing

"Did she throw up again?" Henry asked

"No, just right after the press conference" Jamie said dialing the number the doctor gave him.

"Hi this is Jamie Reagan, my wife was released earlier today for GSW to the vest, dislocated shoulder and concussion. She was a little nauseous off and on all day but did throw up about an hour ago. Yes, it was after the press conference. Ok thank you" Jamie said hanging up

"What did they say?" Danny asked

"That since it was after the press conference that watching TV and the stress of it caused it. If she throws up again I gotta bring her back" Jamie said

"You still have to wake her every few hours?" Danny asked her

"Yea, he said every three hours. He changed it so she could get some sleep"

"You doing ok?" Erin asked

"I guess so" Jamie said

"You gotta let us know if you're not" Danny said

"Here we go, I'm not gonna break" Jamie said

"We know how you bottle everything up" Henry said

"My biggest concern right now is Eddie and getting her through Dunleevy's funeral" Jamie said

"Will we see you tomorrow?" Erin asked

"Not for church, all the people, the noise and lights would be too much for her. Dinner will depend on how she's feeling" Jamie said "Alright I love you guys and all but I'm kicking you guys out. I'm exhausted"

"Just let us know if you guys are coming tomorrow" Henry said

"I stop by and get dinner if we don't" Jamie said

"If you need anything let us know" Erin said

"I mean it kid" Danny added

"Goodnight guys" Jamie said hoping they would leave

Jamie locked up and turned out all the lights and went up and got ready for bed. He changed into a clean pair of boxers and went to brush his teeth. He closed the door and turned on the light so. He finally got a good luck in the mirror and realized how much of the last day had taken a toll on him. He finished brushing his teeth and splashed some water on his face and leaned against the wall. He turned the light out before opening the door and quietly walked over and got in bed.

"Night Eds" He said quietly kissing her head

He set his alarm and put it under his pillow on vibrate so it wouldn't startle Eddie when he had to wake her in three hours to check on her.

Jamie felt like he had just gone to sleep when his pillow was moving. He remembered he put his phone under there and fumbled around for it to shut it off.

"Hey Eddie wake up" Jamie said to her sleeping form

"Eddie come on you know I don't want to do this to you" Jamie said

"No" Eddie said

"Faster we do this, faster you go back to sleep" Jamie said

"Don't wanna"

"Eddie, please" Jamie said defeated

"Fine, I'm awake. What do you want"

"Name, date, address" Jamie said

Eddie rattled off the details Jamie requested and took some small sips of water before Jamie helped her lay back down.

"How you feeling?" Jamie asked her

"Funny"

"In what way?" Jamie asked

"My stomach feels off but I also feel hungry" Eddie said

"Probably cause you threw up"

"Oh God right in front of half your family" Eddie said

"They understood, they were just worried"

"I hate this. I can hardly pee on my own" Eddie said

"You gotta go?" Jamie asked her

"Unfortunately"

"I'm getting you diapers" Jamie said

"Don't you dare" Eddie said as Jamie helped her sit up

"It would make both of our lives easier" Jamie said with a smirk

"Yea you wanna take all my dignity from me"

"No Eddie not at all. I'm sorry I thought you would have found it funny"

"Any other day I would've but I mean you've been treating me like a patient not your wife since it happened"

"It's been 24 hours babe" Jamie stated

"Still, I went from hot arm candy to walking like I pooped myself. I couldn't even shower by myself"

"You got shot"

"Still"

"Still nothing Eddie, it's ok to need help"

"Yea you really be ok with me having to bathe you?" Eddie asked

"Yea, sponge bath from a hot nurse" Jamie said smirking again

"I really hate you"

"No you don't" He said still smirking

"Will you ever stop thinking of me as a patient"

"I don't know what you mean" Jamie said

"We went from being newlyweds to you got even copping a feel when you helped me wash"

"I didn't think that would be appropriate"

"I mean I'm literally naked and wet and you didn't even try anything"

"What did you want me to do? I knew you were in pain"

"Stop treating me differently" Eddie yelled "A few weeks ago you would've woken me up in the middle of the night for sex not to help me walk to pee" Eddie said frustrated

"Ok so you're mad at me because I wasn't feeling you up when you're in pain?" Jamie asked not knowing why she was mad about it

"YES"

"Eddie look at me" Jamie said seriously

"I was just trying to help. Next time I'll make sure to feel up your boobs" Jamie said

"I don't want you to feel obligated since clearly you don't like me"

"Alright you sure you don't have brain damage cause you're acting crazy" Jamie said

"Am I? You're treating me like I'm some fragile old lady" Eddie said as they walked into the bathroom

"I'm fine. I don't want your help, I don't need your help" Eddie said closing the door

"Eddie" Jamie said letting out a weary sigh not exactly sure how they got to fighting in the middle of the night "I'm not leaving from outside this door" Jamie said

"You're peeing clear right? You're not dehydrated from throwing up?" Jamie asked knowing he was pushing his luck

He didn't get a response from Eddie but he did hear a lot of noise coming from the bathroom. He knew that either she really had to pee or she couldn't get up and was too stubborn to ask for help.

"Eddie are you ok?" Jamie asked gently but still not getting an answer

"You answer or I'm coming in" Jamie said

"Jamie" Eddie said sadly

Jamie immediately opened the door and saw her still sitting there

"It's ok" Jamie said helping her up

"I couldn't do it" Eddie said, eyes welling up

Jamie just nodded once he got her standing he crouched down and pulled up her pj bottoms

"You want me to do you right here so you still know how hot you are?" Jamie asked

"No" Eddie said still crying as she washed her hands

Eddie finished washing her hands and turned around to face Jamie

"You wanna know what I love about us?" Jamie asked

"Sure" Eddie said sarcastically

"That we don't have to keep anything from each other, that we're totally comfortable with each other. Ed you never need to be embarrassed in front of me. About anything"

Jamie got a washcloth and wet it and wiped Eddie's face and kissed her when he was done.

"I love that you only fight me a little when I want to help you" Jamie said trying to lighten her mood

"Well let's be glad I don't have a catheter or you would never touch me again" Eddie said

"And I would change it for you no questions asked" Jamie said

"Lucky me" Eddie deadpanned

"Come on get back in bed" Jamie said wrapped an arm around her waist as he walked her back to the bed

"Get in" Jamie said pulling the blankets back for her

Eddie got in bed and Jamie propped her shoulder and pulled the blankets up and put the trashcan back just in case. He walked around and got back in on his side and set his phone for another three hours.

He turned to face her and crossed his legs. It was dark but both of them were getting used to being in the dark and Jamie could still make out all of her features.

"Eddie I promised to take care of you in sickness and in health, what kind of husband would I be if I didn't take care of you"

"I don't know" Eddie said in small voice

"Hey I will always take care of you. I don't mind washing and brushing your hair or helping you in the bathroom. Eddie it sure beats the alternative"

"And what if I pooped myself?"

"Then I'd clean you up"

"Sure" Eddie said

"Eddie I would. I would do anything for you"

"Yea well this took us to a new, weird level"

"I've seen you naked before Ed, I can control myself. I'm not a Neanderthal"

"But this is different" Eddie said gesturing

"How?" Jamie asked

"Cause it's not sex Jamie, this is like bodily functions"

"We've been living together for a while now" Jamie said "I know you go the bathroom"

"Yea but..." Eddie said

"But nothing Ed. You told me the time you were constipated back when we were still partners and I moved your stomach around to help, you were worried to sleep over when you had your period and I was fine with it. When did I ever make you feel uncomfortable?"

"Never" Eddie said looking away

"So…" Jamie said

"So what Jamie? You're not the one that can barely wipe their own ass. You're not the one that almost peed herself because it took me so long to walk to the bathroom. You're not the one that couldn't even shower themselves or walk up stairs. You're not the one that threw up in your spouses hand" Eddie said crying

"Ed none of that bothers me" Jamie said hugging her

"I would deal with all of your bodily functions at once if it meant you were home with me" Jamie said

"So romantic" Eddie deadpanned

"Ed, I'll take waiting on you for a little over you being in the hospital or six feet under any day"

"I don't know why I'm so mad that you had to help me"

"It's easier to take it out on me than be mad at Dunleevy for dying" Jamie stated as a fatter of fact

"You don't care?" Eddie asked

"Nah, I know you're not actually mad at me. I probably would be fighting you too"

"You did, right when we started dating and you were in the cast"

"I remember being pretty embarrassed when you came in to help me after I fell trying to put my boxers on"

"I didn't care, I just wanted to help you" Eddie said

"See, that's all I'm trying to do here" Jamie said

"I'm not actually mad at you" Eddie said looking away from him

"I know" Jamie said gently turning her head to look back at him "Why do you think I keep helping you"

"I'm sorry" Eddie said

"No need to apologize Eddie" Jamie said

"I would change your catheter too" Eddie said

"I appreciate that" Jamie said laughing "You know it would be easier to just tell me what's bothering you instead of fighting me for a half hour"

"But then we would be bored" Eddie said wiping the rest of her tears away

"I'll wipe your butt forever if you need me too" Jamie said

"Wow I'm so lucky" Eddie said laughing

"I mean it Janko. I like taking care of you"

"You're good at it"

"I took care of my mom when she was sick and could hardly get out of bed. I don't mind, I really valued that time with her. We would just sit and talk and play cards since she really couldn't go anywhere"

"You're a good one" Eddie said taking his hand

"You feel a little better?" Jamie asked her

"Yea I think so"

"You gonna stop fighting me for trying help you?" Jamie asked

"Maybe" Eddie said

"Alright I can deal with that" Jamie said laughing "Try and get some sleep so I can wake you again in three hours"

"No more"

"You think I enjoy having to wake up?" Jamie asked

"I guess not" Eddie said

"If you're head feels better tomorrow I won't have to keep doing it"

"I hope so" Eddie said

"Go back to sleep" Jamie said

"Love you" Eddie said

"I love you too" Jamie said

* * *

Jamie had woken Eddie up a few more times, she gave him the standard answers and they quickly went back to bed. It was almost noon and Eddie was still sleeping. Jamie knew she could sleep for a whole day if she was that tired. He was playing on his phone when Eddie began to stir.

"Hey" Eddie said

"Afternoon sleepyhead"

"Yea we'll someone kept waking me"

"I'm sorry" Jamie said feigning hurt

"How do you feel?" Jamie asked her

"I'm sick of that question"

"Good I'm sick of asking it"

"Then don't"

"But I have to" Jamie said

"My head actually feels better, it doesn't feel as heavy"

"Good" Jamie said kissing her head

"Stomach?"

"Hungry, not queasy"

"Well that's a first for the last few days" Jamie said

"Getting mad at you helped last night"

"Of course it did" Jamie said

"How's the shoulder feel?"

"That still hurts like a bitch" Eddie said

"They reduced it but said in about two weeks you should be able to start some physical therapy. What about the ribs?" Jamie asked

"They also hurt"

"Can I see?" Jamie asked

Eddie started to slide her t-shirt up.

"Easy" Jamie said

"How bad is it? I can't even do a half-crunch to look"

"It's probably better that way" Jamie said looking at it

"I wanna see" Eddie said

Jamie grabbed his phone a took a picture.

"God that's a gross shade of purple" Eddie said looking at his phone

"For such a small bullet it's a big bruise" Jamie said lightly rubbing his thumb over it

"I'll say"

Jamie leaned down and kissed her side.

"Whoa"

"Yea that was weird"

"Kinda" Eddie said

"Your little 12 just really turns me on" Jamie said smirking

"So does yours" Eddie said

"I still can't believe you talked me into that" Jamie said

"You were a few hurricanes in and were happy to do it"

"At least we got it in sensible places" Jamie said

"I'm gonna have to be careful at the beach with your family. I don't think my bikinis will cover it. You should be fine with it on your hip"

"We literally got them in the worst place to get tattoos"

"Right on the bone" Eddie said laughing

"Ugh" Eddie said holding her side as she laughed

"I don't know if they will care. Danny has two. I'm convinced Erin has one somewhere"

"Why's that?" Eddie asked

"Cause mom told her no when she was eighteen and Erin really hated being told what to do"

"Who knew you would ever get one" Eddie said

"Not me. You're a bad influence Eddie Janko-Reagan"

"We all need one of those" Eddie said giggling

* * *

"So you wanna go over for dinner?" Jamie asked her as they were sitting on the couch still with the lights off and Eddie's sunglasses on

"I guess I'll give it a try" Eddie said

"You can literally go in sweats"

"Thank God. Pants are too hard one handed" Eddie said

"I guess I should probably put a bra on though"

"I mean yea but totally your call" Jamie said as he texted Erin that they were coming

"We should probably start getting ready. It could take me awhile" Eddie said

"Ok" Jamie said

"Um, are we gonna have to talk about the press conference?" Eddie asked getting worried

"Probably will come up" Jamie said

"Can it not?" Eddie asked

"I don't want to talk about the shooting or the funeral or anything having to do with it"

"Copy that" Jamie said shooting another text to Erin

"Come on" Jamie said picking her up and carrying her upstairs

Eddie put on a pair of dark grey sweatpants and one of her old college t-shirts. Jamie got her favorite pick zip up and gently put her bad shoulder through it and then her good one and secured her sling.

"Will I ever be able to put my own underwear and clothes on?" Eddie said

"So dramatic Janko" Jamie said laughing

He put on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Eddie had walked to the bathroom and was finishing getting ready when Jamie walked in.

"You're walking better which is good"

"Yea getting up and down is the hardest part" Eddie said

"Hair?" Eddie asked

Jamie grabbed her brush and put it up into a ponytail.

"You're improving" Eddie said

"It wasn't that bad" Jamie said

"Ehh" Eddie said

"Whatever" Jamie said

"How's my hair?" Jamie asked laughing

"I like the slightly longer look on you"

"Yea I haven't had it cut since the wedding"

"I like it" Eddie said

"Ready?" Jamie asked her

"Yea I look like a hot mess"

"You look beautiful. You're just fishing for compliments" Jamie said as they walked out

"Jamie I really don't think I can talk about any of this at dinner" Eddie said her whole expression changing

"I know, I do wanna talk to my dad about the stuff with Dutton"

"I do too but, Jamie I think dinner is a bad idea" Eddie said

"How come"

"Because it's still too fresh, I still have strangle marks from the nurse. I just don't want to get upset in front of everyone" Eddie said

"They're family Ed, this is when you need them the most" Jamie said

"I guess"

"You don't wanna go that's fine"

"I'll try"

"Ok, I also think you'll feel better when you talk to your dad. I talked to his CO and they said he'll call your cell today" Jamie said

"Ok good. But dinner?"

"I'll keep it in my pocket on ring" Jamie said "Don't worry about that"

* * *

Jamie helped Eddie out of the car and held her hand as they slowly walked to the door. They family had kept the driveway open for them so it wouldn't be too far for Eddie to walk.

"Hey everyone" Jamie said as they walked in

He took notice that they didn't have any lights on and smiled that they thought of Eddie

"See no lights" Jamie said

"That was really nice of them" Eddie said genuinely touched

"Hey you two" Frank said walking into the kitchen

He gave Eddie a gentle hug.

"I'm glad you could make it" Frank said smiling at her

"Me too" Eddie said getting a little misty

"Sorry" She said wiping her eyes with her good hand. Jamie came up behind her and put a hand on the small of her back

"We made sure to keep all the lights off and closed some of the blinds" Sean said walking over to her

"Hey Seany" Eddie said opening her arm for him

"It's ok bud" Jamie said gently

"Hey Aunt Eddie" Jack said hugging her gently

"See Sean it's ok, I promise" Eddie said

Sean lightly hugged her, both boys careful not to hurt her.

"Aunt Eddie" Nicky said hugging her

"Hey Nic"

"Do you want to see my formal dress? I got asked to the fraternity formal I told you about"

"Of course" Eddie said

"What Uncle Jamie chopped liver?" Jamie asked them

The three then quickly hugged him too.

"What's with this family this week? Sean what happened to your eye?"

"My forehead missed the soccer ball but my eye didn't" Sean said

"Ouch" Jamie said laughing

"Yea it hurt" Sean said

"I bet" Jamie said

"Hey Pop, dinner smells good" Jamie said

"I mean Eddie's favorite. Steak with the cheesy potatoes she likes"

"Henry, thank you" Eddie said

"You promise to stay out of my ER?" Linda asked hugging her sister in law

"I'll try my best"

"How you feeling today" Danny asked her

"Ok, head's a little better"

"Good" Erin said walking in holding her phone

"Sorry, it was the judge on my case for Monday. Defense wants a continuance"

"Of course they do"

"NO shop talk" Erin said hugging Eddie said

"Wow" Eddie said

"Ed?" Jamie asked

"Little overwhelmed" Eddie said

"Come sit" Jamie said guiding her to a chair

"Dinner's ready, everyone go wash up" Henry announced

Jamie helped Eddie up and they went to the kitchen sink to wash their hands.

"Where do you think it will be easier for you to sit?" Jamie asked her

"Where my shoulder won't get elbowed"

"Why don't we switch with Jack and Sean" Jamie said

"Ok that works" Eddie said

"Musical chairs tonight" Jamie said as the boys walked in

"It's weird over here" Sean said

"I kinda like it" Jack said sitting in Jamie's normal seat

Everyone brought the food in and sat down.

"Whose turn is it to say grace?" Frank asked

As they went around arguing whose turn it was Eddie spoke up quietly.

"I know I don't know this but could I?" Eddie asked in a small voice

"Of course" Frank said

Eddie took a deep breath and looked and Jamie who nodded and took her hand in his under the table.

"I want to thank all of you for taking care of me the last two days even when I didn't want it. I'm really happy to be sitting here eating dinner... eating dinner with all of you" Eddie said, feeling her emotions betray her. Jamie put his left arm around her and took her right hand in his right hand.

"Ok" "Bless us O Lord" Eddie said

"Sorry" Eddie said trying to get up

"It's ok" Jamie said quietly in her ear as he helped her up

"No, just let me go" Eddie said

Eddie got up and walked away. Jamie was about to get up when Frank told him to stop.

"Give her a second" Henry said

"But" Jamie started

"No buts" Frank said

"She can barely get up and down from a chair on her own" Jamie said

"I'll go check on her" Danny said getting up

"You?" Jamie asked

"I kinda think I have an idea on where her head is" Danny said

"But Danny"

"Hey kid, trust me ok" Danny said gently "Start eating" Danny said getting up

Danny walked into the living room and saw Eddie leaning against the wall with her eyes closed, Danny shut the rest of the blinds and walked over to Eddie.

"Eddie?" Danny asked quietly

"I'm fine"

"Yea everyone leans against walls in the middle of dinner" Danny said sarcastically

"I couldn't sit on the couch on my own" Eddie said

"Want some help?" Danny asked her

"Fine" Eddie said pushing off the wall. Danny helped her sit on the couch and sat down next to her.

"I ever tell you about my second tour in Iraq?" Danny asked her

"No" Eddie said opening her eyes

"I was the only one from my unit that made it home alive"

"I'm sorry" Eddie said

"It took me awhile to work through that, I burned through a lot of partners when I first came back" Danny said

"That's understandable" Eddie said

"It's also understand that you're feeling like everything's closing in on you" Danny said

Eddie looked up and opened her eyes.

"I'm not as dumb as Jamie makes me look" Danny said

"How'd you?" Eddie asked before stopping and realizing that she admitted Danny was right

"That you were suffocating at the table?" Danny asked finishing for her

"Yea"

"I felt the same way the first few weeks I was home. Everyone fussed over me and wouldn't let me have two seconds to myself. We're an overbearing bunch I get that. I know the kid hasn't let you out of his sight"

"Sitting there with everyone, you know Melissa won't have that anymore" Eddie said sadly

"And you felt guilty because you were sitting there with your family" Danny said

"When does the guilt stop? Jamie just said I shouldn't feel guilty and it will take time"

"It does take time, eventually it'll get easier and you won't feel guilty anymore" Danny said

"Maybe you're not as dumb as you look" Eddie said

"Thanks" Danny said smirking

"I'm also feeling guilty because I don't want to talk to my mom. I made Jamie talk to her yesterday and we're still waiting to get a hold of my dad"

"Dad should be able to pull some strings to get you to talk to your dad"

"I don't need that coming out from Dutton" Eddie said

"That still eating at you?" Danny asked

"Yup" Eddie said

"You talk to your mom when you're ready"

"I guess" Eddie said

"You want me to bring your dinner in here?" Danny asked

"No it's ok"

"You need help getting back to the table?" Danny asked her

"Just getting up" Eddie said

* * *

"What's taking him so long?" Jamie asked looking at his watch

"Relax" Frank told his youngest

"I'm gonna go check on them" Jamie said getting up

"Sit your butt back down" Henry instructed him

"Fine" Jamie said sitting down

Jamie was about to protest again when Eddie and Danny walked in

"Ed?" Jamie asked

"I'm good" Eddie said as Jamie helped her sit

Jamie looked at Danny who nodded as he sat down on the other side of Jamie.

"Sorry" Eddie said looking around

"Don't be" Frank said

"Is everything still hot?" Henry asked her

Eddie looked down at her plate and saw Jamie had filled it and cut everything up for her.

"Thanks" Said quietly leaning into him

"Of course" Jamie said kissing her

"Now can we eat?" Eddie asked

"Of course" Henry said laughing

"This is a lot better than the scrambled eggs I was fed last night" Eddie said eating her steak

"You wanted something light on your stomach" Jamie said defending himself

"But steak is always a good option"

"I agree" Sean said

"Sean you would eat dirt" Jack said

"He has" Nicky said laughing

"That was years ago" Sean said

"Doesn't matter" Jamie said laughing

"It's ok Sean I got your back when it comes to food" Eddie said

* * *

A few days later Jamie and Eddie were getting ready for Dunleevy's funeral. Eddie had been feeling better and was able to move around on her own now. She mentally had been doing better but all that changed the morning of the funeral.

"Ahh dammit" Eddie yelled

Jamie had been in the bathroom getting ready when he rushed out and saw Eddie going through her jewelry box.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned

"I can't find my extra collar brass anywhere, it must be in my locker. Now what am I gonna do?" Eddie said angerly

Jamie didn't say anything he just opened the top drawer and removed a keepsake box much like the one his dad had and took out an extra pair.

"These were Joe's" Jamie said walking over to her

"I can't"

"You can" Jamie said pinning them onto her shirt and uniform blazer.

"Jamie" Eddie said as her face crumpled

"I got you" Jamie said hugging her

"Thanks" Eddie said wiping her eyes "Why am I like this" Eddie asked

"You have every right to be upset today" Jamie said

"And take it out on my collar brass?"

"Of course" Jamie said

"Are you ever gonna get mad at me again?" Eddie asked

"Oh I'm sure I will" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"Then why haven't you?" Eddie asked

"You got shot, you're good friend died. You're allowed some leeway" Jamie said

Jamie helped Eddie fix her tie and finish buttoning her shirt and then he pinned her hair.

"How'd I do?" Jamie asked standing behind her in the mirror

"Let's just say it could've been worse" Eddie said

"I thought I did good!" Jamie said

"You tried" Eddie said

"I'm make fun of you for it more if I could actually do it myself" Eddie said

"Soon enough, you're already moving better" Jamie said

"Thankfully I can go the bathroom on my own" Eddie said

"That's the spirit" Jamie said

"Do you think I can really do this?" Eddie asked her

"I think you can" Jamie said putting a hand on her back

"I have to, Melissa asked me"

"You can do this Eddie"

"I didn't get through it when I dictated to you" Eddie said

"That's normal, I cried writing Joe's"

"I don't like crying" Eddie said

"Most people don't" Jamie said

"At least I can lose the ugly sunglasses" Eddie said

"At least bring them with you"

"Fine" Eddie said

"I'll be with you the whole time" Jamie said

"You have been even if I've been annoyed with it"

"It's my job to annoy you, it was part of our vows" Jamie said

"No it wasn't" Eddie shot back

"Well damn" Jamie said

"Like this is nice, us being us but then I feel guilty" Eddie said looking away from Jamie

"You can't Eddie. It's no way to live. You and I both know the last thing Dunleevy would want is you feeling guilty"

"I know but it only makes me feel worse" Eddie said

"What can I do?" Jamie asked

"Nothing, just let me process this" Eddie said

"Of course" Jamie said hugging her "I love you Eds, so much"

"I love you too" Eddie said hugging him back tightly

"We have to get going" Jamie said

"Ok" Eddie said taking a deep breath

* * *

Eddie and Jamie were sitting in the row behind his family with the rest of the Twelfth precinct and she couldn't sit still as Miller was giving his eulogy, she knew she was next. Jamie was on her right and quietly put his hand on her leg and then Eddie held onto his hand.

Next it was Eddie's turn she got up and saluted, bowed at the alter and gingerly made her way to the pulpit. She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath and reopened her eyes.

"I'm Officer Eddie Janko, or as Andrew started the precinct in calling me, shorty. Andrew Dunleevy was one of the best people I had ever met. I've known him since we were rookies in the Academy. He had went the military route and then joined the NYPD" Eddie said pausing to compose herself.

"My dad went to prison the year before I went into the academy. During the second week it came out at the academy and I might as well have worn a scarlet letter. But no, Andrew came over during lunch and plopped his tray down exclaiming how he wouldn't make fun of his kids hating on their school lunches; He then asked me where he knew me from, before I could answer that it was probably the first week he tells me 'oh I know, you were at my house for a play date with my daughter over the weekend. You're in her seventh grade class right?' It broke the ice when he flashed me his trademark smirk. After that we just got along really well. We had a love of '80s music and the Philadelphia Flyers, which finding a Flyers fan is hard to do in New York. He was definitely one of the good ones" Eddie said wiping a few tears away and looking at Jamie who nodded at her

"Andrew then started inviting me over for dinner once a week and before I knew it he and his beautiful wife Melissa were some of my first friends once I came back to the city after school. He broke the ice that day and showed everyone that I wasn't bad. His ability to take care of people and put them at ease was unparalled. His sense of house was something that always made me laugh, he could be reading a grocery list and everyone would be in tears laughing. When I first started dating my now husband, he corned him in the precinct locker room and threatened him with a week-old tuna sandwich if he ever hurt me. He was the best kind of friend to have. He would try and talk you out of killing your enemy but he would then help you burry the body and be sitting in the cell next to you. He somehow had the ability to give the wisdom of a ninety year old but in the mannerisms of a twelve year old" Eddie said pausing

"He was the best of the best and I am gonna miss him tremendously. Andrew loved his city and his country but nothing compared to his love of Melissa and the kids. He told me to make sure I find someone who looks at me the way he looks at Melissa. Thank you for sharing his kindness, love, humor and friendship with all of us other the years. Andrew, oh Andrew we miss you already" Eddie said letting tears fall from her eyes

She bowed and saluted and went back to her seat next to Jamie. As soon as she sat down she couldn't stop crying. Jamie slid closer to her and put her arm around her. "You did great" Jamie whispered kissing her cheek.

Frank started talking when Jamie looked at Eddie and knew something was wrong. "Ed?" Jamie asked quietly

"No I can't, I can't. I need... need to get out" Eddie said shaking as she stood up

"Go, go. I'm right behind you" Jamie said helping her out of the pew and down the side aisle

They luckily went out the side door into the lobby as Eddie was trying to pull off her hat and tie.

"Come on" Jamie said quietly as he took her hat and led her to the women's bathroom

"Focus on my voice ok" Jamie said

"Can't breath" Eddie said out of breath as tears streamed down her face

Jamie took her sling off then her blazer and tie and unbuttoned the top buttons.

"In and out Eddie in and out ok. Slow" Jamie coaxed gently

"Can't breath" Eddie said clawing at her throat

"You're having a panic attack, just focus on me" Jamie said making sure he was right in her line of vision

"Breath with me, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out" Jamie said slowly

Eddie started slowing her breathing and it was returning to normal

"How'd you know?" Eddie said between her tears

"I used to get them in law school" Jamie said

"I haven't had one since in was in the academy when everyone found out about my dad" Eddie said, her breathing going back to normal

"God my chest hurts" Eddie said

"It's ok, you're safe" Jamie said as there was a knock on the door

"It's Mike" McKenna said

"Eddie you ok?" He asked her handing her a bottle of water

"I think so" Eddie said focusing on her breath

"Slow, slow" McKenna said "My daughter gets them a lot before big swim meets. As soon as you got up and went out I knew. So I went to find you some water. It's the one thing that helps her focus and slow her breathing"

"Thank you" Eddie said as she was slumped against Jamie

"How does your daughter do this all the time?" Eddie asked

"She loves swimming that much" McKenna said

"This just came out of no where"

"You've been wound pretty tight Janko" Jamie said

"Sometimes it just happens" McKenna said

"Alright we should probably go back"

"I'm gonna tell dad you just were tired of hearing him talk" Jamie said

"I feel so bad we just walked out" Eddie said

"Don't worry about it" Jamie said buttoning her shirt

"You wanna go back in?" McKenna asked

"Can we just stand in the back?" Eddie asked

"Of course" Jamie said

Jamie finished her shirt and helped her with her blazer and secured her sling, tie and hat and the three of them went back into the church. Jamie stood with his arm around Eddie's waist and McKenna had a hand on her shoulder.

The priest was to the incense portion where he moved it all around the casket when Eddie started crying.

"Shh, it'll be ok eventually" Jamie said quietly to her as McKenna squeezed her shoulder

She noticed that both Eddie and Mike had tears in their eyes and Eddie moved closer into Jamie and she put her right arm around McKenna's waist. Casey had walked to the back of church after Jamie and Eddie had left to make sure she was ok. And he walked over to them.

* * *

That night after the funeral mass and burial and part of the luncheon Jamie decided Eddie had enough and took her home. He knew she would never admit she was in pain so he made the decision to take her home even if she got made at him.

"You want anything?" Jamie asked as they walked into the house, his carrying various pieces of their uniform that they took off after lunch

"Just a water" Eddie said following Jamie into the kitchen

"Jamie" Eddie said in a shaky voice

"Ed?" Jamie asked concerned

"I'm really glad it wasn't my funeral" Eddie said crying

"God me too" Jamie said hugging her as she cried. It was the first time she admitted it when before she kept question why it wasn't her and Jamie hoped it meant they were taking a positive step in the right direction.

"I can't tell you how relieved I am to be standing with you in my arms" Jamie said feeling a few of his own tears

"I'm glad it wasn't us" Eddie said still holding onto Jamie crying

"Me to babe, me too" Jamie said

* * *

Don't forget to review and let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

_"Jamie" Eddie said in a shaky voice_

 _"Ed?" Jamie asked concerned_

 _"I'm really glad it wasn't my funeral" Eddie said crying_

 _"God me too" Jamie said hugging her as she cried. It was the first time she admitted it when before she kept question why it wasn't her and Jamie hoped it meant they were taking a positive step in the right direction._

 _"I can't tell you how relieved I am to be standing with you in my arms" Jamie said feeling a few of his own tears_

 _"I'm glad it wasn't us" Eddie said still holding onto Jamie crying_

 _"Me to babe, me too" Jamie said_

"It's ok to feel this way" Jamie said still hugging her

"But it's not" Eddie said crying "He was a good friend Jamie"

"It is, you pretty much saw your life flash before your eyes. It'll shake you Ed"

"What kind of person does that make me?" Eddie said still crying

"It makes you human, it makes you a person that has a lot to live for"

"It makes me a terrible person"

"Then I'm a terrible person too, babe"

"What?" Eddie asked looking up at him

"I told you how relieved I was when I found out you were ok" Jamie said

"But that's different" Eddie said

"How?" Jamie asked

"It just is"

"Ed, look at me, please" Jamie said lifting her chin

"You being glad you didn't die doesn't make you a bad person. You're vest protecting you doesn't make you a bad person. We all have to make peace with it the day we enter the academy but it doesn't mean it's ok when we lose friends or family on the job"

"It took a lot to admit that" Eddie said

"I know it. I had practice with Danny and Spencer. I wasn't there Eddie, I can't know what was going through your head in those few seconds. I can only help you process and get through it now"

"Why do I feel worse admitting it?" Eddie asked him leaning against him

"Sit down ok, let me get you some water" Jamie said leading her to the kitchen chair

"Admitting you were that close to dying isn't easy, admitting that you're glad you didn't die isn't easy. I'd be more worried if you were totally cool with everything" Jamie said "Admitting it makes it all real"

"It did" Eddie said nodding, tears forming again

"And that's ok" Jamie said sitting down across from her

"I just want to go back and change it all" Eddie said putting her head on the table

Jamie put his hand on her head and gently ran his fingers through it.

"That's the PTSD and grief talking. You're gonna replay it over and over trying to change the outcome and wish it was different. I know it doesn't seem it, but it's all normal" Jamie said

"Did you do that with Joe and Vinny?" Eddie asked looking up at him

"Yea" Jamie said quietly nodding

"How did you work through it. Jamie please I know you don't talk about it, but I need you tell me that it'll get easier, that the guilt won't eat you alive"

"Ok" Jamie said nodding again

"I was angry at Joe for getting killed, this is when we thought it was a perp that shot him. He always promised me he was safe and I was mad at him for breaking that promise. I was mad at him for dying, for leaving me, for making me care. I took it out on Danny, I mean we hardly had a normal relationship for two years. The I got mad at him all over again with the Blue Templar, like why didn't he say anything, Dad or Danny or someone could have done something. I wanted to honor my brother but at the same time I was really mad. With Vinny I couldn't voice how mad I was t him because how can you be mad at your dead partner? I took it out on those around me, Pop got a big brunt of it cause I had a cracked rib so I had to take some time off after we cleared out the Bitterman Houses because I told Sarge I refused to sit it" out. He got a lot of my crap too" Jamie said letting the impact hit them both

"Are you still mad at Joe?" Eddie asked

"Not anymore, I understand why he did what he did. He wanted to do the right thing, same circumstances I did the exact same thing so I it kinda put it into perspective for me" Jamie said

"How long did it take?"

"Off and on, I wish I could tell you more specifically but I'd be fine for awhile and then something would happen that would either make me mad or something I'd want him here for"

"What about Vinny?"

"I had guilt with Vinny where I didn't with Joe. Danny carried that guilt, he thought he should have been able to protect him. I was guilty with Vinny, I got hit first, Vin turned around to look at me and that's when he got shot. I thought if I had been paying better attention or was a better cop and partner that it wouldn't have happened. Then him telling me it was ok, made me feel even guiltier. I was pushing him to hold on when he was ok with it. Now I try to honor them both by being the best cop I can be"

"How long did it take you to move past your guilt with Vinny?"

"The guilt with Vinny was really strong in the beginning, but I got put back with Sarge for a few months till he felt comfortable that I wasn't homicidal and then I got you. But I was guilty over what happened and guilty that I was mad at him. I was guilty that I turned on my faith, Pop made sure that didn't last long. I was guilty on and off with you. The reason I got so mad at you when you lied to the Inspector General wasn't because you lied it was more about I couldn't protect another partner, that I let another partner down. I was mad at myself, you were a rookie I was the senior officer and I should have known that you're mind was playing tricks on you. I figured I was letting you down like I let Vin down" Jamie said looking away from Eddie

"I never knew you felt that way" Eddie said putting her good hand on top of his on the table

"I couldn't explain it back then. I've worked through a lot of my past grief and you helped with that" Jamie said giving her a half smile

"I promise you it will get easier it. It sucks and you're angry and sad and confused and you're feeling guilty and all of that is normal I promise you. I'm with you Ed, always" Jamie said

"I'm sorry" Eddie said

"For what?" Jamie asked her

"Making you talk about this stuff, I know you don't like it"

"I'd do anything for you, anything to help you. I don't know if any of that made sense or helped" Jamie said, feeling his own emotions starting

"It did, I appreciate you talking about it. I know it wasn't easy for you"

"Easier than seeing you suffer. Most days I love my job but then when we lose friends it makes the whole thing suck"

"Thank you for being patient" Eddie said

"It's only been a few days, it'll take time to process everything that happened, just give yourself time Eddie"

"What would I do without you?"

"Your hair would look like shit" Jamie said giving her a smirk

"You're such a jerk" Eddie said

"Come here" Jamie said giving Eddie his hand to help her up

Eddie eased her way up and went over and sat on Jamie's lap

"Any pain?" Jamie asked her

"Not right now" Eddie said putting her head on his chest

"I love you Janko" Jamie said kissing her

"I love you too, so much Jamie" Eddie said wrapping her good arm around his neck

Eddie leaned into Jamie kissing him and Jamie gently ran his hand up her back.

"Please" Eddie said moaning

"I don't want to hurt you" Jamie said pulling back from her lips

"You're too irresistible in your blues" Eddie said

"You're pretty hot too" Jamie said kissing her again

"I need you to have sex with me, please" Eddie said

"You know I always want to have sex with you, you spoiled me for life. But you promise me you'll tell me if you're in too much pain"

"Promise, I just need to feel normal. To feel like us" Eddie said

Jamie didn't say anything he stood up from the chair and carried her to bed.

* * *

"I gotta go Ed" Jamie said leaving her in bed a few mornings later to return to work. He had been given some time off to take care of Eddie.

"You promise to be careful?" Eddie asked

"Always" Jamie said leaning back down to kiss her

"Call me on meal?"

"I promise" Jamie said

"Be careful"

"I will. I love you"

"I love you too" Eddie said feeling tears start to form

"Hey babe, we talked about this" Jamie said sitting next to her on the bed

"I know we did" Eddie said

She had been feeling better after talking with Jamie and knowing that she just had to let it all play out not and feel guilty about the way she felt. She had been taking it easy but was still in the sling and her ribs still hurt certain ways she moved. Henry was coming over later to talk about what they were going to have for Thanksgiving dinner.

"You said you were ok with me going back in the street. I stayed in house yesterday, but you know they need me more on the street than they do as a desk sergeant"

"I'm just worried" Eddie said looking away

"I know you are. I worry about you and Danny too"

"What if something happens to you out there?" Eddie asked

"I know you'll go beat them up. I can't promise you that nothing will happen but I can promise you that I will do everything I can to come home to you every night" Jamie said

"I know you will. Just be careful ok?" Eddie asked

"I promise I will be careful and call you at lunch ok" Jamie said

"Ok" Eddie said nodding

"Pop will be over soon, he's bringing you lunch, said it's a surprise but knowing him it will be a four course meal"

"Jealous?" Eddie asked

"Of course. But not as jealous as those blankets that are in a heap on my side of the bed. They get to lay in bed next to you all day"

"Thanks for going mushy for me" Eddie said

"I can do that occasionally" Jamie said

"Go easy on Casey" Eddie said

"What fun would that be?" Jamie asked

"Tell him I tried" Eddie said

"I will" Jamie said kissing her again

* * *

"I'm glad you're back partner" Casey said as Jamie walked in roll call

"Yea you got tired of writing parking summons?"

"Oh yea, it's loads of fun" Casey said rolling his eyes

"How's Eddie?" Casey asked as they pulled out of the parking lot

"She's doing better. She's a little more herself, still some pain though she wouldn't admit it"

"God that was scary" Casey said

"I'm sorry I ditched at the hospital after we got there"

"Your wife got shot I understood"

"I'm still your partner, I should've helped you through it too"

"Jamie really it's fine. My brother and sister came over. They actually talked to me like I was a cop" Casey said

"Yea Danny still doesn't think I know what I'm doing and I technically outrank him" Jamie said laughing

"In his mind you will never out rank him" Casey said laughing

"Who would have thought that the two youngest would have ended up in an RMP"

"My moms still against it" Casey said "Four out of five became cops"

"Yea my mom would not have been pleased. I would like to think that she would have realized that I really wanted to be a cop and didn't love being a lawyer but who knows"

"12-Sargent, armed robbery in progress" Their radio cackled to life causing them to put their game faces on

"You good" Jamie asked as they got out of the RMP and went into the bank

"Right behind you" Casey said

"Police don't move" Jamie yelled once they got in and took cover

"Go left" Jamie instructed Casey

"Give it up" Casey yelled as backup arrived

"There's no way out, put the gun down and no one will get hurt" Jamie said

"Put it down now" Jamie said

The bank robber tossed the gun at Casey who ducked out of the way and Jamie ran and tackled him and Casey got his accomplice.

"Nice work Casey" Jamie said as they cuffing the guys

"You too Sarge"

"Stick with Reagan, I think of Renzulli when you call me that" Jamie said as they walked their perps and put them in their car while reading them their rights.

They got back to the 12th and processed their arrests and Jamie called Eddie.

"Hey babe" Jamie said shutting his office door

"Hey are you ok?" Eddie asked panicked

"Yea, just processed to armed bank robbers, no injures either" Jamie said

"I'm proud of you" Eddie said hesitantly

"Eddie?" Jamie asked

"You could've gotten shot" Jamie said quietly

"But I didn't. I'm ok, Casey's ok. It was a good take down babe" Jamie said trying to reassure her

"I know. Just be careful ok?" Eddie said

"I will" Jamie said

"I love you Jamie" Eddie said

"I love you too Eddie, I gotta go. Dugan's at my door"

"Bye" Eddie said

"Reagan, Cap wants us back out" Casey said "You ok?"

"Yea, I just talked to Eddie" Jamie said shaking his head to clear it

"She ok?"

"She heard armed robbery and thought the worst" Jamie said

"I got your back"

"It's not you Casey"

"I know"

"I thought this part would have been easier you know, she's a cop she understands it but I guess she still worries the same" Jamie said

"You guys will get through it" Casey said as they walked out to the car

Jamie and Casey answered a few more calls before they went on meal break.

"You talk to Eddie lately?" Casey asked looking at his phone

"No why?" Jamie asked

"I have eight missed calls and ten texts from her" Casey said

"Shit" Jamie said checking all his pockets "I left my phone on my desk"

Casey didn't say anything he just handed Jamie his phone.

"You call Eddie. I'll go get us some lunch" Casey said and Jamie just nodded in response

"Casey what happened to him was he shot?" Eddie asked into the phone

"Eds it's me, I left me phone of my desk. I didn't realize it until we stopped now for lunch. I'm sorry I worried you" Jamie said not knowing how to make this better for her

"You're ok?" Eddie asked

"Hungry but perfectly fine. It was a busy morning" Jamie said

"You want me to come home early?" Jamie asked her

"No, that's crazy. Pop's here" Eddie said

"He feed you?" Jamie asked

"Yea" Eddie said and Jamie could hear the smile in her voice

"I'm guessing it was good?" Jamie asked

"He brought traditional Serbian food" Eddie said

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. You guys work out Thanksgiving?" Jamie asked

"All planned out" Eddie said

"Good, I'm hungry just thinking about it and it's a week away" Jamie said

"It'll be worth the wait" Eddie said and Casey got back into the car

"Casey's back with lunch. I gotta go he get's jealous if I don't give him my undivided attention" Jamie said laughing

"Tell him I said hi" Eddie said

"Love you babe" Jamie said

"Love you too" Eddie said hanging up

Jamie just looked at Casey since he was about to start laughing at him "Yea you wait till you get a wife that loves you" Jamie said

"You get really mushy talking to her" Casey said still trying not to laugh

"She just worries right now" Jamie said

"You two are either going at it with the sass or practically jumping each other in the precinct. This is a nice side of you Reagan"

"Shut it" Jamie said stealing Casey's chips

They finished up their tour and Casey said he would do the last of the paper work so Jamie could go home to Eddie.

"Hey babe I'm home" Jamie said dripping his duffel in the mud room

"Kitchen" Eddie yelled

"Ooo dinner" Jamie said hugging her

"Pop cut everything and I think I mostly did ok one handed"

"You need any help?" Jamie asked

"Can you just turn it in the oven, it's just awkward with one hand"

"Sure" Jamie said washing his hands

"what is it?" Jamie asked

"Veggie and meat lasagna together, this way we will have leftovers too"

"Smells good" Jamie said as he opened the oven

"I think we need to talk" Jamie said turning around to face Eddie

"I think we're good" Eddie said looking away

"Janko come on, you calling Casey? You're clearly not telling me everything"

"Jealous?"

"Oh yea, those texts were really scandalous wondering if you husband was dead or not" Jamie said

"You would never have called and texted Casey nearly twenty times before you got shot"

"Yea I used to think we were invincible, clearly not"

"We had close calls before Eddie" Jamie said

"But I had never admitted that I couldn't live without you those times" Eddie said looking down

"Aw Eddie" Jamie said hugging her

"I've never been scared for you to go to work even when Price put a hit out on you but today Jamie, I was terrified and I hate admitting that" Eddie said

"It's ok to be scared" Jamie said

"I guess, I think I'm gonna talk to Sarge see if we can ride together for a few when you come back" Jamie said

"Huh, you're worried too?" Eddie asked a small smile growing

"Of course I am, I saw you go down those stairs and talk about my stomach being in my throat. I was worried today too but I had to do my job and I trust Casey with my life" Jamie said

"I trust him too, I guess I overreacted" Eddie

"You? What? No?" Jamie said laughing

"Oh shut up" Eddie said laughing

"You know I don't mind checking in with you but how about we try not to have to expand our phone plan tomorrow" Jamie said

"I'll only call Casey five times tomorrow" Eddie said

"That's fair" Jamie said

"But Eddie seriously, I just want you to know that I want you talk to me when you're feeling like this" Jamie said

"I'm working through it, I wanted to call more but I restrained myself" Eddie said

"Good job" Jamie said kissing Eddie

"Thanks for being food about all" Eddie said gesturing

"Of course Eddie" Jamie said seriously "I just wish this was one thing I didn't have to help you through" Jamie said

"Me too" Eddie said "But I'm glad you're so understanding" Eddie said

* * *

So I wanted to give you guys an update even if it's a little shorter. Some of Chapter 2 of Partners and Flashbacks will go into detail about my thoughts on Jamie's thoughts about Vinny's death.

The next chapter will kick off the holiday season and who knows what magical things will happen.

I promise it will get happier and angsty and happier. I've enjoyed challenging myself in writing more serious and I hope you are all enjoying it as well.

 **Don't forget to leave some reviews and I am taking requests for this story to fill in gaps between the big plots I want to do. So just let me know!**


	7. Chapter 7

"So you're gonna come and meet me then we'll go to dinner" Jamie asked finishing his cereal and coffee

It was the day before Thanksgiving and Eddie had been doing better but she still was working through everything. She had started physical therapy and had a few appointments with the same guy Danny saw about his PTSD and it really helped her put it into perspective. It wasn't an overnight fix but it allowed her to talk through what she was feeling with an objective party. Jamie had wanted to go with her for both therapies but she refused. She hadn't been allowed to drive yet so Danny took her to see his guy and Linda took her to physical therapy after the first appointment, since Jamie had all but demanded to go to. He wanted to know what she could and couldn't do and what limitations she still had on her shoulder. He helped her stretch it every night and massage it and Eddie wasn't confined to the sling the whole day anymore.

Today was going to be her first day back in the precinct, she wasn't cleared for desk duty yet but she had to get fitted for a new vest and Jamie needed a new one since his had hit it's 'experation date' and there was no way either was going to wait and see what happened.

"Is this a date Mr. Reagan?" Eddie asked laughing

"What constitutes a date Mrs. Reagan?"

"Hot wife, new shoes. NYPD tactical vest" Eddie said lughing

"That vest is the sexiest thing you've ever worn since it keeps you alive" Jamie said getting up from the table and kissing her

"It's weird going back in. I haven't been there in what three weeks? I mean half the precinct has come to see me but it'll be weird"

"Once you're there it'll be fine. You sure you don't want Pop going in with you?" Jamie asked

"Stop worrying, I'll be fine. It's a subway Jamie, I've taken them before. I'll head over to the precinct after physical therapy"

"At least text me when you're close so I can make sure I'm back" Jamie said

"You worry to much" Eddie said handing him his water bottle

"It's cause I love you" Jamie said

"I love you too lambchop" Eddie said kissing him

"You and your damn nicknames, I still laugh thinking about that day. Us, it felt natural"

"I mean you pulling a gun out of the back of you waistband wearing an expensive suit was certainly a sight to see" Eddie said

"You looked pretty got too, that hot pink lip gloss was a real turn on" Jamie said

"And the gun?"

"Even hotter" Jamie said running a hand up her back

"You don't have time for that" Eddie said with an evil grin

"I think traffic will be bad" Jamie said not taking his hands off her

"But you're a boy scout, you can't be late"

"Car won't start" Jamie mumbled

"Oh I think something's starting" Eddie said giggling

Jamie was about to suggest that they head back upstairs when his phone rang.

"See, you're late" Eddie said laughing

"Dammit" Jamie said looking at his phone "What Dugan?" He answered

"Hey my battery died can you pick me up on your way?" Casey asked

"You serious?" Jamie asked a little annoyed

"Yea positive"

"Yea give fifteen and I'll be there" Jamie said not waiting for his answer

"Gotta go?" Eddie asked smirking

"It's not my fault my wife gets me all worked up before work" Jamie said kissing her again

"There will be plenty of that when we get home from our date tonight" Eddie said

"I'm holding you too that Mrs. Reagan" Jamie said

"Of course, no go" Eddie said turning him towards the door

* * *

Thanks for picking me up, I really do appreciate it even if you weren't happy.

"Oh no, it's fine" Jamie said laughing, realizing he wasn't the nicest to his partner earlier

"Eddie and I were...busy" Jamie said laughing

"Oh, sorry was everything ok?" Casey asked innocently

"Casey" Jamie said

"What? Oh, copy that" Casey said blushing

"It's ok, Eddie was teasing anyway"

"I don't need details"

"Just wait till you get your own wife"

"I'm 25 let's let rush things"

"Sorry you're not falling in love with your partner" Jamie said

"Yea he's not that good looking and kinda full of himself" Casey said laughing

"You've been spending too much time with Eddie" Jamie said

They pulled up to the precinct and went in and got changed and ready for roll call.

"I'll meet you in there I have to go talk to Renzulli really quick" Jamie said

Casey nodded and left for the roll call room

"Hey Sarge" Jamie said knocking on his mentors door

"Hey Reagan how you and Eddie making out?"

"We're doing better, she's healing good and we're talking through things. She's actually coming in to get fitted for her new vest. We both are, mine's pretty worn and I got the notice I need a new one" Jamie said

"It'll be good to see her back here. We miss her around her. Someone needs to put Maldonado in his place"

"She's good at that" Jamie said

"Are you ok with her coming back?"

"Of course I am, she wanted to put her papers in the first day she was home but I told her she needed to sleep on it. She hasn't brought it up since and she's stopped calling me ten times each tour, I think she just had to work through everything"

"You doing ok?" Tony asked him

"I'm good Sarge. I even talked about Joe and Vinny. I've matured" Jamie said smirking

"You'll always be my rookie"

"Sarge I'm touched"

"I'm serious Reagan. You two need help you reach out"

"I know and we're ok. I promise" Jamie said

"Good" Tony said "Eddie ready to come back?"

"She hasn't talked about getting cleared which I think means she's not ready but won't admit it but getting her new vest I think is a step in the right direction"

"She'll come around, she's too good to lose" Tony said

"I agree. Just make her feel welcome today, she's a little nervous about coming in"

"She had no reason to be"

"We know that but she doesn't" Jamie said

"Alright kid go in for roll call, can give then young ones reason to think it's ok to be late for roll call. Speaking of which, you can Casey both late today?"

"His battery died, I had to pick him up"

"He's on your way Reagan, doesn't add extra time"

"I overslept" Jamie

"Sure you did" Tony said smirking "I'm glad to see you are picking up some of the romancing skills I taught you all those years ago"

"Here we go" Jamie said rolling his eyes

* * *

Jamie and Casey had been on patrol for a while when they got a call to the fancier area of their precinct.

"Sounded like a domestic so be careful"

"Of course" Casey said

They knocked on the door and announced themselves.

"NYPD drop the knife" Jamie yelled as him and Casey immediately put their guns up

"Whoa you can put down the knife" the wife said

"Ma'am what's your name and what seems to be the problem"

"Sophie, My husband won't back away from the turkey and my mother won't back away from the turkey and I'm seven and a half months pregnant" The woman said frantically yelling

"Sir you need to put the knife down" Casey said

"I, I can't" He yelled

"What's your name?" Jamie asked

"Bill"

"Ok Bill you need to drop the knife, you just were trying to get Thanksgiving together right? You don't want anyone to get hurt"

"I was just trying to help my wife, but my bitch of a mother in law things I can't do a damn thing right"

"With good reason, you're holding me here against my will, you're terrorizing my daughter. Why are you still here?"

"And what's your name?" Jamie asked the mother in law

"Louise, now officer please get rid of him, I would shoot him if I were you. He's unstable"

"Sargent" Jamie said getting more annoyed with this lady

"MOM!" The daughter yelled

"Bill you gotta put the knife down ok?" Jamie said trying to ease the tension

"I just wanted to prove to you that I can take care of you and the baby" Bill said starting to cry

"Bill right now you need to take care of yourself" Casey said

"But she doesn't think I can provide for them since I lost my job"

"My mother-in-law isn't a big fan of me either. I understand. It's not easy, but you wanting to protect your unborn baby is no different than her wanting to protect her own daughter. Put the knife down and we can talk about it" Jamie said inching closer to him

Jamie looked at Casey and nodded and Jamie charged at Bill and got the knife out of his hands.

"Officer please don't hurt him, please. He's harmless, he wouldn't hurt anyone. It all started after his company laid off a bunch of people, he got really depressed after that" Sophie said crying

"Come on Bill, we're going go get you some help" Jamie said as they walked him out to their RMP.

"I hope your taking him away for a long time" Louise yelled

"Why don't you calm down" Casey said

Jamie and Casey took Bill to the hospital and while they were waiting his wife walked in.

"Sargent Reagan" She said quietly

"Yes Mrs. White" Jamie said turning around

"He wouldn't hurt anyone, I was scared he was going to hurt himself but then my mother started yelling at him and it got out of hand. Please he doesn't need to be arrested"

"We had to bring him here, it's protocol. It sounds like they care going to keep him overnight since he was a threat, it will then be up to the DA's office what they do after that" Jamie said

"Please, I've been trying to get him help"

"It looks like you both needed some in getting him here" Jamie said

"I know a guy up at one of the live in places, I can put you in contact with him if your husband is able to stay home he can recommend outpatient options" Jamie said writing his friends information on the back of his business card

"Thank you" She said taking the card

Jamie and Casey had just gotten back to their RMP when his phone rang.

"You drive" Jamie said tossing the keys to Casey, who had a shocked expression

"Yea, yea save it. I've been hearing that speech from Eddie for years"

"Hey babe" Jamie said answering it

"Hey I'm on my way, take your time though. I know it's a little earlier than I thought. The shoulder was a little stiff so they didn't want to push it too much in PT" Eddie said

"What did they say about the stiffness?" Jamie asked

"Nothing, it can be common. We worked mostly on stretching it. It does feel a little better now"

"Ok, you still up for going out?"

"You better not be bailing on me, Reagan" Eddie said

"I'm not! Just making sure you were ok" Jamie said

"I'm fine, you back yet or still out"

"Out, had to take a guy to the hospital. We're heading in now"

"Ok, I'll see you soon. Love you" Eddie said

"Love you too" Jamie said hanging up

"Eddie ok?" Casey asked

"Yea she had some shoulder stiffness and it hurt but she said that they moved it and stretched it through the stiffness and she's fine and I better still be taking her out later" Jamie said laughing

"Where are you taking her?"

"There's a newish restaurant that opened that she's been wanting to try, apparently they have good desserts"

"You'll have to let me know how it is" Casey said

"Yea you got a date?" Jamie asked

"Um no" Casey said

"Gonna take your mom out?" Jamie asked laughing

"Yes it's almost her birthday but no"

"What I gotta guess?" Jamie asked "Oh you're hoping to ask someone out. So who is it?" Jamie asked smirking

"Just a girl"

"That describes half the population of New York. You sound like Jack by the way"

"She works in the DA's office, I met her when I was there all the time for the one trial I had to testify in. She's in law school and works part time there"

"So what's the problem then?" Jamie asked

"She's outta my league"

"Don't let that stop you"

"True Eddie's out of your league"

"Yea, she is" Jamie said laughing as Casey pulled into the precinct parking lot

"Ask her Case, don't wait. You really like her, go for it" Jamie asked

"Thanks Jamie" Casey said a little confused

"Your wife getting shot puts things into perspective. If you really like her don't wait to tell her" Jamie said

"You ok?" Casey asked

"I'm good, just don't waste any time wondering if you like her or not"

"We're not you and Janko, Reagan. I strictly only know her from a work perspective

"Alright, just giving you some advice" Jamie said laughing

"I appreciate it" Casey said

"I gotta go meet Eddie to get our vests fitted"

"So much fun" Casey said

"Real blast" Jamie said

They walked into the precinct. The hospital had their Bill and another set of partners were tasked with staying with him. Jamie was in his office and Casey was at his desk when Eddie walked in.

"Eddie!" Casey said happily

He had been to see her a few times after the hospital, she had quickly become a good friend just like Jamie was.

"Hey Case" Eddie said tentitivley

"How are you?" Casey asked, giving her a hug

"I'm good, ready to get back I think"

"Jamie said you were having issues with your shoulder?"

"Yea it's just been stuff from not using it. He just worries too much"

"Tell me about it" Casey said laughing

The rest of the precinct came up to welcome Eddie back and she was feeling a little overwhelmed when Jamie walked out to see what had everyone standing around.

"Hey Eddie" Jamie said walking up and kissing her

"Jamie" Eddie said looking into his eyes

He nodded, knowing this was a lot for her and led her to his office. They walked in and closed the door.

"Thank you" Eddie said sitting in his chair

Jamie just looked at her and raised an eye.

"It's comfier than the one you force guests to sit on"

"Up, I gotta finish that paperwork first" Jamie said pointing his thumb in the direction behind him

Eddie got up but before Jamie could push himself in closer, Eddie said on his lap

"This would go faster if you sat on the other side of my desk or even at your own"

Eddie gave him a fake pout but got up.

"I, uh have your old vest in my locker. You need to turn it in" Jamie said

"Right" Eddie said, knowing she hadn't seen it since the scene where she got shot

"I can do that for you if you need me to" Jamie said not looking up from his papers

"No, I can do it. I want to see it" Eddie said

"Ok" Jamie said nodding and signing his name on the paper

"Alright, all done" Jamie said getting up "Come on shorty"

Jamie walked into the men's locker room and got Eddie's vest and they went to the conference room where they were told to report to.

"Can I see it?" Eddie asked

The officer that was supposed to fit them wasn't there yet so they had a few moments to kill. Jamie handed her the vest but never took his eyes off her.

Eddie looked at the vest in her hands, it didn't seem like her vest, it felt too heavy and foreign. She knew immediately where the bullet hole would be. The bullet had been removed and tested against the bullet that killed Dunleevy but it left a nasty hole in the lower left side

She ran her hand over the hole and took a breath in.

"Ed?" Jamie asked gently

She let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding and stared at the hole.

"It saved my life" Eddie said still staring at the hole

"It did" Jamie said taking a step closer to her

Eddie pulled the vest up to her chest and hugged it to herself. Jamie lightly put a hand on her upper back and looked down at her.

"Wow" Eddie said

"Talk to me, what's going on?" Jamie asked, worry evident in his voice

"It just doesn't seem like mine. I know it sounds crazy but the innocence is gone"

Jamie just looked at her like she was crazy.

"Like not knowing what it felt like to get shot. I mean I put this vest on everyday on the job, and never thought twice about it. It was just as much part of my uniform as having a pen in my summons book was. But I'm standing here holding it because it's made of Kevlar, because it was meant to save my life"

"You emotionally attached to it?" Jamie asked confused

"No, I don't think so. It's, and don't laugh ok? It's more that I put this on everyday thinking that I wouldn't be the one to get shot. I know we all make peace with it, but you don't wake up and think oh hey I'm gonna get shot today. It's more that I was so dependent on it but wearing it was like walking or breathing, just something that happened. Something no one thought about" Eddie said

"You're going a little philosophical on a tac vest, Ed. Everything we have on the job serves a purpose. You're vests' purpose is to catch a bullet. And it did." Jamie said

"I don't think you know what I mean" Eddie said as the officer walked in to fit them.

"Sargent Reagan, Officer Janko. Welcome back Janko" Sargent Mendoza said, head of equipment

"So Reagan, yours just needs as an upgrade, pretty standard. Anything you want to chance?"

"I don't think so Sarge. Same specs I've worn since I was a rookie. They've just updated models"

"Alright, stand up" He instructed Jamie

Eddie was still sitting there holding her vest and Jamie hardly took an eye off her while he was getting fitted.

Once Jamie was done, it was Eddie's turn.

"Alright Officer Janko, you're turn"

Eddie stood up and gently laid her current vest on the desk.

"First one?" Mendoza asked her

Eddie just shook her head yes.

"Having your vest protect you, it makes you feel like you cheated death. I've been there myself. Don't get reckless just cause you feel like you cheated death. I started thinking I could drive 90 miles and hour everyday after I survived mine. My wife quickly told me otherwise"

"Cheated death?" Eddie asked knowing that's how she had been feeling

"Like you don't know why you're still here. How this bundle of fabric could keep you safe"

"That's how I've felt, I didn't know how to say it" Eddie said

"It's ok, it'll pass. Just stick close to your family and friends. Reagan seems like he's been taking good care of you"

"He has, we've talked about this but I never knew what I was feeling but cheating death captured it perfectly Sarge"

"I'm sorry I thought it was just survivors guilt Eddie" Jamie said, mentally kicking himself for not picking up on it

"It's ok, I didn't know how to express it. Did you feel like that too?"

"I was more angry and guilty. I figured I was supposed to be here to suffer for losing a partner"

"That stubborn Reagan attitude of wanting to protect everyone"

"I thought I screwed up, I deserved to have the guilt of losing my partner, I didn't feel like I cheated anything"

"Oh" Eddie said, never hearing him say it that way before

"I've done a lot of post-shooting vest fittings and everyone feels different and processes it differently. No two of us are alike" Mendoza said

He finished with Eddie and took her old vest and left Eddie and Jamie in the conference room.

"You ok?" Jamie asked

"Yea, I think so. It was first vest, just a little sentimental" Eddie said

"You certainly didn't go easy on it" Jamie said giving her a smirk

"You're such a jerk" Eddie said laughing

Jamie didn't know what it was, but Eddie seemed different, maybe even lighter. Like getting to say goodbye to her vest somehow helped her process everything that had happened.

"Let me go get changed and then we'll go to dinner" Jamie said

"I'm gonna go sit in your chair and fill out my paperwork" Eddie said kissing him on the lips

"Of course you are" Jamie said as he opened the conference room door.

Jamie quickly got changed and headed out into the lobby.

"Whoa you two look nice" Kara said walking up to them

"We're going on a date" Eddie said

"Cute" Kara said smirking

"Have fun you two, don't stay out too late"

"Thanks mom" Jamie said laughing as they walked out of the precinct.

* * *

They were sitting at dinner, having just ordered. Eddie had ordered a hamburger with mac and cheese on it and Jamie had ordered a steak.

"You feel ok? You didn't want a steak" Jamie said

"Mac and cheese ON the hamburger, Reagan. It's their specialty and it looks amazing" Eddie said

"Ok, ok" Jamie said laughing and holding his hands up in defense

"If you behave maybe I'll give you a bite" Eddie said

"Sure you won't" Jamie said smirking "You'll fall in love with it and I'll get squat"

"You're not off to a good start in trying it" Eddie said laughing

"This is nice, I feel like we hadn't had a moment together once we got back from Hawaii"

"We didn't have a whole lot, we were both working a lot and then you got shot. This is nice though. Us back together"

"I missed it. I missed feeling like your wife"

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way, I just wanted to do everything I could to protect you since I wasn't there when you got shot"

"I'm ok an you're ok. It's enough Jamie. I know you saw me get shot shot, it doesn't matter that you were at the other end of the hall. I know you worry out of love" Eddie said

"No more shop talk, ok babe?" Jamie asked

"Of course" Eddie said

Their appetizers came and they split them down the middle without even communicating it. There was a couple sitting next to them who just looked over at them confused.

"Why do people find that so weird?" Eddie asked

"Cause it's probably not normal" Jamie said laughing "Most people can't communicate solely with blinks and looks"

"But it'll come in handy when we have kids" Eddie said

Jamie just looked at her from across the table, his expression showed he was about to jump out of his seat.

"No, no. At least I don't think so" Eddie said

"It'll happen" Jamie said

"That's what I want to talk to you about" Eddie said playing with her napkin

"You don't want kids anymore?" Jamie asked surprised

"No oh God no, if this whole incident showed me anything it's how much I want a family with you Reagan"

Jamie let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and took a bite of his salad.

"What if I don't come back right away. What if we actually try to get pregnant and I just either leave the NYPD or take some more time off"

"It's understandable that you're scared to come back" Jamie said

"It's not just that, we wouldn't have to worry about shifts and extended tours and both of us possibly getting hurt. I think it makes sense" Eddie said

"You sure you really wanna give up being a cop, you love your job"

"Loved"

"Eddie what's going on?" Jamie asked her

"It just made me realize that I'm not so sure I wanna put my life on the line like that and I know this is gonna sound terrible but it's not like anyone gives a damn about cops, so why should I sacrifice myself like that" Eddie said looking away from Jamie

"Hey Eds look at me, please" Jamie said gently as he put his hand on top of hers "You know I'll support you no matter what but I don't think you should turn in your papers. All of this is still new, I think you need to go back to work before you make that decision" Jamie said

"I'm scared" Eddie said so quietly, Jamie barely heard her

"Sometimes a little fear is a good thing. It's ok to be scared Eddie"

"Alright I'll wait until I'm cleared and go back"

"Just know I'll support you no matter what" Jamie said as their waiter walked over and placed their food in front of them

Eddie looked at his steak and then at her hamburger and started to cut off a piece so she could trade with Jamie. He just laughed at started cutting his steak to give her some. They switched and Jamie just looked at her.

"I knew you can't resist a steak"

"Well I want all of the food" Eddie said

"Of course you do" Jamie said laughing

"This is good" Jaime said taking a bite of the hamburger

"See!" Eddie said "Eddie you were so right"

"Here we go" Jamie said rolling his eyes

Jamie and Eddie finished their dinner and decided to split dessert. After they were finished eating they headed home to get their stuff ready for tomorrow.

"I'm excited for tomorrow" Eddie said as they were packing their bags for the next day

"Me too, we're gonna go to the soup kitchen and then go to my dads" Jamie said

"I'm glad we started that" Eddie said

"Me too, remember how nervous you were?"

"I was terrified. You have no idea Reagan"

"I hope Danny doesn't out anymore condoms in the hood of my sweatshirt"

"You were bright red" Eddie said laughing

"That was awful" Jamie said

"I thought it was funny" Eddie said

"You just liked watching me catch hell"

"Yea" Eddie said kissing him

"Come on Mrs. Reagan, lets go to bed" Jamie said

* * *

Jamie had woken up and turned on his and hugged Eddie.

"Hey" Eddie said waking up

"Happy Thanksgiving babe" Jamie said

"Happy Thanksgiving lambchop" Eddie said kissing

She rolled over and half laid on him and kissed.

"Definitely thankful for this" Jamie said kissing her deeper

After they finally got up, they had to get ready to go to the soup kitchen. Eddie put on jeans and a plaid button down, as did Jamie.

"You still help with your hair?" He asked her

"Yes please" Eddie said tossing her brush at him "I'm almost there. We're working on it in PT" Eddie said

"Just be patient Janko, it'll come and I don't mind" Jamie said picking the brush up

"I promised myself I wouldn't be emotional today" Eddie said

"And" Jamie asked her, confused

"And you're making me fail" Eddie said sitting back on the bed

"What did I do?" Jamie asked

"You're you. All amazing and wonderful" Eddie said

"Wow no sarcasm when you called me amazing, I'm shocked"

"You literally haven't had a serious bone in your body for weeks" Eddie said rolling her eyes

"One of us needs to keep things light" Jamie said brushing her hair into a ponytail"

"I will promise not to cry today" Eddie said

"Ok" Jamie said twisting the hair tie around "How'd I do?" He asked as Eddie got up

"Pretty good Reagan" Eddie said laughing

"Told'ya I'd get better" Jamie said

"Stick to your day job" Eddie said laughing

* * *

After they met the rest of the family at the soup kitchen, they all went back to Frank's for the annual football game.

"I wish I could beat your ass again this year Reagan" Eddie said poking him in the stomach

"Next year babe" Jamie said wrapping his arms around her waist

"You two can't keep your hands off each other, it's disgusting" Danny said

"Umm you're one to talk. Remember the one time you promised me ice cream after hitting a walk-off home run but it was really just so you could go suck face with Linda … with me in the back seat" Jamie said laughing

"Danny!" Eddie said laughing

"What? I'd been grounded and he was a good cover"

"In my defense it was already dark and I didn't know he was in the back seat" Linda said

"I was told I could get whatever toppings wanted if I kept my mouth shut till we got there" Jamie said

"So what happened?" Eddie asked

"Jamie got hungry and mad and started yelling that he was gonna run away from Danny" Frank said walking into the room

"I was horrified" Linda said laughing

"Dad!" Jack said laughing

"If only the kid could've kept his mouth shut" Danny said laughing

"Did you ever get your ice cream?" Eddie asked

"Yea and then I still ratted him out to dad" Jamie said laughing

"He was a brat" Danny said

"Yea but I'm the whole reason Linda gave you a second chance" Jamie said smugly

"No" Danny scoffed

"Yea he was" Linda said

"Danny you've been in the dog house since you met Linda" Henry said

"Since he was born" Erin said laughing

"How'd you get them back together"

"Danny sent me to her door with flowers and a speech" Jamie said laughing

"He was only what, eight? And just too cute to say no to" Linda said

"See Danny, I'm the best thing that ever happened to you" Jamie said

"What ever helps you sleep at night" Danny said

"Alright, is it time to play ball yet?" Sean said

"You girls aren't winning this year" Jack said

"Yea, Eddie can't tackle me" Jamie said

"You want me to do it for you?" Erin asked Eddie

"Please, he's all yours" Eddie said

"You could pretend you want me to win"

"That would be no fun" Eddie said

"Alright out you all go, I need to finish getting dinner ready" Henry said

"How are we doing teams?" Nicky asked

"What about use against the old people?" Sean asked

"Excuse you" Danny said to his youngest

"I like that plan" Jamie said walking over to Nicky and the boys

"Um Uncle Jamie you're on the other team"

"What?!" Jamie asked shocked

"Yea you're all married now" Jack said

"Ouch" Jamie said laughing walking over to Erin, Danny and Linda

"You got rejected from the kids table? You used to beg to be with the adults"

"Yea but being an adult is no fun" Jamie said laughing

"Alright are we gonna stand here and gossip or are we gonna play some football?" Nicky asked

"She talks a big game" Jamie said

"Alright let's do it" Danny yelled

Danny, Erin, Jamie and Linda ended up winning which had Jack and Sean disappointed that they lost two years in a row.

"Can you guys have some kids already, we need reinforcements" Jack said as he walked by Eddie sitting on the porch

"Not you two" Jamie said walking up behind him

"Good game babe" Eddie said kissing him

"Yea I didn't have some hot blonde illegally tackle me this year" Jamie said kissing her back

"Damn shame" Eddie said laughing

"Oh I know" Jamie said giving her a look

"No, uh-uh you remember last year" Eddie said

"Danny put a condom in the hood of my sweatshirt, I remember" Jamie said "I was kidding"

"Sure you were, go shower. You stink, Reagan" Eddie said

"Wanna join?" Jamie asked her

"No, no beat it" Eddie said smacking his butt

"You two even disgust me sometimes" Erin said

"You really want me to go there?" Jamie asked raising his eyebrow

"This I have to hear" Nicky said walking up

"If your uncle values his life he won't say anything" Erin said looking at him

"I'll tell you later" Jamie said laughing

"Go, shower" Eddie said pushing him into the house

"You wanna go first?" Jamie asked her

"No go, you're all muddy" Eddie said

* * *

Jamie walked into his childhood bedroom and saw Eddie laying across it.

"Your turn" Jamie said leaning down to kiss her

"I'm comfy" Eddie said

"No shower, no dinner" Jamie said

"Don't be mean" Eddie said sitting up

"Those long summer days where we played outside all day mom would bring dinner out to the patio cause we weren't allowed in the house" Jamie said

"You guys got that dirty?" Eddie asked laughing

"Oh yea there was always mud involved. Or we would be all sweaty from playing whatever sport we were going pro in that day" Jamie said

"I kinda actually can't wait for that" Eddie said

"Really?" Jamie asked surprised

Eddie had been the one that wanted to wait, he was more than ready for a family.

"Yea, you know. I don't want to keep waiting for tomorrow, all in and all that"

"You know I'm ready" Jamie said

"Are you?" Eddie asked giving him a wicked smile and reaching for the towel wrapped around Jamie's waist

"Whoa Janko" Jamie said laughing

"I'm just teasing you, walls are thin remember?" Eddie said remembering their teasing from last year

"Go get showered" Jamie said rolling his eyes

Nicky dried and did Eddie's hair as Jamie walked in to give them the five minute warning to dinner.

"I totally could've done that" Jamie said walking in smirking at his niece doing his wife's hair on his childhood bed.

"Oh no, I trusted you with my life but definitely not with a curling iron" Eddie said laughing

"You two are gonna be that old couple yelling at each other during breakfast in a diner cause you can't hear" Nicky said smiling

"That's the plan. My shorty for life" Jamie said

"Lambchop" Eddie said genuinely touched

"I don't know if you two are disgusting or adorable" Nicky said laughing

"I prefer adorable" Eddie said

"Have you seen the video of the old guy doing his wife's makeup cause she's blind, cause that's adorable" Nicky said

"Oh no Reagan, don't you dare get any ideas. I would look like a clown" Eddie said laughing

"Cute clown" Jamie said laughing

"No, uh-uh I hate clowns. Do not ever bring them up" Eddie said

"Good to know" Jamie said smirking

"Don't you dare" Eddie said laughing

"Alright we better get down for dinner" Jamie said holding his hand out for Eddie

Nicky just laughed and rolled her eyes.

"I look ok?" Eddie asked

"Beautiful" Jamie said kissing her

Eddie had on dark wash jeans, cranberry colored heeled-booties and a cranberry printed sweater. Nicky had done her hair in soft waves.

"You look pretty good yourself Mr. Reagan"

"Thanks" Jamie said

He had on a dark green pullover sweater with a matching plaid button down underneath with some jeans.

Jamie and Eddie walked through the kitchen and each grabbed a dish to carry out as Jack finished setting the table.

"You all clean up nicely" Frank said taking his seat

"Gee thanks dad" Erin said laughing

"Here you go" Jamie said pulling Eddie's chair out for her

"Thanks" Eddie said sitting down

"Another good looking bird" Henry said putting the bird on the table

"Looks great Pop" Jamie said

"Well Eddie was a big help" Henry said

"It all looks good" Linda said

"Alright who goes first for being thankful?" Frank asked

"Linda you wanna start?" Erin asked

Linda started and they went around the table until they got to Henry.

"I am thankful that I get to have another year kicking around with all of you, and that I was able to see Jamie and Eddie's beautiful wedding" Henry said looking to Eddie next to him

"Ok, here it goes" Eddie said letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She looked at Jamie and he gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm really thankful for all of you, for accepting and loving as a Reagan. I've really enjoyed getting to be apart of this family. I honestly …. honestly don't know what I would have done with out all of you not only during the wedding process but also the last few weeks. I'm also thankful for bullet proof vests and especially for getting to marry my best friend" Eddie said leaning towards Jamie. He took her hand in his and she cleared her emotions. "And that he has been the most patient, kind and loving husband not only in the last few weeks but also since I've known him. I know I wasn't the easiest to deal with the last few weeks, and I wanted to thank all of you for helping me" Eddie said swallowing hard

Jamie squeezed her hand and kissed her head "love you" Jamie whispered barely loud enough for Eddie to hear.

"Jamie you're up" Frank said

"I'm most thankful for getting to marry my best friend, and bullet proof vests. They have a whole new extra meaning this year. I'm most thankful that Eddie was ok, and that she let me help her work through some of it" Jamie said, never releasing her hand

Frank looked at them both and finally felt confident that they were on the other side of it, they had been through a lot in their short marriage but they were able to be stronger together.

They finished going around and Frank led off saying Grace, Jamie and Eddie never separating their hands.

* * *

After they finished eating dinner they all watched the football game and everyone got ready for bed. One of their traditions was that everyone slept over to decorate for Christmas the next day.

"I see the turkey pants made a return" Jamie said as him and Eddie were getting ready for bed

"I got you a present" Eddie said tossing him a ball of fabric.

"Turkey pants?" Jamie asked looking at her laughing

"You needed a pair too" Eddie said

"Thank you" Jamie said slipping them on over his boxers

"Isn't that my shirt?" Jamie asked raising an eyebrow as Eddie slipped on the threadbare thermal shirt she had "borrowed" from Jamie years ago when they were still partners

"So what if it is?" Eddie asked

"It still looks good on you, maybe even better off" Jamie said smirking

"Yea well it's staying on, it's cold"

"I mean I would keep you warm" Jamie said

"I have no doubt you would but Danny has already walked in on us once, I don't think we need to relive it" Eddie said

"Ugh don't remind me" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"Come on, Pop promised us his special hot chocolate"

"You realize it's powered hot chocolate with a splash of baileys, right?"

"That's all?!" Eddie asked shocked

"That's all" Jamie said laughing

"Well I love it" Eddie said

"Then we better go get some"

Jamie and Eddie got their hot chocolates and Eddie was laying between Jamie's legs on the sofa while they waited for everyone else to join for a movie.

"Happy Thanksgiving Eddie" Jamie said kissing her

"Happy Thanksgiving Jamie" Eddie said kissing his back

"Alright break it up you two" Danny said walking into the family room

* * *

I'm sorry for the delay in updating. I have been really busy at my internship and I have been having some writer's block. I hope you all enjoy, don't forget to review!


	8. Chapter 8

All of the Reagans sat around watching a Christmas movie before everyone slowly started falling asleep.

"I think we should all go to bed" Henry said getting up

"Jamie wake up" Eddie said untangling herself from him.

Jamie just made some incoherent noises and turned his head away from him.

"I will leave him here" Eddie said

"I would" Danny said

"Jack, Sean. Time for bed" Linda said shaking both boys

"Goodnight" Nicky said yawning as she stood up

"Jamie, get up. It's time for bed" Eddie said shaking his shoulder

"What Janko?" Jamie mumbled

"So pleasant" Erin said laughing

"Son listen to your wife" Frank said laughing

"Reagan I will put your hand in warm water" Eddie said

"You want two glasses, I'll happily go get them" Danny said laughing

"I'm awake" Jamie said rubbing his eyes

"Come on" Eddie said holding her hand out

"Good night everyone" Eddie said as Jamie took her hand and got up

"Goodnight" Jamie said

They both went up and got ready for bed.

"Can you help me put the other pillow under my shoulder?" Eddie asked

"Sure. You ok?" Jamie asked getting up from the bed

"Yea, this bed is just smaller so I want to protect it" Eddie said

"Ok roll" Jamie said as he put the pillow under her

"Night babe" Jamie said leaning down to kiss her

"Night lambchop" Eddie said kissing him back

* * *

"Morning" Eddie said half rolling onto Jamie

"How'd you sleep?" Jamie asked, kissing her

"Good, no nightmares" Eddie said

"Eds that's great" Jamie said wrapping both hands around her back

"Getting my new vest, being with everyone yesterday. I needed those things" Eddie said

"Good, I'm glad you were ok on our first Thanksgiving that we were married" Jamie said

"I was serious though Jamie, thank you for being so patient with me"

"You needed time, I understood that. I wished I could have done more" Jamie said

"Even the days you let me just lay in your arms helped" Eddie said and Jamie kissed her again

"I love you Reagan"

"I love you too Janko"

"I'm so excited to be married for this Christmas" Eddie said

"Why's that?" Jamie asked

"We get to start our own traditions, together. I'm gonna need you to not laugh but it feels more magical this year" Eddie said as Jamie just looked at her

"Oh come on" Eddie said shaking his shoulder

"I'm messing with you. I get that, I think" Jamie said laughing "It definitely is a special one" Jamie said

"We should probably get up, I can smell Linda's pancakes" Eddie said happily

"Of course you want food"

"No one turns down pancakes Reagan" Eddie said

Jamie just laughed and sat up.

Everyone gathered at the dining room table still clad in their pajamas and brought everything into the dining room.

"Mom you haven't made pancakes in forever" Jack said sitting down

"Maybe if you guys didn't have games or practices every Saturday we could have them more" Linda said setting the giant stack on the table

"This plate looks like it will make up for it" Sean said

"Yea you better share" Eddie said laughing

They said grace and started passing everything around.

"I for one would am thrilled we got through dinner yesterday without pulling a knife on anyone"

"Come again?" Erin said

"Husband pulled a knife on his mother in law because she insulted his cooking. He'd been a little unhinged since he lost his job. Poor dude needed some help"

"See and you thought your mother in law was bad" Eddie said laughing

"Casey and I were able to talk him down but the mother was still running her mouth, wife was pregnant" Jamie said

"Poor kid" Nicky said

"Hopefully he will get the help he needs" Linda said

"Wife didn't want to give up on him, despite what the mother said" Jamie said

"What a situation" Frank said

"It takes all kinds" Henry said

"Any injuries?" Danny asked

"Nope" Jamie said taking a bite of his pancake

"Thanks Danny" Jamie said smiling

"You feel ok Danny? I didn't think anyone was better than you" Eddie said smirking

"Whoa, here comes the new kid" Henry said laughing

"Funny Eddie" Danny said

* * *

Everyone cleaned up from breakfast and got ready for the day to decorate the house.

"Be careful ok?" Jamie asked putting Eddie's hair into a ponytail "I don't want you messing up your shoulder"

"I'm ok. And do you really think Erin or Linda would let me do anything to mess it up?" Eddie asked

"I guess not" Jamie said slipping his sweatshirt on once he put her brush down

"I like staying in your room, it's like the Boy Scout's Hotel" Eddie said smirking

"You ever gonna give that up ?" Jamie asked

"Nope, you'll always be my Eagle Scout" Eddie said

"And your white knight" Jamie said

"That too" Eddie said "And the worlds worst hair dresser"

"I tried!" Jamie said laughing as Eddie out on his zip-up Harvard sweatshirt

"You're getting dressed a lot better too" Jamie said

"Yea it's all getting easier, it's just my hair that I can't get right. You think we would go to the range one of these days?" Eddie asked

"Yea sure, if you think you're up for it" Jamie said

"I gotta try at some point" Eddie said

"So…" Jamie said

"I've decided right now not to put my papers in. I'll go back and see how it goes" Eddie said

"Good, I'm glad. It's ok to be scared Eddie" Jamie said

"I know" Eddie said nodding

"You ready?" Jamie asked her

"Yes" Eddie said as they walked down stairs to see Jack and Sean carrying the tree up

"I like this, puberty isn't all bad. They just are capable more now" Danny said

"Yea just wait for the attitude" Erin said looking at Nicky, who just rolled her eyes

"Aww but Danny would it really be Christmas without us arguing over whose way is the best to get it up the stairs" Jamie asked laughing and helping the boys

"Don't worry I'll find something else to bust your chops over" Danny said

"Oh I'm sure of that" Jamie said laughing

"Alright so where should we start?" Nicky asked

"Well I figured we could start in here, do everything but the tree until the boys come back in" Erin said

Everyone agreed and before the guys went outside Jamie quietly walked up to Erin and Linda and asked them to make sure that Eddie didn't over do it with her shoulder.

"She'll be fine. Now go fight with your brother" Linda said

* * *

"Jack, Sean, take the roof with me? Your dad's too old now" Jamie said

Jamie, Jack and Sean got up onto the roof with Danny bringing up the lights they needed to put on the edge of the house.

"Jamie it looks crooked" Henry said pausing his work on the manger scene

"What about now?" Jamie asked fixing the angel

"Little more to the left" Frank said

Eddie and Erin walked out and Eddie started to play the cha-cha slide on her phone and everyone started cracking up.

"Don't jump babe, you'll fall off the roof" Eddie said howling

"So funny. I don't see you up here" Jamie said

"My overprotective husband wouldn't approve. He's a real pain" Eddie said

Jamie just rolled his eyes and went back to the angel.

They had been decorating for a few hours when every decided it was time for a snack.

"Alright why don't you buys come in and get a snack and warm up a little and. We're more than halfway done decorating the house and then we can all do the tree together" Erin said

Jamie, Jack and Sean finished securing the lights on the roof and headed down the ladder.

"Slow down Sean" Danny said holding the latter

"Yea mom will kill dad if you fall off the roof. You already had a brain injury, I'm not sure you have enough brains left to spare" Jack said

Jamie tried not to laugh but he did anyway.

"Jack" Jamie tried to chastise

"You know whose watching you right?" Danny asked

"Dad seriously? We're a little old for that" Jack said

"That hasn't worked on me in years"

"It was only two" Jamie yelled down

"Whatever" Sean mumbled as Jack came down the ladder and then Jamie

"It's looking good" Eddie said walking over to Jamie "You need a nap at some point, you have a night tour"

"I know, I will don't worry. You should just hang out here tonight" Jamie said

"You'll need to sleep at some point"

"Stop worrying" Jamie said as he put his arm around her shoulders as they walked inside

"You're one to talk" Eddie said leaning into him

"Sling?" Jamie asked her

"I don't need it all the time. It's good to move it" Eddie said

"Alright, just checking" Jamie said

"I think I will stay tonight. I'll convince Danny and Erin to tell me more embarrassing stories about you"

"And they will happily tell you" Jamie said groaning

After they had lunch and cleaned up everyone went back to decorating

"So how'd you pull the Friday night shift?" Danny asked

"We're still down a few officers. Ed's not back, two went out on maternity leave, one of the other sergeants is sick" Jamie said

"12th sounds like you're falling apart over there"

"We kinda are. Miller still doesn't want to go out on the street" Jamie said "A lot of changes lately. I actually think I'm riding with McKenna since the Dugan's always go to the shore for Thanksgiving"

"Stealing your wife's partner?" Danny asked laughing

"She'll be thrilled" Jamie said laughing

"She seems to be doing better" Danny said as they were untangling the lights for the front walk

"I honestly think she is, she got fitted for her new vest and I think that took a lot of weight off of her. She said she wants to come back" Jamie said

"That's a step in the right direction" Danny said

"Yea, she wanted to turn her papers in there for a little" Jamie said

"I'm glad you two are ok after everything, it took Linda and I a little while after she got shot" Danny said

"That's because she had that weird therapist and I'm more patient and understanding that you are" Jamie said

"Whatever" Danny said tossing a string of lights at Jamie

A few hours later they were finished decorating when the girls came out.

"How's it look?" Henry asked

"Very nice" Erin said

"Is it time to light it?" Nicky asked

"Almost" Danny said

"Jack bring me the last set of lights" Jamie asked, up in the tree

"Why do I have a sinking feeling he's going to fall out?" Eddie asked, wrapping her jacket around her tighter

"Because he's accident prone" Danny said

"Leave him a lone" Erin said

"Alright Jack take this plug and just pull down ok, I got it wrapped as much as it would allow" Jamie said climbing back down"

"He made it" Eddie said

"What's wrong?" Jamie asked, walking over to everyone else

"We were all convinced you were gonna fall flat on your ass, your wife included" Danny said

"Thanks guys" Jamie said feigning hurt

"You did great babe" Eddie said

"Time to light?" Sean asked

"I think we're all set" Jamie said

Sean went over to the plug and waited for everyone to get ready.

"Ready?" Sean asked

Eddie was standing curled into Jamie who had taken his sweatshirt off, but was now cold and he had his arms wrapped around her, and her head was on his chest. Danny had one arm around Linda and the other around Jack. Frank and Henry were next to Erin and Nicky.

"Light it up Seany" Jamie said

Sean plugged it in and everyone stood on the sidewalk and admired their hard work.

"It's beautiful, I love the lights up the walkway" Eddie said cuddling into Jamie.

"We out do ourselves every year" Frank said smiling

"Jamie even got the angel straight" Henry said laughing

Jack and Sean high-fived and they all decided it was time to go in and decorate the tree.

"Babe you need to rest" Eddie said as they walked in

"But we're under mistletoe" Jamie said standing in the doorway with Eddie

"Well then" Eddie said, standing on her tippie toes to kiss him

"It looks great in here" Henry said

"Like Christmas exploded" Jamie said smiling

"That was the plan" Nicky said laughing

"How's the shoulder?" Jamie asked Eddie

"Good, I helped a little, moved the shoulder a little. It feels less stiff" Eddie said

"Good" Jamie said kissing her again

"Come on Uncle Jamie, you always open with us" Jack said sitting in front of a box of ornaments

"I can do a few but then I have to nap or your Aunt Eddie's gonna lose her mind" Jamie said sitting on the floor with them

"I'm just making sure you're safe" Eddie said

"I know" Jamie said nodding

"Wait you two, I have something for you" Erin said walking out of the room

She walked in with two wrapped boxes

"Um Er it's not Christmas yet" Jamie said taking the small box that Erin handed him

"Thanks Erin" Eddie said taking hers

"Well open them" Frank said smiling, knowing what they were

Jamie and Eddie opened their boxes which revealed identical wedding ornaments, it was their picture with their names and date engraved.

"One for your tree and one for dad's tree" Erin said

"Thank you Erin" Eddie said feeling tears spring to her eyes, she walked over to Erin and hugged her

"Of course" Erin said hugging her back tightly

"Thanks Er" Jamie said hugging his older sister

"Ed?" Jamie asked

"It's just really sweet and perfect and our first ornament as a married couple" Eddie said wiping her eyes

"Come here" Jamie said hugging her tightly

"Sorry, just happy to have these moments" Eddie said

"We're glad you're here too" Frank said

"Do the honors Eddie, anywhere you want on the tree" Henry said smiling

Jamie walked up behind her standing in front of the three and had a hand on the small of her back when she out their ornament right next to Mary and Frank's wedding ornament.

"Perfect spot" Jamie said kissing her cheek

"I thought so" Eddie said hugging him

"It's perfect" Erin said

"I think Jamie's kindergarten picture ornament should go right next to it" Danny said looking around in the box

"At least until they have a kid to put up there" Erin said

"Here we go" Jamie said rolling his eyes as he took the ornament from Danny

They hung some more and half way through the box when Jamie figured he probably should go take that name so he was ready for work.

"Alright I gotta go sleep" Jamie said

"I'm come up for a little" Eddie said

Jamie and Eddie were laying in his bed when Jamie rolled over to face her.

"You're supposed to be passed out" Eddie said

"I just want to make sure you're ok"

"Why?" Eddie asked

"You cried at Erin's present, I saw a few tears slip out Janko" Jamie said

"I was just really touched" Eddie said

"Come on, talk to me" Jamie said putting his hand on her hip

Eddie rolled over so she was looking at him now.

"Don't laugh" Eddie said

Jamie didn't say anything, he just nodded.

"I never had my picture on a tree" Eddie said

"Never?" Jamie asked

"No my mom would get our tress decorated professionally. I had a tree in my room when I was about 12 and I started putting sentimental ornaments on it but nope never made it on the main attraction"

"I'm sorry Janko" Jamie said wrapping his arm around her

"It's ok, I just was really touched" Eddie said

"I told you they are your family too" Jamie said

"I can't wait to have a tree together" Eddie said

"I know we still had our own apartments last year" Jamie said

"Oh I know we totally rushed it but I wouldn't change it for the world" Eddie said laughing

"Me either" Jamie said

"Go to sleep now, ok?" Eddie said

"Sure" Jamie said closing his eyes

Eddie closed hers for a little before she went back down stairs to help with the tree.

"Baby taking his nap?" Danny asked smirking

"Yes" Eddie said laughing

"I think I'm gonna hang out tonight and try and beat Pop at cards since Jamie has to work, as long as it's ok?" Eddie said

"You're always welcome Eddie" Frank said putting a hand on her shoulder

"Beating me however, well good luck" Henry said smiling

"I can't even begin to tell you how many times I had to listen to Jamie complain that he lost to you again" Eddie said laughing

"We should tell him I beat you just to mess with him" Eddie said smirking

"Now that plan I like" Danny said laughing

"She learns quick" Erin said

"Messing with Jamie has been a favorite activity of mine for years. We had the wildest debates on tour"

"Like what?" Jack asked

"Whether or not to remake Jaws, I thought there should be a CGI shark but Jamie said it was a classic that needed to be left alone"

"I agree with Aunt Eddie, they could do a really sick remake with technology today" Sean said

"Yea I'm with them" Jack said

"No you can't remake it" Danny said shocked

"You and Jamie agree?" Erin asked

"You don't?" He asked her back

"It really doesn't keep me up at night" Erin said

"What is with the two of you and Jaws?" Eddie asked

"It was the first 'scary' movie Joe and I watched with Jamie" Danny said

"Mom and dad were with me at a basketball tournament and the three of you didn't want to go" Erin said now remembering

"Jamie was sick" Danny said

* * *

 _"Are you sure you guys are going to be ok with him?" Mary asked her seventeen year old_

 _"Mom we'll be fine" Danny said_

 _"Just go" Joe said walking into the kitchen_

 _"Why do I think you guys are up to something?" Erin asked_

 _"Because we're gonna scare the flu out of Jamie" Danny said smirking_

 _"Excuse me Daniel?" Mary asked_

 _"Mom he will be fine, he's seven"_

 _"Exactly, he can't watch scary movies" Mary said_

 _"Mom, trust us" Joe said_

 _"Your thirteen year old telling you to trust you isn't reassuring" Frank said walking into the room_

 _"Mom Jamie will be fine. He won't be that scared. I don't want him sleeping in my bed" Danny said_

 _"Danny, Joe you know how much he was been looking forward to spending this weekend with you two. You both have been busy had haven't spend a lot of time with you lately. Don't torture him, let him enjoy this weekend. I know you were going to take him to the city before he got sick but you can still have fun without scaring him" Mary said_

 _"Yes mom" Danny said_

 _"We'll be good" Joe said_

 _"Morning" Jamie said padding into the kitchen_

 _"How are you feeling, baby?" Mary asked walking over to her youngest_

 _"I feel all better" Jamie said as he tried to stifle a cough_

 _"Sure you do" Danny said smirking_

 _"Really we can still have fun" Jamie said_

 _"We can have fun here too, buddy" Joe said_

 _"But I want to hang out with you guys. You always ditch me" Jamie said_

 _"We're not going to ditch you kid. We're just gonna hang out here" Danny said_

 _"That's no fun" Jamie said pouting_

 _"Alright kid, when you're all better Joey and I promise to spend the weekend with you"_

 _"You promise?" Jamie asked_

 _"Yes we promise" Joey said_

 _"Be good for your brothers. Tell them if you start to fell worse, okay. Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Mary asked crouching down to Jamie_

 _"Mommy I'm fine" Jamie said_

 _"Your fever is down" Mary said putting her hand on his forehead_

 _"Mom we'll be fine just leave us some money" Danny said_

 _Frank just looked at him._

 _"For food"_

 _"Your grandfather already dropped off soup" Frank said_

 _"Joe and I aren't sick"_

 _"There's plenty of food and my parents will keep checking in on you" Frank said_

 _"Mom" Joe groaned_

 _"Go watch the beanpole, ok" Danny said_

 _They all said their goodbyes and left. Later that afternoon they were playing with Jamie when he started crying._

 _"Jamie, buddy what's wrong?" Joe asked "Danny" he yelled_

 _"Jamie?" Danny asked, concerned_

 _"My head hurts, I want mommy"_

 _"Why don't you go take a nap?" Danny asked_

 _"I'm not a baby" Jamie said_

 _"No but if you don't feel good you can rest" Danny said_

 _"I'll come lay with you" Joe said_

 _"What about the movie?" Jamie asked_

 _"We can watch it later when you feel better. Playing outside might have over done it" Danny said_

 _"Go up to bed, I'll be up soon" Joe said_

 _"Kay Joey" Jamie said_

 _"Should we call mom and dad?" Joe asked_

 _"I don't know, let's let him sleep and then see" Danny said_

 _"We probably should get him to drink some water too" Joe said_

 _"You a doctor now Joe?"_

 _"No but whenever we're sick mom makes us drink" Joe said_

 _"You have a point"_

 _"I know I do. I'm the smarter one" Joe said_

 _"Take this up to him. I'm gonna find the thermometer" Danny said_

 _"Hey Jamie" Joe said walking into his room_

 _"Joey" Jamie mumbled_

 _"Yea it's me bud. Can you sit up for me?" Joe asked_

 _"Yea" Jamie said_

 _"Here drink this and I brought you some juice too" Joe said_

 _"Thanks Joey" Jamie said_

 _"Sure thing" Joe said putting a hand on his back "Get some ok?"_

 _"Stay?" Jamie asked_

 _"Sure" Joe said_

 _After Jamie napped, he got a shower and got ready for bed in a fresh pair of footed pajamas._

 _"How's he feeling?" Danny asked as Joe came down the stairs_

 _"He said he felt better, the baby aspirin was a good call Danny. He wants dinner and a movie now" Joe said_

 _"Poor kid" Danny said_

 _"We still gonna show him Jaws?"_

 _"Of course" Danny said_

 _"I'm hungry" Jamie said walking into the living room_

 _"Alright, Danny'll heat your soup and me and you can go get the movie set up" Joe said_

 _"Sure" Danny said laughing_

 _Jamie and Joe finished setting up and the movie and came back into the kitchen._

 _"Danny, Joey said you built the fort" Jamie said happily_

 _"Yea we built it for you for the movie" Danny said_

 _"We were gonna build one together" Jamie said_

 _"Yea but you weren't feeling good, so I wanted to do something nice for you. We'll build one when you aren't sick" Danny said_

 _"Thanks Danny" Jamie said getting up to hug him_

 _"Of course buddy" Danny said_

 _They finished eating and went back into the living room to start the movie._

 _"Come on get in the middle" Joe said sitting down_

 _"Here's your pillow and blanket" Danny said_

 _"Why did you pick this one?" Jamie asked, a little into the movie_

 _"We wanted to watch your first slightly scary movie with you" Joe said_

 _"It's scary?" Jamie asked, eyes bugging out_

 _"No it's not scary. It's actiony" Danny said glaring at Joe_

 _"You doing ok?" Danny asked_

 _"Yea" Jamie said snuggling under his blanket_

 _"I had fun today. I miss hanging out with you Danny" Jamie said leaning aginst his big brother_

 _"I love you kid" Danny said kissing the top of his head_

 _"I love you too Danny"_

 _"What about me?" Joe asked_

 _"I love you Joey" Jamie said_

 _"Love you too Jamers" Joe said hugging him_

 _As they were watching the movie Jamie asked questions which Joe and Danny happily answered._

 _All of a sudden the shark jumped out the water and Jamie jumped just as high._

 _"Jamie?" Joe asked hesitantly_

 _"You're ok " Danny said putting his arm around him_

 _"Jamie" Joe said putting him arm around him too_

 _"I wasn't expecting that" Jamie said_

 _"No I guess not" Danny said laughing_

 _"You wanna keep watching?" Joe asked_

 _"Yea" Jamie said nodding_

 _After the movie was over Jamie was starting to fall asleep._

 _"Want me to carry you up to bed?" Danny asked_

 _Jamie yawned and nodded._

 _"That's my new favorite movie" Jamie said wrapping his small arms around Danny's neck_

 _"It's one of our favorites too" Joe said_

 _"Can it be our movie?" Jamie asked_

 _"Sure kid" Danny said running his hand on Jamie's back_

 _"Go to sleep ok" Danny said laying him on his bed_

 _"Will you stay too with Joey?" Jamie asked_

 _"Kid we all can't fit in this bed" Danny said_

 _"Please Danny, please Joey" Jamie said_

 _Joe looked at Danny who just nodded._

 _"You better not kick me" Danny said_

 _"Night Joey, night Danny"_

 _"Night Jamers" Joe said_

 _"Night kid" Danny said_

* * *

"Danny you're not supposed to give away all our secrets" Jamie said walking down the stairs showered and dressed for work.

"Like how Joe and I ended up with the flu?" Danny asked

"Yea" Jamie said laughing "That was a fun night"

"You thought Joey and I were the greatest thing ever"

"You built me a fort, watched a movie with me. Seven year old Jamie had a great night"

"You never even let me watch with you" Erin said

"It was our thing, nothing against you sis" Jamie said

"You weren't apart of the flu club" Danny said

"I never knew why Jaws ran that deep, sheesh" Erin said

"We haven't watched it since …"

"Since Joe was killed" Jamie finished for Danny

"You never told me that babe"

"Kinda goes along with not dealing with Joe stuff well" Jamie said

"We should watch it one night" Danny said

"We should" Jamie agreed

"I don't think I've ever seen it" Sean said

"Danny you're not raising your kids well" Jamie said

"He was too young when Joe was still alive and then me and you didn't get along great for a while" Danny said

"Well that's true" Jamie said

"We'll watch it" Jamie said

Danny nodded.

"Alright I gotta head to work soon, I'm gonna heat my leftovers"

"We'll all come eat now, everyone hungry?" Frank asked

After they finished their leftovers, Jamie was getting ready to leave.

"Uncle Jamie can you drop me in the city on your way to work?" Nicky asked

"Sure Nic where are you going?" Jamie asked

"Just meeting some friends for a movie" Nicky said

"The old theater you guys like?" Jamie asked

"That's the one" Nicky said

"You guys are so weird" Jamie said laughing

"What it's fun"

"Better than what half the kids your age are doing" Jamie said

"See so leave my weird old movies alone" Nicky said

"You be ready in five?"

"Yes" Nicky said nodding

"Jamie, Eddie this came to 1PP for you two the other day. I didn't know you registered for your wedding gifts at my office"

"We didn't" Jamie said slightly confused

"It says Mr. and Mrs. J R" Eddie said reading the label "With no return address"

"It's not gonna blow up is it?" Jamie asked

"It got through out mail room so it should be clean" Frank said

"You wanna open it?" Eddie asked

"We can do together" Jamie said

"Here we go" Eddie said starting to unwrap it

They opened the box and then took out the slightly smaller box that was inside clad in wedding themed paper. They finished unwrapping the papered box and took out the card and picture frame.

"This is a really nice frame" Eddie said turning it over

"Congratulations Jimmy and wife. Glad it's not my sister, B finally got over you even though it took awhile. Saw a picture Jamie, she's probably out of your league. Hope you're doing well, we're still not allowed back in New York. The best of luck, N and B" Jamie said laughing

"That's not?" Frank said

"Noble and Bianca" Jamie said laughing

"Who?" Eddie asked

"Sanfino" Jamie said

"You check that thing for bugs?" Danny asked

"Cleared all the scanners" Frank said

"Why did he send you a present?" Henry asked

"I have no idea"

"This the hot sister of the guy whose life you saved?" Eddie asked

"What are you jealous Janko?" Jamie asked smirking

"Oh yea" Eddie said laughing

"I'm surprised he sent you a present" Erin said

"He wasn't terrible. He honestly wasn't smart enough to be a mobster. He just liked living the good life he was used to" Jamie said

"Only you would get a wedding present from someone that had a hit out on you" Eddie said

"I am slightly grateful that it wasn't delivered to my house, that would be weird" Jamie said laughing

"Yea, we don't need anymore excitement"

"Amen to that" Henry said

Jamie got his bag and hurried Nicky along when Eddie walked up to him.

"Be careful ok?" Eddie said walking up to him

"Always babe" Jamie said kissing her

"Love you" Eddie said hugging him

"Love you too" Jamie said hugging her back

"All ready" Nicky said

"You're not too tired are you?" Eddie said

"I'll be fine, I napped" Jamie said smirking

"Go chase bad guys" Eddie said

"Bye" Jamie said kissing her again

* * *

They finished the tree and Danny, Linda and the boys left and Eddie and Erin were left with Frank and Henry.

"How are the ribs Eddie" Can we make you laugh yet?" Frank asked

"Getting there" Eddie said smiling

"When do you go back to work?" Erin asked

"I have an ortho checkup Monday and Jamie's off so I asked him if he would go to the range with me so I can test it before the doctors appointment. It mostly is going to depend on how my shoulder handles shooting. I haven't had a headache so that's good. And we're gonna go for a run Sunday since it's not supposed to be so cold to see how I handle it" Eddie said

"You and Jamie seem to be handling it better" Henry said

"Yea we are. I know I was frustrating him. One second I was flying on the handle, the next I was crying and the next I was pissed" Eddie said

"That's all normal" Henry said

"Like I said he was really patient and kind" Eddie said "He was everything I needed him to be" Eddie said

"I'm glad to hear that" Frank said smiling

"I'm glad you're staying tonight Eddie" Henry said

"I was a little nervous when Jamie suggested it" Eddie said sheepishly

"Eddie this is your house too now" Frank said

"Thank you" Eddie said genuinely touched

"You ready to lose?" Henry asked her

"I'm gonna head out before I get roped into losing" Erin said

Erin said her goodbyes and Eddie was left with Henry and Frank.

"You ready?" Frank asked her

"I think so" Eddie said smiling as Henry dealt

Eddie lost several hands before she decided she should call it a night.

"I only lost a hypothetical three grand. Thanks for going easy" Eddie said laughing

"It's a good thing he doesn't actually make you all use real cash or you would all be moving back in" Frank said laughing

* * *

Don't forget to review! They really inspire me! I am also taking requests for this story to fit in between isomer of the bigger plots so let me know if there's anything you really want to see!


	9. Chapter 9

Just checking in to make sure that people are still reading and enjoying this story!

* * *

 _"_ Jamie come on we have to go for a run" Eddie said

"Your first run would be better suited on a treadmill" Jamie said

"I hate the treadmill" Eddie said

"You hate running" Jamie stated

"But at least outside I can see things"

"It's the last week in November what are you expecting to see?" Jamie asked her as he laced his sneakers

"Better than staring at a wall" Eddie said

"Alright hotshot, you promise to tell me if you start feeling any pain?" Jamie asked her

"I promise"

"You set the pace, I don't want you trying to match your old pace or my current one. We go as slow as you need" Jamie said

"Sure thing Usain Bolt, I'm sure McKenna really wants his partner power walking to a perp" Eddie said rolling her eyes

"Ed they aren't gonna clear you yet because we didn't go to the gun range" Jamie said

"I wasn't ready" Eddie said quietly

"I know that's completely ok. We can try again next week. As long as you need" Jamie said

"I'm hoping for basic desk duty at this point" Eddie said

"You're getting there" Jamie said

"You ready to run now, or are you gonna be too cold?" Eddie asked sarcastically

"I just hope I can keep up" Jamie said rolling his eyes

Eddie had on leggings and a short sleeve t-shirt with a sweatshirt and Jamie had on shorts a long sleeve t-shirt.

"You sure you want to do this?" Jamie asked

"I'm ready. I need to Jamie" Eddie said

"Alright then" Jamie said grabbing his keys

"Let's go lambchop" Eddie said walking out of the house and putting her gloves on

They finished stretching and started off with walking.

"Let's hit it" Eddie said increasing her pace

"Easy, easy" Jamie said as she increased her pace

"Can't keep up?" Eddie asked smirking

"Exactly" Jamie said keeping pace with her

They ran about two and a half blocks when Eddie started to slow.

"Don't stop completely, keep walking to a slow pace so you don't cramp up" Jamie said handing her a water bottle

He didn't normally run with water unless it was the summer but given the fact Eddie was coming off a bruised lung and broken ribs he figured it would tax her more than usual.

Eddie slowed to a slow walk before taking the bottle from Jamie and took a few small sips.

"You ok?" Jamie asked her

"Yea, just need to catch my breath" Eddie said

"Breath in and out Janko"

Eddie rolled her eyes but nodded and did what Jamie said.

"I'm good" Eddie said catching her breath

"We should head back" Jamie said

"No, to the pier" Eddie said

"Don't push it your first day back" Jamie said

"I can do it Jamie" Eddie said

"Alright"

"Thank you" Eddie said as she started walking

Jamie just shook his head and started walking next to her

"Babe what are you trying to prove?" Jamie asked

"No talking while running, that's one of your usual rules"

"Then I'll break my own rule and we're only walking" Jamie said

As soon as the words were out of his mouth Eddie started running and Jamie just shook his head and jogged to catch up.

"I got longer legs Janko" Jamie said

"Congratulations" Eddie said as she jogged next to Jamie

"You don't have anything to prove to me to the job to anyone. You need to take as much time as necessary to heal and recover" Jamie said "Everyone heals emotionally and physically different"

Eddie didn't say anything she just put her hand out low and behind her like they would do when they were running on the job, trying to get people to stay down.

"Only three more blocks to the pier" Eddie said huffing

"We can walk there" Jamie said

"We can also shut up and run" Eddie said "God remind me to never go running with you without headphones ever again"

"Alright" Jamie said smirking

They were closing in on the pier and Eddie was struggling but she was determined to make it.

"Please run ahead, I gotta … I gotta finish this" Eddie said struggling to breath

"I'm not leaving you"

"Jamie please" Eddie said falling slightly behind him

"I promised to always wait up"

"You can wait up there. I have to do this"

"Ok" Jamie said increasing his pace and giving Eddie her space

Jamie got to the pier relatively quickly and was stretching as he saw Eddie continue to alternate between a jog and a slow run. As much as he wanted to protect her and make sure she didn't over do it he also knew she needed to do this. She felt like she needed to prove it, to who he didn't know, but if that's how she felt than he would do what she said.

Eddie was closing in on the pier that had been a Reagan family favorite fishing spot for years so Jamie took a few steps back so she didn't feel like he was crowding her.

Eddie could see the pier up ahead. Her and Jamie frequently would either go for a walk there or or she felt like joining him on a run. She never expected it to be that difficult to make it there. She wanted to prove that she could do it that her injuries were behind her, that she deserved to be back out on the streets. She didn't know why she had to prove it to herself but she felt like she did. Jamie was crowding her as they ran, she knew that it was a a lot slower than their typical pace but she honestly felt like it was the fastest she could ever go and Jamie Just kept pace with her and didn't say anything. When it got to the point where she knew he was hardly running she made him just finish his run out. She could constantly see him checking on her out the corner of her eye and it pissed her off for no reason other than he wouldn't normally do that. She finally felt better once he started to run ahead.

Her legs felt like rubber, her chest heaved but she needed to do it. Everything ran in her mind of all the times people told her she couldn't do it, she wasn't good enough, wasn't strong enough, wasn't pretty enough, thing enough or perfect enough. She was running on pure adrenaline and she was sure that it looked more like a flail than a run but she had to finish, she had to prove she could still do it.

She slowed to a light jog but kept moving, she could see Jamie up ahead and knew she just needed to round the last bend and she would be close to the pier.

She walked for a brief few seconds, trying to get just an ounce of air. It was as if her lungs had given up on her and refused to work. They told her that was to be expected but it didn't mean it made it an easier.

She saw the opening of the pier and started running, willing herself to make it without falling cause that would only earn her an I told you so from Jamie and she knew she was pushing it to far but she needed to do it.

She was only steps from the opening of the pier she could see Jamie standing there waiting patiently, the blue water surrounding him and the sun shining off like it was a hot July day not the end of November. She inhaled but no air came and just focused on Jamie. She felt like he kept moving, expanding the distance but eventually she hit the wood of the pier and slowed.

"Keep walking, keep walking" She heard Jamie say to her as he tried steady her with his arms. She felt like the world was closing in on her and she couldn't breath. She managed to get her sweatshirt off and had a hand to her chest grasping for air. Jamie saw she was in distress and put his hand on her back and tried to hand her the water bottle.

"In and out Janko, deep breaths ok just slow it down"

Eddie kept trying to breath but couldn't, she shrugged out of her t-shirt and was standing there in just her sports bra trying to open her air way.

Jamie was trying to not outwardly panic but Eddie was breathing like she should have been on oxygen for the last decade. Jamie took his phone out of his shorts pocket and was getting ready to call for a bus when Eddie shook her head no.

"I'm fine" She panted

"No you're not" Jamie said

Eddie shook her head yes as her breathing finally slowed.

"I'm good" Eddie said taking the water bottle from Jamie

Jamie took her hand and put two fingers on her wrist and looked at his watch. Eddie tried to pull back but Jamie held on tighter so she gave up.

"It's with in a normal range" Jamie said after a minute

"I'm just a little out of shape Jamie, it's the most my lungs have been challenged in weeks"

"You light headed or anything?" Jamie asked her walking her over to the bench

"No I thought I was gonna puke for a second but I'm ok" Eddie said breathing deep for the first time

"Ok" Jamie said putting his hand in between her shoulder blades and rubbing small circles

Eddie had her head in her hands and once she felt better she looked up at Jamie.

"I did it" She said smiling

"You did" Jamie said nodding

"I needed that" Eddie said

"I know, but you may have over done it a tad"

"No I needed to prove it" Eddie said shivering

Jamie tossed her the shirt and sweatshirt back and she happily put them back on.

"To who?" Jamie asked

"Myself, I needed to prove that I could still be a cop" Eddie said

"Ed why wouldn't be able to be a cop?" Jamie asked leaning back

"I needed to prove to myself I still had what it took. I chickened out yesterday going to the gun range. I figured at least if I could do it physically then the mental stuff would come but if I couldn't run then I wouldn't have any of it. I know I'm no where near the fitness requirements but at least this is a baby step in the right direction"

"You're a great cop Eddie, don't let anything or anyone tell you otherwise" Jamie said

"Thanks" Eddie said

"It's true" Jamie said putting his arm around her "I'm proud of you"

"It took me over a half hour to run what, eight blocks?"

"I was a little slow today, I held you up" Jamie said

"Thanks" Eddie said smiling

"You did it didn't you? Few weeks ago I had to carry you up the stairs"

"You might be carrying me home at this rate"

"And you know I would" Jamie said

"I know" Eddie said putting her head on his shoulder "We should have lunch delivered here, it's so nice out"

"Of course you want food" Jamie said laughing "You still feel like you're gonna puke?"

"No it's passing" Eddie said

"Should we start walking home?" Jamie asked

"I guess since you don't like my picnic idea" Eddie said laughing

"Yea but then you'll be complaining your cold and sweaty"

"I felt like my sweatshirt was strangling me" Eddie said

"So you felt the need to strip on the pier?" Jamie asked smirking

"You gonna arrest me?" Eddie asked raising one eyebrow

"I should" Jamie said "Indecent exposure"

"Oh really? Eddie asked laughing

"You're rediculous" Jamie said laughing

"Ready to go?" Eddie asked

Jamie nodded and got up and as Eddie stood her legs buckled underneath her.

"Easy, I got you" Jamie said as her upper body stumbled into his chest

"Thanks" Eddie said holding onto his shoulder

"Falling for me again Janko?" Jame asked smirking

"You wish" Eddie said laughing

"I'll always catch you Eddie" Jamie said seriously

"I know you will" Eddie said squeezing his shoulder

"Let's just walk, I can't run another ten feet" Jamie said

"Thanks, and I know you're lying" Eddie said laughing

"I can't another ten feet because I ran so slow my legs forgot how to move" Jamie said smirking

"You're such a jerk" Eddie said laughing and giving him a light slap on the arm

* * *

They showered and changed and got ready for Eddie's appointment with the orthopedic doctor to check on her ribs and shoulder. This doctor specialized in trauma and accidents so he was able to provide her with concussion care as well.

"You want me to wait out here or come back with you?" Jamie asked after Eddie signed in

"You can come back with me" Eddie said

Jamie just nodded, he could see Eddie fiddling with her circle pendent, her tell when she was nervous.

"Everything's gonna be fine, babe" Jamie said

"Huh?" Eddie asked "Oh" she added putting her hands in her lap

"I hate that you know that" She pouted

"I know you Janko" Jamie said giving her a lopsided grin

"Janko-Reagan, Edit" The nurse stated

"Yes" Eddie said getting up

"Relax" She heard Jamie whisper

Eddie got up onto the table and the nurse took her vitals "Your BP is a little high" she said writing it down

"I went running earlier and I was a little nervous about this appointment"

"That will do it" she said

"The doctor will be in shortly, I just need you to strip down to your bra and panties and put on our lovely paper dress from the wonder collection"

Eddie laughed as she took the gown and the nurse left the room and closed the door. Jamie was about to get up from the chair when Eddie just shot him a look.

"You've seen me in a whole lot less Reagan, you going any?"

"No I didn't know, it's not like that is this, you're changing. Watching you change is like an invasion of privacy"

Eddie just looked at him like he was crazy.

"I mean I should know you would barge in on me changing all the time" Jamie said smirking

"And you loved every second of it. 'Eddie what do you think your doing I'm only wearing boxers, I don't have a shirt on but here let me flex as hard as I can while I get dressed'" Eddie said laughing as she tossed her shirt and jeans to Jamie

"You done?" Jamie asked smirking

"You honestly can't tell me I'm wrong on that" Eddie said

"Maybe a little flexing occurred but like it happens when you put clothes on"

"You're making it up" Eddie said

"Will you just sit your butt on the table" Jamie said groaning

Eddie plopped back down and played with the ties of the paper gown when the doctor knocked.

"Eddie, Jamie how are two doing?" Dr. Warren asked

He was a little older than Jamie, extremely knowledable and had treated Eddie at the hospital and did the several follow ups that she'd had.

"Better, a lot better" Eddie said and Jamie nodded "Better enough to go to modified duty"

"Let's let me make that call" He said laughing "Ok Eddie, lay back. I wanna check the ribs first"

Eddie as she was told and as she laid back she turned her head to face Jamie and stuck her tongue out at him, he just laughed and shook his head.

"I see the bruise is still healing, you still have some yellowing which is to be expected but overall it looks so much better. I'm gonna poke around now, let me know if it hurts"

Jamie started to reach his hand out to her but she just shrugged it off.

The doctor started poking around and pressed on the spot that was still the darkest, directly where the vest caught the bullet. Eddie hitched a little but recovered quickly.

"See totally fine" Eddie said laughing

"That was the direct impact, do any of your daily activities bother it?"

"I haven't really lifted anything because of the shoulder, running hurt a little bit but I was able to push through. Jamie really hasn't let me do much either, there was a few ways I moved decorating for Christmas that hurt, but compared to where I was a few weeks ago, I'll take it" Eddie said slipping the gown back on

He next ran a series of shoulder stabilization tests and was moving it around.

"How's this?" He asked her

"Little tight" Eddie said

"Relax your shoulder, let me move it. Give up control" He instructed

Jamie just laughed and Eddie turned to look at him.

"You ok over there, Jamie?" Eddie asked innocently

"Oh yea" Jamie said smirking "Doc she's not great at listening"

"Says you" Eddie said without missing a beat

"My wife and I were like this when we were first married. I had my wisdom teeth out a few weeks after our honeymoon and you would have through I had open heart surgery"

"He definitely hovered" Eddie said

"With good reason" Jamie said

"You were pretty injured Eddie, I have to agree with Jamie. Alright, loosen that shoulder"

Eddie relaxed her shoulder as much as she could and let him move it around.

"You still need some more physical therapy, it's a little weaker than I was expecting but overall you've made great progress. Any headaches?"

"I had a slight one after the run today but I think it's because I couldn't breath but it went away once I showered and laid down"

"Last test, breathing test" He said handing her the mouth piece.

He clicked a few buttons on the tablet and told her to blow into it.

"Little weaker for someone your age and fitness level but it's stronger than it was in the hospital. Jamie hovering helped you recover"

"Don't tell him that, it will give him a big head" Eddie said "So, modified?"

"Have you tried firing your weapon yet?" The doctor asked

"That has nothing to do with my shoulder" Eddie said, she saw Jamie give her a look from his chair

"Eddie it does"

"No, I wanted to go but Jamie wouldn't let me" Eddie said lying, she carefully avoided eye contact with him

"Why is that?"

"You a shrink now too?" Eddie asked defensively

"No but I specialize in trauma and it's my job to make sure you are physically and emotionally ready to go back to work"

"Eddie I can clear you for desk duty even if you haven't fired your weapon but only if I think you're telling me the truth"

Eddie sat back on the table and took a deep breath.

"I wasn't ready" Eddie said

"That's ok and I can still clear you, you just need to talk to me"

"Ok"

"Is everything else ok? Digestion, sleep, mood?" He asked

"Yea. I'm sleeping a lot better, I still get emotional but the therapist said that was to be expected"

"It is. Traumatic experiences manifest differently for everyone. I feel comfortable enough to clear you for desk duty"

"Thank you" Eddie said happily

"You still need to be careful but I don't see why you can't go back. Any questions for me?"

"Am I ok to get pregnant?" Eddie asked sheepishly

Jamie's eyes slightly bugged out of his head but a smile crossed his face.

"Any problems with your period? Cycles are sensitive to stress and trauma"

"No I don't think so"

"Any problems with intimacy, you or Jamie? It can emotionally change things"

"No" Eddie said blushing

"Yea we're all good" Jamie said

"Then I don't see why not. Your ribcage is healed enough, if you have any concerns or questions I would follow up with your OB/GYN"

"Ok, thanks" Eddie said

"Anything else?"

"No I don't think so" Eddie said

"Thanks doc" Jamie said

"I will see you in a few weeks" He said

"Thanks" Eddie said

Once he left Jamie got up from his chair and went over to Eddie.

"You change I'll go pay" He said kissing her

"Thanks babe" Eddie said taking her clothes from him

"I still love your 12" Jamie said into her ear and brushed his fingers over the navy blue 12 right under her bra line

"Go I'll be out in a second"

After Jamie paid and Eddie got changed they picked up some take out and went home and ate dinner. They went up to get changed and decided they would watch whatever Christmas movie was on.

Eddie come down the stairs as Jamie was placing two mugs on the coffee table.

"Those are mine" He stated

"Oh really? I didn't realize" Eddie said innocently looking at the grey sweatpants with the red Harvard logo.

"Yea" Jamie deadpanned "I don't remember seeing you at Harvard Law School"

"Should've taken your head out of the book" Eddie said sitting on the couch

"I guess I should be happy I have clothes to wear, you steal them all"

"I only steal the comfy ones" Eddie said laughing

Jamie sat down next to her and she put her head on his shoulder.

"You gonna make it through the movie?" He asked glancing down

"Hopefully. I'm just tired and sore"

"From the run?"

"Yea, my legs cramped a little when I was getting changed" Eddie said

"Lay down" Jamie said shifting

"Why?" Eddie asked

"I was gonna massage them for you, loosen them up"

"oh I would love that" Eddie said putting her back against the arm of the sofa and swinging her legs onto Jamie

Jamie started with her feet and then moved up to her calves, applying just enough pressure that Eddie was squirming.

"I swear to God Janko if you kick me in the face" Jamie said rolling her eyes and she moved

"I can't help it. My feet are ticklish" Eddie said laughing

Jamie just held her feet far enough away that he would have time to react. He moved up her leg and got to the muscles between her Achilles and calf and he saw her flinch.

"Keep going" Eddie said

"It's really right Janko, we're you limping weird or anything when you were runnin?"

"I don't think so but I was just trying to breath" Eddie said

"Just tell me if it's too much, I don't want to hurt it more" Jamie said as he dug his fingers in.

Eddie tried to pull her leg back from him but he tightened his grip and lessened the pressure.

"Hell of a knot" He said applying more pressure to work it out

"Ok, ok, ok, no stop" Eddie said getting her leg away from him

"I'm sorry" Jamie said leaning over and kissing her

"It feels a little better, it was just too much" Eddie said

Another Christmas movie was coming on as Jamie was finishing up her other leg. Eddie grabbed the blanket and put it over them as she laid back down in his lap.

"Can you do my back and shoulders too?" She asked

"Sure" Jamie said laughing as he flipped her over and sat her up

"Nope still a weird angle, you're gonna have to sit on the floor in front of the sofa for a little"

"Ugh" Eddie said shimmying off onto the ground

"You stole the blanket" Jamie said as Eddie laid it on top of herself

"Yea" Eddie said smiling "I'm cold"

"And if I'm cold?" Jamie asked

"Get your own" Eddie said smirking

"You're such a jerk" Jamie said leaning over and kissing the top of her head

"Just massage my shoulder"

"Demanding" Jamie said as he spread his fingers in between her shoulder blades

"Oh keep going" Eddie moaned

Jamie dug deeper into the muscles where her shoulder meets her back.

"Better" Jamie asked finished

"Yes, thank you" Eddie said "Who knew I could save on massages by marrying you" Eddie said getting back onto the couch

"You're gonna want that all the time now, aren't you?" He asked groaning

"Oh yea" Eddie said laughing

"I dug my own grave" Jamie stated

"Please you loved it too, it make you feel like boy scout taking care of someone"

"Not exactly" Jamie said laughing as Eddie slumped next to him

"What if I don't like being used for a pillow all the time, what if I want to lay against you?" Jamie asked as he put his arm around her

"You're shit out of luck tonight. Try again later" Eddie said

Jamie just rolled his eyes.

"Can we talk about why you were going to lie to the doctor about not going to the gun range?"

"Nope" Eddie said

"Ed, I thought you were ok with not being ready to go?"

"I don't want to talk about it Jamie"

 _"Hey almost ready?" Jamie asked setting their off duty weapons on the table, Jamie also placed Eddie's service weapon on the table. She knew she would need to practice with it before they would let her back in the street._

 _"Yea" Eddie said looking at the guns sitting on the table_

 _"Ed?" Jamie asked sitting down at the kitchen table_

 _Eddie reached for her service weapon and as her hands curling around it, starting to shake. It wasn't loaded but to Eddie, it felt like the heaviest thing in the world. It could've been anything other than the piece she carried everyday since her rookie year._

 _She tossed it back on the table and tried not to cry._

 _"Babe what's wrong?" Jamie asked looking up from cleaning his own weapon_

 _"Nothing. I'm not going" Eddie said getting up from the table_

 _"Eddie?" Jamie asked gently_

 _"No" She said walking into the living room and getting the blanket and wrapping it around herself_

 _"No?" Jamie asked following her into the living room_

 _"I'm not going" Eddie said trying not to cry_

 _"Eddie come on, talk to me. What's going on?" Jamie asked_

 _"Something's wrong with the gun" Eddie said_

 _"What do you mean something's wrong with your gun?"_

 _"It's not mine"_

 _"Ed it is, it's the one that Sarge took from the hospital"_

 _"No it was heavy and foreign"_

 _"Eddie" Jamie said sitting down next to her and putting a hand on her leg "It's your gun, you want me to show you the serial number?"_

 _"I know what my gun feels like Jamie and that's not it" Eddie bit back_

 _"It is Janko" Jamie said gently "Are you sure it's not PTSD that is freaking you out? You haven't held a gun since you got shot"_

 _"I'm not freaking out"_

 _Jamie got up and walked into the kitchen and picked up Eddie's unloaded gun. There were no bullets in the chamber and it wasn't loaded and it wasn't any heavier to him._

 _"Eds look at me, this is yours. See your serial number. Same gun since our first tour together." Jamie said placing it in her lap_

 _She gently picked it up and held it in her hands. She felt the tears spring to her eyes and decided to just let them fall._

 _"Hey don't cry" Jamie said gently_

 _He took the gun from her hands and placed it on the coffee table and pulled her in her for a hug._

 _"It's ok, you don't have to go today. Nothing wrong with that" Jamie said hugging her_

 _"What do you want me to say? I'm a cop and I can't stand to see my own gun?"_

 _"Why can't you, what happens when you think of having to fire it?" Jamie asked_

 _"That no matter what gun I had I wouldn't have been able to save Dunleevy. It just brings back that whole day and I need it to stop" Eddie said_

 _"It's ok Eddie. We'll go when you're ready" Jamie said  
_

 _"What if I'm never ready?" Eddie asked in a small voice_

 _"You will be, I have full confidence in that Eddie. You're a good cop, a good person just give yourself some time" Jamie said_

 _Eddie just stared at him._

 _"And if it gets to a point where you still won't go I'll pick you up and fireman carry you there and you can kick and scream all you want" Jamie said_

 _"Thanks" Eddie said putting her head on his shoulder_

 _"Anytime babe" Jamie said kissing her head_

 _"I'll go lock them back up" Jamie said_

"I need to go Jamie, I need to be able to do this. Isn't it like falling off a horse, quicker you get up, easier it is?"

"Not quite" Jamie said slightly confused "But I'll be with you the whole time"

"We need to go tomorrow, even if you drag me kicking and screaming. I need to be able to do it before going to work Wednesday" Eddie said

"Ok, we'll go in the morning. I have a later tour"

"Make a contract right now, you will drag me in kicking and screaming if necessary"

"Eddie"

"No, promise me Jamie"

"Ok I promise I will hold you hostage until you fire your weapon" Jamie said

"Good" Eddie said

"Come on shorty, let's go to bed. I thought I was getting to sleep in tomorrow" Jamie said getting up

"Fine" Eddie said taking his hand

* * *

"You ready?" Jamie asked her as they stood outside the gun range

"Do I have a choice?"

"Well yea, you do" Jamie said walking up behind her

"Eddie look at me. You are brave and strong and you know how to kick ass, you can do this. Just believe in yourself, don't be scared Eddie" Jamie said

"Thanks" Eddie said nodding

"Don't make me push you" Jamie said

"No, no I can do this. It's like going to see my dad all over again"

"And you did fine" Jamie said putting his hand out for her

"I can do this" Eddie said taking a deep breath and shaking his hand away

"You can" Jamie said nodding

"Alright" Eddie said as she started walking towards the entrance

Eddie made it through the entrance door and turned around and saw Jamie a few paces behind her. Willing to step in if needed, but knowing she could do it and needed to do it on her own terms.

Jamie said hello to everyone there, he practically grew up here and many of these guys had worked with or for his grandfather and had known him since he was a toddler.

"I got the two stalls on the end, Mr. Walker said he will send everyone to the other side so we shouldn't have company" Jamie said

"Thanks" Eddie said putting her bag on the table next to Jamie's.

Jamie grabbed their headphones and glasses and handed Eddie hers. She took them and put them on right away, she kept telling herself to stop thinking and just do it.

"Go, I'm coming" Eddie said

Jamie nodded and walked into his stall, set up his paper and fired his first shot. Eddie jumped and looked around to make sure no one saw it.

'Janko get it together, you can do this. Any other day, part of the job' She said to herself

She took a deep breath and walked into her stall and set up her paper. She saw Jamie check her out, out of the corner of his eye but he didn't say anything.

'Ok Janko, you can do this. It's a piece of paper' Eddie said to herself

Eddie brought her gun up to the paper, just like she had done a million times. Her eyes started to go fuzzy and she got all sweaty. She lowered it and placed it on the counter in front of her and shook her head to clear it.

"Ed?" Jamie said

"I'm good" Eddie said nodding

She looked back at her gun and was determined to fire. Jamie turned back and shot his own target. Eddie aimed once again and out her finger on the trigger.

'It's part of your job' She told herself as her finger closed in on the trigger

Eddie pulled the trigger and felt the vibrations up her arms, it didn't matter where it went at this point, it just mattered that she was bale to do it. She felt a range of emotions over come her but the police gun range was definitely not a place to express them.

She put the gun back on the counter and slipped her headphones off. When she looked up, Jamie was looking at her smiling.

"Right in the chest babe, see you had nothing to worry about" Jamie said

"Wow" Eddie said

"You ok?" Jamie asked a little more seriously

"I'm good, just I don't know. Being back here is weird, shooting is weird. But it feels good to be back"

"I'm proud of you" Jamie said

"I'm proud of me too. It wasn't easy coming here" Eddie said

"You did great" Jamie said

"I think I should fire some more" Eddie said

"Ok" Jamie said nodding putting his headphones back on

Eddie fired a full clip and then brought the paper in. She took it off the clips and studied it.

She had only missed one shot, and that was where her shoulder twitched a little towards the end. The rest were all well within department guidelines.

Jamie brought his paper in and held it up to show Eddie.

"I won" Jamie stated

"I wasn't competing" Eddie said

"Ok" Jamie said, they usually always argued over who won, going back to when they were still partners but today, for Eddie, it wasn't a competition. She won solely by just being here.

"I'm proud of you" Jamie said as they sat at their table to clean their guns

"It felt good to be back. I think it was the longest I haven't been here since I became a cop"

"I ever tell you the first time I came was my 8th birthday?" Jamie asked

"No, seriously. Your mom went for that?" Eddie said

"I wouldn't say she was for it. My dad brought me on my birthday and then a few days later he brought all four of us. She really wasn't thrilled that Erin would come with us" Jamie said laughing

"You bringing our kid on it's 8th birthday?"

"Probably, we have to have one first" Jamie said

"I'm ready, I don't wanna wait. I want a tiny little baby to share Christmas with next year" Eddie said

"No arguments here" Jamie said "I'm glad we're gonna start trying"

"Me too" Eddie said

"I love you" Jamie said leaning across the table, kissing her

"I love you too. Thanks for coming with me today"

"Always" Jamie said

* * *

"Ed hurry up we can't be late" Jamie yelled up the stairs as he waited for Eddie

"I had to make sure I had everything, calm down Reagan" Eddie said walking down the stairs

"You ready?" Jamie asked

"Yea I think so" Eddie said

"You sure you're ready to go back?"

"Now or never Jamie, even if it is only desk duty"

"Alright then we gotta go" Jamie said

Eddie was quiet on the ride over. She was worried that everyone would treat her differently. McKenna had told her he was happy she was coming back even if they weren't riding together yet.

"We're here" Jamie said after Eddie hadn't moved.

"Let's go" Eddie said opening her door

They walked up the front steps and Jamie went one step ahead to open the door for her.

As soon as she walked in she was met with rounds of applause and good wishes welcoming her back.

"Glad you're back partner" McKenna said walking over to her

"Thanks" Eddie said smiling

"Check your desk" McKenna said

"What?" Eddie said walking over to it, Jamie following behind

"Thanks McKenna" Eddie said touched at the flowers sitting on her desk

"Thought you could use something to make you smile. We missed you around here. No one to put Reagan in his place"

"Yea, yea" Jamie said laughing

"He's not that great, he never got me flowers" Eddie said

"I got you a wedding ring" Jamie said which earned a laugh out of everyone

"It's good to be back" Eddie said smiling as she sat in her desk chair before she went to get changed

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed it! Don't forget to leave a review!


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm working early tomorrow" Eddie said as she and Jamie sat at their kitchen table eating dinner. They slowly had started cooking more and tonight was hamburgers and frenchfries with a salad.

"Ok, I work till 6:30 I think. You wanna have a later dinner tomorrow, or go out?" Jamie asked her

Their friends had taken them out after Eddie's first tour back a few days ago and while they both liked going out, they were content in staying home with each other.

"Maybe, I'm just really tried today, I'm hoping I can shake it"

"You were pretty stressed about going back, it can take a toll"

"I guess so" Eddie said "I just hope I'm not getting sick, I just felt off today"

"Probably from all the heavy lifting you do answering phones. After dinner you should go to bed, I'll clean up" Jamie said

"Thanks" Eddie said smiling

"So how's Casey doing? He a good replacement for me?" Eddie asked

"So much better, I didn't know that partners didn't have to always have such a wiseass attitude" Jamie said smirking

"Oh please you know you miss me. You got really lucky with me as your partner" Eddie said

"Did I though?" Jamie asked her

"Um you could've done a lot worse" Eddie said

"You almost ran over someone the first time you drove and you didn't follow protocol with the checklist before our drive"

"Oh my God" Eddie said in fake horror

"It's a miracle we lived" Jamie said

"My driving wasn't bad!" Eddie said laughing

"Yea you just drive like Danny when he was fourteen, I already told you that" Jamie said laughing

"Ok well how did I know I was gonna get put with the most rule abiding human?" Eddie said

"You needed some rules" Jamie said

"Says the man that got suspended three weeks into being partnered with him.

"Surprised you didn't run for the hills" Jamie said

"I thought about it" Eddie deadpanned

"You're such a jerk" he said laughing, stealing the jar of pickles from her

"You better watch it or I'll put some olives on that burger" Eddie said stealing the jar back

"You wouldn't" Jamie said feigning shock

"You wanna find out?" Eddie asked smirking

"I'll pass" Jamie said laughing

"See I really wanted you to admit how you felt towards me so I could torment you at all hours of the day" Eddie said

"Lucky me" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"What would you do without me?" Eddie asked

"I hope I never have to find out Ed" Jamie said

"Me too" she said quickly taking a bite of her burger

"This is really good" She said

"I know how to cook you know, you like my cooking" Jamie said

"Only when you don't get a big head about it" Eddie said smirking and Jamie just rolled his eyes

"You feeling better after eating?" Jamie asked as they finished their dinner

"I guess a little, I'm just exhausted" Eddie said "I haven't even gone to bed late I don't know why I'm tired"

"I guess physical therapy and work, you think maybe you're over doing it?" Jamie asked her

"I don't know, I just want to feel normal and like myself again" Eddie said

"You will babe" Jamie said getting up and kissing her

"You don't mind cleaning up? You did cook most of it" Eddie said getting up

"No go up, I can sleep in a little tomorrow" Jamie said "I'll be quiet when I come up so I don't wake you"

"Thanks. I love you" Eddie said giving him a hug before going up to bed

"Love you too Ed, good night" he said hugging her back

Jamie was a little concerned, she didn't seem sick but Eddie rarely ever said that she felt off, he hoped that was just some extra stress with going back to work and nothing else. He cleaned up the kitchen and put everything away and plopped down onto the sofa to check his emails and finish up some paperwork that he hadn't gotten done in work.

It was still early for bed but he and Eddie had been spending so much time together that he didn't know what to do without her next to him. He figured he's just go up to bed and read, baseball was over, it wasn't a good football game on, and the Rangers were off for the night. He threw some laundry in, they were running out of towels so he figured they could go in the dryer before work.

After he threw the towels in he went up and got ready for bed, he put of a clean pair or boxes and washed his face before sliding in next to Eddie who was already asleep.

"Love you" he whispered as he flipped his book light on.

The next morning he he stirred as Eddie got ready for work.

"Go back to sleep, you still have a few hours" Eddie said as she pulled the blankets up for him

Jamie just mumbled something incoherent and rolled over. Eddie just smiled at him, all the times they had spent together but she still loves when he's half awake and half asleep, she thinks his sleep voice is the sexiest thing around.

She moved between the bathroom and the bedroom getting herself ready for work and packing her bag.

Before she left she went over to his side of the bed and gave him a kiss before she left. "Be careful today, I love you"

Jamie's alarm went off a few hours after Eddie's. He got up and went for a run and came back and had his coffee and cereal before he showered and got ready for work.

He walked into the 12th precinct and saw Eddie looked fairly agitated on the phone so he went and changed and went into his office before roll call.

He was looking down at the file in front of him when he heard a knock on his door.

"Come in" he said not looking up

He got up, still not looking towards his door and before Jamie knew it Eddie was kissing him, hard. He took her mouth in his before he realized they were only in his office.

"Ed?" Jamie asked confused by her sudden display of affection

"You just look really good in your uniform" Eddie said running a hand up his bullet proof vest

"Same one I've been wearing since I was promoted. I mean Babe we're at work" Jamie said

"I know I just missed you" Eddie said

"Ok" Jamie said laughing

"I think we both should get back to work" Jamie said

"Alright, those phones won't answer themselves" Eddie

"Try and behave yourself" Jamie said

"That an order?" Eddie asked smirking

"Yes" Jamie deadpanned

"You going out for tour?" Eddie asked

"Yea, they need me on the street today" Jamie said

"Be safe" Eddie said

"Always am, love you" Jamie said kissing her

"Love you too" Eddie said kissing him back and Casey walked into his office

"Oh, whoa, sorry" Casey said covering his eyes

"Jeez Casey you saw nothing" Eddie said patting his shoulder as she left

"Ignore her" Jamie said to his young partner

"Sorry Sarge" Casey said

"Dugan we've been over this, Jamie or Regan is fine. We're partners, Renzulli is still sarge to me" Jamie said

"Yes boss" Casey said smirking

"Get out of here" Jamie said leading his partner out to their squad car

"So Janko seems happy to be back" Casey said

"Yea I think she is" Jamie said

"Can't wait till you old people start coming out to the bar again" Casey said

"You just want to beat me in beer pong" Jamie said

"Well, yea. I mean I don't think you've beaten me in years"

"Well I think it shows that I don't need drinking games to entertain my life"

"Only people that suck say that"

"You want fleet duty?" Jamie asked smirking

"No boss" Casey said

"Good" Jamie said laughing

"Damn you had me for a second"

"See I have other talents"

* * *

"Ed I'm home" Jamie called out as he dropped his bag and shrugged out of his jacket

He walked into the kitchen after he heard Eddie call out and saw her chopping up vegetables with her back to him.

"Hands on the counter, feet apart" Jamie whispered into her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kicked his foot in between hers

Eddie didn't say anything she just made a weird noise and tried to shake Jamie off her.

"Eds what's wrong? Does thing have anything to do with me shaking you off in my office?" Jamie asked slightly concerned

"No I'm sorry I should've had dinner ready but then we were out of salad so I ran to the store but I fell asleep before I went and I knew you were working late and I should've had dinner ready" Eddie rambled without taking a breath

"Whoa breath" Jamie said putting a hand on her shoulder "I can help you with dinner" Jamie said

"I'm sorry" Eddie said

"I don't mind helping, you work too" Jamie said

"I told you I would do it"

"Eddie what is really going on?" Jamie asked giving her a look

"I don't know" Eddie said looking away from him

"Why don't we abandon dinner for a little" Jamie asked smirking

"Jamie" Eddie groaned

"Not the way I was hoping you would've said my name. So why don't you tell me what's going on" Jamie asked

"It's nothing" Eddie said

"Did I piss you off and not know it?" Jamie asked slightly confused

"No" Eddie said exasperatedly

"Then what gives Janko?"

"I told you I've been feeling off"

"Yea and I said you should go back and see the doc, move your appointment up"

"I also realized I'm late. It didn't even register when we were at my checkup the other day"

"How late we talking?" Jamie asked, smile growing

"A week and like a day. I don't know I had gotten lazy putting in into my app"

"Eds that's great. You want me to go get you a test?" Jamie asked, more excited than Eddie

"I got one when I needed to get stuff for dinner. I'm just kinda scared to take it" Eddie said looking away

"Hey look at me" Jamie said drawing her face up to his

"Don't be scared, you said yourself you're ready"

"What if I'm all wacked out from the shooting?"

"Then we try again when you feel ready" Jamie said

"I'm a terrible person"

"What why?" Jamie asked confused

"Because I said I was ready and now I don't know if I am"

"If I've learned anything from my brother and sister it's that having kids is the scariest but most rewarding experience ever. It's ok if your scared or if you're not ready"

"Why aren't you freaked out that I'm late?"

"Because I told you I was ready, and I know you said that you could be a little off from the shooting"

"How do you always know what to say?"

"Because only one of us can freak out at a time" Jamie said smirking

"You're a jerk" Eddie said laughing

"No matter what it will be ok Eddie" Jamie said

"Come with me while I take the test?" Eddie asked nervously

"Of course, and Eddie no matter what it'll be ok" Jamie said taking her hand

Eddie grabbed the bag and they headed up to their bedroom

"You want me to wait out here?" Jamie asked

"Please"

"Of course"

"Jamie just promise me you won't be upset if I'm not pregnant"

"God Eddie never, I told you as soon as your ready and comfortable. You're the one that has to be pregnant and give birth, it's up to you if you want to start counting and doing period math" Jamie said

"I really did pick the best husband" Eddie said hugging him

"Go pee Janko" Jamie said

"Here it goes" Eddie said

Jamie sat on the floor outside of their bathroom in their room and leaned against the wall and waited for Eddie to come out of the bathroom.

"That was fast" Jamie said as she walked out

"I got nervous and couldn't pee"

"Usually being nervous makes me pee" Jamie said getting up as Eddie sat down

He grabbed the water bottle off his night stand and tossed it to Eddie.

"Drink up" Jamie said sitting back down next to her

Eddie opened the bottle and started drinking.

"Do you think I could actually be pregnant?" Eddie asked leaning against him

"I guess so if your late but I know that stress can change it, but I mean you have any other signs?" Jamie asked putting his arm around her

"My boobs hurt and I've been a little moody but that sometimes happens with my period too"

"Shouldn't you be able to tell the difference?" Jamie asked

"No, I mean I've never been pregnant before. I feel a little differently now but I could just be getting me period"

"Then you're gonna have to pee on the stick" Jamie said

"Alright let me try again, I mean I've had to pee but I got nervous"

"You're so weird" Jamie said laughing as Eddie got up

Eddie went back in and a few minutes later Eddie came out and sat down next to him.

"I don't know if I want them to be positive or not" Eddie

"Call it, heads you're pregnant, tails you're not" Jamie said pulling a quarter out of his pocket

"Jamie that's how I decide what I want for lunch not if I want a baby"

"Just call it Janko" Jamie said tossing the coin in the air

"Tails, I don't think I'm ready"

"Tails it is" Jamie said moving his foot so Eddie could see

"Oh" Eddie said disappointedly

"Oh?" Jamie asked

"I think that maybe I wanted it to say I was pregnant" Eddie said

"Well you have about forty-five seconds to decide" Jamie said looking down at Eddie's phone between them

"I don't know!"

"Be patient" Jamie said

"I could be possibly growing a human and you want me to be patient?!" Eddie asked

"Yes"

"Why are you not freaking out? I'm freaking out" Eddie said "I don't know what I want it to say"

"To me, it's one of the things where if it's meant to be right now it will and if it's not it won't"

"You and your damn blind faith"

"Here we go" Jamie said standing up and holding his hand out for Eddie as the phone alarm went off

"Here goes nothing" Eddie said

"It'll all be ok" Jamie said as Eddie put a hand to her stomach

Eddie walked over to the counter where she placed the tests on a hand towel.

"Not pregnant, not pregnant, pregnant, not pregnant, pregnant" Eddie read off "WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN?"

"It means you're either pregnant or not pregnant" Jamie said

"That might be the least helpful thing you've ever said Reagan" Eddie said

"So you call your gynecologist Monday and make an appointment and find out for sure"

"I can't wait till then" Eddie said

"You kinda don't have a choice" Jamie said

"Ugh I know" Eddie said flopping onto their bed

"Dramatic much?" Jamie asked

"If you had a human inside your uterus wouldn't you want to know?" Eddie asked

"Alright I see that logic" Jamie said conceding, knowing he wouldn't win

"I mean it's not like I would feel anything right now so there's no way to tell" Eddie said

"Well why don't we decorate around here tomorrow for Christmas, keep your mind off of it" Jamie said

"Jamie, I'm not a patient person" Eddie said

"I know" Jamie said laughing "I have enough patients for both of us"

"Ugh. I just want to know. Can't Linda do a blood test?"

"Yes, but do you really wanna go off a few days late and some moodiness? You know nothing is sacred"

"True" Eddie said groaning

"Just relax" Jamie said

Eddie just shot him a look and playfully slapped his arm.

"Come on, why don't we go eat dinner" Jamie said standing up again

"Alright" Eddie said getting up

"No matter what I'll love you"

"Thanks" Eddie said hugging him "So we won't say anything right?"

"That decision is all yours" Jamie said

"Let's hold off then" Eddie said

"Ok" Jamie said nodding

* * *

"We're getting the tree today right?" Eddie asked Jamie waking him up

"Sleep" Jamie mumbled

"Come on Jamie, it's our first Christmas being married" Eddie said excitedly

"Alright" Jamie said rolling over to face her

"Eds it's nine in the morning. We could've slept a little longer"

"Says the man that likes to run before the crack of dawn"

"But now I like to sleep" Jamie said wrapping his arm around Eddie's waist

"Come on we have to decorate" Eddie said kissing him

"We could just stay here" Jamie said kissing her back

"No Mr. Reagan" Eddie said squeezing his side

"Alright, alright" Jamie said laughing

"Come on shorty" Jamie said getting out of bed and slipping his feet into his slippers since he was already wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants.

"I'm so excited for Christmas this year" Eddie said

"Me too" Jamie said

"You want pancakes today?"

"Sure" Jamie said happily

Eddie started to make breakfast and Jamie got everything out they would need.

"So maybe after we get the tree we should pick up another pregnancy test" Eddie said

"You sure you want to torture yourself?" Jamie asked "I mean the negatives are in the lead"

"It could be a false negative"

"Or a false positive"

"You could be a little positive" Eddie grumbled

"What? I am, I just don't want you getting too upset" Jamie said getting defensive

"I know it could go either way Jamie" Eddie said

"Ok, you were just all over the place with it"

"I know and I think I want to be pregnant. It's more of the not knowing". I know I shouldn't be disappointed or surprised if I'm not because of everything with the shooting and the three negative tests"

"So we'll just put it out of our minds for the day and enjoy getting ready for Christmas" Jamie said

"I'll do my best" Eddie said

"Do you want to get the three this morning and then do the outside or want me to do the outside and then get the tree?" Jamie asked

"Why don't we get the tree and I can put the lights on it and you can do the outside stuff and I can come out and help" Eddie said

"Sounds like a plan" Jamie said handing her two plates to put their pancakes on.

"Thanks" Eddie said flipping the pancakes onto the plate.

Jamie grabbed the syrup and placed it on the table and got the silverware out of the drawer.

"These smell really good" Eddie said sitting at their kitchen table

"They really do" Jamie said sliding the butter over his top pancake

"Eat up" Eddie said stabbing her pancake with her fork

"So we get our first tree together today" Jamie said smiling

"See I knew you were excited" Eddie said

"Yea babe, I am" Jamie said happily

"So I saw on Pinterest of cool things you can do with your first tree and I think after Christmas we should plant it in the yard"

"Is that possible?" Jamie asked thinking it over

"Yea I saved what to do"

"I like that plan" Jamie said smiling

"Good" Eddie said taking the butter from him

"These are really good Janko" Jamie said

"I'm glad you like them, I think they may be some of my best"

"They really are" Jamie said cutting up his next pancake

They finished breakfast and cleaned up and got washed and dressed, ready to get their tree. Eddie had on jeans, Uggs, a plaid shirt, cream sweater and puffy jacket. Jamie had on jeans, a thermal long-sleeve, a zip up hoodie and his own puffy jacket. While it was the beginning of December, it had still be unusually cold.

"Ready?" Eddie asked taking their cloves out of the hall closet

"Yea I just have to get the saw from the garage" Jamie said

"You car is longer so I think we should take yours just to the tree isn't flopping off"

"Ok you wanna go start it while I get the saw?" Jamie asked her as he tossed her his keys

"Sure" Eddie said going out to the car

A few minutes later Jamie carefully put the saw in the trunk and got into the drivers seat.

"I'm shocked you didn't try to drive" Jamie said

"Eh gotta keep you on your toes, I don't want to be predictable"

"You Eddie Janko Reagan, are anything but predictable" Jamie said smiling

Eddie didn't say anything she just smiled back at him and turned on the Christmas music on the radio.

They had been driving to the Christmas tree farm for awhile when Eddie started singing along to the Christmas music. They were stopped at a red light when she felt Jamie staring at her.

"What?" Eddie asked looking over at him

"You're cute" Jamie said grinning

"I'm cute?" Eddie asked

"Yea you're cute all relaxed and singing" Jamie said

"Thanks" Eddie said squeezing his hand as the light changed

"I love you babe" Jamie said

"I love you too" Eddie said

"Sorry I got randomly emotional" Jamie said laughing

"No it's sweet, Jamie"

"So how much longer does my phone say?" Jamie asked her

"About ten minutes" Eddie said

"According to my car it's like ten degrees cooler out here, are you gonna be warm enough?"

"I'll be fine, Reagan only you would find something to worry about while buying a Christmas tree"

"I'm just making sure" Jamie said

* * *

They were walking through the field hand in hand looking for their first tree when Jamie stopped.

"What about this one?" Jamie asked her

"Seriously Reagan?" Eddie asked

"What?" Jamie asked

"The proportions are all wrong" Eddie said

"Ok Lucy Brown"

"Huh?" Eddie asked laughing "We are not getting a Charlie Brown tree"

"Alright we'll keep looking" Jamie said and took her hand again as they walked

"Thank you" Eddie said

They walked around and got some hot chocolate from the little stand before they both stopped in front of a perfectly symmetrical eight foot tree"

"Jamie" Eddie said in awe

"I think it's perfect babe" Jamie said kissing her cheek

"Eight feet'll fit right?"

"Yea our ceiling is twelve feet. So with the base and topper it won't look totally squished"

"I love it" Eddie said walking around it "Before you cut it down we need a picture" Eddie said

She spotted someone that looked young enough that would know how to take a decent picture and asked if they would. After they got their picture Jamie started cutting it down.

"Well you're no George Washington" Eddie said laughing as Jamie struggled with his saw

"What?" Jamie asked looking up at her standing over him on the ground

"You want some help babe?" Eddie asked

"I can do it" Jamie said

"OK" Eddie said laughing "When and if you hopefully cut it down do you want me to catch it or just let it fall?"

"If?" Jamie asked, feigning hurt

"Just make sure you cut it down before Christmas" Eddie said laughing

"Ouch Janko" Jamie said as he continued to cut "Back up" He warned

Eddie stepped back as the tree fell.

"Good job Jamie" Eddie said clapping

"Oh whatever" Jamie said laughing getting up "Don't I get a prize?"

"Eh, maybe later. It wasn't that impressive" Eddie said grinning

Jamie just rolled his eyes "Are you ok to carry the top of the tree and I'll take the stump?" Jamie asked more seriously

"Yea, I think I just need to carry it on the right side" Eddie said

"Ok, if it..." Jamie started to say before Eddie cut him off

"It if starts to hurt I will tell you and be a big baby and need you to carry me and the tree" Eddie said rolling her eyes

"Good that's all I ask" Jamie said smirking

* * *

They got their tree home and Jamie got it properly in the stand and Eddie started on the lights while Jamie out the lights up the front walk, on the bushes and roof and added a nativity set and a light up Santa. He was starting to get really cold but only had a few things to do before he brought Eddie out.

"Hey you're gonna freeze to death out here" Eddie said bringing out a blanket for him

"I'm almost done, what do you think?" Jamie asked

"It looks beautiful, what can I do to help?" Eddie asked knowing how cold he must be

"Wanna go put the stakes in to keep everything in the ground?" Jamie asked

"Sure" Eddie said giving him the blanket

Eddie went and secured the last few decorations and walked over to where Jamie was standing by the plug.

"You ready?" He asked her

"Yes" Eddie said excitedly

Jamie gave the blanket back to Eddie and crouched down and plugged everything into the timer

"Babe" Eddie said excitedly as all the lights flickered on

They walked down to their front walk and Eddie wrapped the blankets around the both of them and she leaned into his side.

"It looks perfect" She said taking her phone out and taking a picture

"I'm glad you like it" Jamie kissing her head

"You did great" Eddie said kissing him

"Ready to go in and do the tree?" Jamie asked

"Yes, gotta warm you up too" Eddie said

"Really?" Jamie asked raising an eyebrow

"With the fireplace and a tea" Eddie said innocently

"Come on" Jamie said taking her hand as they walked back up their front walk

They went in and got the boxes of ornaments, some they had bought together, some were from their wedding and they had some from when they were younger.

Eddie had already fluffed the tree and put the lights on so all they had to do was decorate it.

"Babe you box is up first" Jamie said handing it to her

"No laughing at my hair, I know there's picture ones in here" Eddie said

"Alright" Jamie said laughing as he opened the tub

"Um what the hell is this?" Jamie asked after he unwrapped the first ornament

"Oh that?" Eddie asked smirking

"Yea and why have I never seen it before?" Jamie asked tightly

"Well I sorta hid it last year in the back of the tree"

"And you think it's gonna go on our tree?" Jamie asked

"Well yea" Eddie said putting her hands on her hips

"You're deranged"

"Alright then no Rangers ornament" Eddie said taking her precious ornament from Jamie

"We're in New York Janko, Rangers equal New York"

"You knew I was a Flyers fan before you married me" Eddie stated

"Well I thought you would've left the dark side"

"Nope" Eddie said hanging the orange ball with the Flyers logo on the center of the tree

"Uh-uh, not dead center" Jamie said

"It's a perfect spot, perfect size" Eddie said innocently

"You kill me Janko"

"There's also a Phillies and an Eagles ornament in that box too" Eddie stated

"You hiding a statue of William Penn some where too?" Jamie asked

"Oh shut up" Eddie said laughing

"I told you my grandparents lived in Philly after they immigrated. My mom lived in Philly until she moved to New York when she married my dad. You met my cousins from Philly, you like my cousins form Philly"

"I lived in Boston for eight years at Harvard but you don't see me bowing down to Sam Adams"

"You have a Red Sox hat and shirt"

"Yea but I'm not making them the star attraction of our Christmas tree"

"Oh come on we can put your Rangers ornament with my Philly ones"

"Who are you?!" Jamie asked laughing

"Your amazing wife" Eddie said walking up to him

"I can't believe you're putting Philly stuff on our tree. My father may kill you himself" Jamie said hugging her

"Your precious Rangers ornament can go right next to my Flyers one" Eddie said

"Lovely" Jamie deadpanned

"Come on let's open some of yours so you'll stop pouting" Eddie said taking the lid off Jamie's tub

"Reagan" Eddie gushed as she unwrapped the first one "Alright if our future child looks like this he will be the cutest thing in the whole world" Eddie said flipping over the wreath looking ornament to find a year or grade

"First grade" Jamie said knowing which one she was talking about

"You were absolutely adorable" Eddie said cupping his cheek

"Yea there any little Eddie's in your box?"

"A few, but sixth grade Eddie had shorter hair and a perm" Eddie said groaning

"I'm sure you were beautiful, babe"

"Yea just wait till you see it. I have successfully never showed you those pictures"

"Weren't they in the photo album of your whole life?"

"Nope, that page is blank. I took them all out when I was younger"

"You terrible, Janko" Jamie said laughing

They continued to open their boxes, trading off and mixing their ornaments as their lives were now intertwined, pausing to ask questions or tell stories.

"I'm hungry, are you?" Jamie asked realizing it was eight at night

"Yea now that you mention it"

"Just get pizza delivered?" Jamie asked

"Sounds good to me, I'm so tired" Eddie said cleaning up the bubblewrap and tissue paper that was now strewn across the room

"I'll order" Eddie said taking her phone out

Jamie hung their wreath on the door now that their tree was fully decorated and Eddie came back and told him pizza would be there in under thirty.

"Ready to see it all lit up?" Jamie asked her

"Yes please" Eddie said, eyes wide

Jamie dimmed their family room lights and went and sat next to Eddie on the sofa. She dropped the blanket over both of them as they sat in front of the fire taking in their tree.

"It's perfect and beautiful" Eddie said

"Pretty nice way to start our first Christmas as a married couple" Jamie said kissing her

"I love you" Eddie said kissing him

They flipped on a Christmas movie when their door bell rang.

"I got it, my wallets in the foyer in my purse" Eddie said getting up

Jamie got up and went to the kitchen and washed his hands and got out some cut up veggies and dip and plates for him and Eddie. They each scooped some slices and vegetables onto their plates and made their way back to the sofa to eat in front of their tree.

"This might be one of the most romantic date nights we've ever had" Eddie said

"it is pretty cozy in here" Jamie said nudging her foot with his

Eddie finished her pizza and yawned "I'm exhausted"

"Well you had us up at the crack of dawn" Jamie said matching her yawn

"We should get to bed soon" Eddie said

"Can't oversleep Church" Jamie said "I don't mind church but some Sunday's I just wish we could go to the later mass. Now that everyone's older it's not like the kids go to bed at 7:30 anymore"

"Well" Eddie said putting a hand on her stomach

"Maybe, even so I think we have a few Sundays to wait if you are pregnant"

"true" Eddie said

"Come on shorty you can put what ever Christmas movie you want on upstairs in bed" Jamie said turning off the tree lights

They both got ready for bed and Eddie laid in the crook of Jamie's arm as she flipped on the Christmas movies

"You're gonna be out cold shortly and I'm gonna get stuck trying to find the remote with a dead arm" Jamie said poking her side

"Who said I was ready to sleep?" Eddie asked as she rolled on top of Jamie, rubbing her hips against his

"Not in front of the Santa movie" Jamie said laughing but slightly horrified

"I don't know it's kinda a turn on" Eddie said laughing "But if you'd rather watch the movie..." Eddie said trying to roll off him

Jamie grabbed her arm and thigh and rolled her under him

"Hell with the movie" Jamie said in low voice that could've melted Eddie's clothes off her

Eddie found the remote and turned off the movie, her bedside lamp was on providing just enough light.

"You sure you don't want to wait until you find out if you're cooking a baby or not?" Jamie asked kissing her neck

"Not when you do that" Eddie said moaning

"I can stop" Jamie said pushing himself up

"Like hell" Eddie said grabbing into his shirt

"Good" Jamie said going back to kissing her before he snaked one hand up her shirt and toyed with her braless breast.

"Jamie" Eddie moaned arching up into him

She started to pull his shirt over his head so he sat up to take it off completely, he reached for the hem of Eddie's and pulled it up, kissing down her stomach to her pajama pants.

"Off" Eddie huffed as Jamie had one of her breasts in her mouth

Jamie did as he was told and pulled her bottoms and her underwear off together as Eddie slipped his boxes off, revealing his growing erection.

"God I love you Reagan" Eddie said as Jamie lips came back crashing down on her

* * *

"Make it stop" Eddie groaned as their alarm went off

"That's the third snooze, we have to get up" Jamie said turning it off

"Ugh" Eddie said

"I mean I thought we were gonna get some extra sleep, I didn't know you were gonna be that turned on, hotshot"

"Yea well it took an extra try" Eddie said blushing at the fact that the first time they had sex the previous night came couldn't get her to orgasam, which was also the first time it ever happened.

"I'm sorry I don't know what happened"

"You're sorry? I'm sorry. I should've known what to do to help you along" Jamie said shaking his head

"You made up for it through" Eddie said thinking about the two orgasms after the failed first one

"Well at lest I got you those times" Jamie said kissing her

"It was pretty hot though, you working overtime to get me off the second time" Eddie said giggling

"And the third"

"I don't remember you complining" Eddie said laughing

"No complaints here" Jamie said squeezing her rib cage

"But now we'll be lucky if we get there on time" Eddie said

"Better get changed quick" Jamie said getting out of bed

They were at Frank's for dinner, since the Jets were playing, everyone decided to move dinner up a little earlier so they wouldn't miss kick off.

Eddie and Jamie were in the kitchen helping Erin with the salad when Eddie flinched.

"Eddie you ok?" Jamie asked

"Yea, I felt a headache brewing and it just got a worse" Eddie said

"Did you take anything?" Erin asked looking at her younger sister-in-law

"I took some medicine after church but it really hasn't done anything" Eddie said

"Why don't you go sit and I can finish helping my sister" Jamie said

"No, no. I'm ok, maybe if I just get my mind off it" Eddie said going back to chopping her vegetables

"Alright, just let me know if you still aren't feeling well" Jamie said

"I'm sure I'm fine" Eddie said kissing him on the cheek

Once they got the dinner in their proper serving bowels, they called everyone in for dinner since Jack and Sean had already set the table.

Henry was going around the table pouring wine when Eddie stopped him.

"None for me Pop" Eddie said giving him the empty glass so it didn't get dirty

"Are you ok?"

"Yea I just have a headache. We decorated our house yesterday, I think I just over did it. The doctor said I could still get headaches here and there. I'll just still with water and ice tea" Eddie said

"Ok" Henry said feeling her forehead to make sure she didn't have a fever

"Pops, I'm ok. I promise" Eddie said

"No fever" Henry said satisfied before he finished pouring the rest of the wine

"Probably wore yourself out last night too, told you that you needed more sleep" Jamie said quietly into her ear so no one else heard. Eddie didn't say anything she just shook her head

Everyone sat down and they asked Eddie how her first week back went, Danny was happy to hear that she was just as good at desk duty as him and Jamie were. Dinner was almost over when Eddie's stomach began to bother her.

"I'm still not feeling so great, do you mind if I excuse myself to go lay down in Jamie's old room?" She asked standing up

"Of course, are you alright?" Frank asked his newest daughter-in-law

"Yea I think I just need to lie down for a bit" Eddie said

Eddie saw Jamie starting to get up when she stopped him. "Stay and finish your dinner, if I start dying I'll text you" Eddie said putting a hand on his shoulder

"Alright, I'll come up to check on you in a little" Jamie said

"How's she gonna text you if she's dying?" Sean asked

"You dummy she was just telling Uncle Jamie not to worry" Jack said rolling his eyes at his brother

"Whoa what's eating you two?" Jamie asked looking at Danny and smirking

"Nothing" Jack and Sean answered in unison

"Sure" Nicky said laughing

"Just like nothing was ever wrong with your father and Uncle Jamie" Frank said sarcastically

"There usually was though" Erin said laughing

Eddie went upstairs to Jamie's old room, and kicked her shoes off and cuddled under the blankets. Between getting shot everything that came with it and the last few days feeling off, she just wished she would fell normal for a day. She knew it was a big game for the Jets and she didn't want to spoil Jamie's fun, she even conceded to wearing one of his green Jets zip-up jacket over her black shirt and jeans. She pulled her knees up to her and laid in fetal position, drifting off to sleep.

After everyone finished eating and they were cleaning up Jamie figured he should go up and check on Eddie.

"Hey how you doing?" Jamie asked as he saw Eddie fixing her hair in the mirror in her bedroom window.

"Eh, I feel the same" Eddie said

"You wanna go home?" Jamie asked her

"No I'm ok. I don't want you to miss the game. Didn't you say it's one they might actually win?" Eddie asked smirking

"Eagles aren't much better babe"

"It's only 2016, Chip just has to settle in" Eddie said

"Sure" Jamie said laughing

"I'm just gonna run to the bathroom" Eddie said

Jamie remade his bed and waited for Eddie. It seemed like it had been taking her a while his phone buzzed in his pocket.

E: Dying

Jamie got out of his room and to the bathroom door in a few steps and knocked on the door

"Yea come in" Eddie said still siting on the toilet

"What's wrong?" Jamie asked slightly panicking

"Well I'm not pregnant and I know why I didn't feel good today" Eddie said sadly

Jamie just looked at her.

"I got my period. I guess I was just late from the stress of the shooting" Eddie said

"You couldn't have waited to tell me that when you got out?" Jamie asked

"No because there's no tampons or pads in this bathroom. I could've sworn I saw some of both in here when we stayed at Thanksgiving

"Alright you wanna go home? Want me to run home to the store?"

"No I know how much you guys wanted to watch this game together and I would like to see them win one, can you just ask Linda or Erin if they have anything?" Eddie asked slightly embarrassed

"You don't, in your bag?"

"Nope" Eddie said knowing she just grabbed her small purse and didn't add anything to it

"You really need me to go ask my sister?" Jamie asked

"You would go to the store but not ask your own sister?" Eddie asked

"Yea, I don't know the store clerk"

"Grow a pair Reagan" Eddie said

"Alright I'll ask Erin first. Sit tight I'll be right back" Jamie said

"Not like I have a choice babe" Eddie said

"Sorry" Jamie said smiling as he went back down to the kitchen

"Hey Sis I need you a second" Jamie said tossing Erin's dish towel to Danny

"Is Eddie ok?" Erin asked as Jamie pulled her back into the now cleared dining room

"Eddie uh, she needs some stuff. Like pads or tampons" Jamie said feeling himself grow red

"Seriously I thought that didn't bother you" Erin said laughing at him

"With Ed no not at all, she's my wife, with you it's weird. So do you have any?"

"Let me check my purse. Is there none under the sink. I usually tried to keep some up there"

"No Eddie said she looked and the box was empty"

"Alright let me go look. If I don't I ask Nicky or Linda so you don't melt into a puddle of embarrassment"

Jamie felt like he was waiting forever before Erin walked back over with a small pouch.

"Linda didn't have any but Nicky did. Nic said to just put what ever Eddie doesn't need under the sink, she just needs the bag back" Erin said handing it to him

Jamie took out the contents and handed the bag back to Erin.

"Thanks Er" Jamie said taking the stairs two at time

"Hey babe" Jamie said knocking on the door

"Yea come in" Eddie said

"Nicky had some in her backpack. She said just to leave the extras in here"

"Oh thank God. Thank you. I'll be out in a second" Eddie said

Jamie leaned against the wall and waited for Eddie. He was slightly disappointed that Eddie wasn't pregnant but he didn't want to upset her more.

"You ok?" Jamie asked as Eddie walked out from the bathroom and hugged Jamie

"Yea" She said sadly

"Ed?" Jamie asked tilting her chin up to meet his

"I just, you know the coin flip thing? Well I really wanted to be pregnant. I didn't think I would be this sad over it" Eddie said feeling her eyes start to water

"Eddie don't cry, babe" Jamie said swiping her cheek with the pad of his thumb

"I just really wanted it even though I was all over the place" Eddie said

"It's ok Eddie, we can just practice a lot" Jamie said smirking as he hugged her

"I know, I mean it's only been a few months but I don't know"

"Hey don't overthink it, it won't do you any good"

"It sucks. Stupid periods" Eddie said putting her head on his chest

"I'm sure it does" Jamie said hugging her

"You need anything? Want me to make you a tea?"

"If I'm not actually pregnant than I want a damn beer" Eddie said

"I can do that" Jamie said laughing as he was still hugging Eddie and rubbing her back

"That feels good" Eddie said

"You only drink you can probably take some pain meds" Jamie said

"I know I married you for a reason"

Jamie went and got the beers and Eddie took some medicine before they settled on the couch.

"Eddie are you feeling ok?" Frank asked her

"Yea, I'm good, thank you" Eddie said hoping her father-in-law didn't press the issue

"Just a headache and all, sometimes it still messes with my stomach" Eddie said sitting in between Jamie's legs, her butt on the sofa with her shorter legs next to his on the footstool.

"You sure you should have beer? I would happily drink it for you" Danny said

"Get out of here" Eddie said taking a sip

Eddie took the blanket off the back of the sofa and put it over her and Jamie. Jamie took a swig of beer and lightly ran his hand over Eddie's stomach and she scooted back closer to him.

"Remember when we used to sit like that" Linda said sitting next to Danny.

"Yea that's how we got that one" Danny said pointing to Jack

"Gross Dad" Jack said cringing

"Alright, alright" Frank said laughing before everyone got all bent out of shape before the first quarter was over.

"You ok?" Jamie asked Eddie quietly

"Yea, I'm ok" Eddie said squeezing his hand

All of a sudden commotion started on the TV and all of the Reagans started yelling.

Jamie jumped up, startling Eddie in the process when they all started yelling touchdown. Once all of the commotion settled and the highfives stopped Jamie sat back down with Eddie in his lap when she tilted her head up to him.

"Was that their first touchdown this season or in franchise history?" She asked innocently

"Oh stop" Jamie said as his hand ticked her side before he went back to rubbing her stomach

"I'm serious" Eddie said

"Gang green baby, gang green" Jamie said kissing her head

"The Eagles wear green too, lambchop" Eddie said sweetly

* * *

I hope you all liked it! I am sorry for the lack of updates, I spent time with family and then life got a little in the way the last few days.

I asked an experienced Blue Bloods writer for some advice, and it was to include some steamier scenes. I have tried writing them before and I felt that they were awkward. It wouldn't be anything explicit as I want to keep them in the T category but do you like the amount I included or do you guys want it a little steamier? Let me know and if there is any storylines you want to see let me know! Don't forget to review!


	11. Chapter 11

"Hey Eddie you ok?" Linda asked the younger woman as they stood in the kitchen getting leftovers

"Yea I'm ok thanks Linda" Eddie said "But what did Jamie say to you?"

"He didn't say anything, just call it my motherly instinct"

Eddie smiled "I thought I might have been pregnant and I didn't know I wanted it until I wasn't. Jamie, he's been ready probably since I was still in college. But he did the whole coin flip thing and I was sad I wasn't pregnant. I've been all over the place since the shooting so I don't think my body would have handled it well right now. I know it wasn't the right time..." Eddie said drifting off

"Eddie?" Linda asked concerned taking the younger woman's hand

"Really I'm ok. Just saying it all outloud" Eddie said letting out a small laugh and waving her hands around

"Jack was a surprise but Sean we had to try a little harder for. Some unsolicited sisterly advice?"

"Of course" Eddie said

"Have fun, don't worry, don't count. You both are young and healthy. The stress you two have been under is imaginable. It'll happen for you two, but don't get caught up in it. I stressed and counted and took my temp for Sean and it wasn't working and so Danny suggested we stop all that, have fun and relax and try later. Few months later I was pregnant. Your body knows when it's ready, just trust it" Linda said hugging Eddie

"Thanks Linda. I needed to hear that. I could tell Jamie was a little disappointed when I called him upstairs earlier but he would never show that in front of me, but then I felt bad being sad when I knew he wouldn't tell me"

"Talk to him about it. Tell him you want him to express it. I've known Jamie since he was seven, expressing his emotions is not something he's good at"

"Tell me about it" Eddie said rolling her eyes

"If you really think there's a problem then go to your doctor and put your mind at ease, but sometimes the more you want something the harder it is to get" Linda said

"Thanks Linda, I needed this"

"It's what sisters do" She said "plus us outsiders need to stick together" She added smirking

"Somehow they don't think of us as outsiders" Eddie said laughing

"And that's a good thing" Linda said handing her the bag of leftovers

"Ready babe? I have an early tour tomorrow" Jamie asked walking into the kitchen

He held his hand out for the bag from Eddie so she gave it to him. "All set"

They their their goodbyes and made the short drive back to their house.

"Everything ok? You and Linda were in there awhile"

"Yea just talking" Eddie said

"Everything ok? You two complaining about marrying Reagan's?" Jamie asked smirking as he pulled into the driveway

"No" Eddie said laughing and rolling her eyes "More girl stuff than anything" She added shrugging getting out.

"Ok" Jamie said walking up behind her as she unlocked the door.

"I'm gonna head up and get ready for bed" Jamie said

"Ok I'll come up and read in bed with you" Eddie called out from putting their left overs away.

Jamie had changed into a pair of flannel pajama pants and was already in bed when Eddie walked in "you still up?" Eddie asked

"Yea what's up?" Jamie asked sitting up

"Give me a second to get ready for bed" Eddie said disappearing into their bathroom

"You take more than a second, I told you I have an early tour" Jamie said laughing

"Will you just be quiet" Eddie called from the other side of the door

He heard the sink go on but she still hadn't come back out.

"Any day Janko"

"Oh my god stop" She said laughing

"See I peed and changed and brushed my teeth and washed my face all while you were still bitching" Eddie said getting into bed

"Maybe I just wanted to do this" Jamie said rolling on top of her and kissing her

"Jamie" Eddie said pushing him off

"Whoa sorry" Jamie said

"We can't remember, I'm..." Eddie said

Before she could say anything else Jamie cut her off "No I know, you usually don't object to me making out with you though" Jamie said slightly confused

"Why don't we have some fun tomorrow night, just us, me and you. Let me plan, I'll leave out what you need to wear and I'll pick you up. Don't worry about anything" Jamie said kissing her cheek

" I just got done telling you sex isn't going to happen"

"Get your mind out of the gutter Janko, there's other fun things to do in this world" Jamie said smirking

"Uh-uh we don't do other fun stuff" Eddie said

"No forms of any sex will be had. We will be keep our clothes on at all times" Jamie said holding his hand up like a Boy Scout.

"So you really just magically thought of something fun to do just like that?" Eddie asked skeptically

"I've been mulling it over, needed to wait till it was the right time"

"Right time to what stress me out more?" Eddie said

"Do you trust me?" Jamie asked

"With my life, but that's not the point"

"The point is we're gonna have fun tomorrow and I've taken care of everything and all you have to do is put the clothes on that I put on the bed and and wait for me to pick you up" Jamie said

"You're infuriating Reagan" Eddie said reaching for her phone

"Don't bother texting Kara or Haylie neither of them know what I have planned" Jamie said taking her phone out of her hands.

"Eddie I think you'll really enjoy it and if you don't we'll leave. But just relax and let me kiss you" Jamie said rolling over and taking her mouth with his

Eddie gave into it and then rolled on top of Jamie.

"Tell me" She said into his mouth poking his side

"Sorry little busy" he said kissing her again

Jamie felt like there was more she wasn't saying so he flipped her back to her side of the bed and sat up.

"Ed what's going?" Jamie asked her seriously

"What?"

"I mean yea you can run a little feisty at times but usually I can read you and you're confusing the hell out of me today"

"Ha me? What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You were all gung-ho about me possibly being pregnant and then today when I got my period you just went about your day like I read you the weather report and didn't care" She said getting agitated

"Of course I care Eddie but what did you want me to do, yell at you for not being impregnated with my baby? I mean we knew it was a long shot"

"Then tell me how you're feeling. Rocket science is easier than Pulling emotions out of you"

"Eddie" Jamie said gently as he put his hand on her leg "Yea I was disappointed that you weren't pregnant but there wasn't anything to do to change it right now. I'm not gonna get made at you for that Eds"

"Then why didn't you tell me you were bummed?" Eddie asked

"Why would I? To make you more upset? Eddie it's not just you, you kinda need me for it too" Jamie said nudging her foot with his

"I guess" Eddie said

"If I was mad at you for not being pregnant I'd have to mad at me too. I'm pretty sure you need me for it. It's not something to get mad over or even disappointed" Jamie said before Eddie cut him off

"But what if I lost the baby? What if I was pregnant and then something happened"

"I wouldn't be mad, I would sad and upset, devastated but no anger" Jamie said

"Eddie what's going on?" He asked her

"I just felt like you're so either way it didn't matter and I know I was all confused with what I wanted but you didn't really care today"

"What. Janko look at me, of course I cared. Yea I had wanted you to be pregnant, you know I want kids with you. But like I said I knew you were upset and it wasn't gonna do either of us any good for me to upset you more"

"I just felt alone" Eddie said looking away

"Eddie" Jamie said softly "you're never alone, not with me, babe. I truly am sorry that I didn't voice how I was feeling but I didn't want to upset you more"

"Maybe I'm over reacting"

"It wouldn't be the first time" Jamie said smirking

"I know it won't be the last" Eddie said smiling "Jamie can you promise me that you will try to be more expressive about your feelings"

"I promise to try. My dad says Danny and I are emotionally constipated though. Joe, he wore his heart on his sleeve like you" Jamie said "And Ed if you ever feel like your alone, just talk to me" Jamie said taking her hand

He heard her sniff and saw her quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I don't know what's wrong with me" Eddie said

"We've been through a lot together, you're tired and emotional and it's fine, there's nothing wrong with you"

"Sometimes like today I just feel like you used to express your emotions more when we were just friends"

"Maybe I did, I don't know. I know it sounds terrible but I'm the one that's supposed to take care of you and protect you and I know it's old fashioned and I'm expecting a slap in the stomach any second but it's more I'm not good with emotions and that I don't want to upset you" Jamie said

"I don't need protecting Jamie I just need you"

"Ok. I just didn't want to burden you or upset you because you've been hurting so much. I thought it would've been selfish of me" Jamie

"You don't have a selfish bone in your body Jamie"

"Look at us handling things like adults" Jamie said

"Just promise to talk to me"

"How is it that we can communicate with looks but when it comes to feelings we can't? Jamie asked her

"I can, you're the one that can't Mr. Emotionally Constipated"

"I will try to voice my feelings, but you should never question how I feel about you"

"I love you" Eddie said turning to hug him

"I love you too Eds" He said kissing her head "Don't worry I'll make sure I get you knocked up" he added laughing

"So romantic"

"There's a short amount of time I can talk about my feelings before I spontaneously combust" Jamie said smirking

"You're such a jerk" Eddie said laughing and poking him in the side

Jamie grabbed her hand that was poking his side and took it in his.

"We good Eddie?" Jamie asked her, more serious

"Yea we are, I don't know. It's been an overwhelming month and I just need to go back on the street, feel like myself again. This whole crying thing isn't my style"

"You need to let your emotions out, go for it" Jamie said

"It's not just that, it's more like I feel like I'm not capable of anything" Eddie said pulling away from him

"Hey whoa this is something we need to talk about" Jamie said tugging her arm

"You have an early tour" Eddie states

"I'll drink extra coffee" Jamie deadpanned

"It's dumb"

"Not dumb if it's bothering you" Jamie said

"This would be easier to say if you were still my partner" Eddie started

"Okayyyyy" Jamie said not sure where she was going

"I feel like I'm the scared little girl again and I hate feeling like that. Like the other day it felt like bring your little sister to work day. Oh hey there's Eddie all fragile and emotional"

"First of all I don't think of you in any same category as Erin. Second of all you feel what you feel, third of all I don't think anyone thinks your fragile, fourth of all"

"Fourth of all?" Eddie asked cutting him off

"Yea fourth of all. I'm not done, fourth of all Eddie your badass you shouldn't feel otherwise. And lastly, fifth of all don't let anyone make you feel small or bad or anything else. You got hurt on the job Ed, it happens it can happen to any of us. No one judges you for it. I think you're just insecure about it and that's fine, but I don't think anyone thinks of you any differently"

"Fifth of all doesn't exist" Eddie said

"Come on Ed" Jamie pleaded

"Maybe it's just in my own head, but it's how I feel. Like I have to prove to everyone I still belong out there"

"I kinda get that, I felt like people were judging me after Vinny was killed like oh yea he can't keep his partner alive whose gonna wanna ride with him? He's only here cause he's the PC's son. But I was only seeing what I want to see, it was more people were trying to help me though it and I took it the wrong way"

"And if you feel like you have to prove something I'm sure you'll kick ass first day back on the street"

"I guess" Eddie said not totally convinced

"It's more than just he job bothering you, spit it out"

"What if this is some sign that I shouldn't have kids, that because my family life was so screwed up, I would screw up any potential l children. Or what if I can't have kids?" Eddie asked in a small voice

"You're gonna be a great mom, look how you are with the boys and Nicky and the kids we interact with at work. Eddie you're nothing like your mom. And you don't know if you can't have kids right? So don't stress about something that most likely isn't true, and if we struggle then we'll do it together and figure it out"

"Man and you say I hold everything in?" Jamie asked raising an eye

"I don't know how we got here, when it all got complicated" Eddie said gesturing

"It's life babe, good and bad. But I know there's no one else I'd rather have by my side"

"How long you've been feeling inadequate?"

"Since I went back to work and then now since I wasn't pregnant which like is the one thing I'm supposed to be able to do"

"We just stopped using condoms"

"So teenagers get pregnant by looking at each other"

"You've officially lost your mind. Just relax. I promise tomorrow will help"

" Please tell me" Eddie begged

"Early tour, time to sleep" Jamie said shimmying down in the bed

"Reagan" Eddie groaned

"There's nothing you can do to make me tell you" Jamie said

"Nothing? Is that a challenge?" Eddie asked with a smug look

Before Jamie could answer Eddie rolled back on top of him and started kissing down his chest and her hands got dangerously close to pushing his pajama bottoms and boxers off.

"Alright so maybe. But I'm not telling you. It'll ruin the surprise" Jamie said trying to resist her

"Ugh fine" Eddie said rolling off him

"You kill me Janko you know that?"

"And you love every second of it" Eddie said

"Whatever you jerk" Jamie said laughing and cuddling closer to Eddie

"Do you think any other couple uses the work jerk as a term of endearment?" Eddie asked grinding her butt into Jamie

"No and stop that" Jamie said lightly swatting her butt

"I thought you like my ass" Eddie said turning her head

"Oh I love it, all those years you kept telling me your ass didn't look good in those uniform pants were such a lie"

"But you're my jerk" Eddie said giggling

"I wouldn't advertise that. I have a Boy Scout image to uphold" Jamie said kissing her

"Can't mess that up now can we?" Eddie asked kissing him back

"You ok babe?" Jamie asked as he ran his fingers on her side

"Yea, I am. I promise. I just need to relax I know" Eddie said

"I love you Eds. And I'll never stop trying to protect you, it's who I am" Jamie said

"I know, it's one of the things I love about you. Like I said Jamie, you're the best person I know and you're my best friend" Eddie said "I love you even when I try and fight with you and you shut me down"

"Sometimes I don't think I have the patients to deal with you" Jamie said smirking

"Oh whatever" Eddie said rolling her eyes "So about tomorrow?"

"I'm not telling you, just know you'll have a good time" Jamie said

"I can try and get it out of you, you never wearing a shirt to bed even when it's freezing out helps that"

"You're a fucking heater Eddie, I wake up hot even without a shirt when you decide you need a Jamie sized pillow" He said cuddling her

"But you're my Jamie sized pillow, I gotta make sure you keep that tummy of yours warm and toasty" She said laughing

"Alright, I really need to sleep now. I gotta be up early" he said

"Good night Jamie, I love you" She said turning her head to kiss him

"I love you too" he said squeezing his arm around her.

* * *

"Reagan what the hell" Jamie heard someone yell as he walked into his office

"Good morning Kara?"

"For the love of God why would you intentionally torture your wife?"

"I'm not following, it's early" Jamie said looking at his watch that read 6:30

"Um the Eddie we know and love has been temporarily replaced with a stressed out overly cautious and overly emotional Eddie and you're making it work"

"What are you talking about she was still sleeping when I left. She didn't even budge when I kissed her goodbye"

"Um last night. I had like ten texts asking if I knew where your fun little date was tonight" Kara said slightly annoyed

"What bug is up your ass this morning?"

"No big, just wondering why you would irritate her more"

"Ok she needs to calm down, she's been worrying about everything since she got shot. I planned a fun night, I promise you she sill enjoy it"

"You really gonna make her wait all day"

"I wanted to do something nice for her, she deserves it" Jamie said

"I agree but pissing her off beforehand won't help"

" 'the hell does she think I'm taking her a swingers party?" Jamie asked laughing

"Tell me, I promise not to tell her" Kara begged

"You're gonna spill it to her" Jamie stated

"I won't Reagan, I'll just guide her on where to gauge her emotions"

"She's got her head totally in some creek in a gutter and I think that she thinks that we're gonna try everything in the magazine that sounds like a drink, I'm blanking"

"Cosmo?" Kara asked laughing

"Yea that one" Jamie said nodding

"Why would make her think that?" Kara asked

"She said we can't do anything and I told her there's other fun things to do aside from rolling around between the sheets"

"Oh I don't need to hear this" Kara said rolling her eyes

"All you need to tell her is that she will be fully clothed, dinner is involved and she'll get to relax" Jamie said

"It better be good Reagan" Kara said

"I really think she'll like it" Jamie said

"Well then I can't wait to hear about it" Kara said

"Kara is everything ok? Usually I only get attitude from Eddie this early in the morning" Jamie said drinking his coffee

"Yea I'm good, just tired. Sorry for pouncing when you got in"

"It's good that you guys are friends even if you take her side even though I took yours" Jamie said droning on

"That was years ago, get over it" Kara said laughing

"I have to get changed for roll call, I don't need my Sargent yelling at me, he can be a real pain in the ass" She said walking to his door

"Yea you better get moving don't wanna piss him off. I hear the fleet needs cleaning" he said smugly

"I'm going, I'm going he said hurrying out of the room.

* * *

So where do you think Jamie is taking her? What relaxing thing does he have planned. I know, but do you? Let me know what you're thinking, either leave a review or send me a DM. You won't win anything other than the satisfaction of knowing and bragging rights!

The hint is: there's two events Jamie planned and they occur in two different places.

Don't forget to review!

I'm also sorry for any formatting issues, I wrote this chapter on my phone.


	12. Chapter 12

Eddie had texted him when she woke up asking what kind of clothes she should set out but Jamie just simply replied he'd take care of it. Eddie was intrigued but also frustrated. This is something more she would do than him and she realized that she liked the calculated, thought out Jamie. To her, this was a whim and he swan dived of the preverbal handle. Jamie how ever had it all planned out, not a whim not running with his hair on fire. He knew exactly where they would go and what they would do.

Their paths crossed in the precinct and Jamie was ready to battle her to get her to just drop it.

"Hey babe" Eddie said poking her head in the office

"Hey Eds" he said happily, standing up

He went over to her and have her a quick kiss, even in his office they were highly careful of the PDA. They didn't want any reason for someone to transfer one of them.

"Where's Dugan?" Eddie asked

"Filling our the paperwork he told me he did yesterday that he didn't. I had to get tough with him"

"Oooo Mr. Tough guy put on his big boy pants today" Eddie said teasing

"I had to do it with you too sometimes"

"Now I just take your pants off" Eddie stated

Jamie just laughed and rolled his eyes and gave her another quick kiss.

"How you feeling today?" He asked her

"I'm good, cramps are the same, nothing some anti-inflammatories won't fix"

"Good. You're in a surprisingly good mood" Jamie said

"You prefer when I'm a bitch?" Eddie asked raising an eye

"Oh no, God no. Just with everything last night and me not telling you where we're going"

"I've given up on that one. I trust you and if it's awful I'll just kick your ass" Eddie said shrugging

"Of course you will" Jamie said smiling

"You'll have a good time, I promise. You better go. Those phones won't answer themselves" he said putting a hand on her shoulder

"Ugh don't remind me. I need off of desk duty" Eddie whined "you would think you being a Sargent would come I handy"

"I'm not gonna forge the doc's signature babe"

"I know I just hate desk duty"

"Don't we all" Jamie said

"Be careful" Eddie said

"Always am, try not to yell at the people of New York"

"I make no promises" Eddie said

"That's my girl" Jamie said playfully swatting her arm as he walked by

"Ready Dugan?" Jamie asked walking over to his young partners desk

"Yea, I just have one left" he said

"Now do you know why you're supposed to stay on top of your paperwork?"

"Yes boss" he said

"Don't make me yell at you again, I don't like it" Jamie said shuddering

"Yea it's not great when you yell. Last time I saw you that mad at me was when I begged you to pick me up when I was in high school and got really drunk at that party"

"You threw up on me" Jamie stated

"I said I was sorry"

"It was like three years later and your mom found out and she chewed me a new one for covering for you"

"Yea she wasn't happy"

"I was a grown ass man getting yelled at like when we're kids again"

"I appreciated you covering for me even if you yelled the next morning"

"I needed to get ready for the day, you were still passed out"

"I was hungover!"

"You were still drunk Case" Jamie said laughing "leave it to you to call a cop on your underage drinking self"

"I learned my lesson that night" he said groaning

"Yea I bet you did. Now come on let's go. Write faster"

"And you call Eddie demanding?"

"Move it or I'll call your mom and start spilling everything else we used to do when we were younger"

"God no, I'm still the golden child" Casey said laughing

"So what did you end up deciding with the girl you were talking about?" Jamie asked

"I said hi to her the other day when I saw her at the court house"

"And?"

"She hardly acknowledged me"

"Gotta step it up Case"

"You giving dating advice?"

"How long it take you grow the balls to ask Janko out?" He asked smirking

"That was different. She was my best friend"

"That you wanted to sleep with"

"Alright yea but we stayed friends. Your age group has no qualms about sleeping around and friends with benefits"

"My age group? Thanks pops" Casey said laughing

"Fuck I sound like Danny or my dad. Ok that doesn't leave the squad car" Jamie stated

He looked over during the red light and saw his partner looking at his phone.

"Direct order to not tell anyone else coming from a superior officer" Jamie stated

"Sure take all the fun out of it" Casey said stashing his phone away "And I don't belong with the rest of my generation. I have qualms, lots of em about a lot things. I think friends with benefits is dumb"

"Don't be so uptight old man" Jamie said laughing

"Is this what it was like for you and Eddie the whole time everyone prying into your personal life?"

"Uh yea pretty much even the 12th precinct brass thought we were together"

"I'm sure you loved that"

"She and I knew the truth, she was more than a one night stand or casual hookup. I didn't wanna risk our partnership and friendship till I was sure"

"I get that"

"How? You just don't wanna get rejected by the hot future lawyer"

"Reagan" Casey said groaning "you and Eddie talk about your dates and conquests while you were partners?"

"Yea and it usually ended with one of us mad at the other and jealous"

"Well not all of us can have our future wives plopped into a squad car next to us" Casey said

"Yea you got me, that's much better" Jamie said smirking as he pulled into the precinct lot.

"Drinks tonight?" Casey asked

"Sorry need a rain check. Hot date with Eddie"

"Oh I heard about that. The girls were all trying to figure out where you're taking her"

"You eavesdrop on the girls locker room?"

"No Jenna told me"

"What about Jenna?" Jamie asked

"What about Jenna what?"

"You guys are pretty close" Jamie said as they walked up

"Were just friends, she's been with the same guy since college"

"You know her life?"

"Yea I've been friends with her since the academy" Casey said

"What ever, we gotta get you a girlfriend so you'll stop thirdwheeling Eddie and I. Especially when you call us mom and dad" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"Oh you two like it" Casey said

"Do your paper work Dugan" Jamie said

"Want me to clean my room and put clean underwear on too dad?" Casey asked smirking

"Stop, you're the worst" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"Night, have fun tonight" Casey said waving like a little kid

"See you tomorrow" Jamie said

He quickly changed and told Eddie he'd see her when it was time to pick her up.

He got everything he needed out of the garage and loaded his tiny car. Once he dropped everything at the mystery location he went back home and laid out the clothes Eddie would need, with some extras just in case. He changed and went to pick the food up from his grandfather. He narrowly missed Eddie since he saw her pull down the street as he turned away.

Eddie couldn't get any information out of anyone and was left with no answers and no idea where they were going. She got home and booked it up the stairs expecting to see Jamie laying there naked but he wasn't home. She walked over to the bed, also expecting to see a sexy dress or lingerie but instead she saw long johns and heavy clothes.

"What the fuck?" She mumbled

She spotted a small note with Jamie's slightly sloppy writing. 'Dress warm babe'

Eddie went and got ready in the bathroom and came back and stared at the clothes laying on the bed. She slid the thermal long johns on first, followed by the snow pants Jamie had apparently bought her. Next came a fleece lined, cold gear turtleneck

"Are we going to the artic?" Eddie said as she slipped it on

Next came a long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt and finally her puffy winter coat.

"I swear to God we better not be camping" she said to no one but herself

She put on heavy socks and her uggs and grabbed the hat, scarf and gloves Jamie had put on the bed.

"At least he thought of everything" Eddie said

She checked her phone and saw a missed text from Jamie stating that he was on his way back. As she was walking down the the stairs the doorbell rang.

"Of course" She said smiling to herself

She saw Jamie's smiling face through the glass storm door and saw he was holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Hey Eddie" Jamie said smiling

"Hey Jamie" Eddie said feeling butterflies

"These are for you" Jamie said kissing her and handing her the flowers

"They are beautiful, thank you. Let me put them in water before we go" Eddie said

Jamie walked into the kitchen and got the vase down as Eddie unwrapped them.

"So now are you gonna tell me why I'm dressed like an Olympic snowboarder?"

"Not yet" Jamie said smirking

"I'm wearing Uggs. I don't need like hiking boots or anything do I?"

"Nope I didn't leave them out did I?"

"Jamie I've been a cop long enough to know this is how people get murdered"

"I'm not gonna murder you" he said laughing as they walked out of the house

"Ok so I've decided to just be surprised" Eddie said

"That's a first" Jamie said rolling his eyes as he opened the car door for Eddie

"So chivalrous"

"I told you it was gonna be a proper date" Jamie said closing the door

"So you gonna cuff me to the door, blindfold me, or what?"

"You're sick you know that" Jamie said looking at her like she was crazy

"Do I get an ETA?"

"Five minutes- eight max"

"Ok" Eddie said nodding

Jamie had the music on the the background and his left hand on the wheel and his right on the center console between him and Eddie. Jamie felt for her fingers and quickly brushed his hand over them, causing a shock of electricity to run though Eddie.

'You're married to the man, he's your husband stop acting like a nervous teenager' she said to herself

Jamie's fingers found Eddie's and he laced his with hers.

"We're here babe" Jamie said parking the car

He quickly got out and before Eddie knew it he was opening her car door

"Here?" Eddie asked recognizing the pier immediately

"What?" Jamie asked giving her a similar tool to the night he asked her to go dancing

"Just not what I was expecting" Eddie said slightly confused

"Come on" Jamie said holding out a gloved hand for her

They walked down to the end of the pier where Jamie had set up two chairs, fishing equipment and dinner. He lit the battery operated candles and wrapped Eddie in a blanket before wrapping one around himself

"You warm enough?" He asked hugging her

"Y..Yea" Eddie said taking it all in

"The fish are running and I thought we could use a date night. Show you that you're more than just an invalid patient, that's how you put it I think"

"Yea I did" Eddie said blushing

"This is what I meant when I said we could still have other fun. It doesn't always have to end with us taking our clothes off and having sex. Don't get me wrong I love that but spending time with you is second to none"

"Jamie" Eddie said putting her gloves hand on his cheek "it's perfect"

" Let's cast and then eat" Jamie said

"What's for dinner?" Eddie asked

"I asked Pop to make soup and bread"

"Yum" Eddie said taking the thermos from Jamie "you really went all out Reagan"

"I wanted to do something special for us"

"I appreciate it, I'm sorry I was trying to get info from everyone"

"If you hadn't I would've been worried" Jamie said leaning across his chair and kissing her

"I'm apologizing for being a bitch, you could at least acknowledge it" Eddie said laughing "I don't know why but I felt like you didn't see me as your wife, just someone that needed you taking care of them and I hated that you were ok with it and I hated not feeling like your wife"

"Eddie you got hurt and it scared me half to death, I would've done anything to make you better. I told you I love sex with you, I love everything about your boobs and your ass but you needed help and I was perfectly fine doing that. Maybe I coddled you a little"

"A little?" Eddie asked laughing "I was naked and wet and you didn't try anything, I was worried you lost your penis or something"

Jamie just shot her a look and took a sip of soup "we had this conversation, you were vulnerable and injured of course I was gonna take care of you"

"Then when you said other fun, I don't know I got all weird"

"You think I was taking you to bingo and shuffleboard?"

"Yea that or the weird obscure stuff I tell you about in cosmo so we can make fun of it together. I was nervous about tonight" Eddie said sheepishly

"I never wanted to make you nervous. You should no I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable" Jamie said taking her hand

"I know, I was overreacting"

"You? What?!" Jamie asked laughing

Eddie finished the rest of her soup and laid her head in Jamie's shoulder.

"Ed one the things that made me fall in love with you was just being with you, no matter what we were doing. I told you the sex is great but sometimes I just want us as us. You know? Beers and darts and hanging out and talking"

"Like old times?" Eddie said happily

"Yea exactly. Even if I didn't know how to say it. Every time you opened up about something I got to see you for you not the tough guy act at the precinct but the real Eddie, the Eddie I fell in love with. This" he said gesturing "while more romantic that before is just as good to me" he said kissing her

"I love you Jameson Reagan" she said kissing his lips

"Love you too Eds" Jamie said smiling

"Sometimes it infuriates me when you're so perfect, like I knew whatever we did tonight wouldn't make me uncomfortable but I still panicked"

"I had been planning this, I just had to wait for the fish to run"

"Well I think they ran the other direction" Eddie said laughing

Their lines had been in but they had yet to catch anything

"Yea well they have a mind of their own" Jamie said laughing

"You want anything else?" He asked

"No I'm full, the soup was delicious" Eddie said putting their thermoses back in the basket

"I can't believe you planned all this, it's incredibly sweet" she said

"I wanted to do something nice for you" Jamie said

"You really all the perfect husband"

"Nah" Jamie said kissing her and taking her hand

He pressed a button on his phone as he took Eddies hand in his and pulled her close to him.

"Jamie you're about to dance" she said smiling

"I told you, right place, right time, right girl"

They danced in the pier, never catching a fish when Jamie pulled her closer.

"I hope you're as happy as I am to be married to you"'Jamie said kissing her cheek

"I am, Jamie you have no idea" Eddie said

"Promise we'll take this baby making thing one month at a time, that your not gonna consume your whole life with it and drive yourself crazier than you already are"

"I'll do my best" Eddie said agreeing

They were still dancing when it started to snow.

Eddie had her head on Jamie's chest so she lifted it and gave him a quick kiss.

"Jamie it's snowing" Eddie said happily

"Yea so it is" he said smiling and looking up

"It's the first snowfall of us being married" Eddie squealed

She took her phone out of her pocket and took a picture of the two of them smiling, Eddie looking at the camera but Jamie looking at Eddie.

The song was over and their wedding song came on.

"Oh Jamie" Eddie said feeling her eyes water

"No tears babe" Jamie said spinning her back towards him

"It was a perfect night, thank you" Eddie said kissing him

"I'll always love you Jamie" Eddie said

"Always?" Jamie asked her

"Always" Eddie stated

* * *

After the temperature dropped some more and the snow picked up they cleaned everything up and went back home.

"You wanna start the fire and I'll get dessert?" Jamie asked

"Yea I can do that" Eddie smiled

"Jamie" Eddie said as they drove home

"Yea"

"I still feel all butterfly-y" Eddie said giggling

"That's cute" he said taking her hand "I was a little nervous picking you up"

"That's cute too" Eddie said

"Can we promise that no matter what happens we'll always make time for us, to remind each other how much we love each other?" Eddie asked

"I like that idea" Jamie said "and your night still isn't over Mrs. Reagan"

"What do you mean? I figured we were gonna watch a Christmas movie"

"We can, I was also gonna give you a massage. I know when you have your period your back always gets tight, and with your shoulder rehab I figured I would give you a full massage"

"That sounds amazing" Eddie said

"I thought you'd like it" Jamie said

They pulled up to the house and went in and Eddie got the fire going and Jamie got dessert and everything else he would need

They are their chocolate cake that Henry had also made when Jamie asked where she would want her massage.

"We can do it in the bed if you want or in front of the fire it's up to you" Jamie said

"Fire, definitely"

"You want me leave while you strip?"

"Strip?"

"I was gonna use the lotion you liked but if you want you can keep your clothes on"

"No lotion is nice. I'll take everything off except for my underwear. Let me just go the bathroom first"

Once Eddie left the room he spread out a big beach towel on the floor and placed a pillow there for Eddies head. He warmed up the lotion and before he knew it Eddie was back and in a robe.

"I had a lot of layers on and there's nothing sexy about taking off cold gear clothes"

"Ok" Jamie said laughing

"Lay down on your stomach when you're ready" Jamie instructed

Eddie was laying on her stomach and shimmied out of her robe so Jamie laid a Blanket on her back so she wouldn't get cold.

"You want a head massage too?"

"Oh yea" Eddie said

Jamie moved up to her head and sat pretzel style next to her when he started as the base of her neck and moved up to the top of her head.

"Jamie" Eddie moaned

He wasn't expecting her to say his name the same she said it during sex but here they were, her mostly naked in their living room completely turning him on.

He continued to massage her head working his way to her forehead and temples and back.

"You could literally get me off on this head massage alone" Eddie moaned

"Me too" Jamie said cheekily

"Keep going that's amazing" Eddie said

Jamie worked his way back down her head and to the tops of her shoulder. He got the lotion and put some on her back as he continued to knead and manipulate her tense muscles.

"Mmmm" Eddie moaned

"Feel good?" Jamie asked her

Before she could answer she hissed as Jamie hit a knot in her shoulder

"Now I gotta change my...answer. Dammit Reagan that hurts" Eddie said as Jamie stayed in the same spot

"It'll feel better when I'm done" Jamie said kissing the spot after he was done

He continued down the rest of her back working his fingers into all the right spots in her spine. His fingers tickling her sides in between and grazing a nipple.

"No fair, you forget how sensitive my boobs are when I have my period"

"I didn't forget" Jamie said in a low gravely voice

"No?" Eddie asked

"Nope, they looked like they needed some massaging" Jamie said

Eddie moaned again as Jamie worked his hands back to her spine.

"That was amazing" Eddie said

"Not done yet" Jamie sad as he lightly slapped her butt

"Hey whoa!" Eddie yelped

"It's not my fault it was looking all perfect"

"You're such an ass man" Eddie said giggling as Jamie lightly traced his fingers over her underwear clad butt.

"I'm also a boob man when it comes to you. And smile, and eyes and shoulders and everything else about you" Jamie said leaning up and kissing the side of her neck.

"You better not get me all hit a bothered here Mr. Reagan"

"I would never" Jamie said feigning innocence

"Yes you would" Eddie said laughing, trying to reach back for him

"Yea you're right" Jamie said "I won't do your front. I'll save that for another day"

"Why is that?" Eddie asked innocently

"Cause your irresistible" Jamie said

"Oh really?" Eddie asked him

"Oh yea" Jamie said rolling her over and kissing her

"You have a morning tour tomorrow"

"Yea I do" Jamie said

"You should get ready for bed"

"You should come with me, keep my company"

"I can do that"

"We could shower tonight. Together"

"Yea?" Eddie asked raising her eye

"Oh yea" Jamie said taking her mouth in his

When he released her mouth they both were out of breath and flushed.

"I feel like a horny high school kid trying to not get caught but see how far we can go" Eddie said

"I'm pretty sure we're gonna enjoy practicing making a baby" Jamie said smirking

"Oh yea" Eddie said kissing him back "tonight was perfect lambchop. Thank you" Eddie said

* * *

So totally more mushy than I usually write. Let me know what you think, don't forget to private message me or leave me a review!


	13. Chapter 13

"You sure you don't want me to go?" Jamie asked her

"Positive, it's just a checkup for my shoulder. I've been shooting great, aims better than yours. I'm good to go" Eddie said

"You ready to get back to the street?" Jamie asked, ignoring the shooting comment.

"Apprehensive but yea" Eddie said

"Cause you're terrible at desk duty, you know how many complaints get to my desk because of your answers?" Jamie asked her

"I think they're creative"

"Telling a woman to take the damn roast out of the freezer herself isn't great customer service" Jamie said laughing

"Well don't call the cops cause your fourteen year old forgot to do what you said" Eddie said rolling her eyes

"How were you even in business"

"I'm charming and I think that they are creative" Eddie said smirking

Jamie just rolled his eyes.

"Alright stop harassing my people skills and get to work, you're gonna be late" Eddie said

"Alright if I'm not at the precinct call me and tell me how you made out"

"I promise" Eddie said kissing him "Be safe"

"I will, you too" Jamie said "What time do you think you will be home by?"

"I think like 11. I should be done around 10:30. Even if I get cleared I don't think Renzulli will send me out tonight."

"Don't rush anything"

"Thank you Mr. Worry pants"

"I love you too" Jamie said smirking

"I love you, be careful"

"I will, just text me with how your appointment goes"

"I will, now go. You don't want to be late" Eddie said

"See you tonight" Jamie said

* * *

"Hey Reagan you're off by dinner right?" Kara asked him as he walked into the roll call room

"Yea I am but Ed's gotta work tonight" Jamie said

"Would you be free for dinner?" Kara asked, slightly nervous

"Yea I'm free. What's up? Is everything ok?"

"Yea, yea. My parents have the kids and Matt's working so I thought it would be nice to go out with some friends"

"Sure Ed's gotta work. Where do you want to go?"

"The farm place around the corner. Just us though is that ok?" Kara asked playing with her hat

"Whoa you going all healthy on me too? Eddie and I ate there a few weeks ago, it was really good. Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yea I'm great"

"Yea us is fine" Jamie said not believing her

"Thanks Jamie" Kara said

They ran though roll call and Jamie and Casey went to their RMP.

"So when do I get my drinking buddies back?" Casey asked

"Soon enough. Eddie's doing better. However she is trying to get pregnant so I'm not sure how long you'll have a drinking buddy"

"Trying? Shouldn't you know what your doing. I mean you are married. Okay Jamie when a man and women love each other sometimes they take their clothes and the man has to..."

"Ok, ok I got it" Jamie said laughing at his younger partner

"You do know where to put it right?" Casey asked him laughing

"Yea and I know where I'm gonna put you too" Jamie said

"That's unnecessary" Casey said

"Damn I knew I shouldn't have told you" Jamie said laughing

"Please I'm the little brother you always wanted"

"Yea I guess so" Jamie said shaking his head

"So other than trying to get pregnant how's Eddie doing? I thought she would've been cleared by now"

"She actually has her appointment today, she's been doing really well. I think she'll get cleared"

"You ok with that?" Casey asked

"Yea I obviously I worry about her but it's her job. And I know she's good at it"

"Dude who are you sometimes?"

"Wait till you get married Dugan"

Jamie's phone went off and Casey looked and informed him that it was Eddie. He pulled the RMP over and called Eddie back.

"Hey Eddie is everything ok?" Jamie asked into his phone

"Yea I just wanted to call you and tell you I got cleared!"

"Congrats babe, I know how much you were missing it"

"I was. He starting me off slow but I should be back to full time by the end of next week"

"Good, see I told you that you just needed to have patience"

"Ok go back to tour, tell Casey I said hi"

"Bye Eds" Jamie said hanging up

"She good?" Casey asked

"Yea, she's cleared and said to say hi"

"You think they will put you guys together?"

"No way in hell. No rule against it but the bosses still won't. You trying to get rid of me?"

"Never" Casey said laughing

Jamie and Casey had taken a few calls and were back in the precinct finishing their paperwork when Eddie walked into the precinct. Jamie went over to greet her and see if she knew what was up with Kara.

"Hey Eds"

"Hey Jamie. How was tour?"

"Fairly quiet, thankfully"

"Always a good day" Eddie said agreeing

"I'm gonna grab dinner with Kara tonight. Do you know if somethings up with her?"

"No she hasn't said, why?" Eddie asked

"She didn't want to go to Finnegan's and she just seems jumpy" Jamie confessed

"Ok well let me know if somethings up" Eddie said slightly concerned

"I will" Jamie said

"I'll see you tonight, I should be in around 11 I think. I'm doing two extra hours for Peters"

"Ok you want me to get you dinner or anything?"

"No I brought leftovers" Eddie said

"Ok, see you tonight. Love you" Jamie said as Casey came and told them they had to go

"Love you too" Eddie said

After tour Jamie had changed and was waiting for Kara to come out of the locker room.

"Hey sorry" Kara said coming over to him

"That's ok, I'm used to waiting for Eddie" Jamie said laughing

"She does take forever to change" Kara said laughing

"You decide where you want to go?" Jamie asked her

"There's this good farm fresh place around the corner, what do you think?"

"Yea that's good" Jamie said nodding

They went to say bye to Eddie but she was on the phone so they just waved and left, taking their own cars.

They got to the restaurant and Jamie put their name in as Kara walked over to him

"They said about a 10 minute wait" Jamie said

"That's fine" Kara said

"So what's going on?"

"Two friends can't have dinner?" Kara asked him

"They can, you just seem...off"

"Just wait till we get seated ok?"

"Ok" Jamie said nodding

Jamie and Kara were finally seated when Jamie just looked at her.

"Wait till we order" Kara said

"Well if you won the lottery then I want a cut for having to wait for the news" Jamie said lightheartedly

"Not the lottery Reagan, I wish"

"You wanna split a pitcher?" He asked her

"Um no, I'm just gonna have some water" Kara said looking away

"Are you sick or something Kara? Is something wrong?" Jamie asked growing concerned

"No, no. Just order and then I'll tell you"

"Alright" Jamie said opening his menu.

He could tell Kara wasn't ready to talk so he took his time deciding what he wanted. They both eventually decided and Jamie ordered himself a beer. He folded his hands in front of him and looked up at Kara.

"Ok that look is freaking me out Reagan" Kara said

"I'm listening, what's going on?"

"Oh God I don't even know how to start"

"It's ok , take your time" Jamie said sipping his water

"Well it kinda if yours and Eddie's fault" Kara said

"Come again?" He asked

"The wedding. Matt and I, well things haven't been all wonderful but the night of your wedding we realized how we had been putting each other off for work and the kids. I've been wanting a third but Matt doesn't. Well one thing led to another and well..." Kara said before stopping herself

"Kar come on you know you can talk to me"

She let out a breath before she continued.

"I'm pregnant"

"Kara that's great congratulations" Jamie said getting up to give her a hug

As Jamie hugged her she started to cry.

"Kara what's wrong? is everything ok with the baby?"

"Matt doesn't want it" Kara said wrapping a hand across her stomach

"Kara I'm so sorry. What did he say when you told him"

"I haven't told him yet but I brought it up a few weeks ago when I thought I was pregnant and he was against the idea"

"What do you want?" Jamie asked

"I want this baby but I also want my marriage to work out"

"What's been going on with you two?"

"He took another fellowship and it takes up all of his time and we can go days without seeing each other if we have opposite schedules"

"It's gonna be ok"

"I really hope you're right"

"How far along are you?" Jamie asked

"Almost nine weeks" Kara said

"How come you haven't told Eddie yet?"

"Because I know how upset she was after not being pregnant and you don't really wanna dump your marriage problems on your newlywed friends. I'm gonna tell Matt tonight after he gets home"

"How do you think he will take it?"

"I'm guessing he's gonna push for an abortion"

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't want one"

"You know Ed and I are always here for you"

"Thank you" Kara

"Come on, eat up" Jamie said pushing the plate closer to her since she had ignored it so far

"Thank you for listening" Kara said

"Of course" Jamie said putting his hand on top of hers "Maybe you and Matt will be able to work it out"

"I hope so. He used to be my best friend but I guess we just let everything get away from us lately"

"It'll be ok" Jamie said reassuringly

* * *

Jamie had been home for a few hours and cleaned up the house a little when there was a knock on the door.

He looked at his watch and it was going on for almost eleven.

He padded over to the door, clad in his pajamas and saw Kara and the two kids standing outside

"Kara?" Jamie asked quickly opening the door "are you ok?"

"Shh, they are both asleep" Kara said

Jamie took both kids out of her arms and went and put them in the spare bedroom and surrounded them with pillows.

He went back to the living room and saw Kara sitting on the sofa with her feet tucked under her.

"Kar?" Jamie asked gently

"I told him and it didn't go well"

"I'm sorry Kara" Jamie said sitting next to her on the sofa

"Can we stay for the night?" Kara asked

"Of course. You need anything or want anything?" Jamie asked

"No, No. And you're sure that it's ok for us to stay?" Kara asked

"Of course, Eddie should be home soon. She's better at this stuff than me" Jamie said

"You're doing fine"

"Why don't you go lay down, you need your rest. And let me get you a water" Jamie said

Jamie got her a glass and set it down and walked back over to Kara.

"It'll be ok Kara" Jamie said hugging her

"Thank you" Kara said

"Go get some rest" Jamie said

Jamie was laying on the couch, half asleep when Eddie walked in.

"Hey babe, I'm home" Eddie said kissing him and waking him up

"Hm? Oh hey" Jamie said sitting up

"You didn't have to wait up for me"

"Kara is in our bed" Jamie said and Eddie raised her eye

"Um she and Matt had a fight. The kids are in the guest room"

"She ok?" Eddie asked

"You need to go talk to her. I don't want to share her news for her" Jamie said

"Ok" Eddie said

"Go on up, you want anything?"

"Would you minding making me a sandwich I'm starving" Eddie asked

"Yea I'll bring it up" Jamie said

He checked on the kids to make sure they were still asleep and went back to the kitchen while Eddie went to talk to Kara.

"Hey" Eddie said gently shaking her friend on the shoulder

"Hey Eddie I'm so sorry" Kara said blinking the sleep out of her eyes

"What's going on?"

"Jamie didn't tell you?"

"No I just got in and he said that it was something you would probably want to tell me" Eddie said full of concern

"I asked him to dinner tonight, I needed a friend to talk to"

"What's going on?" Eddie asked

"Eddie, I'm pregnant" Kara said quietly

"Kar that's great!" Eddie said

Kara didn't say anything, she just started to cry

"Sweetie what's wrong?"

"Here you go" Jamie said handing Eddie her plate

"Thank you" Eddie said

"Kar?" Jamie asked

"I, I told Matt tonight and he was less than excited" Kara said

"How come?" Eddie asked

"Jamie stay" Kara said and Jamie just nodded and sat on the bed and leaned against the headboard

"He doesn't want anymore kids" Kara said crying softly "This just sorta happened"

"Aw Kara" Eddie said

"I told Jamie at dinner tonight. I was hoping to tell both of you but I, I just needed to tell someone tonight and I figured he was the least emotional in a situation like this. I'm sorry Eddie"

"What Kara what are you sorry for?"

"I didn't know how you would take it since you've been trying to get pregnant and you want a baby so bad and I just end up pregnant and my husband doesn't want it"

"You can always talk to me" Eddie said, Kara nodded

"How did it go with Matt?" Jamie asked gently

"He was tired and cranky when he came home but I needed to tell him so after the kids were down I asked to talk to him and he begrudgingly complied. So I told him that I was pregnant and he started yelling about how I planned this and how we should've talk about it and we had a huge fight and I...I told him I was having this baby with or without him and I got the kids and some of their things and I came here"

"Oh Kara" Eddie said hugging her tightly

"I just, I don't even know him anymore. He's just so different, it's not the same man that I married"

"You want me to go beat him up?" Eddie asked, giving her a small smile

"No" Kara said giving her a look

"Alright well the offer still stands"

"I appreciate it" Kara said

"Get some sleep ok, want me to stay with you?" Eddie asked

"Yes" Kara said

"I'm gonna go make up the other guest bed" Jamie said

Jamie left and Eddie and Kara were still talking over what to do.

"I just miss talking to him, you know. We were best friends, we've been through everything together but now I feel like I don't even know who he is"

"Maybe you both need to talk calmly"

"But he just gets so anxious when talking about anything"

"You think maybe it's anxiety, like an actual problem he's trying to keep from you?"

"Maybe" Kara said

"I mean Jamie hid how scared he was when I got shot and it ended up with us in a fight"

"I just miss him, you know?"

"Yea I get what you mean" Eddie said "I can keep the kids tomorrow so you can talk" Eddie said

"Maybe, I'll have to see"

"Anything you need. You know Jamie and I are always here for you"

"Thank you" Kara said laying down

* * *

In the morning Jamie was up first and he saw the kids were sitting on the bed looking around.

"Uncle Jamie?" Kenzie asked

"Hey Kenny" Jamie said going in and picking the five year old up

"Unca Jame" Matty said

"Hey buddy" Jamie said also picking up the two and a half year old

"Want some breakfast guys?" Jamie asked

"Yea, yea" Kenzie said "How come we're not home?"

"I guess mommy and Aunt Eddie decided to have a sleep over. Let's be quiet until we get into the kitchen" Jamie said

He got them settled in the kitchen and poured them some cereal and juice and was helping Matty feed himself when Eddie walked into the kitchen.

"Aunt Eddie" Kenzie said happily

"Hi babygirl" Eddie said giving her a hug

"We having a sweepover" Matty said

"I know buddy, you having fun with Uncle Jamie?"

"Yea!" He said happily

"Come on, two more bites then you can go play ok?" Jamie said trying to coax the small toddler

Kenzie was done so Eddie cleaned her up and Jamie finished feeding Matty. Eddie looked at Jamie helping Matty feed himself and her heart was about to burst with how happy he was with kids around.

"Ok go to Aunt Eddie and her to help you please wash your hands"

"Hands, Hands" He giggled as he walked over to Eddie

"What do we say mister?"

"Please!"

Eddie cleaned him up and she put on a movie for the two of them so they would be quiet while Kara slept.

"Why do you look like that?" Jamie asked her

"Cause you and kids together is adorable" Eddie said

"Ed" Jamie said

"I know I know it'll happen" Eddie said

"How's Kara?"

"She had some morning sickness so I sent her back to bed" Eddie said before there was a knock on the door

"I'll get it" Jamie said kissing her

Jamie walked over to the door, it was early so he really didn't know who would be at their door.

He opened the door and stood there.

"Hey Matt" Jamie said neutrally

"You must think I'm an ass but I really need to talk to Kara"

"I think she's still sleeping"

"I messed up"

"I'm not here to judge" Jamie said walking back into the kitchen

"Hey Eddie"

"Matt" Eddie said before going to watch the movie with the kids

"She's pissed at me too?"

"She's hurt for Kara" Jamie said

"I know I messed up. I haven't been myself for awhile and in that time I neglected Kara and what she wanted. This fellowship was more than I could handle and how I handled Kara being pregnant last night was wrong. I know that"

"I don't want in the middle of this, I'm friends with both of you but you should know how hurt she was last night"

"I know she was that's why I went to see someone this morning to get control of my anxiety and reduced the amount I've been working"

"It's a good start man" Jamie said

"Thank you for letting them stay and taking care of them, I know it should've been my job"

"Don't let it happen again" Jamie said with a nod

* * *

Jamie was sitting at his desk filing out paperwork from the scene he and Casey had responded to earlier on the day when there was a knock on his door.

"Yea" he said not looking up

"Hey, Sergent Reagan can I talk to you?"

"Yea as long as you don't call me that. I've known you since you were a rookie Jill" Jamie said

"You really hate titles don't you?" She asked giving him a small smile

"Oh yea, Renzulli still calls me kid and his favorite rookie, so I don't let Sargent go to my head. Have a seat, how are you doing?" Jamie asked her

"I'm ok I guess, I'm off modified"

"I'm really sorry about your dad" Jamie said

"Thank you, I appreciate it. Your dad reached out to me too"

"We know what it's like, I'm sorry you had to experience it" Jamie said sympathetically

"I still wait for him to call me after tour to see how it went" Jill said sadly

"Some days I think I really need to tell my mom or Joe something and it's a hard feeling. It gets easier, it's more of a calm then the guy wrenching out in your stomach when you think of them. If theres anything Ed or I can do please just let us know"

"Just seeing your family, knowing you can still be happy after losing someone to the line of duty gives me hope" Jill said

"Door is always open Carpenter" Jamie said

"I did have one question"

"Of course"

"I was wondering if I could have my dad's shield number. I tried putting it in the system to see if someone else had it but I was denied access. Must have been a good UC cop or something. I'm guessing it's retired"

"What number" Jamie asked, picking up his pen

"46808" Jill said

Jamie felt himself go weak in the knees and was happy that he was sitting down

"Um let me poke around a little and I'll get back to you" Jamie said stammering and trying to cover

"Thanks Jamie, for everything. You and Eddie have both been a huge help since I've gotten back

Jamie grabbed his phone and texted Eddie to make sure she would be home that night.

* * *

I'm sorry I've been so MIA. I was enjoying the end of summer and then school started and I had writers block. I hope you all liked this chapter! Don't forget to review!


	14. Chapter 14

Jamie walked in and was slightly surprised when he didn't see Eddie's car in the driveway and no lights were on when he went in.

As soon as he walked in his phone went off.

"Hey sorry I'm not home yet physical therapy ran late and then I had some Christmas shopping to do. I'll bring dinner, Chinese?"

"Yea that's fine" Jamie said groaning as he answered her

He didn't know why this was bothering him so much but he needed to talk to someone about it. He got himself a water and went and pulled out the old scrapbooks his mom and sister had made over the years.

He got himself on the couch and started to flip through. On the first page was him all wrapped up in a tiny hospital blanket with both his parents smiling down at him, it was followed with one of the whole family. As he went through he came to the one where he was in third grade and borrowed his grandfathers NYPD uniform for a class presentation. There were pictures of Joe helping him fix it all up and then one of him and Pop and then the rest of the family after the presentation was over. Over the years they grew and changed but Jamie was always consistently next to Joe in the pictures. The one he stopped on and stared at was Joe's graduation picture where he was around fifteen. Joe was grinning as wide as could be with the whole family, it was surrounded by other pictures of him and Angie and one of Jamie's favorites. It was just Jamie and Joe and Joe was fixing his new police hat on Jamie's head. They both were smiling and laughing, a complete candid.

"Hey babe, get the plates. Dinner is hot" Eddie said calling out as she walked into the house

Jamie was too lost in the album to even register that she had come home. Eddie put everything on the table and washed up before she walked in to the living room holding two plates.

"Good job getting the plates" She said but Jamie still didn't recognize she was talking to him.

She gently set the plates down and went over to the back of the couch to see what he was looking at.

"Jamie what's wrong?" Eddie asked instantly worried

"Oh, hey when did you get back?" Jamie said running his hand through his hair

"Just now, I called out but you were too engrossed. What is that?" Eddie asked leaning over the back of the couch and kissing his cheek.

"Just one of the photo albums" Jamie said

"You were so cute in highschool all tall and lanky, mop of hair" Eddie said putting her hands on his head

"What's going on?" She asked

"Dinner first I'm sure you're hungry" Jamie said getting up

"I mean yea but something's bugging you" Eddie said walking around the couch to stand in front of him

"I'm ok" Jamie said, taking her hand to get up and then giving her a hug

"Jamie" Eddie said

"So Jill came in to my office today" Jamie said

"How was she doing today?" Eddie asked

"She's ok"

"Good, so what happened that upset you?"

"She asked for her dad's shield number"

"Ok…" Eddie said

"It's retired and she tried looking it up in the system but didn't have the clearances"

"Oh and you don't either?"

"It's number 46...46808" Jamie said

"Joe" Eddie said softly

Jamie didn't know why but he was surprised that Eddie remembered Joe's number but it made his heart swell.

"Yea" Jamie said looking away

Eddie didn't say anything, she just pulled Jamie into the big hug.

"How do you feel about it?" Eddie asked him

"I don't think she had any idea. She knows about Joe but doesn't know his number or anything else behind it" Jamie said as he pulled back from Eddie's hug

"What's your gut telling you?" Eddie asked

"Honestly, I'm not sure"

"Why?" Eddie asked

"On one hand I get Jill wanting to honor her father and a cop but on the other hand it's the number Joe was wearing on his chest when he was killed"

"If it was up to you what would you do?"

"That's well above my pay grade" Jamie stated and he took Eddie's hand

"Ok so take out the fact the whole family votes on it, if Jill knew it was your brother's and she asked you before bring it to your dad what would you say?" Eddie asked him

"You sure you didn't go to law school? Now you're changing facts on me" Jamie said taking a deep breath "I would probably still take it to my dad"

"Nope not an option, try again. Buck stops with you what would you do?"

"Stop pushing Eddie, jeez. I don't know what I would do"

"Okay, I'm sorry" Eddie said

Jamie leaned against the breakfast bar island and dropped his head before looking up.

"I don't know if I could see it everyday, knowing he should be the one wearing it" He said looking up to meet Eddie's eyes

"Jamie" Eddie said softly wrapping her hands around his stomach

"On the other hand I know that's selfish and that Joe would do anything for a fellow cop"

"You're torn between your heart and your head" Eddie said laying her cheek on his back before he turned around to hug her

"You don't have to decide to night though, take a few days"

"I'm gonna take it to my dad and Pop tonight I think"

"That's a smart decision"

"Come with me after dinner?" Jamie asked

"Of course" Eddie nodded

"What would you do?" Jamie asked her

"Now who's changing facts?" Eddie asked

"Now who's deflecting?" Jamie asked

"I don't know. I understand both sides of where your coming from. I don't have siblings, I don't think I'm qualified to answer"

"So someone wants Andrew's number and Melissa asks you what to do?" Jamie asked

"Objection. I plead the fifth"

"Judge just overruled you. Answer the question" Jamie said kissing her

"You have to take your tongue out of my mouth for me to answer" Eddie said while Jamie smirked

"I don't know I think I would weigh the circumstances, who is asking and what my gut reaction is" Eddie said taking the takeout out of the bag

"I got a smart wife don't I?" Jamie asked her

"Of course you do" Eddie said kissing him "Come on we can talk and eat" Eddie said

They were eating in silence when Jamie spoke up again.

"But what if it feels like I'm letting a piece of him go? Like we're forgetting him, losing his memory?"

Eddie took his hand from across the kitchen table and pushed her plate aside

"I don't think that would ever happen. Yes that was his number but it didn't identify him. From what I've heard the thing that identified him was doing the right thing, being a good cop, doing the department well. Not a number. The department has them to keep track of us but we don't go by them, honestly it took me like six months to remember my own and even longer to remember yours because we aren't numbers. The number doesn't make the cop Jamie, who Joe was made him who he was...and that can never be taken away from him" Eddie said squeezing his hand

Jamie just looked at her and opened his mouth but shut it just as quickly.

"When you think of Joe and his memories and him as a cop is his shield number the first thing that you think of?"

"No, the first thing I think of is us messing around with his hat, it's one of my favorite pictures"

"I know which one" Eddie said smiling "It's in your locker, on your desk and framed in the house"

"Well aren't you the little detective" Jamie said "But you're right"

"Excuse me I think I just had a stroke can you say that again"

"You're such a jerk" He said laughing "Come here" he said pushing back from the table

Eddie got up and sat on his lap and laced her hands through his.

"If it's going to upset you that much then just be honest with Jill. She's a sweetheart Jamie, she would understand"

"I know that's where the other part that would feel guilty. Just because I didn't want it doesn't mean I should withhold it"

"It's retired though, so you don't have to do anything"

"Then why does saying no make me feel worse?" Jamie asked

"Because it's not the right decision"

"I don't feel so great about the other one either"

"Well which one would make you feel more guilty?"

"My gut says not giving it to her, but still it's not just my decision, I don't know how Danny's gonna take it" Jamie said

"Please all the wisdom and advice your dad and Pop have, I think you guys will make the right call" Eddie said as she went back to her seat to finish dinner

"But Jamie, why didn't you want it. You never told me" Eddie said

"I don't wanna walk about that. I never told the rest of my family either so don't feel left out" He said "So how was physical therapy?"

"Ok then but admitting that reason might help your decision. Good, it's progressing nicely. He said end February at the latest just to make sure I get all my strength back"

"Good" Jamie said finishing his dinner

Once they cleaned up Jamie got his jacket out of the closet and tossed Eddie hers.

"They good with us coming over?" Eddie asked

"I didn't call. It's an open door policy house" Jamie said

"Yea are we gonna have that too?"

"We already do, that's how Danny caught us" Jamie said

"Oh God don't remind me" Eddie said, turning red

"I didn't know if you were gonna kill me or him or both"

"Let's just say his timing couldn't have been worse. A few minutes later and it would've been fine"

"Yea he learned his lesson to not use the key" Jamie said laughing

"Thank God it wasn't your dad"

"Yea but he at least wouldn't have held it over our heads like Danny did"

"Ugh" Eddie said rolling her eyes

"Come on shorty" Jamie said

"I'll drive" Eddie said picking up her keys

"Of course you will"

Once they made the short drive over they walked into the house and Jamie called out.

"Dad? Pop? Ed and I are here" Jamie yelled

"In the kitchen" Henry yelled

"Hey son, Eddie. What brings you two over here this late?" Frank asked hugging Eddie

"You two eat dinner? I could heat something up"

"We did, thank you though"

"I uh, just wanted to talk to you"

"Is everything alright?"

"Yea, why don't we sit" Jamie said getting nervous

"Scotch?" Henry asked

"Sure" Jamie said

"Eddie?"

"Alright I'll have a small glass, I drove us over"

Henry no sooner poured the glasses and Jamie downed his.

"Jameson, slow down. it's the good bottle I opened. What is with you?"

"Jamie is everything alright. Are you two financially okay? Is one of you sick? Son you're worrying us a little"

"No, no nothing like that" Eddie said jumping in and sipping her scotch

"You just miss me after I was in the precinct today?"

"Not exactly"

"Jamie come on, you know you can tell us anything"

"You know Officer Carpenter?" Jamie asked

"Yea"

"Well your speech was nice. You know her dad was Boston PD, killed a few weeks ago in the line of duty"

"I thought the note of encouragement would be good. I didn't upset her did I?" Frank asked

"No, no nothing like that"

"Okay so what is it?" Henry asked

"She wants to ask a favor, but she came to me first. I don't think as a Reagan I think more of as her boss and having gone through what we went through" Jamie said stalling

"A favor that needs vetting?"

"No, at least not that she knows" Jamie said

"She wants her late dad's shield number but it's retired in the NYPD"

"That's not impossible" Frank said

"It's 4...46808" Jamie said as he felt Eddie's hand slide into his

"I see" Frank said solemnly

"Ah" Henry said, realizing Jamie's trepidation

"What do you wanna do?" Jamie asked swallowing hard

"I don't know"

"I can handle it, hold it off for a while"

"Thank you" Frank said

"It needs to be a family decision. We all have handled Joe's death differently" Henry said

"I say we sleep on it" Henry said

"Yea" Jamie said

"Son?"

"I don't know I've been back and forth all day with it" Jamie said getting up

"I think that your opinion might carry some extra weight"

"Why's that?" Jamie asked turning back towards the table

"You didn't want it, you work with Officer Carpenter. You two were the closest" Frank said

"What was your gut reaction?" Frank asked Jamie

"Not to release it"

"Mine too"

"Mine too" Frank said "Eddie?"

"I just came for the ride, I don't think my vote should count. This is too personal for me not knowing him"

"You're apart of this family Eddie of course your opinion counts" Frank said

"I don't know"

"Eddie we want to hear it" Henry said

"I didn't have a gut reaction. My gut reaction was how would it affect Jamie, would he get all moody and closed off or would he want to talk about it. But the gut reaction I did have felt like I got kicked in the gut for Jamie having to wrestle with this idea all day"

"She and I did talk about it some earlier. She gave me some really solid advice but I don't want influence anyone one way or another"

"And you thought law school was a waste of your time. That's the most run-around answer I've ever heard" Henry said

"I mean it's not just my opinion that counts. I have a very opinionated brother and sister"

"The kids should get a vote too" Frank said

"I guess we will tell everyone at dinner" Henry said

"Jamie you ok?" Frank asked his youngest knowing discussions about Joe could throw him off kilter

"Yea I got Eddie" Jamie said sitting back down next to her

"What do you think dad?"

"My first reaction was no. But mulling it over for a little, her dad is a hero just like Joe's a hero. Are we doing more of a disservice to both of them by not honoring them? My gut reaction as Joe's father, is that he would be for sharing it will Officer Carpenter"

"He would do anything for a fellow cop" Henry said

"I think we put it to a vote at dinner on Sunday. Can you sit on it till then?" Frank asked

"Yea I won't tell Danny or Erin" Jamie said

"Thank you"

"We better get going. This one goes back on the street tomorrow" Jamie said smiling again

"Congratulations Janko" Frank said smiling again

"Just remember to duck" Henry said

"Thanks" Eddie said laughing

"Here wait, I wanted to give this to you before you went back on the street" Henry said going upstairs

"Do you know what this is about?" Eddie asked Jamie

"No idea? Dad?"

"Don't look at me" Frank said

"If it's bubble wrap I'm gonna pop it all before it even makes it to the street" Eddie said trying to lighten the mood

"Here we go" Henry said walking back into the kitchen and handing Eddie a small black velvet pouch

"Pop?" Eddie asked

"Well go on, open it" Henry said happily

Eddie laid the pouch on the table and opened the flap. Inside was a silver St. Michael medal with Reagan inscribed on the back.

"My Betty gave that to me when I graduated the academy to keep in one of the pockets. I want you to have it. I believe that it kept me safe all those years, no use in keeping it from the action"

"Henry I couldn't" Eddie said overwhelmed

"Yes you can, I'm giving it to you and I won't take no for an answer"

"I don't... I don't know what to say. It's beautiful" Eddie said

"You're a Reagan now Eddie whether you like it or not" Frank said

"You remind me a lot of my Betty, I know she would be honored for you to have it and keep you safe"

"Pop, thank you so much...I hope I make both of you proud" Eddie said wiping her eyes and hugging Henry

"It's perfect Pop" Jamie said putting his arm around Eddie as she sat back down "I haven't seen it since I was a kid" Jamie said picking it up

"Maybe it's time we all stop remembering the ones we lost with sadness but we remember all the times we had with them" Henry said

"Well said" Frank added

"Alright you two go home and get some sleep, be safe out there"

"We will dad"

"Thank you Pop I love it, it's perfect" Eddie said hugging him again

"I want to hear all about your first day back" Henry said

"I will call or stop by I promise"

"See you guys Sunday" Jamie said as he got their jackets

"Jamie" Frank said walking over to his youngest

"Talk to me or Eddie or Pop or someone if you're having a hard time with this"

"I will dad. Goodnight" Jamie said giving his dad a hug

"Goodnight Frank" Eddie said hugging him

"Goodnight Eddie"

* * *

Jamie and Eddie had gotten home and Jamie went to shower since Eddie said she had to hide his presents she bought and threatened him if he looked. He grabbed the photo albums he had been looking at earlier and took them up to bed. Eddie finished up and showered and turned off the overhead light and turned on her bedside lamp since Jamie's was already on.

"Hey" She said crawling under the covers "You ok?"

"Yea I am. I think it just being right before Christmas is making it harder. I always miss him this time of year" Jamie said sadly

"I know you do" Eddie said rolling onto her right side "I wanna look too"

"You know the deal"

"No laughing" Eddie said rolling her eyes "For the record it was one picture"

"Yea a bad one"

"You had on your dad's patrol hat and you put on your own little belt to look just like a little baby cop"

"Except I had no clothes on and my junk was front and center" He said rolling his eyes

"You were adorable"

"Yea I could've tried out for chip and dale the toddlers edition"

"Now that's just weird" Eddie said laughing

"I can't believe you like that picture so much"

"You're what two? It's cute because apparently you were an uptight baby according to your family"

"Danny says I was born stressed out"

"That's why I think it's so funny and because you get so red when ever I bring it up" Eddie said scratching his stomach

"Uh alright" Jamie said closing the book

"What all little boys are obsessed with themselves and that really doesn't change much"

"No?" Jamie asked rolling her back over and kissing her

"Hey we're not done talking" Eddie said pushing him off

"I thought we were" Jamie said kissing her again

"Nope" Eddie said getting out from underneath him

"Well this didn't have the ending I imagined" Jamie said laughing

"No seriously Jamie. I am really proud of you. You wanted to talk about how you were feeling and you talked about Joe not just to me but also your Dad and grandfather. That's a big deal for you. You're usually not great at talking about him"

"I've evolved"

"You lost the training wheels and pull-ups" Eddie said laughing

"Thanks for listening" Jamie said seriously "and not rushing me through it"

"Jamie I'll always be here for you to talk to" Eddie said running her hands over his belly "I know it wasn't easy for you"

"And I didn't cry" Jamie said

"You're just all grown up now" Eddie said

"So did you like Pop's present?"

"I loved it. He didn't have to do that"

"I think he likes you better than the rest of us"

"I mean who wouldn't?" Eddie asked

"Funny" Jamie said kissing the top of her head

Eddie was laying there with her hand still lightly playing with Jamie's shirt on his belly when Jamie poked her side

"Am I dog now? If you're gonna fall asleep at least turn off your bedside lamp first" Jamie said laughing

"Please I know you love when I do this but you would never admit it" Eddie said kissing him again

"Goodnight Janko" Jamie said kissing her back

* * *

My take on season 6, episode 10. I hope you all enjoyed it. Don't forget to review!


	15. Chapter 15

Hi everyone. I am really sorry for the delay. I got injured last week and ended up in the hospital and I found out I have to have surgery. So I have been trying to juggle school with everything. Hopefully I will be able to update shortly. Don't forget to review!

* * *

"Janko, I'm glad to have you back" McKenna said walking up to her in the roll call room

"Thanks" Eddie said looking down

"Hey you can do this, you know" He said putting a hand on her shoulder

"I know. It's just been a while" Eddie said

"If you don't think you're ready don't force it"

"What you don't want me back out there? You don't think I'm ready?" Eddie asked walking out of the roll call room

"Janko wait up" He said jogging after her

"What?" Eddie said spinning around

"Eddie, I know how hard this must be for you. I just meant I don't want you to feel forced to go back on patrol if you're not ready. I can't wait to ride with you again. I just want to make sure you're ready" He said

"Come on what's going on?" He pushed

"Nothing, I'm fine"

"Janko we've been riding together for a while I know you're not fine. Are you scared that something like that could happen again?"

"What if I hesitate or freeze and it gets either us or another cop hurt or killed. That'd be on me" Eddie said looking up to meet his eyes

"Dunleevy isn't on you Eddie. You did everything you could. I trust you completely out there. It's just a question of do you trust yourself?"

"No" Eddie said quietly

"Why not?" He asked pulling her into the break room "Come on, talk"

"I'm just not sure I should be back out" Eddie said sadly

"You're a good cop Eddie, don't think otherwise. I'm ready whenever you are"

"Shit we're missing rollcall"

"You can even drive today. Would that make you feel better?"

"Like I wasn't going to anyway"

"There's the Eddie I know" He said smiling "I know you can do this" He said putting a hand on her shoulder

They snuck into the back of roll call but of course Jamie was in charge today and noticed they were late.

"Officers Janko and McKenna thank you so much for joining us today. Looks like you guys want fleet duty for a few days"

"Sorry Sir" McKenna said

"Won't happen again" Eddie said

Jamie finished up roll call when he signaled to McKenna and Eddie.

"You two have a good reason for being late?"

"I had some cold feet about being back. We were talking it through"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jamie said softening

"I didn't know it until I was waiting for roll call and saw McKenna walk it. It got real, everything that has happened"

"You still should've talked to me" Jamie said

"it was a partner thing Jamie, if I had hinted that I was unsure you would've made sure I was kept in house for all of enternity"

"you know that's not true" Jamie said

Eddie just gave him a look that she knew he was lying.

"I needed to talk to my partner about this, Wen agreed. Separation of church and state. In here you out rank me and we're not partners anymore Jamie. I needed to talk to my partner about this"

"Do you want me to go?" McKenna asked looking for a way to get away from this conversation

"No" Jamie and Eddie both answered

"Ed" Jamie said before trailing off

"Jamie don't, I don't want a lecture on how I should've talked to you" Eddie said

"Be careful out there, I love you" Jamie said kissing her cheeck as he walked past her and McKenna

"Well that was awkward. I'm sorry" Eddie said

"He's your husband and former partner. I get why he was surprised that you didn't talk to him. Yea we needed to talk about it and if you guys were still just partners than you would've talked about it with him. But now it's different, you needed to figure out if you wanted to go out or not, no one can pick for you. So Janko, it's up to you, what do you want to do?"

"I'm a freaking cop and I'm scared to go back on the street" Eddie said huffing "If I was anyone else I'd think I'm being ridiculous"

"Well no one thinks you're being ridiculous" McKenna said

"Mike seriously"

"Eddie, I've never been shot before I don't know how you feel about going back out there. I just know that I trust you and I miss riding with you"

"I gotta do it sometime" Eddie said rolling her eyes

"You want tough love? I thought the softer side my wife tells me I need when talking to our thirteen year old daughter would be better. But here's some tough love. Put your damn vest on, grow a pair and go out there and be the great cop I know you are. Now move it" McKenna said

Eddie started to laugh

"Lauren must get away with a lot" Eddie said smirking

"Wanna roll?" He asked before Eddie changed her mind

She nodded and he tossed her the keys

"Yea, she usually wins me over with some tears and yelling but dad you don't understand. Gangbangers are easier to deal with than her sometimes. But I still got my little one, she smiles at me all the time" He said laughing

"I can't wait" Eddie said

"You and Reagan hoping for kids soon?" He asked as they got into their RMP

"Yea, we both want four. I thought I might have been pregnant while I was out but I wasn't"

"Well my wife and I are up to four. It took us about a year for Lauren. She was so stressed in thinking she needed to pop one out as soon as possible"

"I can't believe you've been married fifteen years" Eddie said

"Neither can I" McKenna said laughing

* * *

"You wanna go out for a drink tonight? I told Pop I'd take him to lunch tomorrow" Eddie said walking into Jamie's office when they got back from the street.

"Jill, Mike, Sanchez are all going" Eddie added

"Yea. How was tour?" Jamie asked shuffling papers around

"It felt good to be back once I got over the initial nerves"

"Good" Jamie said

"Seriously Reagan" Eddie said closing his door

"What?" Jamie asked looking up

"You're gonna be all weird because I didn't come running to you when I was worried about tour?"

"No"

"Jamie come on" Eddie said a little more forcefully

"I guess I just figured you would've talked to me" Jamie said

"Someone's jealous" Eddie said

"No"

"Jamie, it wasn't something you could fix for me. I didn't want you meddling and deciding for me. I needed to know that I could do this. I didn't talk to Kara either"

"But she's not your husband"

"You're right, she's my wife" Eddie deadpanned

It did the job and earned her a smile from Jamie.

"We're very happy and she's expecting"

"Alright Janko" Jamie said

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it, but you weren't the one I needed to talk to"

"I get it, I guess I was a little jealous. It's still us trying to figure out our personal and professional lives" Jamie said "I did talk to you about Joe's number though"

"Yea because it's not Casey's business. Me going back on the street after being off for a while is very much my partners business" Eddie said

"I'm sorry" Jamie said

"Thank you" Eddie said giving him a smile

"It's only cause I love you, we good?"

"Yea after you buy me a beer" Eddie said

"Seriously, I thought marrying you meant I didn't have to wine and dine you" Jamie said laughing

"You always have to feed me, it was part of our vows" Eddie said

"I regret that" Jamie said seriously and then giving her a smirk

"No you don't now go take your jealous ass to the locker room and get changed" Eddie said as she headed off to the women's.

"Jamie was hanging his belt up when McKenna walked over to him"

"Hey Reagan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get in between you and Janko"

"No Mike you didn't. We're still figuring out our work life and our personal life. I was out of line. It was more important to talk to you about it, you're with her out on the street. Not me. You're her partner. She had every right to want to just talk it over with you"

"Thanks Reagan. I'm sure making the change wasn't easy for you guys"

"Nah, we're getting used to it"

"It's hard the first year. You know, I know my wife and I struggled with things too"

"Thanks for looking out for her. I know she doesn't need it but I worry"

"She's a great partner but I don't have to tell you that" He said

"So where are we going for drinks tonight?" Jamie asked

"McDougal's"

"Perfect, I could go for their pulled pork" Jamie said

As Jamie turned around to finish changing he took his shirt off and his duty pants and McKenna went back to his locker to change as Eddie walked in.

"Aww you two kiss and make up?" Eddie asked walking in

"You know I can write you up for this now"

"But you never would" Eddie said sweetly

"Uh-huh" Jamie said pulling his pants on

"I've seen all of you now Reagan, you don't have to mock embarrassment and be all flustered and try and flex"

"Ouch" Jamie said laughing "Dude she's all yours" He said to McKenna

"I gained some baby weight with my wife during her last pregnancy although she'd deny it so I guess we should be happy she's only checking you out" He said laughing

"Come on you two, I'm hungry" Eddie said hurrying them along

"All set" McKenna said

"I'm good" Jamie said walking over to her and McKenna

"My guys" Eddie said putting her arms around both of them as they walked out

* * *

"Whoa mom and dad are here!" Casey said as they walked into the bar

"Zip it Casey" Jamie said laughing

"I think first round is on the newest transfer to the 12th. Wait Dugan I think that would be you" Eddie said looking around

Everyone agreed and Casey bought the first round.

"Wanna grab some dinner?" Jamie asked Eddie after they had a few.

"Sure" Eddie said walking to the restaurant portion of the bar

"Pulled pork I'm guessing?" Eddie asked him as they sat down

"You know me so well" Jamie said laughing

Once they finished eating they walked back over to the bar to their friends and played a few rounds of beer pong where Eddie and Jamie finally beat Casey and McKenna after three tried.

"We let you guys win" McKenna said

"You did not. We were amazing" Eddie said

"Well yea you were, Jamie not so much"

"I sunk two thank you very much" Jamie said rolling his eyes

"Will you guys ever stop complaining about my pong skills?" Jamie asked

"No" The other three responded

* * *

It was the Sunday before Christmas and the last Sunday of Advent but Jamie didn't find any peace in the service.

Jamie had been skittish all morning knowing he they were going to talk about Joe's shield number at dinner.

"Kid you put ants in your pants this morning?" Danny asked him as they were walking out of church

"What I'm fine" Jamie answered quickly

"We uh, we switched coffee brands. It's a little strong apparently" Eddie said hoping Danny would buy it

"Good cops make terrible liars Janko" Danny said

"Seriously, you're acting like it's Christmas morning when you were six" Erin said

"I'm fine" Jamie said

"Leave your brother alone, you badgering him will not make him talk" Frank said once they were all out of church

"We uh, we're gonna head home before church. I still have some things to do to get ready for Christmas" Eddie said knowing she needed to get him away from the family

"We'll see you at dinner" Henry said

Once they made it back in the car, with Eddie driving Jamie finally took a breath.

"Ok now I'm pretty sure your family is gonna think your withdrawing from heroin or something. Can you relax?" Eddie said

"Was I think nervous?"

"You made the nativity scene seen anxious" Eddie said

"I just don't know how to talk to them about this"

"You told you're dad and Pop fine"

"Yea but they aren't Danny. You know Joe isn't always a great topic between us" Jamie said

"I think you're freaking out about nothing" Eddie said

"You don't know how they are going to react" Jamie said

"Exactly, relax" Eddie said as they pulled up to their house

"I'm gonna wrap some presents, why don't you try and lay down for a while" Eddie said

"Ok" Jamie said as they got out of the car

Jamie went up to lay in bed and Eddie began wrapping presents in the living room. After Jamie tossed and turned he finally went back down stairs.

"Now you're trying to snoop" Eddie said

"Couldn't sleep" Jamie said

"Jamie everything will be ok. I'll go beat up Danny if he is mean to you ok?" Eddie said

"I don't know why this is making me so nervous" Eddie said

"Because you have to willingly talk about your brother and you don't know how it's gonna go" Eddie said

Jamie just looked at her.

"I told you I was smart and beautiful" Eddie said

"I do know one thing that would relax me" He said kissing her

"Not before family dinner. That would freak me out" Eddie said pulling back

"They would never know" Jamie said teasingly kissing her neck

"I would, now keep it in your pants" Eddie said "And we don't have time"

"You don't take that long to get off babe" Jamie said smirking

"Stop that" Eddie said blushing and laughing

"Alright since apparently old blue laws apply to sex what can I wrap?" Jamie asked

"You can wrap?" Eddie asked

"Yes sweetheart" Jamie said sarcastically

"Here wrap Haylie and Spencer's and then we have to go. Your dad wants us there early" Eddie said

* * *

Eddie and Jamie walked into the house and hung up their coats.

"Dad, Pop?" Jamie asked

"In the sun room" Henry called out

"So have you calmed down since church?" Frank asked

"Yea, Eddie made me wrap presents with her" Jamie said

"Not totally true. I told you to take a nap" Eddie said

"You were about to awol in church son" Frank said

"I'm just nervous about this" Jamie said

"Clearly" Henry said

"We'll say grace and then just tell them" Frank said

"You told us just fine" Henry added

"Neither of you are Danny" Jamie said

"He's worried it'll cause problems between them" Eddie said

"Eddie" Jamie bit

"Like we didn't know" Henry said

"Hey we're here" Erin said walking in

Danny and Linda and the boys arrived shortly there after.

As they were getting everything on the table Jamie had disappeared.

"Has anyone seen my husband?" Eddie asked

"What is with him today?" Danny asked

"You two announcing you're pregnant or something?"

"Danny" Erin and Linda both yelled at him

"No, not pregnant" Eddie said "I'm gonna go find him" Eddie said

She checked the sun room and the bathroom and went upstairs but his room was empty. She knocked on the door to the bathroom, figuring she found him.

"Babe?" She asked gently

"Yea"

"You ok?" Eddie said placing her hand on the door

"Yea"

"You hiding or actually going?" Eddie asked

"Going" Jamie said

"Alright well I'm right here" Eddie said

A few minutes later Jamie opened the door.

"Nervous stomach?" Eddie asked

"Yea" Jamie groaned

"Babe it'll be ok. Danny's convinced we're pregnant"

"It's just the week before Christmas. He should be here" Jamie said

"Hey look at me" Eddie said taking his head in her hands.

"It's ok to miss him. I miss someone I've never even met. Yes this is bad timing but Jamie it would never be a good time"

"But I don't want to upset anyone else the week before Christmas"

"I know you don't, but you can't worry yourself to the point it sends you to the bathroom. I know you have a sensitive stomach when it comes to your nerves" Eddie said putting her hand on his belly

"I love you Jamie, I got your back ok. Just come down" Eddie said

"Dinners on the table" Erin said walking up the stairs

"Guys is everything ok?" Erin asked gently

"Yea sis, why wouldn't it be?" Jamie asked

"Jamie what ever is wrong you know you can tell us, we'll support you no matter what. You're not sick are you?"

"No Er, we'll be right down ok?"

"Ok" Erin said going back down

"Jamie you can do this"

"I don't know why my dad or Pop can't"

"Come on you would still be nervous" Eddie said

"Maybe" Jamie said

"Your stomach feel ok to try and eat?"

"Yea I think so" Jamie said

Jamie and Eddie went and took their seats at the table. Jamie made eye contact with Henry who gave him a slight nod.

"Alright Nicky, your turn" Franks said

Nicky said grace and once she was finished Frank held off on asking for the potatoes.

"Um there's something that we all need to discuss" Jamie said

Before he could say anything else questions were being fired at him. All he made out were the words moving, pregnant, cancer, dying and in trouble.

"Stop, stop" Eddie said as everyone talked over her

"Knock it off, now" She said more forcefully

Everyone went silent and Frank smiled at her.

"Thank you" Eddie said

"I'm fine, Ed's fine. She's not pregnant and no one is in trouble. It's about an officer in my precinct. She came to me for a favor"

"She?" Danny asked

"Seriously?" Jamie asked him

"Danny let him finish" Henry said

"Officer Jill carpenter, her father was Boston PD. He was killed in the line of duty"

"Yea we took up some money for her and donated some vacation so she could stay with her family" Danny said

"She asked me to look into a badge number as her Sargent, she has no idea who 46808 is" Jamie said

"Ah" "Oh" "Wh" Was all anyone got out

"She wants Joe's shield number?" Erin finally said after what seemed like forever

"He had the same shield number as Joe, she wants to wear it to honor her father" Frank said

"You knew?" Danny asked

"I told Eddie and then we told Dad and Pop a few days ago" Jamie said

"Why didn't you tell us sooner, Jamie?" Danny asked getting mad

"Because I knew it would start an argument"

"Only because you hid it from us" Danny said

"Alright" Linda said stopping him

"Seriously Danny, you wanted me to barge into your house in the middle of the week and just blurt it out? I went to dad and Pop first" Jamie said getting annoyed

Eddie put her had on his leg and he settled a little.

"You told Eddie"

"She's my wife Danny"

"She didn't even know him" Danny said

"For once can you two not fight over Joe?" Erin asked "You see how hard this is for all of us, and it's just us. Imagine how Jamie felt being asked in work by another officer"

"We should've been the first ones he told" Danny said

"I can go, I don't need to be in this" Eddie offered

"No" Jamie said

"Eddie we told you the other night, you're family of course you are wanted here for this" Henry said

"She wasn't here for it, she didn't go through it with us" Danny said

"Ok and Jack and Sydney did go through it with us but you don't exactly see them here now do you? Seriously Danny, Eddie's my wife and she might not have been with us for it but certainly has help me through a lot of it" Jamie said trying to get up

"Yea go sulk like the baby of the family" Danny said

"Danny" Frank said giving him a warning

"Why do you get so mad when stuff about Joe comes up. Are you mad that he and I were closer? Are you jealous? I don't get it Danny, neither of us could do anything right in your eyes" Jamie said

"Should we go?" Nicky asked

"No, we're a family and this is a family decision" Henry said

"Can we talk about this like the calm, rational adults we should be?" Frank asked

"First of all this shouldn't even be a conversation. You always say how Joe was your best friend yet you didn't want to honor him with his own shield number" Danny said

"You don't know what you're talking about Danny" Jamie said quietly

"What if you were so obsessed with him then why didn't you want his shield number?"

"Forget it, can I have the potatoes or something?" Jamie said chugging his wine

"Ok babe, slow down. That's not gonna help your stomach" Eddie said quietly

"What your tummy still gets upset?" Danny asked

"Alright so moving on" Frank said

"Yea Danny it does, just like Joe's did but you wouldn't care even if you remembered" Jamie yelled

"I do care" Danny yelled

"I guess we'll let them keep going" Henry said

"You never really said why you didn't want his" Erin said calmly

"No I didn't" Jamie said

"Do you ever plan on really saying?" Danny asked him

"Not to you" Jamie said "You wouldn't understand" Jamie said

"Jamie" Erin said softly

"Why is it such a secret?" Danny asked

"Danny don't make him if he doesn't want to tell you"

"BECUASE DANNY, I STILL HELD OUT A SMALL HOPE THAT HE WASNT DEAD, THAT HE WAS UNDERCOVER OR BEING HELD HOSTAGE AND HE WOULD WALK IN THE DAMN FRONT DOOR AND DEMAND GRANDMA'S SHEPARD PIE. TAKING HIS SHILED MADE IT REAL" Jamie yelled

"Jamie" Eddie said gently as Jamie stood up and walked away

"Jam" Danny said

"Danny stop it" Erin said

Frank and Henry knew it wouldn't be an easy conversation but they both thought that Jamie and Danny would be ok discussing it.

"I'll go" Eddie said getting up

She followed him out of the room and heard the kitchen door close. She grabbed the blanket from the sun room and went outside

"Jamie" Eddie called after him

"Just go back in ok?" Jamie said, almost pleading with her

"No, I'm not gonna let you freeze to death while you sulk" Eddie said wrapping them both in the blanket

She wrapped him in a hug and put his head on her shoulder.

"I got you" Eddie said running her fingers through his hair

"Why does he always have to do that?" Jamie asked

"I don't know" Eddie said

"And he wonders why I never said it before" Jamie said

"I never knew why either" Eddie said

"Because it makes me sound crazy" Jamie said

"No, not at all. You were young. Of course you would want your best friend back"

"I just miss him so much sometimes" Jamie said

"I know you do. You try to play it off but it only hurts you more" Eddie said as she saw a tear run down his face.

"Oh Jamie" Eddie said hugging him tighter

"He held on tight to Eddie, but he wouldn't cry, not in front of Danny"

Eddie stood there with him for a little longer before she shivered

"You're cold, go back in"

"Not without you"

"I'm sorry about what Danny said"

"It's ok, I wasn't there. I don't know what you guys went through"

"No it's not ok. He just dismissed you"

"Honestly Jamie, it's ok" Eddie said as they walked back up to the house where they saw Frank walking out towards them.

"I was coming to tell you guys you were gonna freeze if you stayed out here much longer"

"I think we're gonna go" Jamie said

"I'm still hungry" Eddie said looking at Jamie "You can't just leave it like this" Eddie said

"You should listen to your wife" Frank said "We need to talk this over, as a family" Frank said

"Yea well tell that to Danny"

"Don't worry he's getting an earful" Frank said

"Come on, let's thaw you two out" Frank said as they walked back in

They went back to the table but everyone just ate in silence. Everyone was gettin ready to leave when Frank pulled Eddie aside.

Before Frank could say anything, Eddie gave him a smile "Don't worry, I got Jamie. I know he's been missing Joe with us getting married and then him thinking he lost me. He talked rationally to me but Danny pushed him too far" Eddie said

"Why don't you all come over for dinner tomorrow and we'll try this again" Eddie said

"I don't know what we would do without you" frank said giving her a hug goodbye

Jamie was silent the whole way home. He went and sat on the couch without even speaking to Eddie.

She changed out of her skirt and sweater and into her pjs and went and sat next to him.

"Babe" she said gently

"What Eddie" Jamie said more annoyed that he wanted to

"you told me you were doing ok, but clearly you're not" Eddie said.

"I'm fine" Jamie said

"You're not and that's ok" Eddie said

"It's been years Eddie and then I just get into this funk and I don't know. I'm fine" Jamie said

"Ok first stop saying your fine"

"Danny was just being Danny. Like I said, it's been years"

"There's no statute of limitations on missing someone Jamie" Eddie said gently

"I don't know why I get like this" Jamie said

"Because he was your best friend. Because you always thought that when you got married he'd be right by your side and when you were talking about having kids he was going to be Uncle Joey and be there to calm you down when you freaked out about everything. Because you thought that he would be there when you bought your first house. Because you never thought that he wouldn't be here for all of this and you never thought there was any possibility of your wife getting shot" Eddie said moving closer to him

Jamie just looked down at his hands as he played with his wedding band.

"It's like Christmas number eight without him but..." Jamie said as his voice grew raspy

"But you still miss him"

"With my mom I guess it was easier, she had cancer. With Joe, there was no warning"

"Come here" Eddie said hugging him and running her fingers through his hair. It comforted her just as much as it comforted him.

"It's ok Jamie" Eddie said as she felt him fighting off the tears

"It's not fair" Jamie said quietly into her shoulder

"I know" Eddie said kissing his head

"And part of me gets so mad at Danny. He takes it for granted that he had Joe in his wedding and the boys had an Uncle Joey and that Joe was there when he bought Linda's engagement ring. He had Joe for all of that and I hate that I get so mad about it but he just doesn't get it" Jamie said

"Oh Jamie" Eddie said sadly

"Danny just doesn't get it, he never has because he hasn't had to do these things without Joe"

"Have you ever told him that before?" Eddie asked

"No because he wouldn't get it" Jamie said

"Jamie you and Danny have come a long way, even from when I first met you. Don't throw it away because you don't think Danny will understand. Talk to him. One on one and tell him that this is how you feel" Eddie said "And if he still doesn't understand I'll go kick his ass for you"

"I would tell Danny half the stuff I'd tell Joe. Even now"

"Well Danny isn't Joe, you can't compare everything Danny does or doesn't do to what you think Joe would say or do. It's not fair to either of you and it only sets Danny up to fail in your eyes. You guys can't keep doing this every time something with Joe comes up" Eddie said

"I mean Danny and I go months with being totally fine and then something happens and we just blow up at each other"

"You're more alike than you both realize. You're both stubborn and pig-headed and always want to feel right. Danny tries to protect you and as much as he tries you fight him on it because you don't want to be seen as the baby" Eddie said

Jamie just looked at her.

"I've known you for a while know Reagan, I've been listening to this same story for years with you and Danny. Maybe it's time to put it to bed" Eddie suggested

"I don't think that would ever happen because Danny will never change"

"See you won't even try to talk to him. I don't think he knows you're jealous of him for getting more time with Joe"

"I'm not jealous Eddie" Jamie said quick with anger

"Are you sure?" Eddie asked taking his hand in hers.

"Yea this time of year just brings it all back"

"Combined with everything else that has changed in the last few months"

"I didn't think it was jealously. I didn't know what it was"

"Walks like a duck"

"It's not an envious jealous, I'm just sad Joe wasn't here for everything"

"I know babe" Eddie said kissing him

"Jamie it's ok to cry" Eddie said cuddling next to him "It might make you feel better. Want me to put on Remember the Titans?"

"Thant only works for you. You're the one that cries not me"

"I'm giving you permission"

"Ed" Jamie pleaded

"Even those that are emotionally constipated have to go at some point" Eddie said

Jamie just glared at her and cuddled next to her

"I just want to make sure you're ok" Eddie said

"I will be. Come on let's go up to bed" Jamie said getting up from the couch

"I love you, Reagan" Eddie said standing on the couch and hugging him

Before Eddie know what was happening he had grabbed her legs behind her knees and was giving her a piggy back ride up the stairs.

"I love you too" Jamie said plopping her on the bed

Jamie discarded his jeans and sweater and tigged a t-shirt over his head and slipped on some plaid on bottoms

"You awake?" Jamie asked turning on his bedside lamp

"Yea" Eddie said rolling over to face him

"Um. I've been feeling this way for a few weeks now. It always happens this time of year and you getting shot. God Eddie I tried to put a brave face on but..." Jamie said before being overcome with emotion

"Take your time" Eddie said sympathetically wrapping an arm around Jamie

"The thought of... of losing you the same way I lost Joe. I couldn't, I wouldn't make it again. The empty feeling of losing him has faded over the years but when I thought ... thought I could've lost you..." Jamie said before he finally started to cry and release the emotions that he had been burning for the last few weeks

Eddie didn't say anything, there wasn't anything she could say. He needed to get this off his chest. She leaned against the headboard next to him and she put his head on her shoulder and just held him like he had always done for her.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere" She said running her fingers through his hair

"I don't think I realized that I was mad at Danny for having Joe at his wedding and being around for his first holidays as being married. I never told anyone, not even Sudney why I didn't take his shield number. There's more to it. But I held out hope for so long that I'd wake up and he's just walk into family dinner, sit next to me and steal and hide my fork like he used to do. I know it sounds crazy but I denied it for so long. And you getting shot, it just made it all real and Jill asking for 46808, it meant he's never coming back and of course I know all this ... I'm just I don't know" Jamie said trailing off

"Hey look at me" Eddie said cupping his cheek

"You were so focused on taking care of me that you never processed me getting shot fully. I should've known, babe. The shield number alone would have set you off, but combined with everything of course your upset. I wish I could bring him back but I think the only way to move past some of it is talking to Danny. I'll stay with you, I'll cuff you two together if I have to. But you're made at him for making it and for Joe being dead. That anger's misplaces Jamie. You want to be mad at your dad but you know he still holds his own guilt over it and you won't be mad at your dead brother so you're mad at Danny" Eddie said hoping this didn't make him totally shut down

"I Yea, I guess. I guess I have taken it out on Danny at times. And I know he feels guilty as the oldest. I'm just missing him a lot lately but I didn't think I could express it because it's been so long"

"Jamie no, of course you're allowed to feel what ever it is you're feeling. I was really proud of you about talking to me about his number, I never dreamed it went deeper than that. Do you think maybe there's so residual trauma, while you weren't there when it happened. First Joe, then Vinny and then I got shot?"

"I never feel that way at work, but remember at Andrew's funeral how you had a panic attack. I had them in a law school a lot and it seems like that again" Jamie said

"Then you either talk to me or someone else you trust to help you through it. Just promise me you won't keep suffering alone" Eddie said

"I love you so much, Eddie" Jamie said hugggig her tightly

"I love you too" Eddie said burying her face in his shoulder "Promise me you'll stop carrying the weight of the world around" She said looking him in the eye

"I'll work on it. I think you're right about me not really dealing with you being shot and missing Joe and then his number was kinda the final straw. I'm sorry" Jamie said

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm glad you trusted me enough to finally put it all out there and let your guard down"

"Of course I trusted you"

"You can't keep everything buried down until it all implodes Jamie. It's not healthy"

"I know" Jamie said nodding

"Do you feel any better?" Eddie asked him

"I do. Thanks for not pushing me, for giving me permission to lay it all out. I didn't think I was still that worried about everything" Jamie said

"Of course Jamie. You don't need permission to talk about your feelings"

"I don't like talking about my feelings" Jamie said

"Lucky for you I do, well eventually" Eddie said laughing

"You tired because I am" Jamie said yawning

"Yea, get some sleep ok?" Eddie said laying down

She laidback her head on Jamie's chest and ran her fingers absentmindedly across his belly. When his breathing evened out and she knew he was asleep she let his heartbeat lull her to sleep.

* * *

So how does everyone think this conversation between Jamie and Danny is gonna go? And I promise I'll get to the Christmas chapter before Christmas this year.


	16. Chapter 16

"Babe time to get up" Eddie said gently shaking Jamie

"Sleeping"

"I know that's why you have to get up"

"Don't wanna" He mumbled

"Come on" Eddie said

"Why? We're off today"

"Exactly we have stuff to do. Your family is coming for dinner tonight because you and Danny lost it"

"Bringing up my brother is a great way to get me out of bed" He said sarcastically

"Come on" Eddie said tugging his arm

"Fine" Jamie said sitting up rubbing his eyes

"So what are we doing today then?"

"It's a surprise"

"I hate surprises" Jamie said

"Trust me?" Eddie asked him

"No" Jamie deadpanned

"It's too early to be demanding" He added

"You can't lay in bed all day and sulk"

"If I get up will you stop?" Jamie asked

"Yes, Mr. Grumpypants"

Jamie finally got up and got dressed and went down stairs where Eddie had their coffee in to-go cups and handed him a granola bar.

"We don't even get breakfast?" He asked

"You have a granola bar" Eddie said matter of factly

"Just why?" Jamie asked

"We're gonna have fun this morning ok? Can you try and be Christmasy for me?" Eddie asked

"Well since it's for you" Jamie said softening a little

They went to the mall and finished up some shopping and Eddie forced him to get their picture with Santa. He knew they looked ridiculous but she was right it was their first Christmas being married and therefore she had every right to go overboard"

"Thanks babe, I needed this" Jamie said holding her hand as they walked around the mall

"It'll be ok, you and Danny will work it out" Eddie said

"I hope so" Jamie said

"I'm all set, you get everything you need. You know you didn't ditch me at all so..." Eddie said leaning into him

"So what?" Jamie asked playing dumb

"You know"

"No I don't" He said smirking

"I hate to ask"

"No you don't" Jamie said laughing "But I got you covered. Already wrapped and everything. You pulling a double last week really helped. Don't even try looking when we go home, you'll never find it"

"Is that a challenge?" Eddie asked him

"No it means don't go snooping and it's not in my office or my locker which I know you have my combo to"

"Dad's house?"

"Nope" Jamie said "Babe even if you guess, you can't go to someone's house and snoop"

"It's at Spencer and Haylie's isn't it?"

"No, and Spencer mentioned something about dinner tomorrow? His text seemed frazzled this morning" Jamie said

"I know you're trying to change the subject but yea it really did" Eddie said agreeing

"Come on I have two stops left to make" Eddie said as they got back to her car

Jamie just went with it, enjoying this time with Eddie. They pulled up to a flower shop and she told him everything was ready she just needed help carrying it out.

When they went in there was a pretty arrangement waiting that looked that it could be a centerpiece with Eddie's name on it, in addition to three Christmas bouquet of flowers with the words, Joe, Mom and Grandma on them.

"Ed, today, really?" Jamie said

"We talked about going this week and it's the only day we both have off. And after last night it'll be good for you"

Once they got back in the car and Eddie started driving to the cemetery, Jamie stayed silent.

"Babe you know you always feel better after going" Eddie said putting her hand on his

"But that doesn't mean I want to go today" Jamie said, slightly annoyed

They were quiet the rest of the way there and once Eddie parked by the Reagan family plot, they both got out and took the three sets of flowers.

"You wanna go over yourself or do you want me to come?" Eddie asked

"Come with me?" Jamie asked, voice slightly shaky

Eddie nodded and took his gloved hand in hers as they made the short walk to the headstones. Jamie gently laid the flowers out on each and blessed himself. He walked back over to Eddie and held her in a sideways hug as he quietly talked to all three of them.

"You ok?" Eddie asked him quietly, one hand on his back.

He nodded and she knew that he couldn't get any words out right now. She had both her parents, she felt like this that her dad wasn't at the wedding, but she was still able to tell him about it and show him pictures. But here, Jamie couldn't and she with everything that had been going on he was having a hard time with his emotions.

"It'll be ok, babe. I'll help you through this anyway I can" Eddie said

Jamie just nodded. She could see how torn he was by loving their new life together but how sad he was over his mom and Joe not being here.

"I hate that I feel this way" Jamie finally said

"What way?" Eddie asked

"Guilty that Joe never got any of this. He never got to have a you, have what we have. That I'm married to the love of my life and we're trying to start a family and she's not here as a mother and hopefully grandmother to see it. That I get so mad at Danny for him getting those things with them. I love you Eddie and you deserve better than me acting like this" Jamie said lowering his head

"Hey, look at me" Eddie said turning to face him

"This is who you are, it shows how hard you love. Jamie you taught me what it is to be a real family, of course you're gonna miss yours. I just hate to see you suffering but I want you to tell me when you need help and when you're sad so we can talk about it or I can help you. I don't want you to keep this stuff from me. I do think that you need to fully process me getting shot, I think a lot of it stems from that and your anger towards Danny"

"I've been ok with them being gone for years but lately, I don't know" Jamie said shaking his head

"Because lately there's been a lot you want them apart of. And I think me getting shot reminded you of how quickly it can all be taken away"

"I guess, I just don't know why it all came back"

"It's ok Jamie, sometimes it just happens. You thought that they would always be here for this and they aren't and you need to deal with it in your own way, and that's ok"

"Don't ever think I don't love you, because God Eddie, I do. So much"

"I know you do" Eddie said hugging him "Just promise me that you'll try and talk to me about this. I really think you need to talk to Danny though" Eddie said

"I guess" Jamie said

"Wanna go get some lunch?" Eddie asked him

"Yea, that's goo..." Jamie said stopping in his tracks

"Jamie, Eddie" Danny said quietly

"What are you?" Jamie asked confused

"I thought I might find you guys here. First Eddie, I truly am sorry for what I said yesterday. I was out of line and you are apart of this family, a very welcomed part and I'm sorry if I made you feel differently. I'm glad Jamie talks to you, he needs someone for that. I really am sorry Eddie" Danny said

"It's ok Danny, we're good" Eddie said giving him a hug

"Kid, can we talk?"

"I don't know, Eddie got me up at the crack of dawn to do stuff"

"We were just gonna get lunch but nothing else" Eddie said

"Jamie can we talk"

"Why Danny so you can force me to see things your way?" Jamie asked annoyed

"No, because we need to. Because you're my brother and I don't want to be fighting the week of Christmas. I'm tired of it kid"

Jamie didn't say anything he just saw Eddie give him a small nod.

"I still have things to do so..." Eddie said

"Come on Jamie, we need to talk" Danny said

"Fine" Jamie said

"Wanna get take out?" Danny asked

"Lunch from Kelly's Deli and then just take it to my place?" Jamie asked

"Yea that works" Danny said

"Try not to trash the house, everyone's coming over tonight. I'll bring pizzas" Eddie said

"Drive safely, I love you" Jamie said kissing her

"I love you too" Eddie added

Once Eddie was in and driving away, Jamie and Danny made their way over to his car. The drive to the deli was relatively silent and when it was time to pay for their order Danny took Jamie's out of his hand.

"My treat" Danny said taking his wallet out

"Thanks" Jamie said sincerely

* * *

"You and Eddie did a good job decorating" Danny said as they pulled into the driveway

"Thanks, we had a good time doing it" Jamie said

They both went into the house and got out plates and drinks and washed up for lunch. Danny started unwrapping his food when he stopped.

"Jamie I really am sorry about saying Eddie's opinion doesn't matter because he wasn't here when Joe did. I was out of line. And for getting mad that you told her first and making fun of you for how your body handles stress. I'm sure you were stressed because of having to tell me. I don't want to keep fighting with you" Danny said talking first

"It's just I can never do anything right in your eyes. Ever since we were kids" Jamie said putting the sandwich on the plate.

"I know, and I'm sorry about that"

"So why'd you do it all those years?" Jamie asked

"You took an instant like to Joe. The first day you were home mom asked me to change your diaper and you peed on me" Danny said giving him a smile

"So you're holding a grudge?" Jamie asked

"No Jamie, you were three days old"

"So why then?"

"You and Joe got a long from the time you were laying in the infant basket in the living room. Then as you gold old enough to want to play with us you always went to Joe or Joe came to you. Erin and I are closer in age and I guess we were always closer growing up. Joe sometimes felt like the odd man out and when you came along, you because his little minion. Going on rides, sitting at the movies, anything it was always Danny and Erin and Joe and Jamie. It was also just our personalities"

Jamie nodded and Danny continued.

"When I went away for bootcamp at eighteen you were only eight. I didn't know if I was going to make it back. So I tried to distance myself from you because by then you wanted to do everything Joe and I did. I never wanted to hurt you Jamie so in that mentality I put some space between us, which only ended up hurting you. It made you and Joe closer though and I knew if anything happened to me than you'd be ok. Joe was your favorite brother so you wouldn't miss me as much"

"Danny I still would have been devastated" Jamie said

"Yea well at seventeen and eighteen I thought I was doing the right thing. Then when I came back, Linda and I got more serious and Erin had Jack and again it was you and Joe. I was deployed again and before I left we never were as close as before I left the first time. You both still wrote me constantly and I wrote back but it was bad. The things I saw I never wanted you and Joe to ever have to see. When none of the rest of my unit came back I withdrew into myself. But Linda and I were already married so I didn't think you'd notice. I didn't want you or Joe to know that I was hurting so again I hurt you instead" Danny said looking down

Jamie could tell that Danny had been holding all of this in and settled.

"When mom died, I knew you'd be ok because you had Joe. Joe made sure of it. I had Linda and the boys and was doing the best I could for them. And in the process I knew I had already failed you and Joe"

"You didn't fail us Danny" Jamie said seriously

"When Joe died" Danny said, his voice cracking

"I didn't know what to do for you. So we fought. it's what we were good at. I figured at least you could take your anger out on me instead of keeping it bottled up inside. Joe was the only one that could really ever get you to express a lot of emotion. And I knew how much I was hurting, I couldn't imagine what your pain was. I didn't want to let you out of my sight but I also didn't know how to comfort you and let you know that I was hurting too. You screaming at me telling me that I didn't get to be sad because of the way I had treated you and Joe. Well there was some truth to it, as messed up as my reasons were. I don't know if you..." Danny said

"I remember" Jamie said, voice thick "We were standing in the hallway outside our rooms. I didn't want to go back to school and you were telling me I had to. And I knew you were right. I thought my chest was going to explode with how angry I was. But I couldn't come out and say I was angry at Joe for getting killed. So I blamed you. I remember screaming so loud my throat hurt that you didn't care about him or me and that you had no right to be sad and miss him. I've regretted pretty much ever since" Jamie said closing his eyes

"When that happened I didn't know if there was a way to ever repair our relationship. I was always too busy trying to protect you to find out what you really needed from me. The start of the deterioration of our relationship, that's all on me Jamie. You were too young to know what was happening" Danny said

"I am sorry Danny, I should never have said that to you. I think I hope that you would have forgotten what I said and that's why I never apologized. It...it hurts too much" Jamie said, voice breaking

Danny didn't say anything but he put his hand on Jamie's shoulder, and wiped the tears out of his own eyes.

"It's ok Jamie, I never took it personally" Danny said "I knew how hurt you were. The first few nights I brought you home from school I slept outside your bedroom door. You refused to let me in but I couldn't just leave you there. So I stayed at dad's and slept right out at your door. Just in case you needed me" Danny said

"I know you did" Jamie said looking up

"You knew?" Danny asked, surprised

"Yea. I got up to go the bathroom and get water one night and basically tripped over you. God, what I'm gonna say makes me the biggest ass in the world"

"Just say it, it's about time" Danny said

"I didn't want you, I didn't want to want you because then it meant that Joe was dead. I didn't know why you were there. I felt like you were trying to take Joe's place and it made me hate you. I hated that you were the one there … and … and not him" Jamie said putting his head in his hands, shedding a few tears

"Jamie, you were angry and I hadn't given you anything to trust me with. You need to let that go now. I'm not mad" Danny said gently

"I've felt awful about it ever since" Jamie said

"Of course you have. You're the golden child, you always were the kindest" Danny said "Jamie I really am sorry that you felt like you couldn't turn to me. I know I made it that way and at that point it was all you knew" Danny said, shedding a few tears

"I guess I figured that if you had been nicer to Joe than maybe he would have told you about the templar and everything going on. I blamed you. And I'm sorry"

"I blamed myself for that too" Danny said

"You did?" Jamie asked

"Yea, for a long time. I figured that Joe thought he couldn't trust me with something like that and if he felt that he had then maybe he wouldn't have gotten killed" Danny said

"I didn't know you were guilty over it"

"I was. And when you told us. God you were a rookie. You looked no older than twelve and when you said you were just trying to honor your brother and your voice cracked it solidified that you didn't think you could trust me either and that I was about to lose another brother"

"I figured there was a reason Joe didn't tell you" Jamie said "And I didn't want to betray his trust, but I also didn't want to die" Jamie said

"I didn't want you to be a cop, because I didn't want to have to worry about you and about what could possibly happen. So I just took a firm stance against it. And in the process probably made you feel like shit"

"Just a little" Jamie said giving him a small smile

"Again I wanted to put distance between us because I couldn't handle losing another sibling. I didn't want to lose my baby brother" Danny said

"Dan..."

"Let me finish" Danny said

Jamie nodded.

"I figured if I told you enough times that maybe you would go back to the law and a desk and be more at risk for a papercut than getting shot. I could live with you hating me as long as you lived"

"Danny that's twisted" Jamie said

"I know it is. But I felt that I had to do everything I could to keep you alive since I had failed Joe. I couldn't fail you too" Danny said

"You didn't fail us Danny, it just happened" Jamie said meeting his eye

"I guess I had some survivor's guilt in being the one that was alive. I was the one that had gone off to war, only one that made it back. Then Joe is the one that got killed. I felt like it should've been me for years" Danny said

"I don't think I helped you feel any differently either" Jamie said sheepishly

"Not exactly, kid" Danny said giving him a smile

"Joe was always the peace maker between us. Eddie told me that you and I are more alike than we'd care to realize"

"Linda says the same thing. She's never understood our relationship"

"I don't think I have either" Jamie said

"I am sorry kid. I don't want to keep fighting with you all the time. I'm sure we'll disagree and stuff but I never want it to come to what it did last night. It was, I could see that you have been struggling a little and I made it worse. I really am sorry, Jamie" Danny said sincerely

"I'm sorry too" Jamie said "Eddie kinda told me, which made me realize that she's right. That I have been mad at you for getting mom and Joe at the things they should be at. I hadn't been able to admit it till last night that I've been jealous and angry and subconsciously comparing you to Joe"

"Ah" Danny said nodding

"What?"

"Just different things you've said about not having mom and Joe here"

"I guess I was jealous that mom and Joe got to be here when you married the love of your life and for your first holiday's with Linda and then when the boys were born. My kids won't have a grandma and an Uncle Joe and I feel like sometimes you take it for granted that you got them for that" Jamie said, slightly angry

"I'm sorry Jamie. God I never even thought about that"

"Why would you?" Jamie asked sadly

"Jamie it's ok to still miss them" Danny said

"I know that but you don't know what it's like not having them here for that stuff" Jamie said

"I don't, but I do know what it's like wishing they were here for other things. Joe always told me that I would never get medals on the job because I was too heated. When Biaez and I got the medal of valor, I wished so bad that Joe was there for that. I know he would made fun and said it was only cause of dad but I also know how proud he would have been. I do understand wanting them there for somethings"

"Just Joe was always supposed to be my best man and I mean you did a great job, but I remember when you got married and picked Joe. I always thought Joe would have been the one slipping me some whisky to calm my nerves. I always thought I would have gotten to dance with mom and I didn't. You had them for it and I was jealous and so I took it out on you without even me understanding why" Jamie said

"It must've been really hard knowing they weren't there for it" Danny said "Jamie I know things with us get bad sometimes but I'm your older brother you know you can talk to me"

"I don't always know that though. I never know when you'll be serious or when you'll get all jackass like. I think that comes from me comparing you to Joe too. But it's just been a lot lately. Then Ed got shot and I thought I lost her" Jamie said trailing off

"You thought you lost another best friend?" Danny asked softly

Jamie just nodded and closed her eyes

"You tell Eddie any of this?" Danny asked

"Last night" Jamie said "She said she hadn't realized that I never processed her getting shot"

"I mean you didn't. You were too busy hovering over her" Danny said

"What did you want me to do?" Jamie asked getting mad

"Exactly what you did. Take care of her and make sure she was ok. You just needed to make sure you were ok too" Danny said "Trust me, that's what happened with Linda and I when she got shot"

"I told her last night. We talked for awhile. She's the one that kept telling me I needed to talk to you"

"I think we've always talked around our problems over the years" Danny said

"Ya think?" Jamie asked

"I never meant for it to get this far"

"Neither did I" Jamie said

"I'm sorry for messing it up all those years"

"Me too" Jamie said "I know we will still disagree and stuff but I think we are headed in the right direction"

"I think we are too. And if you ever want to talk about not wanting Joe's shield. I promise I won't judge or get mad. I shouldn't have said what I said about you being his best friend and not wanting it"

"Thanks Danny. I do plan on telling everyone at dinner"

"I guess I didn't realize you still held out hope that he would show up one day. I think that's part of being the baby of the family. We tried to protect you from it and we couldn't"

"Is it safe to come in?" Eddie asked walking into the house

"Yes Eddie" Jamie said drying his eyes

"Need any help?" Danny asked

"No, someone will just have to get the pizza's later. I had enough of shopping and it was too crowded and I was done. I can leave and go to your dad's or something" Eddie said

"Not necessary" Jamie said

"We kissed and made up" Danny said

"Good job" She said patting them on the head.

"How are you guys doing?" Eddie asked, genuinely concerned

"We didn't punch each other" Jamie said

"Good, I really didn't want to have to get in the middle and break you two up" Eddie said

"I think it taught us both some lessons. And you clearly couldn't be more perfect for my little brother" Danny said to her

"Now hug it out, go on" Eddie said

"That's not us" Jamie said

"Do it" Eddie said firmly

Jamie and Danny did as they were told and gave each other a hug. Jamie went over to Eddie and hugged her and whispered in her ear "Thanks babe" Eddie didn't say anything, she just squeezed his arm.

"We should watch a Christmas movie before everyone gets here" Eddie said

"You married buddy the elf" Danny said to Jamie

"But she's much cuter than Buddy the elf" Jamie said smiling as he followed Eddie into the living room

* * *

I hope you all enjoy it! Don't forget to review! Next chapter will be the whole family talking.


	17. Chapter 17

Whoa, I can't believe it's been so long since I updated. I am really sorry. Surgery and graduate school are not the best combination and I just had no time to even think about writing. I hope you will all still continue to follow this series!

"What time is everyone else coming?" Danny asked

"I think soon" Jamie said

"Linda texted and said that she would bring the Pizzas. She asked if you two had to be thrown in jail yet." Eddie said

"So funny" Jamie said

"Come on, help me set the table" Eddie said

"God she's worse than mom" Danny said laughing

"Tell me about it" Jamie said rolling his eyes and laughing

Eddie went up to Jamie and kissed him which earned them gagging noises from Danny.

Jamie went to get the dishes out to set the table and before Eddie could walk away, Danny said her name quietly. "Eddie"

"Yea?" She asked turning around

"I'm truly sorry about the way I spoke to you and Jamie, I was clearly out of line when I said you couldn't have an opinion. You're just as much apart of this family as any of us, it doesn't matter that you weren't here for it. I was a jackass and I'm sorry" Danny said sincerely

"We're good Danny. I promise. I knew you and Jamie had some rocky times, I wasn't expecting you all to sit around a campfire and sing. But it still doesn't excuse why you two can't communicate. I know Jamie say's that your dad says you're both emotionally constipated and..." Eddie said before she saw Danny laughing

"What?" Eddie asked

"I'm glad Jamie can talk to you, he needs that. Sarge, Spece, Er, me, we never could replace Joe. You're not replacing him either, but I know how special you must be if Jamie knows he can open up to you"

"Thanks Danny"

"I still hope one day he and I can get there. I think today was a good start. I really am sorry Eddie, I think I was a little jealous that Jamie talked to you and not me, it's part of what we talked about. Why I acted the way I acted sometimes. I'll let the kid fill you in when he's ready"

"We're good Danny, don't worry" Eddie said hugging him

"Thanks Janko"

"You already trying to hit on my brother?" Jamie asked laughing as he walked in

"Yea, you're too much work" Eddie said laughing

A little while later Linda walked in with the boys each holding pizzas.

"Jack you better be holding a white pizza" Eddie said to him

"Of course, I was all alone in that before you came along"

Eddie just laughed and put a few slices of each into the oven to warm them up.

"You two alright?" Linda asked walking up to Jamie and Danny

"We're good, right kid?" Danny asked putting a hand on Jamie's shoulder

"We're good" Jamie said

"Uncle Jamie are you still mad at dad?" Sean asked

"No we're fine buddy, why?" Jamie asked

"Just making sure" Sean said

"Both of you, no matter what happens can always come to Eddie or I for anything ok? Even if your dad and I have a fight. That will never change. You're dad is still my brother whether he likes it or not. We fight just like you guys do, but at the end of the day he's still family and I still love him" Jamie said

"I'm touched" Danny said grabbing the beer out of Jamie's hand

"I mean it Danny" Jamie said seriously as Sean when to help Eddie carry the heated pizzas into the dining room

"Me too, Jamie" Danny said sincerely

Once they were all seated around the dining room and began passing the pizzas Frank finally spoke.

"So, have we all thought of an answer yet?" Frank asked taking an extra slice

"I think so" Jamie said

"I think the first question Joe would ask is why you didn't want it?" Erin asked Jamie

"Erin" Danny said sternly "Don't make him talk if he doesn't want to" Danny said

"Thanks Dan. It probably is time I told you" Jamie said trailing off

"When I became a cop, I decided to honor Joe by being the best cop that I thought, whether it meant training rookies" Jamie said putting his arm around Eddie

"Or marrying them" Henry said smiling

"That too" Jamie said smirking "But just trying to do what he would do. You know go above the call of duty when he could to help someone out" Jamie said

"You do that everyday" Eddie said sincerely, knowing it wasn't easy for him to open up to his family

"And I know it sounds crazy but when I was trying to decide if I wanted Joe's shield number or not, Saving Private Ryan came on and Ryan, Reagan, Ryan, Reagan..."

"You got superstitious?" Frank asked knowing how his youngest felt

"Yea I guess, kinda more a sign that maybe taking his shield number would have some kind of bad vibe attached"

"You're not the only superstitious one in the family" Henry said

"But this is where I go a little cookoo" Jamie said looking down at his plate.

His hands were in his lap and he felt Eddie give his knee a gentle squeeze and then look for his hand.

"Jamie, you sure. You don't have to" Danny said

"What he told you so the rest of us get kept in the dark" Erin said

"No, I mean it's his reasons" Danny said

"Jamie, Danny is right. You don't have to tell us" Frank said

"I think it's probably time" Jamie said swallowing hard

"Take as long as you need" Henry said

"Joe was the first person I told I wanted to be a cop after law school. I don't regret going, I think it made me a better cop, better person; but I wasn't sure it was the right fit for me. One of the weekends he came up to see me I told him where my head was and he asked me why I decided to express it now. That if I wanted to spend a hundred grand I could've taken him on vacation"

"Only Joe" Frank said smiling, having never heard the story before.

"Then I asked him if mom would be mad" Jamie said stiffening a little. He caught Eddie's eye and she nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"He said she'd haunt me the rest of my life that her baby was joining the family business. But he also told me that she would want me to be happy and if I truly wasn't going to be happy being a lawyer then I needed to do the right thing. He also offered me dad's job and told me that I was probably smarter then him already" Jamie said laughing a little

"But he told me that I couldn't live my life trying to please everyone around me and that I needed to follow what I thought was best, that no matter what I'm always a Reagan even if I didn't feel like it at times. He also asked me if I was joining just to prove it to Danny that I was good enough. Which that was a small factor but I honestly believed it was what I should do with my life. I wanted to make a difference, most of the people at school only saw dollar signs and that wasn't me. I know I would've done well but I don't think I would have been as happy" Jamie said

"Son, while I am happy you're finally sharing your feelings with us more in one dinner than you have in your entire life, we do need to make a decision" Frank said prodding him along

"I know, I know but it all goes with it" Jamie said, getting nervous

"Take your time" Henry said, shooting Frank a look

"I told Joe all of this the last time he came up to see me before he was killed. He was gonna help me tell you all when I got home for summer break but that obviously didn't happen"

"I'm sorry I tried talking you out of it all those years ago. I was being over protective and selfish. I thought you were doing it on a whim because of Joe. I should have known better than to think you would just fly off the handle and join the NYPD without thinking it through or talking to someone about it" Erin said, hugging Jamie

"It's ok, Sis. I waited till as long as I could but I guess telling you the week before I started the Academy wasn't the best idea. Pop did know. I talked to him about, at great length. I swore him to secrecy."

"Pop" Frank said

"I know there's times Nicky and Jack and Sean go to you that you keep secret, I did the same. Jamie needed someone he could talk to. I know getting that trust for him to open up isn't easy, I wasn't playing fast and loose with it"

"Thanks Pop, and for keeping it a secret"

"Of course" Henry said

"So I wrestled with it all though the Academy and I did talk to Pop a little bit about it but..." Jamie said looking for Eddie's hand again

"Damn. I thought, naively, that somehow one day, it would all just be a bad dream. That Joe would walk into the kitchen, eat all the leftovers and everything would...would be fine." Jamie said sniffing and clearing his throat.

"I couldn't take his shield number because" Jamie said squeezing his eyes tight "Because a small part of me always held out hope that he was alive and by taking 46808, it...it would have meant that Joe was gone" Jamie said looking like he was gonna bolt out of there.

He leaned over and put his arm around Eddie and put his face behind her head and into the back of her shoulder. He couldn't look at his family, he knew what he said just broke their hearts but he couldn't move, but he also couldn't look at them.

"Oh Jamie" Erin said softly putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Babe" Eddie said quietly enough that only Jamie heard her.

He untangled his hand from hers and wiped his eyes before he sat back up.

"Son" Frank said standing up

"Dad I'm sorry" Jamie said

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry you've been carrying that weight around all this time. That's an unimaginable burden" Frank said, emotion evident in his voice and waiting for his youngest to stand up

Jamie stood up and looked his dad in the eye. Jamie's were slightly red, he did a good job trying to hide his tears, what he wasn't expecting was to see one roll down his father's face. Jamie knew that everything they had all been though, he'd only seen his dad cry a handful of times.

Frank hugged him and leaned down to his ear.

"I love you Jameson" He said

"I love you too dad" Jamie said, voice cracking with emotion

Jamie sat back down and looked at Eddie and saw her eyes were rimmed red.

"Not you too" Jamie said wiping her tear away, laughing

Eddie gave him a small laugh back.

Jamie finally looked at his family, it was clear they all had some varying degree of emotion on their face, Jack and Sean included.

No one spoke or moved, so Jamie decided to continue.

"When I decided that I didn't or couldn't take his shield number I decided to honor him by being the best cop that I could. That I would always do good, and learn and try and teach" Jamie said taking Eddie's hand

"And that if I kept how Joe did his job alive in me that...that even though he physically wasn't here, that a part of him would live on, through me. That I could also know the difference between doing more harm and good and if maybe, just maybe I saved one life or helped one person that then Joe and everything he stood for" Jamie said pausing "That everything that was Joe would continue. Eddie asked me if when I thought of Joe if I immediately thought of his shield number. I don't any more. At the time when I had to decide, anything that was brought up about him made me want to crawl out of my own skin, I couldn't separate a number from him and I think I had some guilt about that but I knew that I couldn't lose it on the job by thinking of those numbers. I've had his picture in my hat all these years and now while it will always be Joe's number, like Eddie said to me, he wasn't a number. He was Joe, the man that would literally do anything for anyone and that's how I decided to honor him" Jamie said

"I couldn't have had this conversation back then, I was too angry and I knew I couldn't be angry at him even though I was so angry at him for getting killed and then when the Templar stuff came up, angry that he didn't tell anyone. I took a lot of it out on Danny, and we talked about that today. I couldn't accept that Joe was gone when I was trying to decide. I knew he was, but some irrational part of me always hope it was just the worst nightmare of my life and that... and that one I'd wake up and Joe would be sitting in dad's chair, with one of his cigars trying to imitate him" Jamie said giving a small laugh

"Jam..." Erin said before she stopped talking and just took Jamie's hand

"It's ok Er, you had no way of knowing. I closed myself off pretty good" Jamie said hugging her

"Jamie, I had no idea you'd been in that much pain" Henry said, sitting in disbelief

"I learned how to hide it and accept it on my own terms" Jamie said taking a sip of water

"I wish we knew..." Linda said trailing off

"I'm sorry I pushed all those times about you not taking his number, Jamie. I'm glad you finally told us" Danny said, his voice thick

"Are you ok?" Erin asked knowing that was one of the hardest things Jamie had ever done.

"I am" Jamie said nodding "I've dealt with tiny pieces over the years off and on and Joe was larger than life and I knew that he would have slapped me upside the head, and trapped me under a laundry basket if I spent my days being sad and emotional. So I didn't handle most of it and sorta just dealt with putting out the flames as they came. Until this one decided we need to talk about our feelings" Jamie said kissing Eddie's head

"I also learned that in his own twisted way, that him keeping us as partners was his way of protecting me, not shutting me out" Eddie said

"Um, you know the Sargent's test?" Jamie asked

"Yea, you said you weren't taking it and then got the highest score how would we forget" Danny said

"Well the night dad and I had a fight about it, Ed came over"

"He was basically throwing a hissy fit" Eddie said

"She told me I was acting like a petulant child and I needed to get over myself" Jamie said laughing

"And that he was the only one that saw himself as the 'baby'" Eddie said "And then, then I asked him why he didn't want to take it" Eddie said growing quiet

"You, I can't" Jamie said mumbling

"He told me that if he took the test that would mean that I would die" Eddie said looking away from everyone

"Somewhere in my head I had equated the Academy test and Joe's death and the Sargent's test with Vinny's death and I figured that if I took this one, something would... that Ed...she'd" Jamie said before stopping

"Wouldn't be ok" Frank said finishing for him and nodding, mentally kicking himself

"Yea that was a fun night" Jamie said trying to lighten the mood

"Jesus, Jamie" Danny said

"I couldn't lose another best friend" Jamie said quietly

"Jamie" Linda said gently

"So I really resonated with Nic, when she said that when something good happens, something bad happens"

"You're the one that told me you can't live like that" Nicky said wiping her eyes

"Yea, I knew how hard it was" Jamie said

"I told him I wasn't done giving him attitude and sass and that I wasn't going anywhere" Eddie said

"Thank you, Eddie" Frank said

"Do you and Danny wanna share what you worked on, today?" Henry asked

Jamie and Danny locked eyes and silently agreed no.

"It's between us, but we learned a lot from each other and I think we both understand why and how things got to where they got" Danny said

"It went pretty far back, and it was both of us trying to protect the other and things just got messy" Jamie said

"But we're good" Danny said

"And non punches were thrown" Jamie said giving him a small

"You thought about it" Danny said

"Well, duh" Jamie said which seemed to allow everyone to let out the breath they had been holding in to lighten the mood

"You ok over there?" Eddie asked Jack as Danny looked at Sean

Eddie could tell Jack was still upset. His glasses were still foggy and he kept sniffling as he played with the napkin in his lap.

"Yea" Jack said quietly and Eddie gave him a hug

"Sean?" Danny asked

"Yea, I just didn't fully understand everything back then and I kinda wish I still didn't" Sean said

"Me too" Jack said agreeing

"I love you Sean" Jack said finally looking up

"I love you too Jack" Sean said wiping his eyes

"They said they loved each other, I can die happily now" Linda said

No one said anything before they all started laughing

"That was a poor choice of words" Linda said still laughing

"I'm surprised people let us out into the world everyday to do our jobs, if they saw all this" Erin said

"They'd think we had gone insane" Jamie said

"Exactly"

"This is a lot of crazy, is it to late..?" Eddie said smirking

"Way too late, you're stuck as a Reagan now" Jamie said

"It's not a terrible thing to be apart of" Eddie conceded smirking

"Yea we'll keep you" Henry said

"Thanks" Eddie said

"So, should we put it to a vote and heat then heat up the pizza we haven't touched yet" Frank asked

"God, Jamie, I was not expecting that"

"Hey you all have been hounding me for years to open up and talk about my feelings and let it out and blah, blah, blah" Jamie said putting his hands up in defense

"Yea well we didn't need you to unleash all our water works in one night, kid" Danny said

"It was time, I needed to let it go" Jamie said getting serious again

"Do you feel better?" Danny asked

"Yea" Jamie said nodding "I do. I thought I was protecting all of you all these years and I didn't want to make anyone else sad. I thought I was the only one that felt that way"

"Jamie I miss him a thousand times a day, you're never alone in missing Joe" Erin said

"You're not son" Frank said

"Somewhere I knew that, but I just couldn't go there yet" Jamie said

"So what are we thinking?" Henry asked

"I think Jamie should go first" Danny said "It clearly meant the most and affected him the most"

"She's a solid cop. I think we all honor him in our own ways and to honor her father, I think she'd be for it. I can see and hear his number now without wanting the ground to swallow me up. And for a fellow cop, well Joe would do anything. I honor him by being the best cop I can be and by driving his '71 SS Chevelle" Jamie said

"Did you crash it?" Jack asked

"Yea, after someone cut the brake lines" Jamie said

"So there's no curse in driving his car" Henry said

"Who said anything about curses, superstitious is one thing, curses.. that's some dangerous territory" Danny said

"No nobody" Frank said knowing what him and Henry talked about

"Figure of speech" Henry said

"So, Jamie?"

"There'd be no question. Help a fellow cop, honor a fallen cop, a father. He'd wanna know why we're taking this long to decide" Jamie said putting his hand up and swallowing hard.

"I think he would be for it" Linda said

"You do?" Frank asked

"I do" Linda said nodding

"Me too" Sean said

"I guess if it was for a cop to honor their father he'd say yea" Danny said putting his hand up. He looked over at Jamie, who nodded back to him

"Is she cute?" Erin asked looking at Jamie and Eddie

"Ah, I. I'm married now" Jamie said stammering

"She is. You could've answered" Eddie said

"Then he'd say yes" Which got everyone laughing

"Nicky?" Frank asked

She didn't say anything but she put her hand up and looked at Jamie"

"It's ok Nic" Jamie said quietly to her

"Jack?" Frank asked

He paused before answering "Sure" He said swallowing hard and putting his hand up. Eddie put her hand on his shoulder, knowing how much Jack was like Jamie and how he kept everything bottled up

"Eddie?"

"Oh I" Eddie said

"You're family too, Eddie" Danny said looking at her

"From everything I've heard and how highly Jamie always talks of him and knowing how much he and all of you value family. I think for a cop to honor a family member that was a cop he would want it" Eddie said looking at Jamie

"Pop?" Frank asked

"Francis?" Henry asked, eyes starting to water

Frank and Henry both raised their hands.

Frank took a second before he spoke.

"It's unanimous. That's a good thing" Frank said "I think" He added

"I think we're making the right decision" Jamie said looking at his father

"You sure?"

"I am" Jamie said "I haven't bolted from the table yet, and we're all still sitting here so, I believe that we made the right decision" Jamie said

Frank nodded.

"Thank you" Jamie whispered to Eddie

"I'll always have your back" Eddie said

"No retreat, no surrender" Jamie said "I love you"

"I love you too" Eddie said

"So is anyone else hungry, I feel like I ran a damn marathon today" Danny said

"Try living with Eddie, she loves talking" Jamie said

"Well if you could use that mouth and smart brain of yours it wouldn't always resemble pulling teeth" Eddie said

"You're such a jerk" Jamie said laughing as he kissed

"Jameson" Henry said

"What?" Jamie asked

"Pop, no it's ok." Eddie said laughing "It kind became our thing over the years. When one of us couldn't think of a sarcastic comeback"

"Or were just too in love with their partner to think" Jamie said poking her side

"Shut up" Eddie said laughing

"We would say it, mostly to protect ourselves and our partnership" Jamie said

"And it kinda just stuck. It was usually when Mr. Emtionally Constipated couldn't tell me how he was actually feeling and..." Eddie said laughing

"Long story short, we're both ok with it. I don't know many couples who call each other by their last names"

"Or both have names that could be switched"

"We've been over this, Jameson is a decidedly male name and Edit is just weird" Jamie said laughing

"You two are so cute" Nicky said

"I'm gonna puke" Danny said, stealing Jamie's saying when he would do something nice for Linda

"Get outta here" Jamie said laughing

"Alright, time for food?" Eddie asked

"Gotta feed her or she gets a little cranky" Jamie said laughing as Eddie tossed her napkin at him.

* * *

I hope you all liked it, don't forget to review!


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